Incognito
by GalaxyVisionary
Summary: AU. The Sohmas run the world's top undercover spy agency. Their newest addition is a rookie with an impressive skill set in her repertoire. She takes on the job to escape the ruins that was her past and turn a new leaf. Can she overcome the pain of being abandoned by her parents? Or will the rejection crush the hope she clings to for warmer holidays and a real family?
1. Chapter 1: Back to Backstories

**Chapter One: Back to Backstories**

"Mai Sohma," My instructor of two years called my name, her booming and raspy voice echoing off the newly waxed floors.

She was applauding for me like I was her daughter. Shedding tears for me like I was precious to her. Beaming as if witnessing herself, living vicariously through me. The toughest chick in the academy was actually misty eyed over me. Ayane always told me I was her favorite student. It wasn't until today that I actually believed her.

I rise from the rickety blue chair and saunter up to the podium. I moved as if I were on air, weightless. Maybe I was. Today, I was worth something. Today, I was known for more than my sins and wrongdoing. But for something I could tell people about and not have the urge to go into hiding after.

A bright and shiny badge is pinned to the breast pocket of my black button down. It reflects my awed expression, right back to me. The twinge of satisfaction that shone in my eyes of amber. I can't help but admire my mirror image; albeit, its a nice change from shying away from it.

My trainer grabs for my hand, raising it, and bowing at the waist. I supposed I was expected to do the same. The purple gem dangling from my choker jangles as I follow suit. The small group of spectators jumped to their feet, clapping the best they could with their own certificate or medals in hand.

It was a momentous occasion for me. I'm now _officially_ a Sohma Agent; hired on the spot for my impressive credentials. My sparring partner, Natsuki claimed I got in for my namesake. But we both knew it wasn't true.

I subconsciously scan the crowd for my foster parents, hoping to see a middle aged brunette cradling her newborn, and her husband beside her.

They were nowhere to be found.

My heart sinks at this revelation, even though I knew they'd be a no-show. As soon as they heard I was finished with training, they jetted.

The announcement that they were getting rid of me seemed to come out of nowhere.

Their biological son, Takumoto had the nipple of a bottle pressed to his lips, drinking formula. My foster mom knew that she ought to be breast feeding, but she was selfish. She whined about how it hurt and turned to formula instead.

Anyways, I was just scarfing down my breakfast, unsuspecting when my foster dad said, "You won't be living with us anymore."

 _Oh please, don't hold back. Might as well drop an atomic bomb while you're at it._

I remember the chopsticks slipped out of my hand, clattered to the floor. A string of curses I picked up from my former owner slipped out before I stopped them. Honestly though, I was too furious to care.

"Language Mai," my foster mom reprimanded me, nestling her one and only child. It was as if she was taunting me or something. Like 'Haha. This newborn is more popular and appreciated than _you_ could ever be.'

I couldn't fight the urge to roll my eyes. My 'language' was the least of her worries.

And that was the last time I spoke to them... In fact, it was the last time I'd even seen them. I'd always hated goodbyes, but that one was in its own class of suckage.

Never mind that, though.

I was going to be one of the first female agents from this academy and one of the youngest at age 16. But, I'm ready for it. I didn't spend two years holed up in a training gym to muck it up now. All the blood, sweat, and tears had to count for something.

I would be living at the best spy agency in the world; studying and breathing the same air as famous espionage aficionados. So in the end, who cared about my foster parents…?

I did.

I watch my fellow trainees receive bouquets of roses, wreath's, hugs, and kisses while I swallow back my jealousy. The badge attached to my blouse seems especially heavy now. And cheap...counterfeit.

Worthless.

But, who cares if no one shows up to support me on the most important day of my life? I didn't need anyone…

Lies.

XxX

It was getting late – almost nine o'clock – by the time I left the academy. Since I had nowhere to stay until the enrollment tomorrow morning, I opted for the nearby pub and diner. It was always open from night to morning, and the familiarity alone was a comfort I desperately needed.

I place my bandaged left hand onto the chrome handle and push the door open; the air conditioner blasting me as I stepped inside. Even though it was Mid-September, the manager always ensured his customers were a step away from hypothermia. He was thoughtful that way. Even though he was snarky and oftentimes cynical, we got along swimmingly; possibly because we were so similar.

I slide into the red vinyl booth, and plop my feet on the seat across from me. I shake my head from side to side, sending yellow and brown leaves tumbling out of my Auburn ringlets. The only thing I loved about being the fox; my hair.

A laminated menu rested on the sticky table, lying precariously beneath a salt shaker. It wasn't a rarity. Parents brought their young children here, their hands covered in some candy substance or other, leaving behind their sticky evidence. Being the anal retentive person I was, it's a good thing I didn't need it. I'd memorized the whole thing.

A young girl – maybe my age – with brunette hair and the bluest of eyes bounced over, retrieving the yellow pencil from behind her ear. Flipping a page on the notepad clutched in her trembling hands, she poised the pencil over the paper, ready to take my order.

"Welcome to New Leaf home of Tokyo's best Dumplings and Beer. What can I get for you today?" Dumplings and Beer was by far the worst combo in the world. But try telling that to Mr. Hashima. He'd try to give you pneumonia on top of the hypothermia.

I could tell the girl was a noob. Like me, she was starting something new, terrified of screwing up that something. Since I had an okay day, I decided to not pick on her. I eyed the bright green name tag pinned to her checkered dress pocket. Tohru.

"Yes, I'd like Yakitori chicken with soy sauce, and a vanilla malt." Those were the only two things I ever ordered; malts and grilled chicken on a skewer. It was the only safe dish in my opinion. Plus, it was the sole food Mr. Hashima didn't spit in.

Tohru jotted down my order, her pencil scratching the page, her tongue stuck out in concentration. After finishing, she slid the pencil behind her ear, her lips lifting in a genuine smile. The fact that it wasn't fake and forced made me like her already. "Okay, I'll be right back with your order." She turned on her heel and dashed off towards the kitchen area, sliding my order onto the rotating rack.

I've been going to this place so long; I picked up on the lingo without meaning to. Like "On the Rail," means you better hurry the heck up with my order before I bolt. With how much I frequented this joint, I'd seen my share of chuds. They were the ones that took up an entire booth to themselves just to drink coffee; basically caffeine addicted jerks.

Kicking off the stilettos I was stupid enough to wear, I slide down into the booth, attempting to relax a bit.

I try to avoid thinking about the person I used to be. I normally pushed aside every last trace of negative emotions I used to suffocate under; abandonment, distrust, guilt, and worst of all disappointment. I usually kept myself busy with training, binging at New Leaf, and sleeping. But now in the dim lighting of the diner and the anxiety for tomorrow, my mind went there a lot.

It all started when I was five.

 _I didn't always live with my Foster Parents of course. There was a time I was constantly scrambling for food, sleeping under bridges, and in alleys. I used to go door to door waiting for my prayers to be answered, wishing that someone would pity me enough to take me in. Just when I'd given up hope, a guy named Ryu supplied me with food and water. I took him up on it because I was starving. At first I thought he was just being a Good Samaritan and helping the homeless and unwanted girl out. But as time went on, he wanted something in return from me…he wanted me to do his dirty work. Ryu trained me to steal, con, and deceive. I didn't want to do it but I needed what he had to offer me; food, water, and shelter. The last job I did for him was just when I was 12, before I changed._

 _I quickened my pace and rushed into a pharmacy not far from Ryu's. I darted behind a magazine rack and took out the security camera with a laser pointer. It had a view of the front desk and entrance. After ensuring the footage was nothing but static, I crept up to the counter where all the non-prescription drugs were. A man – in his 20's – was checking inventory. He was stocky, his face oily and dotted with acne, his two front teeth jutting out. Thankfully he was the only person within earshot. Finally noticing my presence, he faced me. "Are you here to pick up a prescription?"_

 _"Yeah, put the cough syrup and sleeping pills in the bag," I ordered behind my face mask, holding out a brown paper bag. "I want all the cash you got on top."_

 _He cocked his head, his brown eyes twinkling, and a smile playing along his lips. "Aww a little girl is trying to rob a store; for what, a lollipop? Very cute."_

 _He pivoted to finish shelving when he heard a gun cock behind him. It was seconds before he was nearly eye to eye with my revolver. I loved the thing and even had it engraved with my initials, M.S. One droll evening I considered playing Russian Roulette with it. But I valued my life… somewhat._

 _He backed himself against the shelves, sending several bottles of pills crashing to the floor._

 _I smirked behind the black cloth of my mask. "Now that we understand each other…put it in the bag and be quick about it. It's your life on the line."_

 _He nodded, finally doing what I asked, his free hand reaching beneath the counter. I didn't know what he was doing at the time, but in hindsight I realized he hit the red button of doom. The one that signaled the police. Why didn't Ryu warn me about that?_

 _I surveyed the area, checking to see if the coast was clear, before I snatched the bag away. I made a break for the front door when I caught sight of flashing blue and red lights. The cops. I spun around to head out the exit and jiggled the handle. Locked. No longer having time, I kicked in the glass, and darted into the alley, racing back to Ryu's as if hell were on my heels._

"Here you go," a chirpy voice broke into my thoughts. I looked up to see the Tohru girl sliding a ceramic plate of food, and my vanilla malt with whip cream onto the table. Much to my surprise, there was no cherry on top. Mr. Hashima never remembered to leave it off even though I was allergic. But she did. How did she know?

"I hope you enjoy," she smiled, bowing at the waist, before skirting off to wait on a man nursing a hangover.

Well, wonders never cease…I finally found an employee of Mr Hashima's that I actually liked. Taking a bite of my blissful Yakitori, I can't help but smile. Tonight, it tasted incredible.

XxX

Bright and early the next morning, I stepped foot into the Sohma Agency Facilities. It took me forever to get here – two years of training and an hour of security – but I was here and boy did I love it.

It was about five stories high; people bustling with activity scattered throughout the building, all clothed in uniform. I couldn't wait to get my hands on one of my own. Even though the place was busy, it was far from chaotic. Everyone moved about with decorum and order, something I was quite fond of. It reminded me of my foster parents.

 _Mai, they disowned you…they're not even worth a second thought. Focus._

I walked to the center of the marble tile, trying to take in every last minute detail that I could. Having a photographic memory didn't hurt.

Just then, a man with obsidian hair, dark eyes, and pale skin approached me. He had this way about him that showed he meant business. Something else I noticed about the way he looked and moved; you wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

The man bowed and I mimicked the gesture before straightening. "You must be Mai Sohma, I was expecting you." The tone of his voice sent chills rippling up my spine. I painted on a polite smile, bowing once again. "Yes…"

A smile ghosted his lips as he clasped his hands behind his back. "Where are my manners? I'm the head of the agency, Akito Sohma. It is a pleasure to meet someone of your repertoire." Wait, he was my boss? Crap, if I'd known I would have dressed nicer. I thought I was just being assigned my dorm and roommate today.

He seems to notice my apprehension because he takes my hand and draws it to his lips; placing a kiss along my rough skin. "Today you will be given your living arrangements and assigned a partner. Miss Mine Kurame will take it from here. It truly was a pleasure meeting you," he punctuated his statement with another feathery kiss on my hand.

I felt my cheeks flush as he released my hand, his own dropping to the side. "Um, the pleasure was all mine." He smiled before walking off, taking long and graceful strides. There was something about him that terrified me. But I'd better get over it; he was the one responsible for my career. He could take it away in an instant if I was too careless.

Just then a woman – Mine – stepped out, and drew near me with a commanding presence. I felt drawn to her immediately because she looked to be a strong and powerful woman in a career of chauvinistic and sexist men. She was dressed from head to toe in fine threads; a beautiful mauve pantsuit was offset by golden embroidery, her feet donning intimidating heels. She pushed her tortoise specs up the bridge of her nose as she circled me; sizing me up or scrutinizing, I couldn't tell the difference. After what seemed like ages, she stopped in front of me, her lips fixed in a halfway smirk.

"So you're the one people around here have been going on about. You won't have to worry about a thing; you've made quite a name for yourself." I stilled at this, my mind racing. They knew already? They knew about Ryu and the smuggling?

"You'll make an awesome addition to the team!" Oh, she was referring to my new life.

I managed a smile, some of the tension dissipating. "I hope so. Um, I was told that I would be given a roommate and assigned to a partner today…"

Her eyes lit up as she looped her arm through mine and pulled me along. If it were a guy, I might have transformed. "Yes! How could I forget? You will be staying in the finest dormitory here. They just finished renovations last Thursday; impeccable timing on your part. When out in the field you will be addressed by your title Agent 014. Here, you can go by whatever name you want." She explained animatedly, dragging me into a glass elevator. Hitting the button for the third floor, the double doors slid shut, and we began moving.

"There are some rules that I need to go over with you. Rule 1; always have your partner's best interest in mind. Never neglect them or keep them in the dark about any aspect of a mission. Rule 2; no dating is allowed between partners. There have been too many issues with that in the past." The elevator dinged, and the doors reopened. Mine gestured for me to step out onto the linoleum. She walked beside me down the long hallway. There were windows on either side of us, a beautiful view of Tokyo and its city could be seen. I could even see New Leaf from here. That fact alone made me feel _a thousand_ times better.

"Rule 3; never blow your cover unless it is a life or death situation. Rule 4; do not tell anyone outside of your immediate family about your job. This rule is instilled for their protection." That rule was laughable. As if I had anyone to tell.

She stopped directly in front of a sky blue door. Rapping once, she turned the knob, and the door opened to a grand suite. There were two Queen Beds on separate sides of the room, the carpet was as purple as Mine's outfit, the walls were covered in a mural of a city skyline, and the rest of the space had been decked out with books, a TV, video game system, and a stereo.

My mouth dropped open at the sight of it all. I'd never once seen how the other half lived – my filthy rich cousins – but now I could never go back. Mine grinned, knowing how much all of this floored me.

"Over there is your roommate. Meet Isuzu Sohma." I tore my eyes away from the game system to see who she was. I instantly recognized her; the horse of the zodiac. Her raven tresses cascaded down her back and past her tiny waist, her skimpy clothes clung to her form, and her angry brown eyes were narrowed at me. I could already tell by her demeanor that we'd probably end up killing one another within the week.

"I'll let you get settled in before we enroll you at Kaibara. You took the entrance exam yes?" I bobbed my head, mute under the horse's penetrating gaze.

Mine was either oblivious to the tension or she plowed past it. "Oh, I almost forgot. Your partner is agent 005, Hatsuharu Sohma."

If I thought Rin looked hateful before, that wasn't anything compared to her expression now. Her eyebrows furrowed in rage, her nose scrunching, jaw set, and her teeth ground against one another.

Why do I get the feeling that Mine shouldn't have said that?

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed the first installment! :) Thank You for reading!**

 **I decided to post because of The High Queen Of Angst annnd because I'm working on the new chapter of Mirror, Mirror. I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing so, here we are :p**

 **I've never done an AU before so...I hope I did well. I've already planned about 12-13 chapters of this fanfic :D**

 **Anyways, I will see you all for Mirror, Mirror or the next chapter of Incognito. Baiii :3**


	2. Chapter 2: Game, Set, Match

**Chapter Two: Game, Set, Match**

After Mine exited, I was left to my devices with Horse Girl. The situation almost makes me laugh. These past few days have been _so_ much fun. First my foster parents disown me, I find out I have a creepy employer, _and_ my roommate looks like she's about to murder me. The only thing that would make this better is if my partner was some kind of lunatic.

The girl sat up, tucking her legs beneath her, and watched me carefully. She looked me up and down. I couldn't tell if she was sizing up her competition or if she thought I had the makings to become a formidable enemy.

I rolled my shoulders back and sucked in a breath to calm my nerves. I set my suitcase at my feet. "Look…Isuzu…"

"Don't call me that," she demanded darkly. "Unless you have a death wish." I was afraid she'd blow a gasket.

What was this chick's problem? She acted like my assignment was to make her life miserable. I wanted to pursue a lifelong dream of mine, not try and sabotage hers. Ever since my biological Mom deserted me, I've wanted to have a career like this. I wanted to do something where I could protect and defend, because I myself had been defenseless. After the partnership with Ryu fell through and he was arrested, I could finally get back to my original goal; becoming an agent. I trained as hard as I did to climb up in ranks at a quicker pace. But I also used training as a way to forget everything. To forget the person with shrapnel from one of my bullets lodged in their spine…the one I paralyzed for life.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" Rin was waving a hand in front of my eyes. It wasn't until then that I realized I'd zoned out. I shook my head to clear it and reached for the leather handle of my suitcase. "I'm sorry that you seem to have a problem with me. But if it will make you feel better, I'll ask if we can be reassigned."

She just stared at me dumbly. Her dark brown eyes bore into me for so long that I had to think back to what I said. I thought she'd jump at my suggestion. _This_ wasn't the reaction I expected.

Suddenly, she springs up, and snatches the suitcase from my hand. Before I have time to react, she wheels it in front of my bed, and releases the handle. With her back to me she says, "The daily schedule is on your nightstand. On the first day we bring new agents in, have a mixer to meet the partners we've been assigned, and get familiar with the staff…" not bothering to elaborate further, she steps into the bathroom, and shuts the door behind her.

So, she _didn't_ want me to leave? As I approach the nightstand I can't help but smile at this. I wasn't used to acceptance, even a small dose of it. This simple gesture was a welcome relief after all the stress I've been under.

Just as she said, there was my copy of the daily schedule.

 **Monday - Friday**

 _8 am: Breakfast_

 _9 am: Briefing_

 _10 am: School_

 _3 pm: Training/Assignments_

 _11 pm: Lights Out_

 **Saturday & Sunday**

 _9 am: Breakfast_

 _10 am: Briefing_

 _11 am: Training_

 _12 pm: Lunch_

 _1pm: Free Time_

 _12 am: Lights Out_

It was admittedly stricter than I was used to, even with the foster parents I had. But it didn't matter to me. I just wanted to get started. That's all I cared about and that's all I had left.

XxX

In an hour we were all required to meet up in the mess hall. There we would not only be introduced to our partners but the rest of the staff as well. At hearing I'd be meeting Intel; I looked forward to it and dreaded it all in the same instance.

I _wanted_ to learn from someone in intelligence and see how they operated. If something ever happened to me on the field – God forbid – I would have a backup plan that could keep me here. I preferred action over pushing papers – or buttons in this case – but it was better than doing nothing at all.

Although I try, I can't ignore the apprehension buzzing in the back of my mind. They could easily find out about me if I wasn't more careful. I had half a mind to go by a fake name to stay under the radar. But if they were as good as their reputation claimed…there would be no use in that.

I take the purple gem – attached to my choker – between my thumb and forefinger. It was the only piece I had to hold onto from my biological parents. It was something I kept when my Mom left me to fend for myself when I was three. After all of these years I never let go of it and I didn't even know why. Maybe I wanted to keep it should I look for them one day. Sure I could make good with Intel and find out who she is and where she lives now. I might be able to find out about my Dad too. But if I did, the childish fantasies I had would be crushed, and then I would be too. I came up with different scenarios to explain why they abandoned me. Like, they were actually superheroes and gave me up to keep me safe. As I grow older I know how stupid that is, but I convince myself its true anyway. It's better than what the actual truth might be.

A knock sounds from the door as Rin applies a coat of dark lipstick. "Agents 008 and 014, you are to report to the mess hall in five," a gruff voice orders from outside the door. I let go of the gem and turn towards Rin nervously.

She rolls her eyes at me in the mirror, twisting the tube, and capping it. "You should go. You're the newbie, not me."

I plop onto my bed and lean down to lace up my knee high converse. It was my favorite pair of shoes, but it took _forever_ to tie the laces. After three minutes, I bolted out the door, and hurried down the stairs. I should be punctual right? I didn't want to wreck their impression of me already.

I skid to a stop in front of the red double doors. I breathe in and breathe out, over and over until I'm calm enough. Well, here goes nothing. Stepping inside, the overwhelming noise of people talking and laughing washes over me, and beckons me forward. There were so many different people from different walks of life, all with similar goals. A man with a scar over his left eye was alternating between the cigarette pressed to his lips and the two men speaking to him. He was watching them with disinterest as he took a drag, exhaling smoke through his nose. The only thought running through my mind was the fact he was smoking inside. The irony of it, he was wearing a doctor's coat.

I was making a beeline for the fruit punch when one of the men intercepted me. He leaned into me and pinched my cheeks so hard I wanted to punch him in that pretty face of his. "What an exquisite creature," the man cooed. "I would love to dress you in the finest attire of my collection." Wait, this cross-dresser was the one that made the uniforms?

The doctor stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, yanking him backwards. "Ayame…did you not learn from the last three restraining orders?"

Ayame pouted and raked a hand through his long white locks. "That _was_ rather unfortunate. But like Gure' says…Que Sera, Sera." The flamboyant man chuckles before charging towards Mine. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman.

The doctor bows in apology before straightening. "Please excuse him; he has no concept of what personal space is." He says nothing more. Instead he trails after the cross-dresser to prevent a _fourth_ restraining order.

Based on the hand I've been dealt, it's no wonder I haven't sought out my cousins before now. I only knew of a few Sohmas; Akito, Rin, Yuki, and Kagura. I hadn't even heard of Ayame or the doctor until today.

I spooned a portion of fruit punch and poured it into my Styrofoam cup. I spun around to search for some food when I slammed into someone. The contents of my drink splashed them in the face and soaked their black shirt. "I'm _so_ sorry," I said hurriedly as I gathered together a bunch of napkins. "I didn't see you…are you okay?" The boy just watched me, his grey eyes fixated on mine. He said nothing, just listened to me ramble like an idiot.

He accepted my napkins and swiped at the red droplets in unnerving silence. It wasn't until now that I noticed his appearance. He had black and white hair – he's probably the cow – he was dressed from head to toe in black, and he had a ring on each finger, even his thumbs. My gaze dropped to his feet; intimidating boots with chains and buckles.

"Are you done checking me out?" he deadpanned, crumbling the damp napkins in his hand. Heat flooded my cheeks as our eyes met again. "N-No…I wasn't _checking_ you out…"

He snorted and tucked his hands into his pockets. "You didn't even apologize," he pretends to sulk, jutting his lip out in a pout.

I twist my purple gem and look elsewhere. "…sorry…"

I hear him exhale and look up. He has a teasing look in his eyes, even though he's trying to frown. "To make it up to me, you should take me somewhere."

My mouth must have hit the floor at his suggestion. Seriously? What was with my cousins? They were creepy, hostile, perky, or psycho. I don't even know if there is such a thing as a normal Sohma.

I cross my arms and stare him down. "Why should I?"

He smirks as he fiddles with his rings, never once breaking our staring contest. "You look like a girl that would know a good place to eat…" Was he calling me fat?

I think about the fact I haven't met everyone, then remember the weirdos that I have, and decide to take him up on it. "Fine, I'll take you to New Leaf. But if you diss _my_ diner, I will kick you in the balls."

XxX

I haven't decided if it was a good thing or bad thing that it was Sunday. Sunday meant that curfew wasn't until midnight, and that I could be out with what's-his-face until then. In all honesty, what his name was never even crossed my mind.

I took my place in my regular booth and the cow sat across from me. This sucks, I couldn't put my feet up this time. He picked up the sticky menu to find something to order; rookie mistake.

His eyes scanned the page for a few moments before they locked onto mine. "What do you recommend?" Since he insinuated I was fat earlier, I decided he deserved some sort of consequence. "I'd go with the dumplings. New Leaf is known for it."

He managed a small smile and bobbed his head in acknowledgement. "Thanks." Crap, now I felt guilty. I fiddled with the napkins for a while, not knowing what to say. "Planning another accident?" he asked, eyeing the napkins. I rolled my eyes and dropped my hands in my lap. He was never gonna let that go was he? Thankfully he decided to stop torturing me, and switched topics. "Who's your partner?"

I tilted my head in curiosity, wondering the same about him. "Um, Hatsu…something? Agent 005." I was only good with visual memorization, so I couldn't remember his name.

The cow sucked in his lip to stifle his laughter. He set the menu down with a weird look in his eyes. He extends his hand, and I stare down at the assortment of rings adorning them. "Nice to meet you, I'm Agent 005. It's _Hatsuharu_ by the way."

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed! :)**

 **Next chapter, the first mission will take place. It will take place during a Gala :D By the way, I'll try to abstain from changing this story's description. I've changed Mirror, Mirror's about...three times?**

 **I'm really enjoying this story! It's a nice break from the heavy tone of Mirror, Mirror. I love both for their different tones ;)**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: Well he could be many things :D I'm sure you would have guessed that eventually :p**

 **Kuramasgirl19769: Yay! ^_^ I'm glad you're not tired of my writing yet lol You've read the most of them out of all that review :) And ok! I look forward to it woman :D**

 **SweetLiars: Aww, this makes me feel sappy X.X But I'll allow it xD Thank You! Yeah, Rin and Mai will have an _interesting_ "friendship" thing lol**

 **See you all next chapter! Baiii :3**


	3. Chapter 3: You Are My Poison

**Chapter Three: You Are My Poison**

3 Years Ago…

"Do it. Come _on,_ what are you scared?" Ryu demanded from behind me, pressing the butt of his cigarette on the inside of his wrist. He always did that to snuff out its flame. He told me that pain was inevitable in life. So to increase your pain threshold, you should subject yourself to it often. His words never made sense to me, but he would always say I'd understand when I was older.

Now as a middle aged man is staring down the barrel of old reliable, I can't help but wonder about his pain threshold. When my bullet penetrates him, will he be able to take it? Had he experienced so much pain in life that he'd be able to withstand it…? Maybe this is what Ryu wanted. He wanted me to test that theory.

Time is at a standstill; the soon to be victim is trembling as much as my trigger finger. I mull over our situations, trying to buy myself time before I had to kill him. I wasn't ready to take away what he had. I never would be.

Both of our lives hang in the balance. He was knee deep in debt, I was following orders. He was 36, I was 13. He had a wife and two daughters to go home to; I had no one but my slave driver, Ryu.

Envy courses through me and surges through my veins like the adrenaline that kept me on my feet. Attentive. Alive. I let it happen. Ryu taught me to use my anger and bitterness as motivation. He said I didn't have the heart to kill, so I had to harden my heart.

Ryu knocks me upside the head. It startles me to the point that my finger slips and the gun fires off in the dark. "You idiot! Why are you taking so long with this bum? You think you're playing hero? Do you really believe you could save this man?"

My focus was torn between Ryu's reprimand and whether I accidentally killed the man before I was ready to. Ryu and I both pause; awaiting a reaction from the man…nothing.

I rush out to the center of the alley. The moonlight cuts across his body in a mesmerizing diagonal. But that wasn't what captivated me in that moment…it was the man I wounded. He lies on the gravel of the void the alley provided, his hazel eyes squinting at me. I knew he was in pain…I knew that I should have done everything in my power to get him help. But Ryu had other things on his mind.

I was yanked up by my elbow and dragged out of the void and under a streetlight. Ryu had me in a tight grip, his nails sinking into my flesh with a vengeance. "You hear that? The heat is onto us. If you'd just shot him the minute I told you to, we wouldn't be in this mess. Now that man can testify against you and me. He's seen our faces. If it weren't for the fact that you're out of ammo I'd finish the job myself."

As Ryu takes me with him, both of us fleeing into the night, I can't help but feel relieved. If it weren't for my failure to reload last night, that man would be dead.

Apparently the bullet ricocheted off the wall and hit him in the spine. He's paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life. I took away his future of having any more children. I stole his right to walk freely, and run like I was now. I ruined a function he never believed he'd lose…but, he was alive. His name is Haneul, he hails from Korea. He moved to Japan for a better life. I almost ended his.

XxX

"Nice to meet you, I'm Agent 005. It's _Hatsuharu_ by the way." I hoped that it was all a joke and that I _wasn't_ assigned to him. Say it isn't so!

I noticed Tohru finishing up with an order so I flagged her down. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. I see an opportunity, I take it.

Tohru bounced over, energy and remembrance flooding her bright blue eyes. This time she's holding the notepad without shaking. She must be getting the hang of it. Aw, they grow up so fast. "Hi! Welcome to New Leaf. Oh! Thank you for being so kind to me my first day on the job. I'm so sorry that I didn't get your name yesterday."

I waved that away and fiddled with my purple gem. "Don't sweat it. The name's Mai."

All of a sudden her eyes bug out. The notepad slaps against the floor as her hands fly to her mouth. "Oh my goodness! You're _the_ Mai Sohma." She attempts to regain her composure before bowing a million times. I just hoped the poor girl wouldn't get stuck like that.

"Mr. Hashima speaks so highly of you! He says you're his favorite customer."

Hatsuharu smirks in my direction. "His favorite customer huh? How did that happen? Did you spill a drink on him too?"

I roll my eyes, not bothering to take his bait. " _Actually,_ I'm his regular. His _only_ regular. Most people that step into this place never return…I'm the only one that has aside from the employees."

Tohru bends down to scoop up her notepad and retrieves her pencil. "So, what will it be for you both?" I repeat my order from yesterday and order Goth boy's tray of dumplings and soda on the rocks to wash it down. She bobs her head and dashes off towards the kitchen.

Hatsuharu tilts his head. "Why do you eat here if the food sucks?"

I glance at the analog clock hanging over the bar. _9:30_. "I'll keep it short and sweet because I'm not into _oversharing_."

He removes his thumb ring and slides it back on. Over and over. "How about we play a game then? That way, we both share, and neither of us has to forfeit too much."

I lean back into the vinyl, hating that my curiosity is getting the better of me once again. "Oh? What kind of game, exactly?"

His stormy eyes fill with mischief as the breadsticks arrive. I'd always loved the bright green tray they arrived in. The patterns are an ugly and tacky green. What's not to love?

"It's called 20 Questions. I ask you a question, you answer. Then you ask, and I answer. Simple enough."

I take a bite of the breadstick, and crumbs fall to the table. "Sounds fair. I'd like to go first though…what music are you into?"

He clasps his hands behind his head and a smile plays along his lips. Apparently it was a great question to ask. "Anything loud enough to blow out your headphones. Rock, Metal, Alternative..."

I grin, satisfied with his answer. "Yeah, I love anything with electric guitars. There's just something about its riffs and the way it tears through the music. It's a bold instrument. And it's beautiful."

He nods and leans forward to snag a breadstick of his own. "Guitar's cool, but I prefer the drums. Drums can draw you in instantly. Not to mention that keeping the rhythm is extremely difficult. I know from experience." Now I was _really_ interested.

"You play?"

He cringes as he scarfs down the rest of the breadstick. " _Played_. After three bleeding fingers and no progress, I realized it wasn't for me. But enough about me. My question for you…what is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?"

I couldn't help but laugh at the timing of his question. His tray of disgusting dumplings had just arrived. He breaks apart his chopsticks, still awaiting my answer.

"Okay...wait, can it be something I've eaten from here?"

He blanches as he forces himself to swallow the dumpling, and shakes his head before downing half of his soda.

"Fine then. I guess it would have to be Hawaiian Rolls and Ketchup. Two American delicacies that surprisingly go well together."

He set the glass down, his eyebrow quirked in curiosity. "Where were you that you tried American food?" Wow, nice going Mai. It's barely been a day and you almost blew it already. Thankfully it wasn't his turn.

"It's my turn to ask you a question…what made you decide to become a spy?"

Hatsuharu pushes his tray to the side and starts fiddling with his rings again. I've only know him for a little, but I've already picked up on one of his habits. He did that when he was deep in thought, or when he was distracted. His rings were like my necklace, they both served the same purpose.

His smile falters and his gaze slides to the sticky menu. "I wasn't able to protect someone…so I started learning self defense. Eventually, I wound up training under Kazuma, my sensei. He said that I had a lot of promise and personally recommended me for the agency. The one I wanted to protect became an agent too. We were also partners. We began dating and made a pact to help and defend eachother. We were dubbed as the spy couple, although we never labeled our relationship. And we both hated the name. We were together and I loved her…but things went wrong with us and eventually she asked that we be reassigned. So now, I'm partners with you this year instead of her…"

I didn't know what to say to that. How do you respond when someone tells you something like that? Something that hurts them. His eyes were filled with grievance and were growing darker the longer silence carried between us.

I took a sip from my malt and did the only thing I could think of; I flicked him in the forehead. His head snapped up in surprise, and he narrowed his eyes at me. "What was that for?"

I simply shrugged and broke apart my own chopsticks. "Well, pay attention or it'll happen again. It's your turn Moo Man."

XxX

I couldn't believe the amount of homework we had on the first day of school. Usually that would be a day of going over procedures and class rubrics. Apparently, Kaibara didn't work that way. As if that wasn't enough, there was a scheduling mistake. So I had to spend the entire first semseter in a parenting class...with Moo Man.

The only thing good thing about this day is what's coming next. My first assignment as an agent!

It took me ten minutes to find the conference room; our briefings and debriefings were held within these walls.

The room was filled with several other Sohmas, most already seated in one of the blue desk chairs. One was at the very front, standing at parade rest, and eyeballing me. Her brunette hair was in a careless bun, her grey eyes were as intriguing as her knee high boots. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was a soldier. But I knew her to be Kagura, the one whom assigned missions. If you wanted to stay on her good side and not be given low ranking tasks, steer clear of Kyo.

I took the only empty seat, right next to Yuki. A badge is pinned to the collar of his button up. _Yuki Sohma, Intelligence_. He offered a polite smile before refocusing his attention on Kagura.

"Alright! Listen up maggots! That includes you too Kyo!"

A growl sounds from somewhere in the room, but Kagura ignores it and continues. "Welcome to your first briefing. We usually hold them before school, but we decided to hold off for the first day. Based on your experiences in training and right here at the academy, we have hand picked your assignments." She sets a plastic box of gadgets onto the table, a bang erupting from the wood.

"Partners are also assigned a member of intelligence to aid them on a mission. Be sure to listen to them. They know a lot more than you its their job." She has the little girl sitting at the end of the table pass back ear pieces until everyone receives one.

"You will hear from your intel partner through these. Keep them on at all times unless you want to die. When we dismiss, you will be given your assignments and training instructions on your way out." Kagura prances to the front and raises her hand in a salute. "Order arms!"

Wow, this chick seriously thought she _was_ in the army.

"Dismissed!"

I sprung out of my seat and tried to contain my eagerness as I made my way for the door. I wonder what it'll be. Disabling a bomb? Guarding a government official? Retrieving a jewel?!

Probably not, its my first mission after all.

Before I could idealize further, a sheet of paper was slipped into my hands.

 **Mai Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma (Agent 014 and Agent 005)**

 **Intelligence Partner: Yuki Sohma**

 **Mission Details: You are to protect the Chief Commissioner during the police Gala tonight. The Gala begins at 8pm. You will be required to waltz and dress appropriately. Go to the training hall, your training instructor is Shigure Sohma (Agent 003) After you complete your training, report to Ayame Sohma (Agent 009) in Room 401 for your attire.**

 **Target: A man and woman. The man is said to be around 5"7" and has an eyepatch over his left eye. Other details on the man are unknown at this time. The woman is said to be blonde, tall, and has a fair complexion. She's rumored to be blue eyed and is part of a gang, formerly headed by The Red Butterfly.**

XxX

I didn't know what to expect with this Shigure guy. But if he was anything like Ayame, training was bound to be a hot mess.

Other groups had already begun their training in separate sectors of the gymnasium. The doctor was teaching a dark haired girl how to treat wounds. She looked to be the same age as Tohru. Her eyes were a rich purple, the beauty of them rivaled my amethyst gem. Her black hair spilled over her shoulders in waves, and she was dressed in all black. I'm sure she'd get along with Moo Man just fine.

Hatsuharu walked in at that exact moment. He scanned the room until his eyes landed on me and started for my direction. Judging by his slow strides and disinterest in where he was going, I knew that we were different. I wasn't the type to go with the flow and roll with the punches. But, I didn't like being around uptight people either. If he was as laid-back as I thought he was, maybe our partnership wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Alright children! It is time to commence your training!" A man with short black hair and eyes just as dark charged towards us. I could see his grin from a mile away, but it didn't seem to be an endearing one...if I saw him on the street, I would have written him off as a pedo.

"Hello Haru. Who's this lovely flower you have here?" He elbowed 'Haru' in the ribs and chuckled. "A highschool girl! You're a man after my own heart aren't you?" The pervert swiveled towards me and drew me in for a hug. If he was trying to cop a feel, I'd make sure he slept in a hospital bed tonight.

He jerked back, holding me at arms length. "She's so beautiful. The golden flecks in her eyes...I could just drown in that sea of amber. Couldn't you Haru?"

Haru rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. "Sensei, we need to get started. You can feel her up later."

What?!

I rolled up my sleeves, preparing to knock both of them into last week. Haru turned towards me, his expression blank. "I'm kidding. But we really should get started. We only have a short amount of time left before the Gala."

Shigure finally sobered up and nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. Since it is a Gala, there will be fine dining and dancing. Are you both familiar with the dining etiquette?"

Haru and I exchanged confused glances. I simply shrugged in answer.

"Right...well. We'll come back to that then. Do either of you know how to waltz? Ballroom dance?" Again neither of us knew anything about that.

Shigure stroked his chin in thought. "I have my work cut out for me then," he said, clapping his hands. "Alright! We'll start with dancing. Both of you turn so that you face each other. Haru, place your hands on her waist. Mai, you place your hands on his shoulders. And there's no need to be fear closeness. The passion between two people is-"

"Stop it Sensei," Haru cut in, his hands moving to my waist. "We're on a time constraint remember?"

After half an hour of getting Shigure to be serious, Haru stepping on my feet, and bonking heads a dozen times, it was time to start getting ready. I could only hope that we wouldn't have to dance too much.

XxX

Ayame drew the tip of the tape measure to the length of my arms. Then he measured from my head to my feet, then at the waist. He removed the pencil clenched between his teeth and jotted down my measurements. "Wonderful! I haven't designed for an hour glass figure before. This will be magnificent! AHAHAHAHOHO!" He searched the racks for dresses while I searched my handbag for an aspirin. After spending an hour with the snake, I had a head splitting migraine. But...I would be embarking on my first mission. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made.

"Ah! I found the perfect dress." He retrieved it and slid the others back into place. Holding it up to me, he beamed like a proud Father. "And it compliments your skin tone just as well. You could pull off any look my dear, what a gift that is. At first I thought you might have been a summer, but you're all of the above!" Before I had a chance to take in his selection, he shoved me into the changing room. "Now you go try that on and I'll get Haru!"

He slid the red velvet curtain closed. The rings clinking against the golden rod seem to exacerbate my headache. Well at least it would be over soon...

I slipped into the dress and did my best to zip up the back. I didn't look until I was out of my street clothes and changed into a pair of red bottoms Ayame lent me. Looking at my reflection, I couldn't stop staring...Ayame might have been a weirdo, but he was a fashion genius!

The dress was a formfitting sheath of black and white. The stitching and embroidery were both intricate as if the work of careful hands. The way the dress had been designed, it made movements easy, and it helped me hide the gun holster strapped to my leg. I knew exactly which gun I'd use...old reliable. A.K.A. My favorite revolver.

Approaching footfalls sounded from just outside the changing room.

"Haru will be in soon...I must say that I'm rather curious. Are there any potential suitors lined up for a maiden such as yourself?"

I ran the palm of my hand across the purple gem stone and took it between my thumb and forefinger. I'd never been asked this question. Not a single time since my foster family left me...my Foster Dad asked if I had a boyfriend once. My answer remained unchanged.

"No...I've never had a boyfriend..." I knew how dejected I sounded, but it didn't matter. Why hide what I felt? I believed that I'd been missing out on something. After hearing stories about girls and their crushes or significant others...I can't help but feel left out. No one ever asked me out or really gave me a second look.

"I find that hard to believe darling. A tall glass of water like you shouldn't go to waste. What about Haru?"

The gem slipped out of my hand and swung back and forth like a pendulum. "No! I just met him a day ago! Besides...I couldn't see myself dating him. Sure he's interesting and he has this air of mystery about him that I like...I admire that he doesn't try to hide who he is. But in no way would I ever date him. You should know better than me, partners aren't allowed to date each other."

He clucked his tongue and moved the curtains back. "Ah forbidden love. What great fun it is. Especially in your youth. Anyway, there are loopholes and ways around everything dear. You'll see. Love is a bond that is nearly impossible to break."

Thankfully Haru arrived before he could say anything more. And wow...did he clean up good. I even told him as much.

"Thanks Mai. Don't worry, I brought some napkins just in case." And once again...he killed it.

"You look pretty," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Eat your heart out," I threw back with a wink.

"Ooh, what a saucy little minx!" Ayame placed a hand on his hip, and poked Haru in the forehead with his other. "And of course Haru! It's my duty to make sure that _everyone_ placed in my hands is dressed to the nines. I make everyone look their absolute best. Run along now...it's time for you both to head out to the Gala. Tell the Commissioner 'hi' for me."

XxX

"Are you sure you know how to drive?" Haru yelled over the sound of the car tiles squealing.

I pressed down on the gas and checked the mirrors simultaneously. "I may or may not have failed my driver's test...three times. But I passed the fourth!"

Haru clamped a hand over his mouth as he paled. "They probably wanted to stop you from coming back and killing them."

I put the car in park and smacked him upside the head. "Well, we're here. And in one piece. So there!"

He glanced out the window and sighed. "After hitting the curb two times."

XxX

I looped my arm through Haru's and smiled at the Maitre-D in greeting. "One table for a party of two. We're on the guest list of Commissioner Mori."

He ran his finger down the reservation list and squinted. "You must be Kokoro and Misaki? Right this way." We followed him to a table adjacent to the Commissioner's. I was honestly surprised it was _that_ easy. Haru pulled out a chair for me, and I pecked him on the cheek. "Thanks sweetie." He looked taken aback by my actions but quickly recovered with a smile of his own.

When I was sure the Maitre-D was out of earshot, I leaned in to Haru. "We're undercover as a couple. We're both in our early twenties and are giving our congratulations to the Commissioner for his promotion. That's our cover anyway. Shouldn't you know this?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, and grinned sheepishly. "I was kinda in the bathroom at the time..." Nice Moo Man...nice.

I searched the room for any sign of our two targets. The crowd was a sea of brunettes and grey hair. I noticed one salt and pepper every now and then. I felt a light tap on my shoulder and looked in Haru's direction. "You see them over there?" He whispered, pointing to a couple by the door. They both seemed to fit the description. A slender, tall, blonde woman and a man with an eyepatch.

I took a sip from my glass of water. "So, what's the plan?"

"When the dancing begins, you can ask the commissioner to dance. I'll handle those two." He attempted to get up, but I grabbed him by the arm, and yanked him back into his seat. "No. If we do this, we do this together."

After the toast concluded, the dancing began, and I rose from my seat. "Come on honey, it's been too long since we've last danced together," I offered my hand, slipping back into character. Haru took my hand in his and drew me out to the dance floor. I placed my hands on his shoulders and his hands found my hips, just like we practiced. He kept his eyes trained on our feet, watching so he wouldn't step on mine. We danced in a square, while I kept an eye on the targets. I pressed myself against him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Okay...the plan is for you to invite the blonde to dance, and I'll get a hold of the pirate wannabe. That way we can lure the targets away from everyone else before someone dies."

Haru nodded. "That should work...you have your lipstick on you?"

I smirked against his shoulder. "Of course." We danced our way across the dining hall, gradually inching our way towards the couple. My ear piece buzzed slightly, and Yuki's voice crackled to life. "We have new information on the targets. The man goes by the name of Kureno Sohma. He was one of our own before he went rogue. Apparently he fled with the woman he eloped with, and she turned him to a life of crime. The blonde is Arisa Uotoni, although she has several aliases. She's known as the Yankee by most. They're expected to be armed and dangerous. I recommend that you subdue them as quickly and inconspicuously as possible."

I looked up to check if Haru heard the instructions. He gave a slight nod of the head before letting me go and maneuvering throw the crowd. I followed suit and pushed through the spectators until I was directly in front of Kureno. He peered down at me with his right eye, bringing a cup of scotch to his lips. "Can I help you?"

 _I have to get him to dance with me somehow...but how..._

I bit my lip and twirled the end of my hair. "I couldn't help but notice that you're not dancing...I'm surprised you don't have a girl on each arm."

He scoffed and knocked back the rest of his drink. "I'm flattered. Really. But I'm married."

 _Think of something..._

I stepped forward and batted my eyelashes. _I bet I look like an idiot._ "I promise I won't tell her. What do you say we skip this and go somewhere private for a little while?" He watched me in unerving silence and set his glass down on the table behind him. With a nod of the head, he started for the doors. I guess I was expected to follow.

I checked over my shoulder to see how Haru was doing. Apparently the blonde didn't mind dancing with someone other than her husband. I just hoped Haru could finish the task without any hiccups.

I trailed after Kureno until we stood directly outside a supply closet. He checked to see if the coast was clear before turning the knob. The door swung open to reveal a span of darkness. He stepped inside and pulled me along with him, shutting the door behind us.

He shoved me into what felt like a shelf and his mouth found mine, even under the veil of dark that shrouded us. Great, my first kiss was with a criminal. How fitting. He pulled back for a few seconds, his breath hot on my face as he said, "I know you know who I am...I know you want to take me out. But what you _don't_ know is that I have poison darts. Even though you do have that lipstick of yours that works the same way, I wouldn't be so quick to use it if I were you."

How did he know all that?!

"So I'll give you a choice...you either try something and I kill you...or, you let me go free and neither of us dies. And do think quickly, my wife's out there with your partner. And guess what? I don't like that one bit. You have five seconds."

Oh crap. What do I do? Think Mai, think!

"Five...four...three..."

He knew about the lipstick. Wait! There was one thing he didn't know about.

"Two...one...time's up."

Before he could say anything more, his words were cut short. I guess it was a good thing I didn't go with old reliable today...but a silencer instead.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked this chapter! :) I loved writing it :D**

 **Kuramasgirl19769: Awesome :D And yup! I saw ^_^**

 **SweetLiars: Aww :'D I know she's probably tired of hearing it, but that's a huge compliment! ^.^ I love her writing. Plus she's just an awesome person in general :) That's amazing too, since I love Haru so much! And I hope this chapter answered your question. All Sohmas are an agent of some sort :)**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: They're always fun to write for :D Wha-? I was hoping he wasn't OOC or anything. I'm glad he isn't! Thank you Queenie! :3**

 **See ya'll for chapter four! The mission will be taking place on a train. Let's just say...it's pretty bomb ;) Mwahahaha! Baiii :3**


	4. Chapter 4: Strangers On A Train

**Chapter Four: Strangers On A Train (Bombs Away)**

His body hit the floor with a thump, landing directly at my feet. For a moment I considered killing the rogue agent. After all, he did betray an entire organization that I now belonged to. Not only was it his co-workers, but his own family. But in those five seconds that he gave me, I couldn't quell the surge of compassion I felt towards him. I wasn't innocent so I had no right to execute judgement on someone else. Even though I didn't struggle with taking a life as much as I used to at thirteen, I didn't kill for the heck of it. Every life should be valued, even a criminal's. I slipped my gun back in its holster and turned on my ear piece. "Target A has been neutralized. I repeat, he has been neutralized and I will be bringing him into custody for questioning." For a moment there was silence on the other end. My heart sped up at the thought of Haru failing. Judging by his lack of response, he might have. He had a year of experience in the field that I didn't. But things do happen. Just as my panicking hit a crescendo, he replied. "Awesome job…Agent 014. I managed to apprehend blondie too. Let's hurry up and cuff them so we can get out of here." I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. It was even better because he didn't seem to be the expressive type "Aw, glad that it's another job well done? Even with a rookie like little old me?"

"No. Actually, I just want to get something to eat." I rolled my eyes at this and bent down to scoop up Kureno. I guess I owe Ayane for forcing me to strength train last year. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pick him up. Haru would never let me live _that_ one down.

I threw Kureno over my shoulder fireman style and pried the door open with my free hand. "So Moo Man, what do you have in mind? Since you're hungry and all."

"I was thinking about getting something from New Leaf. But Mai, do me a favor?"

My lips twitched with a smile as I made my way down the hallway. "Yes?"

"Promise me that I'll never have to eat dumplings like that again. I don't think I could put my stomach through that a second time."

XxX

After the debriefing, Yuki, Haru, and I all bustled down to New Leaf to celebrate a successful first mission. We all took our seats in my usual booth and I searched the room for any sign of Tohru. She must have been off today because a different waitress rushed over to take our orders. Although I'm positive making tips isn't what makes her eager enough to hurry over. Unfortunately, I knew enough about her to _not_ like her. She went by the name Foxy and her greatest ambition in life was to be a stripper. I didn't dislike her because of that. But because she was arrogant enough to say that men will fight tooth and nail just to get a glimpse at her body. Sure she was a gorgeous, fiery, red-head, but she was only nice around guys. If you're a girl, she's as cold as ice.

Foxy adjusted her top so her cleavage showed and placed her hands on the table, leaning towards Yuki and Haru. "Hi boys. Do ya'll stop around New Leaf often?" I took a sip of water and tried to not gag at how obvious she was. Someone needed to teach this chick how to be subtle. Well, maybe she left that at the door with her dignity.

Haru blinked at her disinterestedly and shrugged. "I go wherever my feet lead me."

I snorted and swiped my mouth with my jacket sleeve. "Wow Moo Man, I had no idea you were such a poetic soul. I learn something new about you everyday."

Foxy glowered at me before her brown eyes darted to Yuki. "You seem awfully quiet...not that it's bad. I've always had a thing for the strong and silent types. You have a girlfriend?" Yuki ducked his head slightly, and retrieved a menu to hide his slightly pink cheeks. "Uh, no actually. I hope you don't mind my asking, but what exactly is the house special?"

The shameless redhead straightened and her lips lifted into a coy smile. "Would you like it if _I_ were the house special?" Before he has time to react, she swayed her hips and plopped herself into his lap, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Yuki jumped and attempted inching away from her. If the ditz keeps it up, he'll transform.

Haru waved his menu in her face. "I'm not sure if you know this, but people usually come here to eat...not to be hit on."

I smirked and crossed my arms. "Yeah _Foxy_. But if you keep harassing customers, I'm sure I can put in a word with Mr Hashima about a potential demotion. He kind of has a soft spot for me."

Foxy shot a dark glare my way before climbing off Yuki's lap. She smoothed out her apron and retrieved her notepad. "What'll it be?" She droned, a newfound lack of interest seeping into her tone.

XxX

After our food arrived and we dug in, I decided to tease Yuki a little. "What was it like to have a future stripper take interest in you? I must say I'm curious. And how could I forget? She sat in your lap free of charge. _Do_ tell."

Yuki sawed his Hamburger Steak with a knife and fork, before taking a bite with practiced elegance. "I would greatly appreciate if that moment never left this room."

Haru folded his hands behind his head and sunk further into his seat. "And to think, I missed my shot with her," he deadpanned, his eyes flitting in her direction.

I cringed at the visual. "I'd be careful if I were you...unless you want an STD before you're 17."

Haru stretched his arms and his biceps rippled with the action. "But it could have been quite the experience for her."

I was sure I'd regret asking. But- "What do you mean by that?"

Haru's eyes darkened a fraction as he leaned in, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You do know that I have two sides."

I bobbed my head and ate another forkful of Yakitori. "Yeah. So?"

" _So_ , that also applies between the sheets. When I'm white I tend to be _slower_ and more _passionate._ I take my time to make sure the lady is comfortable and that she learns what the definition of making love _really_ is."

I gulped at his words. It wasn't until now that his shift in personality dawned on me.

"But... **when I'm black Haru, I can be more rough. To put it gently."**

Yuki choked on his meal and took a frantic swig of his milk. "Haru..."

Haru heaved a sigh and shoved his plate aside. **"Don't worry, I wasn't gonna try anything with her. Not unless she wanted me to...I bet I could show her a real good time."**

What the heck set him off? He was fine just a moment ago. Foxy was irritating - no doubt about that - but I didn't see why that would bring out Black Haru.

Before he _could_ try anything, I dumped my half full glass of water onto his head. He blinked in surprise as water dribbled from his hair and down his cheeks. His shirt dripped onto the vinyl as he watched me with empty grey eyes. I was a little worried that he'd end me for trying such a thing, but instead he reached for a bunch of napkins and halfheartedly dabbed at himself. "When I said you were planning another accident, I was kidding..."

The remainder of the night consisted of small talk and silence. None of us were willing to address the Black Haru elephant in the room. I didn't know or understand why he was so upset. But I had a pretty good idea that it had something to do with Rin. And maybe, just maybe, Foxy reminded him of her in some twisted way.

XxX

I filed into the classroom and took my seat next to Haru. In Parenting 101, the classroom set up wasn't what you'd call conventional. The desks were arranged in cockeyed patterns and scattered throughout the room. Two blue plastic chairs belonged to each table; set up for the sole purpose of pairing off. Our class consisted of an even number of males and females. There was a total of nine boys and nine girls. Our teacher on the other hand was a complete fruitcake. I didn't care for gossip, but word on the street is that she's a tree hugger and a cat lady. If my source is correct, she has five cats, and the number is increasing every year.

Haru crosses his legs and squints at the writing on the dry erase board. _I Thee Wed_. We exchanged confused glances, both of us wondering what that could even mean.

It wasn't long before the bell rang and our loony instructor walked in. Her unkempt brunette locks were lanky and greasily clinging to her collarbone. She was dressed from head to toe in pea green. Her bright green eyes scanned the room, the youthful brightness to them shining on us. After a few more moments of surveying, she climbed atop her desk and sat cross-legged. "Hello lovely humans of Earth. I hope you all enjoyed your first day of school. As you can probably tell, I haven't showered since yesterday and am even wearing the same clothes." The room erupted in disgusted and confused murmurs before she shushed them with her gravelly voice.

"I did a lot of research yesterday. Did you know we can reserve a lot of water by cutting back on showers and our laundry? The less we wash clothes, the less water is used. You should all try it some time."

A sophomore in front of us quipped, "Ugh, pass. Who hired this hippy anyway? She has to breaking some kind of code walking in here like that."

"But that isn't what you're here for. At least, not today. As you all may have noticed, on the board I have written the title of your assignment. You will all be acting as married couples for the entirety of this semester." The room once again broke out in chatter and she silenced them again. "You and your spouse will be required to care for a baby simulator for the entire semester as well. Both of you will hand in a detailed report at the very end of the term. In it should include: your feelings, a rating of your partner's performance, how difficult it was, what you learned, and whether it made you more responsible and practical."

A wise guy up front inquired, "Do we actually get to live together? And, sleep together?"

I suddenly had the urge to smack my head on the table. Weird.

Ms. Kondo shook her head. "No...but you will both be required to alternate caring for your child. Whatever schedule you'll have to work out amongst yourselves. You could trade off after a week, after two days, every other week. It's completely up to you. in this class, you're considered adults. One of you needs to receive your child, and the other your set of instructions."

Haru volunteered to get the "baby" and I groaned inwardly as I thought about what was to come. Haru and I were civil with one another, but pretending to be married was a whole other discussion. Not to mention juggling our duties as a spy _and_ adding this on top of all of it. We already had a mission after school. We had to be at the train station no later than four. Lugging a doll around would only slow us down.

Haru plopped down beside me, setting the baby and it's carrier onto the table in front of us. The doll had these creepy murder-you-in-your-sleep eyes, glassy, and a faded blue. Honestly, I would have preferred doing the empathy belly exercise over this project.

"Look...he has your eyes," Haru joshed, fiddling with his rings.

"Yeah, absouletely. His blue eyes match my light brown perfectly."

Haru smirked, "Glad you agree...so, what will our arrangement be?"

I shrugged and toyed with my necklace. "You know we live in the academy...right?"

He scoffed and extended a finger, tentatively poking at the doll, as if he might bite off said finger. Speaking of which, who decided that thing was a boy anyway?

"Yeah but we're in separate dormitories. How about I take the first four days of every week, and you get the last three."

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. "What's the catch? You're getting one day more than I do."

He looked back at me, his finger stilling on the doll's nose. "There is no catch...I just thought it was the least I could do. Especially after I turned black yesterday. I'm sorry that happened." So, he addressed it. I didn't mind that he lost it for a bit. At least, not much. What I did mind was the fact that he was angry about something in the first place. Being partners, I cared for him. After yesterday, I gave myself a mission. To cheer him up and keep that frown off his face as much as possible. It was the least _I_ could do as his teammate.

I flicked him in the forehead like the day we met and smiled. "We're cool. Don't worry about it."

A slip of paper on the edge of the table caught my eye. It was our Simulator Care Instruction sheet. I didn't even notice he picked up both.

 **Congratulations On Your Newborn**

 **With a baby comes responsibility. Even a simulated doll should be handled with care.**

 **The baby requires food and diaper changes, burps and sleep, nurturing and supervision. With your baby comes a plastic purple or blue spoon. A magnet on the bottom of it responds to your baby and will act as an actual feeding. You have to feed the baby for a certain amount of time and a certain frequency of times. To change its diaper, use the cloth provided to snap and unsnap it as needed. Pat the baby's back lightly to burp it. Make sure to lay your doll down for a certain period of time so that it can get its proper rest. Sleep is necessary, especially for your child.**

 **Remember, your baby will cry if not properly cared for. There is a monitor built into your doll that informs your instructor of your progress. Don't shake your baby, leave them unattended for too long, abuse them in any way.**

 **I wish you the utmost success and look forward to your documentation at the end of the term. Each day in class we will learn different parenting techniques and how to properly raise children as they grow and mature.**

 **Have fun!**

XxX

"Come to Papa," Shigure lifted the baby of his confines and cradled it. I was actually taken aback at how much of a natural the pervert seemed to be. He supported the head and his other arm was placed delicately beneath his back.

I helped Haru straighten his black tie - part of his costume - and ordered him to not loosen it for the billionth time. We were about to embark on our mission and we needed someone to make sure the doll didn't die. At least until we got back. So, Shigure was on babysitting duty.

"My, my, my. You two sure didn't waste time getting busy. Hey Mai, do you get to breastfeed? If so, can I watch?"

I released Haru's tie before stalking over to Shigure. "It would be kind of hard to watch with a black eye...wouldn't it, _Sensei?_ "

He paled and stroked the doll's plastic head. "Haru, your woman is so cruel. Just how do you put up with such a feisty creature?"

I was about to smack him when Haru grabbed my wrist and spun me towards him. "We should be going now. And Sensei?"

Shigure beamed at Haru, holding the baby in front of his body like a shield. "Yes?"

"Make sure to follow the instructions to the letter. I can't afford to pay for your funeral if anything goes wrong with our assignment. With Mai's temper, I'd advise you to protect him with your life."

Shigure nodded aggressively, his dark eyes dilating slightly. "Roger that. He is in the most capable hands possible. Aya promised to help out too. By the way, what did you two decide to name him?"

I peered at Haru who in turn shrugged in answer. I spun on my heel to face Shigure once again. "I don't know. We didn't really think about it. Tell you what, if you do a good job babysitting...you get to name him."

Shigure bounced on his heels and his eyes glimmered with inspiration. "Oh what an honor! I-"

"But no perverted names. Got it?"

His smile faltered and he huffed, shifting the doll in his arms. "That _is_ a bit disappointing. But never the less, I look forward to it. Have fun you two! Oh. And make sure you don't blow up in the process."

XxX

Haru and I gave our tickets to the blue clad conductor before stepping aboard the train. It was one of the older and more outdated models. The train consisted of eight cars; dining, a caboose, the engine area, and of course bedrooms. Yuki was our regular intel partner and he informed us of our task on the way to _Blooming Lotus Station_. We were undercover as two wealthy, elite, people boarding a train to the next town over for a highly classified transfer. Hence Haru's suit and tie and my blazer/skirt combo. It is believed that two women have been planning a terrorist attack for some time. Their target is one of the four trains that go in and out of Tokyo because of two specific clients on them. Because we didn't know whom the clients were, we have two agents on each train, searching for a bomb.

We entered the dining car and observed the area. Elderly and wealthy patrons dominated the room. Floppy hats with feathers and elbow patches were the norm. If I didn't know any better I'd think we were transported back in time to a different era. Everyone seemed occupied with their own activities. Their eyes were glued to books or their phone screens. The victims could be any one of them. They were all rich. Maybe they played dirty to get ahead, and now it was time to pay the piper. But whichever the way the sword falls, I hope we can catch it in time.

I took a seat adjacent to a younger woman whom was engrossed in an old American novel; Jane Eyre. She seemed to only have one duffel at her feet. It was a brown and pink plaid pattern with a hot pink handle. She didn't seem sketchy. In fact, she seemed pretty normal. But then again, killers and sociopaths appear normal until they reveal their true colors.

I noticed a wedding ring on her left hand and a name written along the edge of her thumb. Hashi. Maybe it was her husband? When I looked up, Haru was already chatting away with a gruff looking man, but the conversation seemed to be going smoothly. I decided upon another method. I rummaged into my pocket and retrieved my pen. Glancing up at the distracted woman, I let the pen slip from my hand and it clattered to the floor. I plastered on a sheepish smile before bending down. "Sorry...I'm quite the klutz." The woman just brushed it off before returning to her book.

I took the opportunity to grab my pen and click it. Little did she know, it worked as an x-ray, and I could easily see what was in her bag. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. At least, nothing that would mark a terrorist. There was only a picture of her husband, a walkman, a camera, a wallet, and a spare change of tennis shoes. No bomb, wires, detonator...nothing useful.

I got to my feet to see Haru shaking the man's hand. He rose from his seat and beckoned me over with a nod of his head. I followed Haru into the next train car and down a narrow hallway outside of the bedrooms, opening to another train car. "Um, where are we going...exactly?"

"We're heading to the engine room. The man I talked to pointed out where it was. I noticed the train tickets sticking out of his suitcase. I had a hunch that he traveled by train a lot and that he might no where it is. Its probably our best bet for finding the bomb if its here at all. How did things go with that woman?"

I sighed, "Not as fruitful as I would have liked. She had nothing important in her bag. Do you think-"

Suddenly, our earpieces crackled. Yuki. "Agents 005 and 014, we've found information on the clients. One is indeed on your train. The other is on the same train as Agents 013 and 002; Kyo and Ritsu. I know it isn't a comforting thought that a whole train of people rests in that baka neko's hands. But at least Ritsu is holding up...somewhat. Anyway, we believe this is an imitation of Alfred Hitchcock's _Strangers On A Train._ In that movie, two men agree to exchange and complete the other persons murder. In this case, two women have agreed to kill the other's husband for them. One they're after is a man that travels by train often. He's in his 70's and has a goatee. His eyes are hazel and he is said to be portly. Have either of you seen him?"

I looked up at Haru and he looked at me. Yup, he was thinking what I was thinking. It was pretty ironic. The man that pointed out the location of the engine rooms, might have just saved his own life. Well, if we can get to the bomb and disable it in time.

Haru turned his mic on as we passed through the second to last train car. "Yes. He gave us the directions on how to get to the front of train. Do you have any info on the bomb? What it looks like? Where we might find it? Whether it is activated by a switch or a remote detonator?"

"The bomb is a standard homemade one. But it's explosive enough to level the entire train and where its headed. The train is intended to go off as soon as it comes to a stop at its destination. Your task is to disable it before that happens."

I swallowed thickly before asking, "How long is that...? Exactly?"

There was a painful minute of silence before Yuki spoke again. "One hour...both have one hour to deactivate it. And only one of you has done something like this before. Hopefully that one experience will be in your favor and it will be a success. There are three red wires. They were smart enough to not make them distinguishable colors. Once you locate it, take your pliers and snip the correct wire. Haru, I want you to take the lead on this one. You're the only one certified with this sort of thing. Mai hasn't taken a class on it yet."

Haru nodded, and grunted in answer.

"You have to ensure the blasting cap doesn't have a chance to be activated. It might have a vibration sensor as well. Can we count on you?"

The moment he asked the question, we entered the engine room. Haru reached for my hand and squeezed it in reassurance. "Yes. Mai and I- I mean...Agent 014 and I can do it. I believe it."

"That's what I like to hear. Get back to us safe. I just received word that the idiot and Ritsu succeeded. But the bomb they had was wired differently than the one you're dealing with. I hope their success will give you hope to cling to. We'll talk later. Goodbye."

"Goodbye," I echoed softly.

The conductor glanced over his shoulder and his eyes bugged out. "What? You're not authorized to be up here! Get back to your seats."

Haru stepped forward, his stormy eyes blazing. "Sir, if we _get_ _back to our seats_ , it won't be long before there's nothing to get back to. There is an explosive device believed to be in this room. So unless you let us do our job, we'll die. Is that a good enough reason for you?"

I bit my lip, anxiously awaiting the conductor's reaction. The shell shocked engineer reverted his attention in front of him. "Carry on," he squeaked.

Haru and I scrambled around the room in search of the bomb. We searched high and low, left and right, to come up empty. I felt myself beginning to clam up as my watch counted down the minutes. We already had just 51 minutes left. The end was rapidly approaching. Not only did we need to find it, but we needed enough time to figure out the wiring mechanisms on top of that!

Just as I was beginning to lose it, Haru rushed to the conductor's side. "Do you have any panels that open? Screwdriver needed or otherwise?"

The conductor scratched at his head in thought. After an agonizing two minutes, he lit up, and bobbed his head. "Y-Yes! Right over there. There's a certain passcode."

Haru looked around until he found what the man was referring to. "Ok. What is the passcode?"

The man slid his hat off and set it in front of him. "We're not supposed to give that out to passengers."

That's it. I've had enough of this man's stupidity. I gained on him in seconds and snatched him up by the collar. "We're not gonna ask you again. What is the passcode? If you don't tell us you'll be responsible for over fifty deaths, not including your own. And yours might not be so far away if you keep being difficult."

"Alright scary lady...its Cutie Patootie." Um...

I released my hold on him and joined Haru at the panels. He punched in the password and much to our relief, the panel opened, and inside was the bomb. We found it with 45 minutes to spare!

Haru dabbed at the sweat trickling down his forehead with the collar of his shirt and analyzed the bomb. It did in fact have red wires, but it didn't have a clock on it. We just had to go with the assumption that it would still go off once the train reached its destination.

"Any idea which one it could be?" He rummaged through his pocket for his pliers - with ironically red handles - and he gripped it in his fist.

"Not sure...If I had to guess, I'd say it were one of the two connected to the base. The third one looks like a fluke as far as disabling it is concerned."

I offered a smile. "That's good. Using process of elimination. Now you have a fifty fifty chance of getting it right."

His knuckles turned white as his grip tightened. "But what if I get it wrong. What if-"

I forced him to face me by placing a finger beneath his chin, and directing his eyes on me. "Don't say that. You're certified. You've done it before and you can do it again. You have 42 minutes left to figure it out. Take a little time to think it over..."

Haru inhaled sharply before exhaling. He did this a few times before leaning over the panel, and narrowing his eyes at the device. I could only hope that he was just figuring out and not cracking under the pressure.

He drew a trembling hand to the wire to the far left before dropping it at his side. _Don't second guess yourself._

It wasn't until we had 35 minutes left that he mustered the courage to lift his hand again. I held my breath as he was nearing the same wire as before. He opened and closed his pliers as he closed in on it. His hand stilled a breath away from the wire, shaking as it hovered just above it.

I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed. I know he can do this. I know he has the wisdom and that he will choose the right one.

Then, I heard it. The snip of the wire.

Time stood still...we were both too shocked to realize...we were still alive.

He did it! Mission accomplished.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed! ^_^**

 **Sorry for taking so long with it. I know Mirror, Mirror needs to be updated too ;) There are only two chapters of that left.**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: That sounds so...like you xD Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :)**

 **Kuramasgirl19769: I love creating suspense :p Indeed, Shigure is a master perv :D**

 **SweetLiars: I thought about going with your idea. But, I love your interpretation. Even though she only crippled him, you're right about her not being so afraid to do it. But I love using flashbacks as a way to add layers to the characters and add on to the story.**

 **You guy's will meet the rest of the Sohmas with time ^.^ Also, Rin will be brought back onto the scene soon enough.**

 **Thanks for reading and see you guys next chapter! Baiiii :3**


	5. Chapter 5: Acrobatic Aspirations

**Double mission this chapter! ^_^**

 **Chapter Five: Acrobatic Aspirations**

Two Nights Ago...

I simply shrugged and broke apart my chopsticks. "Well, pay attention or it'll happen again. Its your turn Moo Man." I recognized the sadness in his eyes. It was the same devastation and agony I'd seen in my own years ago. I was still a little girl at heart, wondering why my parents didn't love me. Imagining what they were like and why they gave me away. Sometimes I would have nightmares. My Foster Dad would hurry to my rescue to hold me until the fear fled and I could sleep again. Even though my Foster Dad _thought_ he chased the fear away, he never did. I pretended to feel better so he could get more rest. It was my way of apologizing for waking him in the first place. But every time I forced myself back to sleep, a bad dream always followed. And it was always the same thing.

"What has been your biggest disappointment?"

At first I didn't hear him. I was too swept away in memories of recurring dreams and my false sense of responsibility. I almost wrote it off as my imagination. But then, he asked again. "My question for you is...what has disappointed you most in life?"

Giving myself time to answer his heavy question, I take a swig of my malt, and swish it around. The cold of the drink is painful as it clashes against my teeth and hits the roof of my mouth. But even the suffering the brain freeze caused didn't compare to the pain in my chest. Even though I'd already been thinking of my history and the mystery behind my biological parents, it was as if his inquiry changed everything. I sometimes lied to myself and fabricated a story about my parents being there. I would tell myself that I had a Mom and Dad that loved to travel and that's why they left me with strangers. They loved me dearly and would return for me one day. Then, we'd be jet setters together and the void in my chest would be filled. We'd take family portraits and argue and laugh. Christmases would be warmer and more beautiful. Thanksgivings would feel full and complete...but his question ruined that fantasy. His question destroyed it and shocked me into my harsh reality. I didn't have any of that. None of my imaginings were real. For all I knew my parents wished I were never born or they died off. I was in the dark...and I was in it alone.

I shove the drink aside and fold my arms. "My biggest let down is not having a family. The fact that I don't really have any life outside of this agency...that sucks most of all."

Haru looks on in muted surprise. He examines the silver bands around his fingers and for the first time, I notice words on them. I can't quite make out what they say before he hides his hands beneath the table. His eyes meet mine again and he smiles. If it weren't for my photographic memory, I might not have noticed. But the last time I saw his eyes, they were darker. They were a devouring and suffocating onyx. They stirred up fear and reminded me that I was still the little girl with nightmares. But now his eyes were the color of a storm. Not the color of grey clouds gathering together to ruin someone's day or destroy something they loved; but that of receding clouds that were slowly becoming light and merciful again.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you about my parents. If I do, will you?"

My laugh comes out more bitter than I intend. "If I knew anything about them I would...but, I wouldn't mind hearing about yours. I've always wanted to know what its like to grow up with a family."

He clasps his hands together and leans forward slightly. His own tone seems more harsh than he planned as he says, "I think you'll be sorely disappointed to hear about mine then."

XxX

The simulator's cries blare like a siren as Shigure rushes around the room frantically. "What am I supposed to do with this thing?" He flips the baby so that it hits the table with a smack and unclasps the cloth. After clicking it back in place, he realizes that the doll is still wailing its head off. "Apparently that wasn't the problem." He brings the back of his hand to his forehead and heaves a dramatic sigh. "Oh me oh my. Ayaaaaaa! Make it stop!"

Aya covers his ears upon approaching the pseudo infant and narrows his eyes at it. "I think I know what he needs!" Ayame declares, lifting the baby, and placing it on his shoulder. He pauses for dramatic affect - because why not - and he smacks the doll with such force, the room goes dead silent.

Shigure breathes a sigh of relief and smiles in Aya's direction. "Well done Aya! You have quite the Mother's touch."

But before they have time to celebrate, the baby's piercing cries cut through the room, and they're back to square one.

XxX

"Goochie Goochie Goo!" Shigure coos, and brings the plastic spoon to the simulator baby's lips.

Ayame flips his hair over his shoulder and places his hands on his hips. "What a marvelous gift to the world! I didn't know Haru worked that fast."

Shigure laughs and sets the spoon down, taking a seat next to the doll. "Neither did I Aya...neither did I."

"Did you come up with a name for him yet? It can't be anything less than the best."

Shigure ponders this for a few moments before the idea comes to him. He snaps his fingers and beams. "I got it! Ayure! A combination of our two names. After all, you watched over him just as much as me. He deserves to be named after someone as original and passionate as you."

"Oh 'Gure."

"Aya."

"'Gure.'"

"Aya."

But even the doll must not approve, for he starts crying, yet again.

XxX

I was on my way to the dorm when I noticed it. The whispering and staring. For awhile I thought I was just being ridiculous. But then, the whispers grew louder and dispersed among the people watching. Staring. To them, I was an exhibit, and I didn't know why or what was so different about me.

I rush into the elevator and hit the button for my floor. As soon as the doors close, I lift my arm and sniff. Since I'm not musty, and I don't seem to have anything in my teeth...I don't get it. The moment I step off the elevator, the expressions on people's faces change. They shift from jovial to disgusted. A middle aged woman leans in towards the doctor from before and whispers to him. He shakes his head as if he doesn't believe a word and steps forward. Before I have time to react, he's standing right before me, and looking down at me with his one green eye.

"Mai, is it?"

I nod and swallow thickly, my nerves kicking up at his closeness. As far as I knew, he was a Sohma, but I didn't know if he was part of the Junishi. If he were a fraction closer, it would be a disaster.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and turns. He looks back at me and beckons me to follow with a nod of the head. Reluctantly, I comply and follow him down the hall and into his office. It was as immaculate and dull as his demeanor boasted. The walls were begging to be decorated and the room was perfectly spotless. If I had to guess, I'd say he was the King of Order. Everything was so perfect and straight, I was afraid to track the dirt from my shoes, and risk blemishing the room. The only saving grace that his office offered was the Pachira in the corner of the room; its vibrant leaves a splash of color in a sea of grey.

He takes a seat in his expensive desk chair and sorts through the files on his desk. After finding what he's looking for, he plucks a manila folder from the stack, and pushes the others to the far right. Glancing up at me, he gestures for me to take a seat, and pries open the folder. As I sit in the hard-as-a-rock chair, I notice my name at the top of his folder. "Um...is that my-"

"Porfolio? Yes."

I blow out a breath of air, and my leg bounces up and down out of my apprehension. Sheesh, if I was struggling this much, how would I be able to handle interrogations? The last time I was this nervous was when I was sent to the principal's office. That was back in my third year of middle school. I beat a cocky little first year in high school at arm wrestling. Being the oh-so macho guy that he was, he didn't take losing well, and challenged me to a re-match. Too bad for him, I was too bored to bother. He should have just given up. But _no_ he just _had_ to push me down. Of course I wasn't just gonna let him get off scot-free for that. I kicked his legs out from beneath him with a sweep kick and beat him at yet another thing; a fight. I had to clean the classroom for a month thanks to that baka.

"There have been some complaints that have had me concerned."

It was if my heart stopped beating. I- how could they know about Ryu? I thought I was thorough and careful enough that they wouldn't know. Only Haneul had ever seen my face when I was on the job. That's why I was never arrested, because I wasn't as careless as my former mentor. But if the Sohmas found me out, I guess it was only a matter of time...good things never seemed to last long.

I hang my head in shame and hold out my wrists for cuffing. "Ok. You got me. I know, I know...I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say, can and will be held against me in the court of law. I have the right to a lawyer and can have them present when being questioned. If-"

"No Agent 014, you're not under arrest," he cuts in, a hint of amusement in his otherwise detached tone.

Blushing slightly, I sit up straight, and attempt to regain my composure. "Oh. Then what complaints have there been about me?"

He looks uncomfortable as his eye scans the documentation. "It says here that you completed your training at the Sohma Academy. You finished at the top of your class and have completed two missions for us thus far. Correct?"

I nod and he continues, "People seem to believe that you are getting high-clearance missions by...lying with the head of the agency, Akito Sohma."

I blanch at his words, each syllable draining the life and color out of me. If I wasn't ostracized by half of the academy, I might find have found humor in the situation. I was being accused of sleeping with a man I don't know, having only just kissed someone the first time on a mission, and apparently have to give him my v-card just to get ahead in my career. I guess to them its hard to believe that a female can achieve anything without the help of a man beside her. I wasn't an over the top feminist, but the whole situation was pretty stupid if you ask me.

"I don't think this is the case. I'm around Akito quite often and would be aware of such fraternizing. I will give you the benefit of the doubt Agent 014. If your future with us checks out, I'm sure the rumors and gossip will die out. I don't usually give advice, but the way to clear your name would be by completing your missions with the utmost excellency. The more others take notice of your capabilities, the sooner they will see that you have pure intentions. That's all I wanted to discuss. You have my warmest regards Agent 014 and I commend you on your two successful missions."

XxX

For our mission, Haru and I were on stakeout, keeping watch of a nearby general store. There have been reports of suspicious men lurking and leering around the corners. The shop owner has his suspicions that its the mob, but I honestly just think it's some crazy eyeing his merchandise. Either way, we were parked in an alley with a perfect view of the store that maintained a level of obscurity for us. Surveillance I'd come to find, _wasn't_ as exciting as some movies made it out to be. But, it was a mission, so who could complain?

It just became Saturday an hour ago, and I was scarfing down takeout while Haru was cradling Ayure. Honestly, the name was weird...and sorta creepy. But Shigure and Ayame didn't kill him, so I just let it go.

I kick my feet up on the dash and wriggle my toes in my black boots. They were these amazing shoes I found on sale a few days ago. I wasn't the type to 'shop' but I wanted to make nice with Rin and buy her something. I just so happened to notice these gems on my way to get her present. I was going to give them to her. I considered it for a hot second. But, I just couldn't bring myself to part with them. Everything about them from the chains to the purple buckles, the pure leather to the soft soles...I couldn't just give them away.

Haru bounces his leg to calm Ayure's cries and sticks a pacifier into the doll's mouth to shut it up. Moo Man sets the doll into its carrier and turns to me with mock irritation.

"You could have helped you know. All I do is watch the baby and work. This is a marriage. You should be willing to do your part. He's your son just as well as mine."

I try to keep a straight face, but it doesn't last long. Its only seconds before I can't help but laugh. And for the first time, he's having a hard time staying serious. But it kinda doesn't count because he was joking to begin with.

I lean forward into the seat and look up at the night sky. The sky is clear and every last light within it outshine's its cerulean and obsidian background. I've always had a fascination with nature and the intricacies and complexities of it. Even though nature was more than humanity, there was havoc and problems and flaws just like we lived with. Sometimes there would be storms that would destroy everything or there would be a famine that ruined everything consumable. Our environment wasn't perfect, so it took the pressure off of _us_ having to be perfect too. Even parents, although children like to think they know best...they were human and screwed up just as much as their children did. They were just...older.

Haru reaches for his soda and takes a sip, peering at me out of the corner of his eye. After a minute and a half more - I was impatient - I whirl around in my seat and stare him down. "What Haru?"

"You're supposed to refer to me as Agent 005," he corrected, around a mouthful of root beer.

I roll my eyes. "That's not the point. What are ya looking at me for?"

He turns to me with that blank stare and deadpans, "Maybe I just want to look at you. Maybe there's nothing more to it than that."

Ugh, his calmness was infuriating. Not to mention a little bit scary...

I kick my feet back up on the dash and clasp my hands behind my head. "Fine then. But when you want to talk, let me know."

We don't speak for a full hour. Its 2am and there hasn't been a single peep out of him. I thought he would have cracked and asked his question by now...but I gotta hand it to him. He's tough. To be honest, _I_ was the one that wanted him to ask so it wouldn't be so quiet. Even Ayure wasn't making any noise. I turn in my seat once again so that I face him. He's simply alternating between checking what's going on at the shop and looking over his rings. But I couldn't take the silence anymore. My life has been filled with silence. And silence always meant loneliness. I hated being alone.

"I've never dated anyone."

I can't believe I just blurted that out. What the heck Mai?

When he looks at me this time, his eyes aren't as emotionless as before. There's a hint of curiosity within the mixed grey. He's watching me as if expecting me to press on. So I do. "I don't know why I said that...I...we just never got to finish our game of 20 Questions the other day. We had to go back to the Agency before we could. I just figure that, since you told me about your ex-girlfriend, I should tell you something in return. It's only fair."

He's silent for a few seconds more, but those seconds feel like years, before he responds, "I've only had one girlfriend."

I can't help but smile at this. That was actually refreshing to hear. These days its all about being a player and getting as many chicks as you can. Like its some kind of game and you're trying to rack up points. Even more than refreshing, it was...sweet.

"I hate socks."

"I used to be afraid of the dark," he retorts.

"I've never been to a beach," I throw back.

And before I know it, we're giving and taking secrets as we wait for any sign of criminal activity. Some were weird and some were funny. But others...were sad.

"My first kiss was with a bad guy," I confess as the clock strikes three.

He doesn't laugh and his smile fades into a small frown. He turns back towards the front as if I've struck a nerve somehow. He picks up his binoculars and says, "Then you have something else in common with Rin." And the conversation ends right with that statement. He doesn't speak any more the rest of the time and I don't press it. But his words never leave my mind and the tone of defeat that wraps itself around each word.

By the time the sun comes up, no one has shown up, and I tell the shop owner to tell us if anything else happens. And we leave the mission at that. And even though it feels awful to leave a mission unfinished and without closure...it wasn't the worst part of it.

Haru's statement was.

XxX

 **Mai Sohma (Agent 014)**

 **Intelligence Partner: N/A**

 **Mission Details: At Spring Gymnasium, there has been three reported cases of incidents. One female was food poisoned, another's chalk was switched out with itching powder and Moroccan oil, and during a vault event another member's vault's springs have been tampered with. There are a total of five potential suspects with the exception of the coach who's alibi has checked out.**

 **Target(s): The five girls you will be meeting at the gymnasium; all names TBD.**

They say you learn by experience. All I've learned is that leotards give you wedgies for days.

I step foot onto the blue flooring and set my dark purple duffel bag at my feet.

Bright and early marked the start of my first solo mission. I was to go undercover at a gymnasium, taking gymnastics. The only gyms I'd ever witnessed were the ones I saw on the Olympics. This one was similar but different than the ones I'd seen. There were large, bright, blue and black trampolines, tan - almost beige looking - vaults, a pit of foam squares, and white ropes dangling from the ceiling. Off to the far end of the gym there are bars that two girls are lifting themselves onto and swinging their legs, kicking up and flipping over the bar. One girl seems more experienced than the other. She's more graceful and sticks a perfect landing. The other girl is wobbly with her execution from start to finish and almost twists her ankle when landing.

I retrieve my water bottle from my Duffle and take a tentative swig. Sure, I had some training beforehand, and I was playing the new girl in town card. But I still felt pretty out of place with all the beautiful and talented girls that have been at it for months or years. I use the black elastic from my wrist to tie my hair up into a high ponytail that swings against the nape of my neck every time I move. After removing my shoes and smoothing out the purple velvet of my leotard, the more experienced girl and novice bounce over.

The one that seems experienced is even more pretty up close. Her hair is in a neat black bob and stands out against her pale skin. Freckles dot her face in random patterns and add innocence to her sultry, dark, green eyes. I extend a hand to shake hers, but instead, she pulls me in for an embrace. And not just any embrace. But one that keeps me from getting very much oxygen. I had my suspicions about this girl already. If her hugs were this deadly, imagine her handshakes. Her grip might be strong enough to strangle everyone in this place.

She pulls back and claps her hands together with excitement. "I'm Tamaya, but you can call me Tam. Or Aya. Or Ya. Whichever you're more comfortable with. Are you new? You must be cause' I've never seen you around here. Have you done gymnastics before? I've been doing it since I was seven. Oh where are my manners? This here is shy little Hideko. But the girls and I call her Hide-and-Seek. Am I talking too much? I feel like I am. My sisters told me to watch my rambling. I'm not making you uncomfortable am I?"

I wasn't the type of person to lie or sugar coat things. But because I was undercover, I decided to play it cool, and act as if she _weren't_ just talking a mile a minute.

"Don't worry about it. To answer your questions; I am new, I haven't done gymnastics, and...you can just call me M."

Tamaya's expression is one of puzzlement before it clears and she's back to her bubbly self. Hideko is awkwardly picking at her bright yellow fingernail polish and avoiding my gaze. Hideko is a mousy looking girl, with light brown hair, and a tanned skin tone. Her mouth is fixed in a straight line and her eyes are a guarded chocolate. The only sliver of personality I get is the design on her leotard; a beautiful depiction of a shimmering and glittery dove with an olive branch in its beak.

And fifteen minutes later, I've met the other three girls, and have no idea who could be sabotaging other competitors.

Manami had red and black hair that was braided and reached her waist. She wore a deep red leotard and was the tallest person of the group. She had an apathetic attitude towards everyone and everything. Unless she was putting on a front, she seemed like the least likely suspect.

Her twin sister (Nori) was an inch shy of her sister's height, and had green in her hair rather than red. Her eyes were like Minami's; a sparkling blue. Her leotard was sage and she had a scar on her right thigh where the leotard stopped and her leg began. Nori was the opposite of her sister in that she actually wanted to be here. She was scarily excited about meeting me and getting started with training. If you asked me, I'd say girlfriend was hocked up on some kind of drug.

Last but not least was Yuka. Her blonde hair was styled into a wavy, asymmetrical cut that grazed the tops of her shoulders. Her bangs slightly concealed a pair of hazel eyes and the bags just beneath them. She was the oddest person of the group. When she wasn't shooting off her mouth about the coach, she was stuffing her face with red licorice and gummy worms.

To me, all of them seemed perfectly capable. Tamaya has been around longest and might be threatened by newcomers. Hideko might have something to prove or she could have been picked on for being so quiet and passive. Manami might have a hidden agenda and Nori seemed a bit off her rocker anyway. Judging by Yuka's opinions and put downs, she seemed to hate everyone that breathed.

Before I had time to start gathering Intel, a sharp whistle sounded throughout the gym. Everyone's head turns and in walks the coach.

"Alright, everyone line up! The first thing we're gonna start off with is beam work. I need the ones walking it, doing cartwheels, and round-offs on one side and their spotters on the other. Let's go!"

The only thought on my mind was...oh crap.

XxX

* * *

 **The mission will continue onto the next chapter! But there will be a new mission following it in the next chapter as well. :D**

 **I'll give you a hint...strobe lights, drinks, dancing, bad pick-up lines, tight dresses, and loud music.**

 **I actually did do Gymnastics for about a year before having to move T_T**

 **But I took up Tae Kwon Do not long after ^_^**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: Yay! :D Oh who am I kidding? YASS. Lol xD and good question. But really, how could it be anything short of a disaster with those two? I hope the name didn't disappoint ^_^**

 **SweetLiars: Thank you for reading! And I hope this story doesn't lose anyone's interest. I was hoping I didn't make it dry or anything. Not a lot of action this chapter. You know, I actually didn't think about the Kyo and Ritsu partnership until after you said it xD It is pretty funny to think about haha**

 **See you all next chapter! Baiii :3**


	6. Chapter 6: Welcome to the Club

**Chapter Six: Welcome to the Club**

The girls immediately rush off to get into position. I notice that everyone has their own partner - or spotter, as they called it - except for the snark queen, Yuka.

She plops her butt down on the center of the balance beam, one hand in her bag of gummy worms, and the other was rubbing at her left eye. I glance in the other girl's directions, wondering if anyone of them would trade with me. Not a single one of them looked my way.

Wonderful.

I tentatively approach my partner and swing myself up onto the beam beside her. " _Heyyy_ , Yuka," I say, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly. "So I guess we'll be working together, huh?"

Yuka snorts and shoves a handful of red and green gummy worms into her mouth. "I guess its better than being paired with those other chicks." Annnd, here we go.

She scoffs and scarfs down the rest of the bag. "You don't seem to be wimpy like Hideko. Or a crackhead like Nori...a total blabbermouth like Tamaya or dull as Manami. So...I guess you're alright." How touching...

XxX

As if falling off the balance beam and plummeting to the floor wasn't enough (Yuka was too hateful to be an effective spotter) we had to work on our splits. I tried making my way into one, and my legs felt like they were being ripped apart.

My cartwheels sent me tumbling into Manami and Tamaya, and my somersaults almost caused my neck to snap.

I'm never doing gymnastics again.

XxX

I sling my duffel bag over one shoulder and start towards the locker room to treat my wounds. Four of the girls were already piling out and on their way home as I trudged through the crowd. I got a few pitying slaps on the shoulder from Nori and a quick embrace from Tamaya. Yuka just stuck her tongue out at me and Manami didn't even pay me any mind.

I pop open the nearest stall door and close it behind me, setting the bag down on the lid of the toilet seat. Just as I'm about to call the agency to let them know that nothing came up, I hear the bathroom door open, and someone speaking in a hushed tone. Instinct kicks in, thinking its a private conversation, and I quietly pick up my bag, and I take its place by crouching on the toilet seat.

If I learned anything from training - or movies, even - the suspicious _always_ check under the stalls for anyone being there. If they're smart, anyway.

Just as expected, there is a pause in conversation, and I hear movements going from one end of the bathroom to the next. Unfortunately, I'm too high up to see their feet and figure out who it was. If their toe nails had black nail polish, it was Manami. Chipped or french, it was Yuka or Nori. Tamaya had daring red nails and Hideko had bright and sunny yellow.

A few seconds later, the conversation starts up again. "What do you think Rei? That I can just say, 'Come along with me, we just want to sell your organs' and they'll jump at the opportunity?"

My eyes widen in surprise and I quickly unlock my phone, open the notepad, and start recording the conversation. I can't recognize the voice, even though I'm sure its one of the five girls. I could recognize Tamaya's in an instant. The girl never stopped talking. Nori had an excited lilt to her voice every time she spoke, so it couldn't be her. This voice was rough and harsh, with a hint of satisfaction. So...that ruled out Yuka. Although they both sound crazed.

That left me with the two that never talked at all. Minami...and Hideko. But Manami had already gone home.

"If you ask me, we should get Yuka next. She gets on my last nerve. Then there's the fresh meat that just arrived, M...no, I don't know her full name. She's just as elusive as I am."

I hear pacing start again before it stops and rustling starts. "It is curious that she showed up. We haven't had someone new since I arrived here two years ago...she'll be next on the list, no worries. There's no way I'm missing out on a few c notes."

Okay. So Hideko was working with someone named Rei to harvest organs from other people and sell them to the highest bidder. I guess that means the girls that are missing are already dead or in critical condition. The question is whether I take out the middle man now, or pretend to not suspect a thing so I can take down Rei too.

I send a quick text message to Yuki, asking him to get an answer for me from the higher ups.

Just as the phone conversation is coming to an end, I get a response. _Proceed to neutralize Hideko. A team will be sent out to Rei's location. We're already tracing the call to his apartment complex_.

I smile and slip my phone into my bag, adrenaline surging through my veins in anticipation. I, was going to enjoy this.

XxX

After swiping my key-card, I push the door open with a tired sigh, and drag my weary body over to the King size bed. It isn't until moments later that I realize...this bed feels awfully lumpy for such an expensive hotel. And...why is it grunting at me?

I pry open my bloodshot eyes and force myself to sit up and pull the covers back. A tuft of white hair appears just above the edge of the comforter, and two bleary grey eyes blink back at me.

"Haru," I drawl, slight irritation creeping into my tone. "Why are you in my bed?"

He sits up and deadpans, " _Because_ , its not too soft or too hard. Its _just_ right."

Despite my exhaustion I can't help but spare a laugh. "What's the real reason, Goldilocks?"

He runs a hand through his disheveled hair and exhales softly. "I kind of got bored. And it was weird without you around."

His words send an unexpected jolt of happiness through me and I scoot back so that I'm sitting right next to him. "Is that the Haru way of saying that you miss me?" I smile, a teasing quality weaving its way into my inquiry.

This earns me a smirk and he leans back so that his head rests against the black headboard. "That's one way to put it. Oh, and before you kill me, Ayure's fine. He's with Rin."

I almost slide off the bed in shock at his statement. Did he really say that? Maybe I'm hearing things. I _am_ tired after all.

He must notice how disbelieving I am because he says, "I was surprised too. But she got irritated when she saw the way Shigure was handling him." Haru shrugs and focuses his gaze on the popcorn ceiling. "So, she demanded that she babysit instead."

I'm silently grateful as I let out the tenth yawn in the past hour. I lift the the corded phone - I didn't know they still existed - and start punching in three digits. "Hey, do you think I can order room service?"

Haru smiles, his eyes darkening with mischief. "That's one of the great things about missions. The agency pays for every expense. The hotel will bill it to the agency."

I can feel myself smirking at this revelation as I look through a binder that has a list of food items. "They say you should never mix business with pleasure...but, who cares? I'm ordering ordering the _whole_ seafood platter." I can't help but laugh maniacally as I look through the crab, lobster, steak and shrimp options. This...was going to make that fail of a split worth it.

XxX

I set the last plate of food aside and rub my belly in satisfaction. I feel like I could explode at any moment, but the food was just too good to resist. Haru is next to me in a similar condition, but he looked to be handling it better...with the help of Tums, anyway.

"What do you want to do now?" Haru asks, tossing aside the breaded shell of the only uneaten shrimp.

I lean forward - with much effort - and flick him on the forehead, rolling my eyes. "Um...I'm going to sleep. You, my darling, will be leaving."

He scoffs and rolls over so that he's on his side, facing me with that blank expression. "I was here first Mai. It's not nice to kick people out, you know."

"Since when have I cared about such a thing?" I ask, my eyebrow lifting in emphasis.

He sighs and flops onto his back again. "Good point."

The air conditioner kicks on and goosebumps dot my arms and legs. While Haru and I awaited room service, I took a quick shower, and was finally able to change out of the wedgie-inducing-leotard, and into my over-sized t-shirt and black shorts. But now I was regretting it with how much cold air was blasting out of the AC.

Haru's lips lift into a smug grin as he dives under the covers. "Cold, are we?"

I narrow my eyes at him, realizing what his game is. Well, two can play at this game.

I look back at him with mock innocence and blink as if I'm holding back tears. "How...how could you? That's so mean. I-" before I finish, I snatch the covers off of him, and bundle up beneath them with greater contentment than when I was gouging on crab.

His eyes darken a fraction and he yanks the covers off me as if to reclaim them. But instead of leaving me completely uncovered, he moves in beside me, and his eyes slide closed. "We can share."

His voice sounds huskier than before, but I decide that he's just tired, and try to ignore what it does to my stomach. I literally – and I kid you not – feel my stomach flip, just like a pancake. Heat floods my cheeks as he shifts slightly to get more comfortable and his arm brushes mine. Throughout the entire exchange, I keep wondering why I'm blushing like some kind of shy little girl. I mean, sure, the little experience I did have was with some criminal, and even that wasn't really much but a kiss here and there. I guess I just need to rest because apparently, I'm not reacting like I should.

I reach across the way and pull the cord of the lamp so that the room is enveloped in complete darkness. Haru shifts closer again and the scent of fabric softener - or something of the like - fills my nose and his even breathing sounds in my ears, like some kind of lullaby. A nice lullaby, actually.

My hazy thoughts lean toward moving closer so that I can fall asleep faster, but I quickly banish those thoughts, and tell myself to stop being such a weirdo.

And after another few minutes have past, I feel myself slipping under an enticing and much needed sleep, my own weariness dragging me under. But as I go out, I don't miss the arm that somehow finds its way around my waist in the process.

XxX

"Rin," I hear, as I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, and draw closer to the immense source of heat. The name being called is familiar to me, but I don't recognize it, being torn between sleeping and waking.

"Rin," the name comes out in a groan this time, a heady and inviting tone assuming the place of the pained one.

I will myself to open my eyes and am greeted with a blurred and distorted perception of the hotel room. Dawn broke and the blueish and black light slipping between the slits of the blinds told me that I should still be asleep and _not_ waking to the sound of Rin's name.

Why was her name being called, anyway?

I hear the name dragged from his lips in a way that causes my cheeks to pinken again and my stomach to clench. I turn my head slightly, and look to see Haru - still asleep - and practically moaning the name of his ex-girlfriend. That thought alone makes me shoot up and fling the covers off in realization. If he continued doing that I was going to smack him awake.

Instead, I try to gently shake him awake, to no avail. I'd heard he was a heavy sleeper, but I didn't know it was _this_ bad. Now, slapping him upside the head really does seem like the only viable option.

I yank my shirt down so that it's no longer raised up past my belly button, and it brushes against my knees as I make my way to Haru's side of the bed. His expression contrasts sharply when being compared to his tone. His lips are twisted into a grimace and his eyebrows are drawn together as if he's in physical pain. This makes me change direction and instead of smacking him, I reach for the woven basket that is the trash can, and rush into the bathroom.

After flicking the facet on and filling the basket halfway, I return to his side, and brace myself. Well...here goes nothing.

Much to my relief (or dismay) his eyes fly open and he springs up, water sliding down his cheeks and dripping onto his black shirt. It was a shame though. It was a pretty cool shirt, being _The Legend of Zelda_ and all.

But we _really_ oughta talk about how I end up dumping or spilling something on him, every single time.

He glances from his drenched shirt to me, slowly putting two and two together, all the while I hide the basket behind my back.

"What was that for?" He asks, surprisingly without a trace of anger in his voice. Just...shock.

I huff at this, setting the basket down, and putting my hands on my hips. "By the looks of it, you were having a nightmare." Or some kind of lewd dream. Seemed like a nightmare to me. "I figured the simpler methods wouldn't work on you, so I went with what I knew would."

He leans forward and runs his hands down his face, still trying to wake up fully. "So you dumped water on me?"

"Yes," I reply simply.

He just shakes his head and swings his legs over the side of the bed, getting to his feet. As he approaches me, I remember the drastic height difference, and find myself having to angle my head upward so that I can look him in the face. Before I know what's happening, he takes my hand in his own, and pulls me along with him toward the bathroom.

If he thought I was gonna help relieve him of whatever happened in his dreams, I'd be sure to knock him back to sleep.

Instead he has me stand in front of the sink and looks at me in the mirror, turning the faucet on so that water gushes in a steady stream. I peer back at him in curiosity and he places his hands on either side of the sink, preventing me from escaping. "So that we're even, stick your head under the sink."

I couldn't help but gape at his suggestion. I clench my fists and hope for his sake that he's joking. It's always hard to tell with that emotionless look on his face. This time, he seems to mean business.

I turn so that I face him head on and fold my arms in spite. "Excuse me?"

He stands his ground and his jaw jerks slightly, as if he's grinding his teeth. "You dumped water on me again, Mai. You woke me up and I'm not a morning person. So now, its your turn."

I stamp on his foot and he jumps back as I make my way around him. "Uh-uh. Sorry Moo Man, but it doesn't work that way."

Before I can make a clean break, he wraps his arms around me, and lifts me off the floor, dragging me to the shower instead. I start thrashing in his arms to get him to let me go, but he doesn't.

"Haru," I grit out, just as he opens the glass door with a pop. "If you so much as touch that knob, you will-" my own words are cut off with a yelp of surprise as frigid water churns out of the shower head and onto me. Haru stands directly outside of the shower with a satisfied smirk that makes me want to beat him into oblivion. Instead, a better idea comes to mind, and I latch onto his arm, yanking him into the shower with me.

I cackle as the water hits him and he shivers under the cold torrent, sharing in my suffering.

"Serves you right for doing that to me." I rest my head against the cool shower tiles as he fiddles with the knob to turn it to warmer water instead of shutting it off. My arms drop to my sides as he strips off his shirt and pours some of the hotel shampoo into his hand.

"Just what, do you think you're doing?" Thankfully, he still had his pants on.

He looks at me for a brief second, scrubbing the shampoo into his scalp. "If I'm in here, I might as well wash my hair."

All I could think was, I really _did_ have a weird partner.

XxX

A few days after getting back from my first solo mission, I have a lot of time to kill.

The agency decided to give me the rest of the week off so I just spent most of my time at New Leaf and in the game room. Yes, there's a game room with retro arcade games. It was Paradise to someone like me.

What I hadn't planned on was running into a frazzled and distraught looking Yuki, leaning heavily against the wall of the interrogation room. I debate between asking why he looked to have just been through the ringer, and running in the other direction.

My smaller and much quieter, compassionate side won out, and I decided to approach him.

He spares a glance my way and I don't miss how his purple eyes were fading into a darker shade, filled with panic and pain.

"Hey, you okay?"

He looks at me like this is an odd thing to ask. As it was humorous somehow. With a large expulsion of breath, he slides down until he's seated on the floor, and I shortly join him. "No...not really," he whispers, covering his eyes with his hands. I couldn't help but wonder if he was hiding the haunted look in his eyes for my sake or for his own.

"What happened?"

He lifted his head and glanced at me warily, as if he was wondering if he could trust me or not.

I raise my hands up in surrender and my lips twitch with a smile. "I'm not carrying any weapons or anything. You don't have to worry about me messing up that pretty head of yours either."

His eyebrows knit together before shakes his head in amusement. "What a...strange thing to say."

I shrug and beam at him. "I'm a strange person. So...what's up? You look like someone just threatened to castrate you."

He sighs again and looks queasy as he redirects his gaze to the tiled floor. "I just had to sit in on an interrogation...when you're with Intel, they bring you on as an interrogator when you're three to five years in. But if you have enough potential, they might bring you on board sooner."

Suddenly, I understood. I remembered the first one of Ryu's I'd witnessed. He never asked questions outright to give the person a chance to volunteer the information. He jumped straight to painful methods and I had to watch it all unfold without stepping in to stop it. There were times when he'd break every finger until they confessed and times when he would hang them upside down by their toes...he was sadistic and craved the pain-filled expressions and the way they would stiffen with fear.

He pretty much got off on other people's misery.

I draw my knees to my chest and rest my chin atop them. "Which one was it?"

A shudder rips through his body and his eyes squeeze shut. "Waterboarding."

I bob my head and my own eyes close out sympathy for him. "I'm sorry," I offer lamely.

Another sigh escapes him before he finally chances a look at me. "Will I ever forget it? I mean...I can see it behind my eyelids...and his screams..." his voice breaks and he trembles slightly. "I can hear it so clearly, still."

I rock back and forth, knowing I'm about to deliver bad news. "You might have nightmares for a bit. You'll probably think you see them everywhere you look. You won't be able to eat or breathe without feeling guilt because you realize how much better you have it, not being in their place." Darkness sends my mind spiraling as I recall my own experiences. "You'll look at the world differently and wonder about people and their lives. Will they find themselves being interrogated like that? What if you're the one having to do it? It will disturb you for some time..."

His shoulders slump, and I know its not the answer he wanted to hear. But it was the truth.

"However, you will get better. With each time you have to do it, you'll learn to get over it. Eventually you'll be desensitized to the point you don't lose a wink of sleep over it again."

"Mai, how do you know all of this?" He inquires, facing me full on.

Instead of telling him how I'd assisted Ryu in the interrogations he was afraid of, I decide to be vague with my explanation and say, "Let's just say that I was a part of an unofficial Intel Cor...so to speak."

He nods mutely and I jump to my feet, pacing back and forth to wake my legs up. When I return to the spot I formerly stood, Yuki flashes a small smile in my direction, and the haunted expression eases into gratitude. "Thank you Agent- I mean, Mai."

I grin and tousle that pretty hair of his. "No problem."

XxX

 **Mai Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma (Agent 014 and Agent 005)**

 **Intelligence Partners: Yuki Sohma and Rin Sohma**

 **Mission Details: An exchange of heroine is said to be taking place at an unknown date and location. You are to extract information on the location of the drop and when it takes place. The targets are at Club Midnight to finalize the details.**

 **Target: A member of the Russian Drug Cartel: Kraven's Cravings. A male in his 30's with salt and pepper hair, stubble, and is said to be 4"10" to 5"1" with a pinstripe suit, a black fedora, and usually has a cigar on him. His sister is also to be considered a threat and the potential leader of Kraven's Cravings. She is brunette with a short stature and brown eyes.**

I stand in front of my floor length mirror and smooth my hands down over the creases in my dress. It was a number that Ayame decided was 'to die for' and 'it would be a crime to not wear on a night out.' Yeah, I didn't really have much room to argue on that one.

To be honest, it wasn't all that bad. More racy and girly than what I was used to, but I liked it. It was an ebony number, low cut (to proclaim to the world that yes, I'm well endowed, and yes I wear lacy bras), strapless, tight enough to cling to my curves, and came to my mid-thigh. The dress was paired with black platforms with red bottoms, a thumb silver thumb ring, and of course, my necklace.

I lick my lips nervously, forgetting that I'm wearing plum lipstick, and will have to reapply.

I didn't know _a thing_ about clubs other than what I've seen on screen. I didn't know how to dance or anything, and I figured I'd fare as well as I did during that gymnastics mission last week. The only consolation I had was Rin giving me pointers through my comm and feeding me flirting advice to use on the male target.

She was specifically enlisted for that reason, albeit against her will.

XxX

Club Midnight pulses with explicit pop and the club is literally bumping. Because of the overwhelming number of people from wall to wall, the club is sweltering and smells of sweat and smoke from all directions. The room is dark with the exception of strobe lights and the lamps that hang over the bar. A drunk girl with a tie wrapped around her forehead and a dress too short to be considered one, staggers past us, a step away from barfing on her sky high heels.

So yeah, nothing great about clubbing from what I see.

Haru's hand on the small of my back is a comforting weight, being in new and unexplored territory. He guides me towards the bar, and does his best to keep from getting too close to girls, and transforming. I do the same to maneuver around a few guys that were shoving their way to hit on some poor girl. I'm starting to realize this is the wrong kind of mission for people like us.

I absently take a seat on a bar stool and Haru orders me a Sex on the Beach drink. I shoot him a dirty look and he just chuckles before escaping, moving along the edges of the club to do recon. But I wasn't too worried about it. I knew where he lived and could get him for it later.

Just as the bartender sets my drink down, two hot and sweaty guys take it upon themselves to approach me, and try to outdo the other in cheesy pick-up lines.

The one with a buzz cut, a crooked set of front teeth, but disarmingly green eyes says, "Girl, do you know what has 148 teeth and holds back the Hulk?"

I raise an eyebrow, stumped but scared of where this was going. "My zippah!" It takes me a few moments to register that he's telling me...about his _size_. I could have gone my whole life without that exaggerated info.

His competitor, with a mop of brown hair and muscles, sneers, "That's a lame one, brah. You need to be more straight forward." He pivots to lock face me and tries to wink, but looks like he's having an attack instead. "I love my bed...but I'd rather be in yours."

Buzzcut snorts at this. "You, my lady, must be named Summer. Because you're super hot."

The Mop shoves buzzcut aside. "Are you an orphanage? 'Cause I wanna give you kids."

"I was feeling a little off today, but you turned me on."

"My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U."

Why? Why me?

I force a polite smile and carefully rise up from my seat. "Um, that's awful nice of you boys. But...um...I think I'll be going now. Bye!" Before they can get in another word edgewise, I'm rushing past them - in heels, mind you- and searching for Haru so I can throttle him for leaving me like this.

Just as I spot that tuft of white hair, my earpiece crackles to life. Rin. "Chill out. I've heard worse pick up lines than that...just watch them make a fool of themselves and laugh about it later."

I shake my head. "That's a little harsh, don't you think? Anyway, do you know anything more about the two targets."

"Its Yuki's job to tell you about that sort of thing. I'm supposed to teach you how to flirt, but its the easiest thing in the world." THat's funny, it seemed downright impossible to me. I shudder every time I think about the first time _I_ tried that with Kureno.

"Sway your hips a little when you walk, distribute your weight to the front, and make sure you don't wink or laugh like a lunatic."

I snort and roll my eyes. "Aw, but that's part of the fun. A little cray-cray keeps the pervs away."

There's a minute of silence on her end before she speaks again. "Whatever _small_ shred of respect I had for you is no more after hearing that...never say cray-cray again."

Just as I'm about to reach Haru, I smirk, preparing to tackle him the minute I reach him when I notice the brunette beside him. She's practically draped over him, running her hand up his arm, and batting her eyelashes.

My stomach twists and flips in the worst way. Why was she so close? Didn't he care about the curse being exposed? I get flirting with the potential target, a _little_ but...she looked to be one step away from jumping him.

I surprise myself by the rush of envy that hits me as I put on a smile and step between them. I run my hands up Haru's chest, leaning in towards him. "Hey babe, I've been looking all over for _you_." He looks at me in confusion, wondering why I'm interfering. But I honestly don't know the answer myself.

I reach for my hand and lace his fingers with my own, turning to look at the brunette. "I am just _so_ sorry. I didn't interrupt, did I?"

Haru cuts me off by offering the woman an apologetic smile, and pulling me towards the far back of the club, where no one else is. But he still has to shout to be heard over the loud music. "What was that about, Mai? I could have been speaking to the head of KC."

His words strip away the brief moment of jealousy, and is replaced with shame. I didn't know why I lost my head in that moment, but it was extremely unprofessional, and he had every right to be upset.

"I don't know what came over me...I'm just..." maybe it wasn't jealousy. I just cared. "...I was just being protective. It sounds stupid, I know."

He shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Well, its fine, because she isn't the one. Her eyes are blue, not brown."

I breathe a sigh of relief and Rin chooses that moment to speak again. "Heard that."

* * *

 **Gasp. Could it be? This story has returned? O.O Yes...yes, it has.**

 **I loved writing this chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it too. ^_^**

 **The mission will continue into the next chapter and a new one (Ice Skating Competition) will take place then too.**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: I always love hearing (or reading) that in my reviews. To bring out an array of emotions in readers is a pretty cool thing because my transitioning between sections is hopefully better :) And ugh! I know right? Haru has a sad story like Mai does. The Mabudachi Trio is my favorite dynamic in all of Fruits Basket. Haha! Nice pun xD**

 **Koneko The Fangirl: I'm happy to see a new reader :D Thank you so much for reviewing. ^.^ And yup, they do! :)**

 **See ya'll...in 90 years lol Baiiiiiii :3**


	7. Chapter 7: Ice Princess

**Chapter Seven: Ice Princess**

"Not helping," I murmur in response, scanning the club for our targets. And before I know it, I find one of them. A man - short enough to qualify for a hobbit - is inching his way around the club, a grey fedora tipped over his eyes, slinging an arm around the waist of a leggy blonde. The sharp and pungent smell of booze wafts over as he takes his place at the bar, sitting in the woman's lap.

I nudge Haru with my elbow, and nod my head in the midget's direction. "There's one of them. Looks like I'll have a hard time trying to get close with that chick in the way."

Haru shoves his hands in his pockets as that mischievous darkness appears in his eyes. "You can leave her to me. Just make sure you're set to talk to him."

I open my mouth to ask what he means, but by the time I do, he's already disappeared to stand at the blonde's side.

I watch as Haru puts on a smile that is equal parts charming and...attractive. The blonde glances in his direction with eyes as predatory as a vulture, and her nose looking to have had one too many rhinoplasty operations as she returns his smile.

Somehow, in record time, the man slides off her lap, and the vulture links her arm with Haru's. She follows him outside the club and I give Haru my silent thanks. As soon as I see my opening, I turn to Rin for any last words of wisdom.

"Remember what I told you. Sway your hips and look at him like he's the sexiest man in the world. It doesn't matter that he probably isn't."

"Ya got that right."

"Be subtle about it. Guys like who you're dealing with are sleazy and shallow. Honestly, as long as you have boobs, you'll be fine."

I pretend to check for them and press the back of my hand to my forehead. "Oh goodness, Rin. I got scared for a second. What if my boobs suddenly disappeared? How would I _ever_ complete this mission?"

I can picture Rin face palming as she mutters, "You're not funny. Now get on with it. I'd like to be curled up in bed and watching the newest episode of _Love Leaves Me Breathless_."

I have to clap my hands over my mouth to stifle my laughter. "You watch that soap opera? I wouldn't have expected you to be the type."

"Don't knock it until you try it...besides, I watch it to make fun of it. Watch an episode with me one day, and we can poke fun at the crappy acting."

I find myself smiling at the invitation. "Sure...maybe tomorrow."

"There won't be a tomorrow if you don't hurry up. Go, I'll coach you along the way."

XxX

I approach the man just as I see Haru re-enter the club. I notice red lipstick all over his collar, and the distinct smell of strong perfume shrouding him. He gestures that he spots the head of KC and starts in her direction as I feel a burning sensation coil in the pit of my stomach. It's like a candle's flame; barely noticeable, small, but there. And I have no clue what it means

I shake my head to clear myself of that distraction and roll my shoulders back. After ensuring my dress left little to the imagination, I attempt to walk as Rin directed, shifting my weight to the front, and placing one foot in front of the other.

I stumble slightly, but manage to recover before shortie looks my way.

 _He's sexy...Mai, he's the sexiest man alive. He's so sexy you want to tear his clothes off him and-_

Yeah. Not really working.

But I try anyway, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth, and attempting to give him a smoldering gaze.

He glimpses at me with mild interest as I finally stand directly in front of him. I fold my arms and Rin chimes in with another reminder, "Don't do that. You look hostile. Plus, it hides your boobs."

I take note, and let my arms fall to my sides. I've been racking my brain to try to think of what I could do to get him more interested. But man, seduction missions _really_ sucked.

My thoughts must have shown on my face because Rin tells me to stop scowling.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thang," the munchkin drawls, extending a hand, and I reluctantly take it. "The name is Steed. At least, that's what my ladies call me. Are you looking to be one of my ladies?" I have to swallow back the nausea that resulted from his words as I put his hand on my hip.

"Only if you're interested," I purr, shoving back the urge to punch him for moving his hand lower.

His grin becomes lecherous as he pulls me flush against him. I clench my fist to keep my temper at bay as his fingertips trail the outline of my spine and down to my backside. "Then come with me...if you get the approval of my boss, _I_ get to keep you."

"That won't be needed," Haru declares, coming to my rescue with the unconscious leader of KC hanging over his shoulder. I groan, half relieved and miffed that I didn't get to kick this guy's can around the club.

I look up at Haru with puppy dog eyes and I stick my lip out in a pout. "Please? Can I? I never get to have any fun with the sleazebags."

He glances around at the drunk and almost drunk crowd, before looking back at me. With a sigh of defeat, he waves his hand as if giving me his blessing. "Go ahead. But the agency won't like it. He wouldn't be the one to instigate it."

I crack my knuckles, smirking at the midget. "That's why they're not gonna know a thing." Before the sicko can escape, I latch onto the collar of his suit, and yank him back. "Aw, why are you running away? I'm here to help you out...no, really. I know how short you are, and I want to help get you closer to the ground than you are now."

I shrug my shoulders, keeping my expression casual. "I'm honestly doing you a favor. You look like you want to be put in the ground."

Steed shakes his head frantically and peers up at Haru. "You're a reasonable man, aren't ya? Call off the bimbo and we can talk man to man."

Hold up. I _know_ he didn't just call me a bimbo.

I yank my earrings off and toss them to the bar, slamming the midget into the counter. "Oh? Is that right? I thought about letting you off easy, but now there ain't _no_ chance of that!"

"Mommy," Steed whimpers, right before my fist connects with his face. Haru just stands there, watching with a content expression that rivaled my own.

And that, ladies and gentlemen...is all she wrote.

XxX

I collapse on my bed after getting back from the mission. It was an unwritten tradition to stop by New Leaf after work, but it was past curfew, and I had to settle on placing an order for food from the Agency's Kitchen/Cafe. Even though New Leaf's food was mostly disgusting, it was home, and I missed it.

Rin steps out of the shower, in a black robe, and toweling her long tresses. She makes her way over and taps me on the ankle. "I want to ask you something."

I wearily force myself into a sitting position, and rest my head against the wall in preparation. "Okay...should I have the cops at the ready, because you never talk to me outside of missions, and this could be my last hour?"

She scoffs and plops down on the foot of my bed, tossing her damp towel into the nearby hamper. "Only if you have a death wish. I just want to know how you see Haru."

I bug my eyes out and try my hardest not to laugh. "With my eyes."

Rin reaches behind me and smacks me with one of my red throw pillows. "I'm being serious. You like Haru, or what?"

Her question throws me for a loop, and I can tell the surprise and mortification are bleeding through my features, as I feel my face heat up.

"Wh-Why are you asking? No, of course not. We're friends."

Rin shakes her head and begins braiding her hair to allow it to air dry. "That's not what I asked. There's such a thing as one-sided and unrequited affections." She rolls her eyes to the ceiling and heaves a sigh, as if _I_ was interrogating her. "Look, I'm not going to murder you if you say that you like him. What Haru and I had is long over. And...I want him to be happy and forget about me."

My gaze drops to the crimson comforter. And something I never thought of pops up. "I heard partners couldn't be together."

"We're the reason they invented that rule, you know," she confesses, shrugging her shoulders with an unabashed expression. Wow, she really has no chill.

I have no response for that and silence stretches between us, because it was such an awkward conversation to have with her. I couldn't even really think of what might have earned her suspicions. Haru and I've never even hugged...although there was that night we shared a bed, it was completely platonic.

Rin rises up and flops down on her own bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I just know that Haru's very likable. And _no one_ is immune to him. Eventually you'll fall for him too, and you'll fall hard." She rolls over onto her side - eerily like Haru did at the hotel - and rests her cheek on the palm of her hand. "If you do like him...you have my approval."

I give a startled laugh and mimic her position. "Rin, under no circumstances will I have feelings for him. He's good looking, I'll give him that...but he's strange and our personalities don't mesh."

For the first time tonight, Rin looks at me with genuine intrigue. "How so?"

"He's laid back and calm. Me? Well, I'm not. I'm the exact opposite."

"Opposites attract," she retorts.

"Ha. We're more like oil and water. We don't mix."

A knock sounds from the door, signaling that my food is here, and that our conversation is about to be cut short. And honestly, I'm relieved.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and put on my bunny slippers, to pad over to the door.

Just as I'm about to turn the knob, Rin delivers one final blow. "So he's different from you...believe me, it won't matter soon enough. And from the 'reasons' you gave me, I can already tell that it won't be long."

XxX

The next morning is a Saturday and I roll over in bed, reveling in the fact that I can just lay here all day. No missions for at least two-three days, no obligations, and no homework. Unless you count Ayure as homework.

I lazily open one eye to see if Rin's still in the room to find her bed empty, and the comforter hanging off the bed, wrinkled. Well, that answers that question.

I inhale and exhale, breathing in the smell of the air conditioner - I've always loved the smell - and letting my eye fall shut again. Knowing the way my internal clock worked on weekends, it was probably well past one in the afternoon by now.

I pull the covers up to my neck, intent on falling back to sleep, when someone decides to shatter my peace by rapping on the door. I try to ignore it, hoping they'd take the hint and leave, but they knock again. And after two more times, I lean over the side of my bed to retrieve my slipper and fling it at the door, hitting its target with a loud bang.

I can't help but smirk in satisfaction as I lie back down.

That oughta do it. Now they'll-

"I see you're awake," Haru comments dryly, popping his head in the doorway.

With every ounce of energy I can muster, I glare at him in hopes of him vaporizing under my gaze...to no avail.

"Haru," I start, forcing a fake smile. "If someone's not dead, dying, or injured in some way...I'll see to it that _you_ are."

He simply shuts the door behind him and takes a seat beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him - leather boots and all - on _my_ blanket. "Now I know you're not a morning person either."

I shove him slightly before attempting to smooth out my mussed up hair. "No. I'm just not a fan of cruel and unusual punishment, which is what bothering me on a Saturday afternoon is."

He focuses his grey eyes on me as he rummages through his pockets. "I have good reason for it. I have an extra ticket to a concert and no one else to go with."

I clasp my hands together as an attempt to hide my excitement and feign nonchalance at this news. "Oh? And why is that?"

He rubs the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed. "I ordered the tickets ahead of time for Rin and I...but, we're not going together for obvious reasons."

For some reason, his words bring the weight of disappointment to my shoulders, and I feel myself slump against the wall. "I see...well, depending on who it is, I'll gladly take it off your hands."

He sets one of the tickets down in my lap and I hold it up to my eyes to examine it more closely. It's white with gold and black lettering. It's also short notice for an invitation seeing how the concert was at 7 tonight, but I quickly forgave him because it was FTIsland. Only the best Korean Pop-Rock group in existence.

I hug the ticket to myself, scared that he might change his mind, and give a nod of consent. "If we're going out, what'll we do about Ayure?"

He brings his arms over his head in a stretch before letting one drop to bed, right next to my hip. "He can go to the concert. We should start him off young by exposing him to great music."

"He's a doll, Haru."

He presses a hand to his heart and looks at me with mock disappointment. "Mai! You should be glad he's in my room and didn't catch that. Its damaging to his self-esteem."

"You're damaging to his self-esteem."

He gifts me with a genuinely warm smile and I bask in his attention. Sometimes it made me sad to think about how detached and impersonal Haru seemed. I wondered what made him so...emotionless and blank. Some people weren't outwardly expressive. But it felt like something caused it...and it bothered me.

"Seriously though, we shouldn't have Shigure and Ayame watch Ayure. They nearly broke him last time by burping him," I muse with a shake my head, still amazed at how inept they were with a simulator. "Rin's probably on a mission, so she's out. Who does that leave then?"

"Yuki?" Haru inquires, scratching at his chin.

"I think he's busy today. What about Kyo? Kagura?"

"If Ayure cried long enough, Kyo would probably end up chucking him out the window. And Kagura's too crazy to be trusted with him."

I sink down into my bed and duck under the covers once more.

This concert idea was quickly becoming impossible. I was also finding this parenting assignment to be a hassle, and I was placed in the class by mistake as it was. They just _couldn't_ let me switch out because it was "unfair" to everyone else. 'And if they switched _me_ out, they'd have to do the same for _everyone_.' It was times like this that I wish I could put Ryu's convincing methods to good use.

But in truth, I would never. Not even to get out of a parenting class.

Haru seems to sense my feelings of defeat because he flicks me in the forehead - something I usually did to cheer him up - and his smile deepens out of reassurance. "I'm sure Ayame and Shigure can handle it for one more night. Next time we go out, we'll hopefully have someone else available. Is that enough to appease you, Queen Mai?"

Yes, Haru really was an enigma...he was a weird one, but that wasn't such a bad thing. I could see why Rin said he was so likable, but he still wasn't my type. Although if I'm honest, I didn't have enough experience to have a type. But, that didn't mean I wouldn't still mess with him.

This time I shove him off my bed and blow a raspberry in his direction. He looks up at me with a small frown and I smirk in return. "Fine by me. And since we're not in the nosebleeds for the concert, I'm okay with letting them babysit one more time."

XxX

It isn't until 6:50 when we reach the ticket booth; we pass by a scalper and two desperate chicks attempting to weasel a couple of fake tickets off of him along the way. We're eight minutes shy of sunset, and the sky declares this with its myriad of pink and orange, blending together like watercolors, running under the impending arrival of the moon.

This time, I actually made an effort to look nice; a black t-shirt, with FTIsland etched into the material, paired with a dark purple skirt, black boots - that were just below my thighs - over matching knee-highs. I opted for darker eye makeup, pink chapstick, and letting my hair down for the first time (outside of washing it) in months.

A group of fangirls rushes past us and I subconsciously step behind Haru, just as they dart inside the amphitheater. The wind the movement creates causes my skirt to fan upward, revealing a not-so-inconspicuous pair of lacy underwear. I quickly smooth my skirt out and chance a look at Haru, hoping beyond hope that he hadn't seen a thing.

Thankfully, he was occupied with handing over our tickets, and missed the entire thing.

A few minutes later, we're lead to the private VIP section, and a burly security guard with tinted shades and a badge dangling from his neck, lifts the velvet red rope, and allows us inside. Haru and I take a seat in the red velvet chairs, and I ask, "How did you score these seats, anyway?"

He throws his arm around the back of my seat and the one to his right, smiling at me. "I thought you'd know that Sohmas have connections, by now. You've never used the Sohma name to get a good deal or get out of a detention?"

I shake my head, curiosity buzzing in the back of my head at the potential stories behind his words. "Nope. I'm a good girl."

I could almost kick myself the moment I realize how that sounded. And Haru doesn't make it any better by responding with, "I'll believe it when I see it." And his words make my stomach flip again as the heat of his words and the look in his eyes cause different scenarios to flash in my mind.

Instead of possibly saying something stupid, I ask him if he'll get me a Dr Pepper before the concert starts. Much to my relief, he suspects nothing, and gets up to comply with my request, stepping over a few outstretched legs to exit the aisle.

As soon as he's away, I sink down into the seat, ducking my head in shame.

What's happened to me? Its like, ever since Rin and I had the conversation- no. Ever since that night in the hotel, I've felt...different around Haru. Weird, around him. The way my stomach went crazy when he smiled or said something even _remotely_ flirtatious. Or how my stomach burned with jealousy when I saw the evidence of a mission well done, by the lipstick on his collar. And how much I was starting to hate that it wasn't mine.

I need to compose myself before he gets back. I _cannot_ date him. Its against Agency Policy _and_ I shouldn't have feelings for him. I'm...not really sure why, but I shouldn't!

To snap out of it, I smack myself across the cheek as hard as possible, and hiss at the stinging pain. And, oh joy, Haru chooses that exact moment to get back, and he shoots a questioning gaze my way as he reclaims his seat.

"I knew you were excited about the concert, but not _that_ excited," He teases, setting the purple cup into the black ring beside me. "Are you okay?"

I look away, a useless attempt to hide the redness in my cheeks, and I mumble an 'I'm fine' just as mic feedback screeches across the amphitheater.

"Thank you all for coming out to the show. If you're excited, let me hear you!" The entire area thunders with shouting and feet stomping, its rhythm building up an indescribable energy. I allow the tide of the crowd to pull me away from my thoughts and I join in with shouts of my own.

"Alright, alright. Nice to see you all are hyped for the show. We're gonna start off the set with 'Pray.' Is that okay with you?" We all give mixed sounds of agreement with this decision and an electric guitar introduces the piece that got me into FTIsland.

Haru and I compete to see who can shout the lyrics the loudest, and the crowd seems to follow. It isn't long before the entire place is jamming along to the electrifying guitars and the intense bass the drumming provided. At some point during the song, Haru's arms circle my waist, and I can feel him bob his head in time to the music.

I didn't know why he did it, but in this moment...I didn't care.

I loved it.

As he sings this time, I feel the vibrations of his voice, right at the base of my neck. Its an addicting and tantalizing hum that makes me wish the song went on for at least five minutes instead of four. I just wanted to feel the music in his voice for a little bit longer. But, the song eventually wrapped up, and he released me.

For the rest of the night, Haru doesn't touch me again. We just dance and sway along to the music, both of us pretending that nothing happened and nothing changed. But it did.

We weren't the same.

XxX

Taking my seat in the usual booth, I inhale the earthy smells of coffee drifting from the kitchen. Coffee sounded amazing right now. Truthfully, it always hit the spot, night or day.

And Tohru being here makes it all the better.

I wave the brunette over and she beams as she approaches my table, retrieving the pencil from behind her ear, and starting a new page in her notepad. "We seem to keep missing each other. I haven't seen you in a long time," the girl bubbles, excitement shining in her eyes.

I reciprocate her smile. "Yeah, I've missed you. And don't worry about my order, I'll just pour a cup of coffee for myself," I slide out of the booth and start for the kitchen, with Tohru trailing after me. "How have things been with you?"

She giggles and pulls up a chair, while I hop up on the counter to start a fresh pot. "Great! I might be getting a promotion soon. But, I don't know if I'll do that well."

I shake a packet of sugar and cross my legs at the ankles. "I guarantee you'll do fine. Not only do you have little competition, but you're a sweet girl, and Mr Hashirama says you're his favorite employee."

"That she is," the man himself cuts in, tossing a just-used set of plates into the sink. He ties his hair back into a ponytail, at the nape of his neck, and claps Tohru and I on the shoulder. "And you, my dear Mai, are my favorite daughter."

I laugh, remembering our inside joke. "I'm your _only_ daughter Mr. Hashirama. Well, I wish I was."

He bobs his head and pops the white cabinet open - right next to my head - and retrieves a coffee filter for me from the high shelf. Everytime that I stopped by, upset or exhausted, he would help me get my double dosage of caffeine. Since I was short, he had to help me reach things on the top shelf, things like the coffee filter.

I'd asked why he didn't just put them somewhere I could reach, but he just laughed it off, and I knew it was a Hashirama thing. It was just his way to mess with people. I was no exception.

After I unfold a bag of coffee grounds, he folds his arms, and leans against the counter beside me. I can already tell by his posture and the raise of his eyebrow that he can tell I'm upset. But instead of humoring him, I just continue making coffee, and ignoring the concerned looks he keeps giving me.

After a few minutes and another cup later, he takes the hint and leaves Tohru and I to ourselves.

Tohru flicks the facet and turns the knobs so that the water temperature shifts to hot, and slips her hands into bright purple gloves, preparing to wash the new dishes. "I've been washing dishes for the past two weeks." She chirps, squirting dawn into the side of the sink filled with hot water. "Not that I'm complaining! I'm just filling in for Foxy right now. Normally, she would be the waitress on Sundays."

I roll my eyes and guzzle down the scalding coffee, ignoring the burn. "Knowing her, she's probably late because she's working a pole somewhere."

Tohru's eyes widen exponentially and she nearly drops a plate in surprise. "Eh?! Really? Wow, she must have a lot of confidence to do something like that."

I can't help but smile warmly at the girl, mulling over her outlook. Huh. So that's what sunny people thought of it. I was once like Tohru, though. Bright and hopeful. But, that girl died inside me a long time ago...and I haven't seen her since.

"Tohru...? Have you ever had a crush on someone, and wished you didn't?"

She pauses in scrubbing a ceramic blue plate, sparing a thoughtful glance over her shoulder. "I've never regretted liking anybody," she explains, pink twinging her cheeks. "But I do like someone. He's older than me, but I don't feel my feelings for him are a mistake."

The honesty in her tone startles me, and I almost slip off the counter. I was curious about who her mystery man was, but didn't want to pry. Plus, I really needed advice.

"There's this guy that I work with. He's sweet and he makes me laugh, we have the same taste in music...in a lot of things, actually." I bite my thumbnail, suddenly reluctant to continue. "But I've never been with someone, and he has. Then there's the fact that one of my friends- er, acquaintances, used to date him. She said it was fine, but can someone really be okay with you dating their ex?"

She blows a strand of chocolate hair out of her face, and swipes the back of her forehead with a gloved hand, thinking my question over. I was desperate for an answer, but her innocent eyes told me that she probably didn't have the answer I needed.

A few moments later, she starts pulling off her gloves, and setting them neatly on the granite nearby. After washing her hands and drying them, she swivels towards me with her full attention.

Her lips lift into a small smile and she claps her hands together. "You sound like you really like him. I haven't dealt with this sort of thing before, but I always tell people to go with what makes them happy. As long as it doesn't hurt someone or themselves, then I tell them to go for it."

"You make it sound so easy," I murmur, shaking my head. "How are you so...hopeful about things? How do you know it'll work out?"

She winces almost imperceptibly at the desperation and despair in my tone, and her eyebrows furrow pityingly. And it annoys me and touches me at the same time. Because it was rare for people to feel sorry for me, but it irritated me when they did.

She reaches for both of my hands, taking them in her own, and flashing her bright smile up at me. "I don't know if it will work. But...you have to try. And, you seem like the type to have a lot of fight and a lot of strength. I know you won't give up if he's someone you really want." Her thumb circles my hand, like I'd think a Mother would. "If your friend says that she's okay with it, trust her, and try it. I wish you success."

XxX

I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of some kind of racket, and it sounds weirdly like a baby crying. But that couldn't be, I don't have a baby...I should just ignore it and go back to sleep. Heck, maybe I was dreaming...

"Either you shut that doll up, or I will," Rin growls, exhaustion seeping through her otherwise angry voice.

And for awhile I try to do just that. But nothing I try works. Diaper change, feeding, burping- I've done them all and not a single thing had any affect.

The moment the clock blares _2:21_ am in bright green letters, I decide I've had enough and throw on a robe, stumbling around the room in blinding darkness. I toss the doll over my shoulder and rush down the hallway towards Haru's dorm to find out just how _he_ did it. Honestly, I was tired, and failing the assignment was looking better and better by the minute.

The boy's dormitory is much different than the girls. I was actually sad to see the lack of color along the walls. The decorations were pretty sparse and it looked more like a prison than a housing unit.

No wonder Haru was usually hanging around mine.

I shift the doll to my other shoulder and knock on the door, not caring about how loud it must have been in the dead of night. Ayure was already wailing his head off, so it didn't make much difference anyway.

Its seconds before Haru yanks the door open, his hair disheveled, and his eyes sleepy and dark. When he notices the situation, he ushers me inside, shutting the door behind him to keep the noise in.

I glance over at the made up bed, then at Haru for an explanation.

"Its Yuki's. He's doing some interrogation training," He mumbles, searching for something in his nightstand. "That's the type of training that people don't do during daylight hours."

I feel a pang of sadness for Yuki and take a seat on Haru's bed, watching as he pulls out a black pair of headphones and his ipod. "Okay, I know I'm half asleep right now...but I really have no clue what you're doing."

Without offering any words, he sits the baby up against the wall - right on the nightstand - and gently places the headphones over the doll's ears. After scrolling through his music collection, he selects a classic rock piece, and sets the ipod down beside Ayure.

Haru falls back on the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Don't ask me why, but having him listen to music helps."

I lay down beside him and crane my head so that I can look at him directly. "And you discovered this...how?"

He shrugs. "Remember how I joked about exposing him to good music? I actually tried it to see if it would get a response. And, it did."

I snort and poke him in the arm. "You're odd, Haru."

He smirks, his eyes shining with amusement. "What? No Moo Man? You must really be tired."

The familiar flip returns to my stomach, stronger this time, and my finger - as if it has a mind of its own - trails down his arm, lightly brushing across his hand. "Maybe that's it...it's almost 2:30 after all."

He nods, putting one hand behind his head, and letting his eyes drift closed.

I smile, delighting in how comfortable and at ease he looks. And with me, no less. But maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. He was probably just tired and happy to be laying down.

Yeah, I was just getting ahead of myself. That's all.

As my finger continues its playful teasing, I get another look at his rings and the letters inscribed in them. And in my sleepy haze, I decide to just ask what they say, instead of carefully broaching the subject.

He cracks one eye open and fixates his gaze on them. "Iterum Amo. It means love again, in Latin."

I swallow thickly to steel myself, and try to convince myself that he didn't hear my heartbeat. But it was beating so erratically I was sure he could. When did this happen? My feelings for him just...showed up. Didn't they?

Or, did I just notice them?

"What does it say on your wrist," he poses the question, his voice sleepy and deeper.

I tear my gaze away from him long enough to glance at the inside of my wrist. And the words etched into my skin jar me out of my own tired state. Each letter that spelled out my past, always there, and permanent. _Property Of Ryu_ branded me and was a sharp reminder that I was no good, and no good for Haru.

I didn't deserve him.

I may have been that scared little girl, but I was a bad one too.

I roll up to a sitting position and get to my feet. He shifts behind me, most likely wondering why I was leaving so abruptly, but I'm unable to give him that answer...unable to look him in the eyes any longer.

"Mai," he calls, just as my hand touches the knob.

But I don't respond. I don't look back. I just leave him sitting there, puzzled and alone with Ayure. But if it was any consolation, I was in a worse state than he was.

XxX

 **Mai Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma (Agent 014 and Agent 005)**

 **Intelligence Partner: Ayame Sohma**

 **Mission Details: There are suspicions that the skating competition held in Powderful Arena are fixed, and certain competitors are getting ahead through the aforementioned. A request has been made by the Ice Skating League for Sohma Agency to investigate further.**

 **Target: TBD (Whomever is behind the potential tampering).**

XxX

Turns out, Ayame is actually an expert on ice skating. For some reason, he spent winters binge watching ice skating competitions, and practically lived for the winter Olympics. He was just as familiar with the ice skating terms as I was, which is why he was called to help out with Intel.

Yup, I knew how to ice skate. I've been skating for the past five years. Ryu had used to date this chick, Solvania. She was Russian, blonde, graceful, and had a body tempting enough to have an affair with two other guys while she was seeing Ryu. Long story short, I learned to perfect a triple lutz, and Solvania along with the two men have mysteriously disappeared.

Sadly, what that really meant was a triple homicide charge, on top of his long list of crimes committed. Yeah, that's who I belonged to. That's who's name was engraved into my wrist.

That's who ruined me for good.

Haru and I don't speak the entire ride to the arena. Today is the first day of Ice Skating training, and we were supposed to be focused on investigating. I wasn't sure about him, but I couldn't stop thinking about where I'd left things the night before.

Charging out of his room like my hair was on fire _might_ not have been the best thing to do.

As soon as we arrive, Haru and I start towards the ice rink. He was not only my partner on the mission, but my ice skating partner. And to be convincing skaters, we had a lot of work to do.

"Ow," Haru groans, clutching the boot of his partially bloody skate.

I come to a stop right in front of him, ice spraying up from my skates. "I told you, you have to break them in first. Its gonna take some time."

"Time we don't have," he grits out, shakily standing again. "What's wrong? You've been acting-"

"Weird," I cut him off, gliding over so that I'm staring directly up at him. "Bizarre. Psycho?"

"I was going to say distant." He glances around the nearly empty arena, before his gaze returns to me, his voice dropping to a soft whisper. "Did I do something?"

I shake my head, too nervous to give him a verbal answer.

"Then what? Why are you upset?"

Instead of responding, I kick off, and start into my routine again. Anything...anything to not have this conversation and talk about Ryu and my stupid feelings. "Try to keep up," I shout over the sound of the blades of my skates, scratching across the ice.

I can feel him getting closer, slowly, and I try to get away from him. Not wanting to be close anymore. Needing space, and time to not think. A moment to not talk. I skate hard, the pain and pressure in my feet barely noticeable as I see him in my peripherals. He's edging closer and closer. I can't talk...I can't...

Time slows to a crawl, right before it happens.

My legs give out, I overstep, and my ankle moves in a way that it shouldn't. I can feel the searing pain, the burning from the ball of my foot to my ankle, twisting and contorting and snapping to give way to the impact.

My back slams against the cool ground as I crumble, and I grit my teeth as the pain starts. I hear someone yell my name...I hear it, just barely over my own cries...and then, I realize.

I just broke my ankle.

* * *

 **You guys have probably noticed, but I typically start and finish missions on separate chapters. You will see the conclusion of the Ice Skating Mission next chapter and the start of a new one. It will be called "Got Rhythm" hint, hint.**

 **Next mission should have at least four agents on a mission together. I just need to decide who the four will be (two will be Haru and Mai, of course).**

 **I hope you all enjoyed the implied HaruxMai moment. ^_^**

 **I don't know if you all noticed, but...Haru seems to be showing an interest in Mai ;)**

 **But alas, there is a rule against partners dating.**

 **So what will become of them?**

 **You'll just have to wait and see :P I'm trying to make sure its not too fast or too slow.**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: Now I _really_ wished I'd been able to come up with some XD I suppose 90 years have passed :) Wow. What does that make me? 200+ years old by now. I was already 102 :D Oh, I believe it. You can live forever :P**

 **Koneko the Fangirl: Have I mentioned that I really like you Pen Name (And that's not just flattery, lol) But thank you for taking the time out to review. I've never heard someone say it was fun, but I'm glad you see it that way :P**

 **See you all next chapter! Baiiii :3**


	8. Chapter 8: Got Rhythm?

**Chapter Eight: Got Rhythm?**

It feels like I'm swimming and drowning in blackness. I feel pain... _so_ much pain, but I can't stop it. All I can do is cry and grit my teeth until the pain stops and the numbness starts.

Everything passes by in a blur of skilled hands and concerned eyes. I barely remember much about my trip from the ice skating rink to the emergency room. Well, the visual because of my memory, and it often took snapshots without my permission.

But what stuck with me more than IV's and monitors and a gurney, wasn't a thing at all.

Haru.

Throughout the entire process, he never once leaves my side, and he never once lets go of my hand. His pulse could be felt through the vise of a grip he had on my hand, steady with sharp peaks every few seconds. His pulse would kick up with the lift of his eyebrow, the worry that cut through his blank facade, and the barely noticeable trembling of his fingers.

And he was there and concerned, even when I tried pushing him away. I knew that I couldn't be with him, but I just wanted this...small moment. I just wanted to lie here, thankful for the silenced pain, and the warmth and roughness of his hand. I just wanted to rest here, looking up at him, and pretending that I belonged to him. That holding hands with him was a regular thing and I could do it any time I felt like it.

Even if I couldn't.

The trip seems to last only a moment before I'm carted into the emergency area and a doctor of some kind asks questions immediately; my name, my date of birth, my allergies, and whether I had any other pre-existing health conditions. And during this exchange, where Haru answers for me, I realize how much he knew about me.

But I also remember how much he didn't.

XxX

Haru re-enters my room with a bowl of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, a spoon tucked between his index and middle finger as he approaches my bedside. He sets the bowl down in my lap and I manage a small smile in return.

He knew how bored I was becoming, waiting for the doctors to give me the all-clear to be discharged, and that I hadn't eaten all day. And because he was my partner and friend, he stopped by the hospital's cafeteria to get something for me to eat.

But because he was still Haru at the end of the day, I didn't miss the huge chunk that had been taken out of the chocolate ice cream. I cock my head to the side, looking up at him expectantly. "I see you got hungry along the way."

He smiles softly and flops down beside me, eyeing the styrofoam bowl. "It was a long journey. I had to take an elevator to get up here."

I roll my eyes and shovel a huge spoonful of vanilla, shifting my foot slightly to get it more comfortable. The doctor instructed that I keep it elevated above my heart - to reduce the swelling - and to make sure its iced as soon as I get home. The crutches that would be my new best friend for the next four weeks, were leaning against the cabinet that held the hospital gowns.

A few minutes after being diagnosed with a segmental fracture (my ankle is broken in two places), I knew that I'd be confined to desk duty or missions that didn't require a lot of movement. Which meant...my Ice Skating mission was being re-tasked to someone else.

I figure that's why Rin decided to leave me a bouquet of red roses. She knew I'd be pretty useless and it was her way of saying, "Sucks for you. But, maybe this will cheer you up. And if not, I don't get a refund so you'd better."

Haru's leg swings off the bed, lightly tapping against the side, as he folds his arms behind his head. I continue to eat the ice cream in silence, knowing that he wanted to talk...and recalling how I wound up in this mess in the first place.

Because I tried running away.

He sighs slightly. "Mai, about earlier...you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I look up at him in surprise, just barely holding onto my plastic spoon. "What?"

He shrugs, one of his arms landing on my left side, and brushing against my hip. The tiny sensation was enough to send another jolt of happiness through me.

"About what it says on your wrist. Its not my business. But, is anything else wrong?"

I avoid meeting his gaze and stare down at my ice cream, although I'm finding that my appetite is crumbling away in the midst of my shame and guilt. Instead of answering, I opt for fiddling with my hospital bracelet, and trying to keep my breathing calm and controlled.

I wasn't ready to talk. I probably wouldn't ever be. But I couldn't escape this time, what with being hop-along for the next month.

Just as I'm about to ask if he can step out for a moment to collect myself, he pulls me into his arms. Its so sudden and unusual for us that I was caught off guard completely. But being so close and breathing in that smell of detergent and something I couldn't put a name to, was becoming a pleasant distraction from unwarranted thoughts and feelings.

"You don't have to answer...you looked like you were about to pass out just now," he breathes in a whisper, his voice vibrating from his chest to mine. "But you're my friend, and if someone or something is bothering you..." he shakes his head, breaking off his own words, and tightening his hold on me.

Its been so long since somebody had last done the same thing. Out of affection and attention and care. I let my eyes slide close and lean into him, as if passing the weight of the last several years, from my shoulders onto his. And ironically, the feeling of being held like this causes a heaviness to settle over me, because I know that I've never had this before.

Not with a Mom or Dad. My foster parents had always kept me at arm's length unless we were in public. Then they acted like they loved me for appearances. And I'd spend nights, lying awake and wondering why they adopted me if they would treat me like that. When I looked into it, I found that they wanted money from the state for themselves and their _real_ baby. It was never about me...it was never about giving someone a home, when they'd spent so much time on the streets. It was about their selfish desires and wants.

It was never about mine.

But Haru...it was different with him. He made this day about me. Only focusing on me and what I needed. What I wanted. Even though its only as a friend, I can't help but feel an overwhelming surge of appreciation for him. It terrifies and excites me all at the same time, and I don't want it to end.

But just like during the concert, he lets me go, and our moment is broken by the sound of shoes scuffing against the tiled floor.

The doctor looks flips through my charts, gnawing on the end of a pen, and periodically pushing the glasses up his nose whenever they slide down.

After years of agonizing silence, he lets the pages fall back into place, and looks up at me with a toothy smile. "Good news Miss Sohma, you're free to go. Everything has already been billed to your insurance, and the painkillers are already prescribed and you can get them from your pharmacy in a few hours."

Haru grunts in acknowledgement as he hops up and reaches for my crutches. Just as he grips both by the grey handle, he looks towards the doctor who's halfway out the door. "Wait. Would it be alright if we used a wheelchair until we leave? That way it's easier to get her downstairs."

The doctor blinked at him as if he just said he was expecting, before shrugging. "Its up to you, although we have an elevator."

"Thanks," Haru replies, ignoring his statement, and returning to my side. A black wheel chair with silver wheels is rolled in and Haru carries me - bridal style - to help me into the seat. He slings the crutches over his back like an ox before helping to wheel me to the elevator. And I'm truly sad to say, that my face was pink the entire time.

But even worse than that, I didn't make a single crack about him carrying my crutches like a cow.

XxX

"So you were unable to complete the mission. Correct?"

"Yes," I answer, bowing my head in shame.

Akito taps his fingers along the edge of his desk and sighs. Haru and I were giving him our debriefing for a failed mission and the doctor's note recommending that I abstain from rigorous activity for a month.

The head looks through both of our files with an air of disappointment. "Both of you are some of the most skilled assets this agency has ever seen." He glances in Haru's direction, running a manicured nail down his list of accomplishments. "You've completed a total of 200 missions in the time that you've been here. Well...succesfully, anyway. And you've only failed two in your entire career." This time he turns his attention on me. "Both times have been with your partner, Mai Sohma."

I cringe, beginning to follow where he was going with this.

"I'm beginning to wonder if this pairing is not working very well. You two are both well acquainted with our policies, I hope?"

"Yes Akito-sama," Haru and I chime in unison.

"Mai, I see that you have a...jacked up ankle, so any missions that will have you on the move is out of the question." He reaches under his desk and yanks a drawer open. After searching for a minute or two, he resurfaces and slaps the manilla folder onto the desk between us. "This should suit your needs well. You will have _one_ more mission to prove yourselves. If you fail it, you two will be assigned new partners. And if we ever discover any fraternizing or romantic involvements between the two of you, you will be suspended from duty. Am I understood?"

Haru and I exchange concerned glances before our gazes flicker back to Akito. "Yes," we chorus again.

Akito leans back into the leather of his desk chair and folds his hands, resting his elbows on the arm rests. "Good. Now take the file with you and get out of my sight."

XxX

 **Mai Sohma, Hatsuharu Sohma, Kyo Sohma, and Kagura Sohma (Agents 014, 005, 013, 012)**

 **Intelligence Partner(s): Momiji Sohma and Yuki Sohma**

 **Mission Details: You are to infiltrate a record label as a band, seeking a record deal, but investigating the corruption within the company itself.**

 **Target: The owner of Record Label Hungover Melodies: Matsuro Iyagashi.**

XxX

A new face was thrown into the mix for Intel; Momiji. From what I heard, he had a musically trained ear, and could easily pick up on missed chords and flat notes. He was to help us out with rehearsals and prep for the mission ahead.

It was a big one because it would be over the course of at least two weeks just to be heard by Matsuro.

We were possibly looking at embezzlement, fraud, and contract breaches; just the mission I needed to prove myself and to be Haru's partner. I just needed to keep my feelings in line.

Yeah, not hard at all.

We were in a room at the end of the training hall, warming up or trying to figure out our instruments.

Haru was the only one of our group with experience with an instrument; namely the drums. Even though he only had the basics down, that was more than could be said for the three of us.

Kyo was still trying to set up his amp, Kagura was struggling with the mic stand, and I...had no clue how to work an electric. It was fun to listen to them, not so fun to try playing one.

"Ugh! This isn't fitting right," Kyo growled, trying to shove a plug into one of the amp's outlets.

"Did you try turning it on?" Haru asked dully, applying his second bandage.

The red head squints at Haru, his lips contorted into a snarl. "That's not the problem, ya dumb cow. I've been trying to plug this in for 30 minutes."

Haru gives pause in response to the insult, tensing as he clutches his drumsticks. "What?"

Realizing that Black Haru could come out (even though Black Haru is kind of sexy...in a dangerous way, we had no time for a rampage from his other half) I knew that I needed to step in. Or, hobble, rather.

I set my guitar down in my seat and reach for my crutches, using them for support to make my way over to the two hot headed boys. I step just between them, directing Haru's darkening eyes on me.

"Stop fighting, both of you. We need to focus on learning our stuff. Speaking of which, where is Momiji?"

"Here I am," a boy shouts with a giggle, bouncing over to where we stood, holding a cherry lollipop. His blonde locks curl and fall into a pair of amber colored eyes, boyish and bright. And if he weren't about the same height as Yuki, I wouldn't know that he was even close to our age, due to his younger features.

"Its about time," Kyo says, snorting in frustration. "I've been trying to-"

"-Work the amp, we know," I cut in, tired of wasting any more time.

But I immediately regret that when Kagura's head snaps up and she stares at me. Her eyes narrow into slits as she clenches her fists. "Did you just raise your voice at my man?" She tosses the mic stand aside, sending it toppling to the floor, as she approaches. "Nobody yells at Kyo but me."

"Hey," Kyo starts, but is unheard over the sound of Kagura's shoes thudding against the floor as she gets closer. And I wish even more that I was able to run.

But before she can launch a physical assault on me and before I can send her flying, Haru puts himself between us, and holds his hand up to stop her from going further. "We need to practice, Kagura. Beating each other up isn't going to help anything."

"That's right," Momiji agrees, removing the lollipop from his mouth with a pop. "Everyone, grab your instruments and show me what you got."

Kyo shoves the amp aside - opting to play without it - and picks up an acoustic instead, while Haru jogs over to my abandoned instrument to retrieve it for me. I flick him on the forehead in thanks and he flicks me back.

Yeah...we had issues.

Just as Haru takes his seat at the drum kit and Kagura picks up the fallen mic stand, Momiji claps his hands to signal our start.

And it was...the ugliest sound I'd ever heard.

Discordant notes, uneven rhythms, off key crooning...there wasn't anything pretty about it.

I rub my temples, quickly realizing...

This was going to be a long mission.

* * *

 **I hope you guys liked this chapter. Short as it may be.**

 **Thank you all for the four reviews last chapter. I actually thought people lost interest, but I really wanted to keep working on it. But thank you for the encouragement. I already want to start on chapter nine lol**

 **SweetLiars: Aww, I've missed your reviews :3 But don't worry about it. I understand that and honestly, as long as you enjoy it (review or no review) I'm happy about it. Thank you! And I planned for Kyo to be on this mission from the beginning :)**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: Because I'm the Onion Queen, and Onions make people cry (except me)...then smile because they're good. But this review is so kind and just plain awesome. This especially motivated and encouraged me for this next installment. But really, who _isn't_ confused by the way chicks act? And that's coming from one. Indeed it tis the question: who is Tohru's lovah? I know :( Yuki working with interrogation techniques...almost as scarring as putting him in prison, ya feel? ;)**

 **Koneko The Fangirl: Ah, I understand that :) I've written weird things in my sleep deprived...hours? But I'm just happy that you reviewed any way.**

 **Kuramasgirl19769: Yay! If you want them together, then I'm not doing too shabby developing their relationship. That's a huge relief, by the way. I'm working on my pacing. I promise not to hurt you :P Thank you for reading and you never have to worry about that ^_^**

 **See you all next chapter! Baiii :3**


	9. Chapter 9: Seal The Deal

**Chapter Nine: Seal The Deal**

"Well, guys...I've officially reached a conclusion. We suck."

The group nods their heads somberly and Momiji shakes his head in protest.

"Nein! You just haven't found your rhythm yet." Momiji bites off the head of his cherry lollipop before tossing it into the nearby trash can. From what I could tell, that meant business.

He looks each and every one of us in the eye, his expression becoming more serious with each person he looks at. And after he stops directly in front of Kagura and Kyo, he inquires, "Why are two doing this? What is your motivation?"

Kagura's head turns - too slow to be normal - in Kyo's direction before snapping into place, her eyes gleaming with ferocity. Like she just found her prey and was about to pounce on him.

She actually does just that, lunging at an agitated Kyo, and rubbing her nose into the material of his black shirt, her nostrils flaring with her deep inhales. "Kyo, of course. I heard he was on this mission, and I just _had_ to. Its my duty as his wife, y'know."

Kyo attempts to pry Kagura off him, but she doesn't budge. He just ends up leaving white finger impressions on her skin that slowly fade back to her normal flesh color.

"I told you," he growls, impatiently beating on her arms like an ape. "We're not married and we never will be. Let me go! Woman-"

She pulls back and smacks Kyo clear across the face, sending him crashing into Haru's cymbals, slamming into the ground. But the real sad part was his' falling into the cymbals made a better sound than our "jam session" just did.

Kagura stomps over to him before dropping down to straddle his chest and throttling him. "Don't talk back to me. If I say we're married, we're married, got it?" She screeches, as we all watch as Kyo's eyes roll to the back of his head.

Instead of any of us intervening, Haru glances back at Momiji. "We have to complete this mission to stay partners...that's my motivation for doing it," he explains, bluntly and plainly.

And for a time I just gape at him, wondering if there was some kind of hidden meaning behind his words. But I'm still without a clue when Kagura and Kyo's thrashing shocks me out of my stupor.

Now she's slamming his head into the ground, declaring that it was 'tough love' or something like that. And before I know it, Momiji retrieves another lollipop - coconut this time - and sticks it into his mouth. The way his eyes slip closed and he breathes a blissful sigh makes me think that those lollipops are his stress relievers.

It was only a matter of time before the poor boy would turn to something stronger.

XxX

After the rest of the rehearsal goes down in flames, we all decided to just call it a night, and head somewhere for dinner. Kyo's original plan was to return to the agency and get some shut eye, but Kagura threw him over her shoulder and forced him to treat her to a seafood restaurant.

Quite the happy couple, they were.

Haru and I take a seat in our usual red booth at New Leaf, awaiting to see who our waitress would be for the day, when Yuki and Momiji arrive with two children in tow. The rat and rabbit both slide in opposite of us, while the two newcomers stand just outside of it.

They both look a few years younger than us; second years in middle school more than likely. And the pair appear to be polar forces, one timid and one brash. The shy girl ducks her head and kicks at the tile flooring, (that hasn't been swept in five years) opting to remain mute. And her friend shoves Momiji aside to make room for himself and plops down, demanding that the girl takes a seat next to Haru.

I didn't know who he thought _he_ was, but the kid was rubbing me the wrong way.

...I am now realizing how creepy that sounds.

"What is there to eat in this joint? I'm starving," the boy barks, picking up the sticky menu, scanning it disapprovingly. It isn't until Haru kicks him from beneath the table that the hateful glare drops and is replaced with surprise.

"What was that for?"

"Stop being rude, Hiro," Haru chides before looking in the girl's direction. "Hey Kisa...do you want to order something?"

She glances up at him uncertainly before shaking her head. And before he can ask her what's wrong, Miss My-Home-Is-Where-The-Pole-Is struts over, her eyes immediately searching the table for some poor sap to flirt with. But not before shooting me a withering gaze. Thankfully (or not), her hungry gaze lands on Momiji, sipping on a glass of orange soda and _not_ giving her the time of day.

A smug grin plays along her scarlet lips before she pivots towards him, placing her hands on her hips and leaning forward. "Well, well...what is a cute guy like you doing in a dump like this?"

Momiji - being the sweet person he was - decides to play along. "Mai said it was the best place. So, I decided to see for myself. Plus, she said they serve pastries."

Foxy flips her red hair over her shoulder - revealing her name tag - before climbing up onto the blue surface of the table, crawling towards him, and maintaining eye contact throughout the entire thing. "I don't know if we have any more pastries. But I'm just as sweet as _any_ cupcake."

And just as silent.

I shake my head in irritation before saying, "Hey, Foxy? Do you accept change? Or is it cash only?"

She shoots me a dirty look over her shoulder, her grin twisting into a sour grimace. "You think that I feel _bad_ about being a stripper? I love it. You're just mad because you have a flat butt."

I hear a couple of "Ooh's," in response to her insult, and I decide to have some fun of my own.

"Better that, than a flat chest. No worries though. If the stripping thing doesn't work out, you can always be a waitress again. And Mr Hashirama will save a _ton_ of money on trays. Your chest will do just fine."

Haru and I fist bump and I almost laugh at Foxy's fuming.

She scrambles backward so that she's off the table, but standing directly outside the booth. Oh, but if looks could kill...I would be dead a thousand times over by now.

"At least I've gotten laid. As if anyone's ever gonna give a granny-panty-wearing tomboy a second look. It pays to be good in bed, you know. And last I heard, you haven't even ever kissed anybody. Have you?" she tosses back, giving me a look of mock sympathy and making kissy faces.

Homegirl really needed to grow up.

Surprisingly it isn't Haru that comes to my rescue this time, but Momiji.

He reaches for my hand across the table, running his thumb over the rough skin in ticklish circles. And I don't know whether to ask what he's doing or to smile at Foxy's reaction. She looked incredibly unattractive with her mouth hanging open and her heavily made up eyes watching those movements. I'd laugh, but it would ruin it.

"Mai is just shy about our relationship. She doesn't like to tell everyone about it," Momiji states, his eyes asking me to go along with the act. I give a small nod, but a bout of nausea hits me at the thought of it. Like I was betraying someone. Or...I don't know, cheating?

But that wasn't possible. I can't cheat on someone I'm not dating.

Then why do I feel so bad about it?

Feelings are annoying.

Foxy folds her arms, narrowing her swampy green eyes at our sudden PDA in suspicion. "Seems super sketch to me. Back in middle school, Mai couldn't even speak to a guy."

Her words stun me. Like when you accidentally bump your shower controls and freezing cold water pours out and you regret everything. And I immediately feel myself stiffening, bracing for the inevitable blow. Wishing that I was with anybody else...but him.

She beams at my discomfort and charges forward with the words I knew I couldn't stop, short of knocking her out (which actually, didn't sound like such a bad idea).

"Mai _tried_ to talk to this one guy she liked our third year of middle school."

I bristle and sink down into my seat, as Haru, Momiji, and an initially indifferent Yuki lean forward in interest.

"She wound up barfing on his shoes. And out of embarrassment, she punched him. Because she's a complete psychopath and solves her probs with beating the crap out of people. No guy ever approached her after that. Except that one weirdo that wanted to arm wrestle.

"So, she never kissed anyone...oh wait, you're telling me that she did." Foxy explains, snorting in disbelief while I slip my hand out of Momiji's and press my face into the table, hiding.

What did I do to deserve this?

Oh yeah. I was a crook once.

Right...

But there's mercy - even now - because Hiro demands that she take his order before he eats the vinyl, and she begrudgingly complies. And I try to not meet anyone's eyes throughout the entire waiting period.

"Shouldn't _you_ be called Foxy?" Hiro asks, dipping one his entrees' in ranch dressing.

I try to understand what he's asking, and the moment it dawns on me, I actually laugh at the irony. And I don't miss the way Haru smirked.

But he doesn't miss my fist when I slug him in the leg, obscured from everyone else's view, beneath the table.

XxX

A month later, (yes, it took us that long) we finally have a decent set going, and I challenged Haru to a game of hoops. He tried to wear a pair of _black_ jeans, but I told him that I wouldn't be taking him to the hospital for heat stroke. Long story short, he changed.

And of course, he jumped at the opportunity to 'show me how it's done.' But little did he know, my jump shot could make LeBron jealous.

What? I kept up with American sports…I _did_ live there for a time when I was in leagues with Ryu.

Now, at 5pm, we both stand on the light blue courtyard at the Agency, both of us trying to decide who got the ball first.

"Let's flip for it," I suggest, lunging for the ball before he moves it out of reach. Curse his tallness…

"How about the tallest goes first?"

I roll my eyes. "That's dumb. If anything, it's _ladies_ first."

He scoffs, moving the basketball so that it rests against the hip of his black and white workout shorts. "That's racist. Men get the first shot."

I just stare at him, trying to make sense of that statement, before giving up because it's Haru. "Racist?" I sputter. "Boy, rank has its privileges."

"All the more reason for me to have the ball."

I fold my arms, kicking at a tuft of moss lying on the ground. "Keep it up and you won't have any."

He sighs, tossing the ball to me, before crouching slightly at the center line.

I beam in victory as I start to dribble; getting into a rhythm while eyeing the hoop. My arms and legs are exposed to the warmth of the setting sun, comfortable, and I'm thankful because sweating in front of the guy you like…well, it just plain sucks.

I already thought he might be suspicious by the outfit I chose; short black gym shorts and a matching tank-top, paired with my sneakers. But that was normal for basketball…right? I hate that I'm constantly analyzing and overthinking _every_ choice I make. Like what I eat that day (bad breath ain't cute), what clothes I wear, making sure I don't let something stupid come out. And I _wish_ that the awkwardness and nerves would leave me in peace, because I miss being comfortable around him. What I'd give to go back to that.

"Mai, are you going to shoot? Do you know how?" Haru breaks into my thoughts, smirking. "Because I don't mind teaching you."

I glare at him, shaking off my nerves, and getting into the zone. Oh, was it on now!

I fake left, then do a 180 turn before rushing past him, slamming the ball through the hoop. And it was the best rush I've experienced outside of work...and I wanted to feel it again.

"So you can play," Haru deadpans, catching the ball as it whooshes through the net.

I stick my tongue out at him, bouncing on my heels in anticipation. "You ain't seen nothing yet. I'm just getting warmed up."

He clucks his tongue, bouncing the rock from one palm to the other. "Don't get cocky. Now that I know you're serious, I'll start playing."

XxX

"Feel like giving up yet?" Haru pants, resting his hands on his knees, while I'm right beside him in a similar condition.

"In your dreams...you'll be the one saying uncle once I get in this free throw. One more point, and I break the tie."

I was pretty impressed with Haru's skills (not that I'd tell him that). We were tied 15-15, and this last shot would give me the win. Haru and I made a little wager around point 12. Whomever loses has to act like their zodiac animal for a week. Haru had to moo everytime someone called him by name, and I had to bark every time Ayure cried, all because I was the fox.

Ayure cried _way_ too much for me to lose this thing.

I swipe at the sweat beading on my lip - trying to not sweat was a total fail - and started my dribble again. I bend my knees and elbows, closing one eye to get a clear target in sight when...

"Mai," Haru breathes right behind me; his breath tickling the nape of my neck as he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. "Its your turn."

I gasp at the sudden closeness, heat creeping up my cheeks while I try to focus. And in that moment, I realize what he was doing...he was playing dirty to get me to lose by distracting me.

Unfortunately for him, I hate losing. Just ask that guy I beat up in middle school.

The moment I find my rhythm again, one of his hands move to my hip, and I stop breathing. He steps closer, his breath warm on the back of my neck, while his thumb moves over my hip in circles that make my head spin. I grip the basketball in my hands, my knuckles turning white with my restraint, as I try to ignore this...strange feeling. And _not_ question why I enjoyed it.

...did I just admit that?

"You haven't done anything yet," he states, as if reminding me, while his tone is betraying his own enjoyment. And I wasn't sure if it was because he got a kick of torturing me, or...

Never mind! Not going there.

His hand moves from my hip to my ribs, and my breath hitches. It just does...like I have asthma, and those blasted goosebumps decide to make their return. Just from one _measly_ touch...

One... _nice_ touch...

No! Snap out of it Mai. You're just friends. He doesn't see you that way...right?

Right.

I poise my hands so that the ball seems level with the hoop, flick my wrists, and it sails through the air.

And, it lands right in a bush.

Because in the breath of a second, he's standing closer, and I'm too confused about what's happening to win our little bet.

He steps back - as if just realizing, himself - and my back is hit with a snap of cold air. A painful declaration that whatever moment _that_ was, was over.

Haru rubs the back of his neck, looking around uncomfortably. "I should probably head back. Rin won't watch Ayure forever..."

His words are like a slap to the face. Bringing up his ex-girlfriend almost seemed deliberate. And I wasn't sure how to react or respond.

So I just mutter an 'okay' that I'm not sure he heard, before he walks away.

And he doesn't say another word.

XxX

Today we're recording the demo being sent into Hungover Melodies.

But I was expecting it to be ugly, going in.

Once Kagura realized I _wasn't_ interested in jumping Kyo, she chilled out, and stopped calling me "The cheap hussy with the split ends and ringlets." Although, I _did_ find it a bit more flattering than "The idiot with the bum ankle." But it was still weird.

Kagura was trying to get Kyo naked.

Kyo and Haru were at each other's throats when the cat insulted him, or Haru was bored and instigated it.

Moo Man and I are _still_ caught up in an awkward waltz - so to speak - dancing around topics that we were afraid to get into, but managing to step over one another's toes anyway.

Like I said...ugly.

And the lyrics of our single didn't help, any:

 _Stolen kisses in the hallway_

 _I just can't stay away_

 _Its so addicting_

 _I'm tripping in the best way_

 _Bedroom eyes_

 _Heartbroken sighs_

 _Mascara bleeding from my cries_...

You get the picture.

But I was actually excited about seeing a real live studio. If I wasn't working with Sohma Agency...or a former criminal...and had actual talent, I would be a singer. But sadly, I couldn't sing myself out of a paper bag. That's why Kagura was our front man. Not me.

The studio had a chill vibe to it; calming shades of red lined with a satin-like gold, dim lighting, very little techs milling about. It was like a sanctuary for musicians or something.

Within the recording booth is: a pop filter - dangling in front of a silver and sleek condenser mic - a cherry red electric, resting on its stand beside it's cousin; a neon green bass. And a brilliant light blue drum kit to the far back with cymbals that shone under the studio lighting, embossed in pea green lettering.

And I almost found myself laughing at Haru's salivating over the drums. I guess having to re-learn how to play proved that he should give them another shot.

"Alright knuckleheads, let's get started," I proclaim, running to my instrument like a child at Christmas time. Kyo and Kagura shoot me angry glares, Momiji gives us the thumbs up from behind the glass - facing us - and Haru smiles at my excitement.

He counts us in, tapping his drumsticks against one another. "1...2...3.."

XxX

"Can I get... _the_ Rainbow Rolls, with soy sauce?" I ask, handing the dark brown menu to our waiter.

He flashes a charming smile in my direction as he tucks the menu under his arm, pivoting towards Kagura, Haru, and Kyo. "And what will it be for the two of you?"

Haru requests the same and Kyo says to just get him whatever fish they had, before the waiter leaves to place our orders. Kagura loops her arm through Kyo's and nuzzles his shoulder. "We can share, right Kyo." Even though it was a question, it sounded more like a demand.

He rolls his eyes and mutters, "Whatever." Not wanting to fight with a crazy boar in the middle of a Japanese steakhouse.

Haru leans back into the booth, stretching his legs out, and his foot 'accidentally' touches mine. I knew it was on purpose because he didn't bother moving it. Well, that and he smirked at me from across the table.

"Do we have a plan to get this record deal?" He asks, twirling his thumb ring. "Because mediocrity doesn't sell well."

I snort at this. "Yuki had an idea in mind...but it was a last resort."

Now Kyo looks up in interest, craning his head to look at me. "What are you talkin' about?"

I force my gaze to the satin cloth of the table, wishing I hadn't actually responded. "Iyagashi - the owner of the label - is a total sleaze. He likes his women young and...inexperienced. The only reason I agreed to seducing him was the fact it was _just_ flirting. Not taking him to bed."

Haru's eyebrow lifts, but its so quick that I almost miss it. And he's back to looking bored again.

"What does that mean, then?" Kyo asks, sighing as Kagura puts her feet in his lap.

"That's why we're here," I explain, with a wave of my hand. "To celebrate. We got the deal."

The boys perk up at this and Kagura beams up at them. "Yup. Mai did all the work because she knows I would never cheat on my husband. You know that, don't you Kyo?"

A smile tugs at Haru's lips - in spite of the two 'lovebirds' arguing - and says, "Good job."

I grin back, glad that everything is cool with us again. "Thanks."

XxX

After recording a more professional version of our demo track, Iyagashi (and the creative directors) decided that we should kick off our debut with an upscale music video; complete with romance, drama, irony...the works.

I hold my breath as the stylist – Jaime' – sprays hairspray over my teased hair, and basically try not to die by inhaling it. Honestly, it wasn't easy.

Kagura sits in a beige stylist chair adjacent to me, primping in the mirror, while her makeup artist has been trying to apply her lipstick for the past half-hour.

It was a bold color – bright and seductive – to draw attention to her lips for her kiss scene. I couldn't help but laugh every time I imagined her kissing Kyo. Undoubtedly having to restrain him or shoot him up with a tranquilizer, first.

Maybe catnip would work.

As if on cue, the man himself storms into the room, decked out in a silvery top, black jeans, silver and black beads, and guy liner.

He folds his arms and scowls at his reflection in my vanity mirror. "I look like a pansy."

"I always knew you were one," Haru cuts in, clapping him on the shoulder as he made his sudden appearance.

Kyo slaps his hand away before spinning on his heel to glare at the cow. "You're asking for a fight, ox-boy."

Ox-boy?

Haru smirks, examining one of his ink-black nails. "We never did finish our fight…did we, neko-chan?" He inquires, tauntingly.

Kyo clenches his fists before shoving at Haru, almost pushing him right into me. "Don't call me that! It's already bad enough that Ayame calls me Lucky Kyo." His eyes flit from Haru to me, a mischievous grin dancing along his lips. "Maybe I should tell your _girlfriend_ about what Rin used to call you."

Just then, Haru snatches Kyo up by the collar, and narrows his eyes in muted irritation. "Who told you?"

My attention bounced back and forth between a content Kyo and an angry Haru; my mind still reeling from being called his girlfriend and Haru not denying it.

The cat disentangles Haru's hand from his glittery top as his smirk becomes a full out grin. "Snuggle buns. Isn't that what she called you? I can't even imagine Rin saying something like that. Oh wait…she called you her milk and cookies, because you're a cow."

At this, I burst out laughing. "Milk and cookies? I'm gonna have to remember that one."

Haru shoots a glare in my direction before dropping Kyo, who started laughing with me.

"You _really_ shouldn't talk," Haru starts, a devious glint in his eyes. " _KyoKyo_."

Before he can respond, the music video director steps onto the scene. "We're rolling in five. Haru and Kagura are up first. We want to get the kissing scene done early on as possible."

Haru starts to follows him out of the room, noticing Kagura's absence at the last minute. "Kagura?"

She shakes her head, folding her arms with an air of defiance. "I am not kissing Haru."

I couldn't even begin to process what was happening. Why was _she_ doing a love scene with him? And...what?

Haru sighs, turning towards Kyo. "Kyo, convince your girlfriend that she needs to do this so we can finish our mission."

"She's not my girlfriend!" Kyo growls, jumping to his feet.

"That's right!" Kagura agrees, rushing to his side. "I'm his wife."

Haru shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "Ok. Then tell your _wife_ to come with me so you two can start investigating him."

It looks like it kills Kyo as he forces himself to take Kagura's hands, twitching the entire time. "Kagura," he grits out. "Will you go already? I want to go home."

Kagura releases his hands before flinging her arms around his neck, capturing his lips with hers, while Kyo tries to shove her off.

When she steps back, she starts after Haru, blowing kisses in his direction. "I'll see you soon darling!"

He ducks - as if to dodge her kisses - and mumbles out a "Yeah, yeah. Now go."

XxX

Akito accepts the file that Haru hands off, his face clear of all emotion. And it was nerve-wracking because I couldn't even guess what he was thinking. But, who knows? Maybe it would be for the best if Haru and I are re-assigned.

We stand in silence for five agonizing minutes before Akito speaks. "So, you got him for embezzlement, narcotics, _and_ prostitution. Well done."

I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, glad to not have screwed up another mission, when Akito decides to ruin it.

"But know this...you aren't completely in the clear. It will be a long time before you," he says, pointedly at me, "Prove yourselves. Now go away."

XxX

After the investigation drew to a close, it was time for our Fall break. And as a reward for a successful deep cover mission, the agency allowed us to stay at the Sohma Summer Home...in Fall.

But its like I said, my cousins are weird.

Throughout the entire day, I avoided Haru like the plague. I was getting _way_ too awkward around him. And everything was going just dandy.

 _Until_ room arrangements were made.

We were roomed together because no one wanted to deal with Ayure crying all night. And they gave us the room on the furthest end of the house.

Now it was after dinner and Haru and I were both standing in the doorway. He was holding Ayure to his chest like I might take him and beat him with it.

The only saving grace was the fact that there were two single beds. And extremely comfortable.

"Um...I'm gonna take a shower," I explain, ready to run to the bathroom.

"Yeah. I guess I'll go to bed early. We're going to the stores tomorrow."

"Right..."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Uh-uh."

And with that, I scooped up a random set of clothes, and darted towards the showers.

Like I said...awkward.

XxX

Darkness devours me.

It crashes over me, like a tidal wave, dragging me beneath the surface. Further and further into the deepest depths of a trench.

And I feel closed in...locked up.

My chest is tight and constricting, like a weight on my chest that just won't go away. My breaths are short staccatos, the beginnings of a dramatic and painful sting, a soundtrack to my nightmare. A nightmare that I didn't have any person to free me from.

I just had to suffocate and drown until it was over.

Weeping at the feet of parents I never knew. Over and over in an endless loop until some miracle broke the cycle and brought me back into the world of waking and sunlight.

I never got to see their faces. Just their feet. One always wore a pair of heels; expensive, tall, and thin. If they were peep-toes I would notice a gold toe ring, and I hated gold.

I wondered if that meant something.

The other person's shoes were worn and a stark contrast to the woman's. Hers promised caviar, yachts, and good times. His screamed death, ruin, and deprivation.

And I always felt worse when I saw his feet than I did hers.

His brought on sadness and loss...

Hers made me angry and empty. I felt injustice when I saw her shoes more than when I saw the man's. And I didn't understand why, but I knew the sight of it hurt. And I would always see the feet walking away, while I was left outside.

And it was cold...so cold, that night.

It was Winter then. It had to be.

But they just abandoned me in the streets. At the mercy of hounds sniffing out their next meal, pedophiles and crooks searching for their next victim...and even though I was just a five year old, whom knew nothing of the world - not even her own name - was learning fear.

I knew how fear made me panic and cry.

Most children cried out of needing to be fed or changed or burped. To sleep. I knew these things from parenting class.

But I didn't cry for any of those reasons.

I cried because I knew fear, before I should have known the dark side of humanity.

Because they never returned for me.

I was just left there...to die...

...to die...

to...die...

"Mai! Mai, wake-up," a voice shouts, worry giving the tone edge, as it yanked me out of sleep.

My eyes fly open and a blurry figure is staring back at me. Still too tired to register what white hair and grey eyes meant and why they were so close to me that I could feel warmth, puffing out in frantic pants from said figure.

After blinking several times, my vision clears, and I'm face to face with Haru. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are set in a deep frown, as he stares at me and I stare back. Wondering why he was here, comforting me when we weren't even talking.

And trying to ignore the way his closeness caused goosebumps to rise on my skin, like my body was anticipating something that would never happen. And I could kick myself for feeling this way, due to the hurt I was dealing with from the music video shoot; as irrational as it was.

He climbs off of me and sits on his heels, his hands resting on his knees as he looks at me. The moonlight hits the room just right, and I can see the words on his rings... _Love Again_ , spelled out in ancient script. And it almost seems like a command. Or a reminder to him.

 _Love Again_ , Haru. Or you will never know a love that will last.

My cheeks heat up and I quickly look away, shivering from the cold air...or the thought of being the one he loves...

And I thought barfing on that guy's shoes was embarrassing.

"Mai," his voice is quiet, but somehow echoes in my ears. Because I love the way he sounds when he's sleepy. Deep and...tantalizingly husky. To the point where, I wanted him to speak again, and break the silence I hated.

"Are you okay?"

I nod my head, still not facing him.

"What's happened to us? This is the third time in over a month that you seem upset with me." His tone dropped even lower, confusion wrapping itself around the syllables of his desperation. Trying to understand...enticing me to make him understand.

"I...care about you Mai. I don't want it to be like this."

I stare back at him in silence. Waiting to see if he'll elaborate or say that he likes me. But not wanting to be that girl that hoped and got shot down again. I was tired of it.

He looks around the room and I can practically see the wheels turning in his head. And moments later, his face brightens with an idea, and he hops up to put it into action. He grabs for the other single bed and pulls it over - with strength befitting of his zodiac animal - and pushes it close to my own. Then he climbs onto it and flops down, lying on his side so that he faces me.

"I want to talk about it this time," he says, his grey eyes inviting and magnetic. And I find myself entranced by them, not even noticing his foot inching closer to mine, never once breaking our eye contact.

"I want to, too," I whisper, my voice rough under the weight of our impending conversation and memories of my nightmare.

He smiles and I feel a weird urge to touch him. So I do. Taking his hand and lacing his fingers with my own, my pulse drumming heavily against his softer and calmer one.

With that hand, he pulls me closer, so that there's very little space between the two of us. Trepidation skits along the edge of my contentment because I'm close to him. And I can hear every breath. Feel every heartbeat. And the smell of laundry detergent and a tinge of aftershave fill my nose with every inhale. At some point his arm rests against my hip and I work up the nerve to wrap my leg around his. My heat melds with his own, but it isn't uncomfortable...its actually nice.

"Haru," I squeak, in awe of how close we are for partners. Friends. "What are we doing?"

He sighs and I shudder at the heat, trying to think of a way to get even closer.

"I don't know, Mai."

"I...like it," I admit, burying my face into the material of his t-shirt.

His hand slips behind my back, warm and comforting even though I have no idea what's happening. And I wish so badly that he would get sudden amnesia so that he wouldn't know what I said. Because I wasn't sure if I was ready for this...and I think I liked it too much.

I've never been so lost...

"Hn," he grunts. "Me too."

My eyes fly open as my thoughts race, mulling over the million possibilities of what that could mean. But I don't have enough time to think about it, because he chuckles.

After awhile, he falls silent, without explanation. And that silence unnerved me now, more than ever.

"What?" I snap, worried and confused. "What are you laughing at?"

"Your heart beats pretty fast. You should probably get that checked out."

Of all the-

Even now, he makes a joke about it.

And...I love him for it.

I lean back slightly, staring him in the eyes as I flick him in the forehead. "Your voice is deep. Its nice to know you've hit puberty. I was starting to wonder."

"Were you?"

I bob my head against his chest, smiling as the tension eased. "Yup. I also wondered if you were a guy."

His hand slides down, dipping to the small of my back, and I shiver again. "Do you know, now?"

I let my eyes fall shut, wondering why his hand being there felt different in the moonlight. "I still have my doubts."

"I'll have to fix that one day."

I fist the sleeve of his shirt. "This is so weird."

"Maybe...but I don't mind."

"What are we?"

He shrugs, his hand moving back to safer territory. "Humans."

"Barely. We _do_ transform, after all."

"You're right. It slipped my mind."

"...but really, are we together?"

He glances down at me and I will myself to look back. "We can't."

And it feels like my heart has been smashed between two trucks when he says that. And I realize how I'm so very deeply in trouble...and how I've fallen for him. Hard. Just like Rin said.

I hate it when she's right.

"I mean that we're not allowed. I want to," he breathes, running his other hand through my hair. Nice enough to not comment on the tangles. "But we-"

"-Can't...I know...can we stay like this, anyway?"

"Yeah...I didn't ask before. But, what did you have a dream about? You were shouting in your sleep."

This time, I sigh, reliving that nightmare. Wanting to talk about almost anything else, but.

"Its the same one I always have. Although I'm starting to wonder if it's a dream...or a memory."

His hand moves to my cheek, caressing it, before dropping to my waist. "Memory?"

"I think it might be...I always see my parents. Well, their feet anyway."

"A foot fetish. Mystery solved."

I smack him on the arm, smirking when he says 'ow.'

"Shut up. I'm opening up to you, and you're making fun of me."

"Sorry...so, what happens when you see them?"

"I feel angry when I look at my Mom, but grieved when I look at my Dad. Both walk away from me and leave me in the streets. Which is why I think its a repressed memory or something."

"That could be," he concedes, tracing my hip bone with his thumb again. "Have you thought about looking for them?"

I nod slightly, closing my eyes. "Of course I've _thought_ about it. But I won't. They don't want me. If my dream- memory, is any indication...I don't want to."

A chill sweeps the air and I shake in reply. I feel him smile, and am sad when he lets me go so that he can sit up. I reluctantly follow suit as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. "Up for hot chocolate? I'll bring you some."

I draw his quilted blanket around me and he takes that as a yes.

Standing in the threshold of the door, he says, "Back in a second."

XxX

That's how we decided to spend the rest of the night. Haru sat with his back to the headboard, sipping on his cup of hot chocolate, while I sat between his legs, resting my head on his shoulder, and downing my own cup. I honestly couldn't tell you how we ended up in this position. We just made an unspoken decision to do it. And neither of us has moved. But in my head, I was thinking ' _Shh_ , just let it happen.'

I let the warm peppermint and cocoa coat my tongue and slip past my teeth; burning lowly in my belly, like a candle, but a welcomed feeling.

Haru hums in silent satisfaction, watching as I bob for the three tiny marshmallows swimming around in the froth. "Do I want to ask?"

"Nope," I giggle - yes, I actually giggle - over the lip of my mug.

The Sohma Summer home had an amazing collection of mugs and cups. Mine was a green and red plaid, with black stripes. Haru's was white and blank, except for the black quotation marks in the center. Somehow, it seemed like a cup made just for him.

It was the strangest thing. But, I think the tension eased up the moment I realized...he was just as confused about all of it as I was. Even though he had the experience, our friendship or relationship, was undefined. Neither of us knew what we were. Strangely, I was okay with it. I took comfort in knowing that we were both working through new feelings. I also knew that one day we'd figure it out together.

Trying to understand feelings was like diffusing a bomb. It makes you panic and leaves you lost and scared. But there's this thrill that comes with it. And that thrill, you find, is worth sticking around for. It's what inspires you to continue forward, regardless of the possible problems that come with it.

He sets his cup down on the wooden nightstand, but I hold onto mine; using it to warm my hands, and to keep myself from taking his in mine. I wasn't even sure when I decided that was normal or okay.

"Once upon a time..." he begins, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Ooh! A bedtime story?"

He laughs softly, nodding. "Sure. Anyway...there was a time that my parents were around. But when they were there, they weren't...there. My Dad was constantly going back and forth, doing business deals with foreign countries and meeting with diplomats, granting them diplomatic immunity.

"Mom was more concerned about looking young and feeling young than she was about me. She frequented places with guys in their 20's; bars, frat parties, strip clubs...anywhere that she could."

His voice is pained. I can hear it, even though he tries to mask it with his monotone. And his tone and words make my heart hurt, and any words I was going to say die on my lips before I utter them.

"My parents never seemed to care about me, or each other. They spent more time in someone else's bed than they did their own...I kind of did the same," he laughs, bitterly and harshly.

"One day, my Dad left for a trip to South America, and that was the last I saw or heard of him. Mom eloped with a guy five years older than me, and the last I saw her, she didn't even acknowledge me. She just, pretended I wasn't there."

I crane my head to look at him, but he doesn't even spare a glance in my direction. He's just staring at the comforter, ashamed, and picking at one of its loose threads.

Even though he's silent, I can tell he's pushing his emotions back. Again.

I set my own cup aside before shifting around so that I face him full on. And I kneel in front of him, tilting his chin so that he has to look at me.

I try my best to keep my own emotions at bay, staring back at blankness. At the guy whom never allowed himself to feel anything. At least, I wondered if he ever feels anything, and if all the laughter and smiles have been fake.

And what happened to make him this way...

"You can cry, Haru...you can feel sad. You can feel angry. If you keep emotions bottled up, you'll break down, and it'll be hard to stop."

I cup his cheeks, feeling a surge of sadness attempting to break the dam that was holding back my own tears. Tears I didn't deserve to shed and hadn't in years.

It's just like what I was always told; I was a weapon and nothing more. I lost sight of that for a while...and allowed myself to feel things for people, trying to be human. I wasn't supposed to - according to Ryu - but I did anyway.

Haru wasn't a weapon, though. He was a person. But somehow, he had a better handle on his emotions than I did after years of desensitization.

Maybe I just wanted him to have what I couldn't; a right and entitlement to let emotions take over, even for a time. To feel something, even if it plunges you deeper into the dark.

He blinks back at me, his eyes heavy and laden with blackness. The black in his eyes spills into the grey, like an oil stain, swirling and mixing with solemn and hurt. I'm not sure what to do, but he takes charge; reaching for both of my hands and puts them in my lap, distancing himself.

"That's funny...you're doing the same thing," he remarks, darkly.

He clasps his hands together, his rings clinking with the movement, as his eyes bore into mine. And all emotion that I could see before, disappeared, and was replaced with nothing.

"I'm not...I mean- it's different for me," I try to explain, stumbling over my words, while focusing my attention anywhere except on him.

He scoffs and fiddles with his rings, spinning the one on his thumb with unexpected fervor. His eyes glaze over, refusing to let any tears escape that black cesspool, as if forbidden.

"How is that?" He asks at last, folding his arms. "How is different for me?"

My head bows, automatically, systematically. _You were supposed to do what I said._ It was so familiar, like Ryu scolding me, and I hated that it reminded me of him. It never ceases to amaze me, that he's tainted my life, even from behind bars.

But I know I need to answer him now. And whatever feelings he had for me, would disappear with our friendship, fizzling away like it never was. Because knowing the truth about someone, changes the way you look at them forever. And once you know, that's what you think about when you see them.

And it was probably for the best.

 _Property of Ryu_ would be all he thinks about when he sees me. My brand. My tag...my mark that would never fade away. Sometimes, I can still feel the hot coals from when he stamped his name into my skin. How the flesh of my wrist was pink and it burned for days after that night, and could still be felt, like a phantom limb.

I take a deep breath, subconsciously rubbing my wrist, because it hurt.

"I'm nothing like you Haru. Do you see this?" I ask, flipping my arm around so that he sees the letters engraved into the inside of my wrist. "I used to be a criminal. You thought _you_ were the bad guy, but you couldn't be more wrong."

I pause, gauging his reaction, and he gives a slight nod, encouraging me to continue.

"When my parents left me in the streets that night, I had no one. I couldn't remember what it was like to live in a place with four walls after living in between an alley of two for so long. I would get sick a lot, contracting different colds from the food I found in the dumpsters.

"The eve of my sixth birthday, he found me. I was just…so _relieved_ to have a chance of food and water. A home with air condition and an actual place to sleep. I thought he was kind at first, just wanting to do what's right. But he taught me that wasn't how the world worked. He taught me that people _always_ want something in return, and that there was no one good left."

I twirl the gemstone around my neck, letting my gaze fall to his rings; steeling myself.

"I delivered drugs for him. Stole for him… _killed_ for him. And in return, I got a hot meal every night, clothes on my back, and a bed to sleep in. But, I-"

I swallow thickly – the dam weakening again – and suck in a breath to steady myself.

"I _regret_ everything about it. I wished I'd just...I just wished I was never found, instead of doing what I had back then…and I can't go back. I can't change things. And I wouldn't blame Haneul if he never forgave me."

"Who's Haneul?" Haru asks, tension ebbing and flowing again.

I let go of the gemstone so that it swings freely, pulling my legs to my chest, and resting my chin atop them. "Someone I paralyzed from one of Ryu's jobs…"

"I see," He drawls, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I didn't know."

"Yeah…"

Silence drops over the room like a weight, and I find it harder to keep myself from breaking. Because I know my chances with Haru are probably slim to none after telling him. Who wants to go out with someone that worked with a felon? I can see it now; barb wire engagement rings, an orange jumpsuit for a wedding dress, and prison slop for a wedding cake.

Fun…

Suddenly, Haru yanks me by the hand – for the second time tonight – and pulls me into his arms. But this time is different than the first. This time, I feel… lighter. Like a burden is gone now that I've told him. The worst is over, and whether he'll accept me or not, I got it off my chest after hiding it for so long.

"I like you, Mai. A lot. I don't care about what you used to do. I care about you, and I would want you to feel the same towards me. Even though I've screwed up so many times."

He sighs and I allow myself the luxury of throwing my arms around his neck, relaxing into his embrace.

"We'll get through this together."

I feel a smile attempt to surface, and this time, I let it happen. And I manage to rebuild that dam, just for a little while longer…until I'm ready to deal with those emotions.

* * *

 **This story isn't over. Not even by a _long_ shot. There's quite a bit of ground left to cover, missions to happen, and events to occur.**

 **Are they together? Not quite…**

 ** _Will_** **they be together? We'll see ;)**

 **I hope you enjoyed the longest chapter ever. It's probably longer than Rapunzel's weave xD Yeah, I went there. I've been throwing shade since 19…whatever year I was born. I can't remember lol Oh, right…1913.**

 **Alright, enough of my weirdness. I have a new idea in mind for Author's Notes…**

 **Questions for you, if you want to answer them. :)**

 **As long as I feel like it lol**

 **Question #1: Who is your _favorite_ Fruits Basket Character? And who is your _least_ favorite character?**

 **My favorites are: Haru, Kagura (weird, I know), Hanajima, Momiji, Shigure, and Ayame. (Although I love Kyo too…)**

 **My least favorites: Akito, Ren, and Hiro.**

 **And this is _totally_ off topic (and this Author's Note is quickly becoming ridiculous xD) but there have been so many music comebacks lately that have just slayed every part of my being...and I'm done. Its too much, but I don't want it to stop lol**

 **Kuramasgirl19769: Hopefully this one was done right. I'm still getting used to writing "romance" and things like it :)**

 **The High Queen Of Angst: What an odd image that put in my head xD She had a bigger role in this chapter ^_^ She's one of the characters that made me laugh most in Fruits Basket. Shh...just let it happen :p Kyo is infiltrating. Me too! But his personality is extremely delicate, because he is cheery but I don't want him to come off as immature. My sweet Momiji. That's what I'm saying lolol**

 **Koneko the Fangirl: Ah, but the mission for the next chapter will be...something :) I'm excited for it. And I will actually cover the mission more than I did this chapter. I kind of focused more on the HaruxMai dynamic with a hint of Kyo and Kagura. But thank you for reviewing again. And for recommending the anime series'. I really want to check them out.**

 **Alright. The vacation will trickle into the next chapter along with the start of a new mission.**

 **Peace out! :3**


	10. Chapter 10: The Naked Truth

**Chapter Ten: The Naked Truth**

I smile as I feel the sun warm my pale skin. The sound of birds chirping swells out of gratitude for the embers of yellow that surrounds them, carrying worms to their hatchlings; basking in the heat and familiar.

Haru and I walk alongside one another; not touching, just walking together. To anyone else, we look like friends; which we were. But we were more than that.

In the open, we looked like the same Mai and Haru that arrived at the Sohma Summer Home; distant but cordial. But whenever no one was around, I'd reach for his hand, and he'd respond in kind with secretive smiles and private glances. And more often than not, I was too enamored with him to think straight.

Despite the fact that I promised I'd never become one of those girls.

I focus my gaze on the boutiques and customers that span the main street, smoothing out the cotton fabric of my lavender sun dress. I didn't usually wear the sundresses that Tohru recommended, but it seemed to fit me somehow. Today, I was walking in the sun, right next to someone named after the sun...and it felt strange.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Haru grabs my arm, gingerly, pulling me to a stop in front of a small shop. It looked to have sold knickknacks, novelty items, and cheap items. I follow Haru inside the store, dipping under the low overhang, and wind chimes twinkle to announce our arrival.

Mustache shaped hangers and snow globes sat on one of the center tables. Googly eyes, glow-in-the-dark boxing gloves, and silly putty were adjacent to it.

A woman sprung up from behind the counter, flipping her curly honey locks over her shoulder. When her pea green eyes land on us, she crosses the room in a heartbeat, nearly bowling us over in the process.

She spares us a grin - pink lipstick caking her teeth - and hops up onto the table, right next to a rack of sunglasses.

"Hi! Can I interest either of you in a pair of laser chopsticks? Or, maybe you'd rather look into the robo-operated back massage."

Haru bows and I do the same so as to not appear rude. When we both right ourselves, he throws an arm over my shoulders, and gives her a small smile.

"Thanks for the offer, but... she gives great massages already."

"Excuse me?" I look up at him, an eyebrow raised in indignation.

He shakes his head, pulling me closer to him. "She's just modest. But I'm actually here to see if you sell any silver necklaces or rings."

Seriously? If he was looking for quality, this place isn't it. And judging by the three dark strands of beads and chains dangling from his neck, they looked homemade, so I had no clue why he was even interested to begin with.

The woman beams, clapping her hands together like a seal. "Of course! Well, cheap jewelry. But sugar, I can personally guarantee that nothing turns your skin green. So that's always nice."

Haru scratches his chin in thought, his grey eyes flitting around the room in indecision.

With a shrug of his shoulders, he says, "Thanks. But maybe some other time."

The woman scowls. Her un-plucked eyebrows furrowing, deeply, before she vaults off the table. "Fine," she snarls, starting towards the back. "If you change your mind, I'll be re-stocking the shelves."

Haru sighs, moving his arm from around my shoulder, and looking through the shelves and shelves of tacky merchandise.

"Someone needs fiber."

He snorts, looking over the instructions for fuzzy blue handcuffs. "Or sleep."

"Or sex."

We both exchange an awkward glance before I pretend to busy myself with the silly putty.

Why did I say that? I thought my foot-in-mouth syndrome was cured and I was in remission by now. But, of course, I say something stupid. Again. And it was funny because I never really _thought_ about sex until this year. I mean, sure...I learned about it back in middle school. But I never thought about it beyond that. I'd made the mistake of thumbing through Japan's answer to Cosmo - that Foxy brought to school - and have never been the same.

Some things, were better left unknown.

Suddenly, a kind voice saves me from my embarrassment. "Mai," Tohru bubbles, turning a corner of the store. "I didn't expect to run into you. You either, Hatsuharu."

I grin, letting myself be enveloped in one of her motherly hugs, and the smell of vanilla and something akin to bubble bath, shrouds me just before she releases me.

"Hey Tohru. Haru and I are on a little break, and we decided to see what the town had to offer. What brings you here? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

She lightly runs a french-manicured nail over the glass of a Christmas snow globe; captivated by the flakes of pseudo-snow swirling around in the bowl, draping the train inside in a blanket of white.

The tips of her ears turn rose, and her cheeks turn scarlet as she sputters an answer, "I'm here...to visit my boyfriend."

Ah. The mystery man she told me about.

I glance in Haru's direction, to see him occupied with a retro pinball machine - far out of ear shot - before turning towards Tohru.

"If you tell me, I won't say anything. But I'm really curious about who this guy is. Is he cute? Intelligent? Athletic? I need details."

The blushing brunette winds up the golden key to startup the snow globe again, and her voice drops to a barely intelligible squeak. "He's...um, someone I met at the beach nearby." She tucks a strand of chocolate behind a very red ear; never once tearing her gaze from the powder spinning around in its glass house.

"Alright, I'm done interrogating. I actually wanted to ask you something."

Tohru perks up at the attention moving off of her and onto me. "Okay! Anything."

I check to make sure Haru hasn't moved from his spot before continuing. "I want to open a charity of some kind. And I wanted to know how I go about doing that."

Her eyes light up like the cheap strobe lights dangling from the ceiling and she bounces on her heels. "That's exciting! And so kind of you. What do you have in mind?"

"I wanted to raise funds to help people that suffer from gun shot wounds and to pay for their treatment. But I'm not sure if I'll actually go through with it. I don't know...maybe I'm stupid to even try."

She spins on her heel so fast, I'm concerned she got whiplash, and she almost sends the electric green boxing gloves flying. "No, its not stupid at all. How do you plan to get the funds together?" Her words bubble with the excitement coloring her cheeks and brightening her eyes; waiting patiently for my answer.

"I have no idea...I don't have any talents that can earn me money."

For the first time since I've met her, she looks skeptical. "You can't dance?"

"I'm okay, I guess. But not yen worthy."

"Any sports?"

"I suck at gynmastics...but I can play basketball."

She snaps her fingers, beaming as if competing with the intensity of the sun. "Great! Why not host a basketball tournament to raise money?"

Now its my turn to break out into a grin, and I smother Tohru out of gratitude. "Why didn't I think of that? Do you think you could hold a bakesale? I understand if you're busy."

She shakes her head frantically, almost slapping me in the face with streams and strands of chocolate. "Of course, I don't mind. What day are you thinking of?"

Well, we were on break for four more days...and there are three holidays coming up. Holidays typically meant people spending money on gifts and decorations, not games and cookies. But if Tohru made Christmas cookies and I finished off the fall season with a basketball tournament, it would get people amped up for the holidays, and bring in plenty of yen.

"I'm thinking the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Sound good?"

She bobs her head, and I feel her smile. "It sounds wonderful."

XxX

"Ok! Who's idea was it for a co-ed Hot Springs?!" My screech rings out, drawing the attention of everyone within a five mile radius.

Shigure and Ayame just guffaw; one arm linked around the other's waist and laughing at my expense.

Haru was submerged in the steamy water on the far end; a white folded up towel resting on his head, and his black eyes level with my own. I decided to wear my bathing suit instead of going au naturel in a sea of men.

Rin and Kagura both decided to be smart about it and hole up in their shared room.

Sometimes, I believed that when my parents left me, they took my brain with them.

Hiro and Kyo both glare in their direction and Kisa sits on the edge of the hot springs; pink cheeked and dangling her feet in the water.

I couldn't even enjoy the blissful oasis that was a hot springs because of the fact that practically everyone was naked, and I was not one to do that sort of thing. You couldn't pay me enough yen to get naked in front of a bunch of people.

"Let's play a game, shall we?" Shigure suggests, earning heated stares from a few women.

"Let's not," Kyo and I quip in unison.

Ayame flips his long hair over his shoulder, shaking his head adamantly. "But what would be a fun game to play with all these _lovely_ maidens?"

"How about hide and seek? Its very apropos for our situation."

"Or peek-a-boo?"

"Marco polo?"

"I have a game," I break in, brightening as the idea forms. "How about...we play, 'Mai Chases Shigure And Ayame And Beats Them With Whatever She Can Find' game?"

Shigure whimpers, ducking behind his equally irritating companion. "So hurtful. Where's Ayure when you need a shield?"

"That tears it. Come here!" I shout, starting for the idiots as they swim away, and an arm wraps around my waist. Haru pulls me against him, and holds me in place - like a black and white anchor - while I try to break out of his hold, and beat the stuffing out of them.

"Haru! Let me go!"

"Shh," he hushes, patting my hair. "Remember...deep breaths and count to ten. You have to learn to control your anger, Mai. Its poisoning you and keeping you from enjoying a happy life."

I sigh, allowing myself to relax in his embrace, and stop struggling. "Where'd you get that from?"

"The back of a cereal box. Or was it a poster...?"

I flick him in the forehead before resting against him. "I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Moo Man."

A smile tugs at his lips as he tightens his hold. "At least you're not lactose intolerant."

"Well, actually..."

XxX

"After you're done with making the bed, you need to give the patient in 501 a sponge bath, and replace the bedpans on the entire second floor," my temporary boss orders, running through a check list on her black clipboard.

I raise my hand, saluting her, before bouncing a coin off the fresh linen. Perfectly done fitted sheet with hospital corners; check. And fitted sheets were _always_ a pain to handle. So imagine my surprise when it didn't fly off the opposite corner when I stretched it over another. I wonder if I'd see Kagura flying if I looked out the window.

"Aye, aye, captain!" I exclaim, grinning when she rolls her eyes, and stalks off. She loved me, she just didn't know how to show it.

I'm working as an intern at the nearby hospital for a few reasons.

Reason #1 For my cover.

Mr Hashirama would get suspicious at my source of income if I didn't work _somewhere_.

Reason #2 I loved it and it was my twisted version of a stress reliever.

I'd started working here just the week before, and I'd never slept better. I could say that I was using the gig as a way to deal with guilt; helping people and working at the very hospital Haneul was admitted to awhile back. But, I don't miss insomnia, and would much rather not admit that to myself. Or anyone else, for that matter.

The one thing I absolutely _loathed_ about my internship, cleaning out bedpans.

The guy with hematuria almost made me quit.

Almost.

The door bangs open, and a man with charcoal black hair streaked with sandy, wheels in the next patient.

He looks at me for half a second before hooking the elderly patient up to an IV drip. "Sup, Mai."

I laugh, taking long strides to stand at his side. "Hey Ashi. I haven't seen you in awhile."

He chuckles as he places the older man's index finger inside the Pulse Fingertip Oxometer. "I'm just as surprised that we ran into each other at all. Especially after I let you drive my Bentley a few days ago."

I shove at him slightly, groaning in exasperation. Both he and Haru never gave me a break when it came to my driving skills. So I bumped a few curbs and almost dinged an expensive car...at least I passed my drivers test. Eventually.

"Shut up. I drive well enough."

After jotting down his patient's pulse, he clicks his pen to retract it, and another bemused sound slips past his lips. "Sure...okay, Mai. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

I stick my tongue out at him, before handing the patient the sleek black remote control. "Feel free to flip to any channel you like. We have basic cable here, so I apologize."

He attempts to stifle a wet cough into his hand, then a smile lifts his dry and chapped lips, splitting the corner of them and bleeding slightly. "That's fine, miss. Its better than what I got at home. Too bad bootleg is illegal."

"True that," I murmur in agreement, watching as Ashi dabs at the crimson on the man's lips, and giving him a sip of water.

"When's the last time you hydrated, sir?"

He scratches at his balding scalp, looking to the ceiling in thought. "A day or two ago. Unless you count Four Roses scotch and coke."

Ashi runs a hand through a tuft of blonde. "Unfortunately, that isn't a substitute for water." He flips through his chart, a silver wedding band gleaming under the fluorescent lights. "What were your symptoms, Ogata-san?"

Ogata clasps his hands together, over his beer belly. "I've been having trouble sleeping at night. I keep waking up around three or four in the morning, but I can usually go back to sleep thirty minutes later. But when I wake up, I'm always thirsty. That's when I usually grab a can of the good stuff to help me sleep."

"Ah," Ashi chimes in, nodding for him to continue.

"And I always feel _so_ tired, which is why I fell asleep at the wheel this afternoon. And I've been forgetting so much lately, but was tested negative for Alzheimers. My heart's still ticking, but its a bit rusty and dusty nowadays. Haven't been able to clear the cobwebs off my brain either."

Ashi records this information before shutting the metallic clipboard, his eyebrows pinched, and his green eyes filled with concentration like he was about to make the greatest deduction since Sherlock. I supposed that made me Watson.

"Ogata-san, I believe you have a severe case of Sleep Apnea. And you seem to be compounding the symptoms by dehydration and from what I heard, your workaholic tendencies. First we need to check for tonsilitis and tonsil stones to make sure that isn't the cause, then we'll see from there."

"The game's afoot," I add, weakly.

"What?"

"Nothing."

XxX

The moment I arrive back at the dorm, I notice a stack of mail on the welcome mat. Our welcome mat was something I'd picked out myself. It was black with red cherries and green stems. Had I let my roommate have her way, it would have been black with skulls, or a 'keep out' welcome mat.

I push the door open with my foot, looking through the envelopes for the rare few that had my name stamped onto them. And much to my surprise, there was one out of the five that was addressed to me.

After tossing her stack of letters onto her unmade bed, I hop onto my own, and run a nail under the flaps of a light blue envelope. Not caring to reserve it, I tear it open, and unfold the packet inside.

It was from the agency.

 _Dear Mai Sohma,_

 _We are pleased to have you working with us and have been impressed with the progress you have made. With a total of six successful missions, you have caught the Agency's eye, and we are interested in offering you your mandated Specialization Qualifying Exam. With your first exam, we determine what your skills qualify you for, and recommend a branch to specialize in._

 _The Branches available are as follows:_

 _\- Bomb Squad_

 _\- Interrogation_

 _\- Surveillance_

 _-_ _Linguistics/Transmissions_

 _\- Coding_

 _\- Weaponry_

 _\- Undercover/Incognito_

 _\- Counterintelligence Threat Analysis_

 _\- Assassin Elites_

 _And it would not mean that you no longer work in the field, but you can be certified, and be called to more missions that utilize your qualifications. When you are ready, fill out the attached application; we will schedule your testing date, and will notify of your results within the week._

 _Thank You For Your Continued Service,_

 _SA_

XxX

"Oh! Jin!" A sultry blonde on the screen cried out. "You just make me so-"

"What? What do I make you, Elli?" The hunk-that-wasn't-really-a-hunk asked.

"So-"

"Yes?"

"Happy."

Rin and I roll our eyes in unison. I always found it ridiculous when someone asked a question, then cut off whomever was supposed to answer. It always drove me insane. And this happened a _lot_ on _Love Leaves Me Breathless._

I scoop up another handful of buttery popcorn, watching as the poorly written scene jumps to commercial.

"They're always blonde. Even though they speak Japanese."

Rin snorts, taking a sip from her glass of chardonnay (the one she stole, mind you). "And they have to have an IQ of negative twenty-five."

"And be a size zero."

"And a housewife."

"Or someone pregnant that's being cheated on."

Rin sighs over the lip of her wine glass, fogging it up with an amused exhale. "I hate this show."

"Same."

We both look at each other before bursting into laughter. The show was awful; no-name actors, obvious wigs, terrible makeup, and equally awful writing. But, that was the fun of it, I supposed.

And we hadn't watched that much...

Just two seasons worth.

Now I know why ibuprofen was the main sponsor.

XxX

The sound of pins crashing and bowling balls rolling across wood echo off the walls of the bowling alley. Couples teach one another how to play and the ball often rolls into the gutter because of their obvious distraction; friends compete and laugh over a tray of nachos and a game of who can pickup the most spares. As for my group?

Well, Tohru, Saki, and Kisa were on my team after coaxing the boys into a battle of the sexes game. Haru, Yuki, Shigure, and Ayame were the ones we convinced. Hatori and Rin decided to sit it out, and were left with Ayure watch.

I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to miss out on the fun. But...

Basketball I was good at. Bowling? Not so much.

"I've seen the outcome and it is not the desired one," Saki explains, a tone of warning dripping from her otherwise indifferent inflection.

Ayame and Shigure simply take a step forward - as if joined at the hip - and they both trade elbow nudges to the ribs, gaiety acting as kerosene to the mischievous flame in their eyes. "Perhaps not for you four, dear maiden," Shigure offers, not even bothering to hide the mirth and arrogance in his voice.

Yuki rolls his eyes and Haru smirks slightly, his grey eyes scanning my face for any trace of concern and regret for taking them on. I stalk over, and poke him in the chest rather than smacking the smug look off his face.

"Just because we tied in basketball _doesn't_ mean you'll beat me this time."

His gaze flickers to my lips before returning to my eyes, and its almost as if he wanted me to take notice of his detour, just then. He stills my movements, latching onto my hand and holding it against himself. His heartbeat thrums against it and warms my palm; before I know it, I forget what I just said and find myself staring at his own lips; the part of him that was quickly becoming my favorite.

He exhales and I mimic his action; the heat between us mingles and beckons me closer to him. And I almost throw caution to the wind and kiss him, when laughter snaps me out of my trance and reminds me of where we are.

"Haru! You can make out with your woman later. You're our best hope of winning this," Shigure calls, cupping his mouth to project his already loud voice.

I practically jump back, putting space between the two of us, and I pivot to head back towards my own team. But not before Haru grabs my hand to pull me to a stop. I glance back at him and he gives me a smile that seems heartfelt and genuine. His ringed fingers interlace and fill the gaps of my own, and it sends the heated desire of embracing him and kissing him through me again.

"What are you doing?" I inquire, flushing at how breathy my voice sounds.

He steps closer, picking up on it, and his free hand moves to my waist. I hurriedly look over my shoulder and am thankful that no one sees (especially not Hatori) because word could get back to Akito in an instant.

"Measuring your ring finger."

I can't help but laugh and it eases the panic from me; once again, not understanding yet another one of Haru's random trains of thought.

"Gee...here I was, thinking that it was because you liked me. Silly me."

His eyes darken and we're standing toe to toe - almost a breath apart - as he leans down until his lips are against my ear. A shudder involuntarily overtakes me and I almost sigh at how wonderful feels, in itself.

"If I wanted to show you that I liked you, I'd do this," he whispers, running his mouth down to my earlobe and trailing my neck and back up until his lips meet my jawline and I resist the urge to take it a step further by turning my head.

The thrill of him and being out in the open send adrenaline rushing through my veins and my heart pounds in exhilaration. My jaw drops slightly, in accordance to the small gasp that escapes me, and his lips land on my flaming red cheek. And I find it increasingly difficult to remember the simple things, like my name or how to inhale and exhale.

All I want is for him to continue and make me breathe his name. To have Haru dragged from my lips in the wisp of a moan, and I didn't no how else to explain this want other than a primal and vital need.

Just from a simple kiss, and I was suddenly wanting him to do something more...having never experienced that, that fact alone threatened to break up the euphoria and force me back to being the uptight person I was. But around him, I was calmer...more relaxed, even with the racing of my heart and the rushing of blood to my head.

"That was only the beginning," he rasps, pulling back from me, and thrusting his hands into his pockets. Even though he'd been further than I have, I could tell that the buzz of sneaking around and hiding what was between us, elated him as it did me.

I, unable to say anything, just stare in silence as he returns to his group, right before I return to my own.

And I'm so flustered that I don't even cheer when we win by a last minute split from Kisa.

Because I'm busy wondering what Haru meant about _that_ only being the beginning of what he would do to me.

XxX

A robe of black silk feels luxurious as it sweeps my slightly bruised skin; concealing the reward for missions and thrashings from my second year of high school. This was the first mission Haru and I were called out on emergency, not even giving us a chance for a formal briefing. We were just given the gist and sent on our merry way.

Or, grouchy way, in my sleep-deprived case.

I'm posing as a supermodel whom is receiving death threats for her snarky and hateful words in recent interviews and social media posts. The idea is to keep her out of the spotlight and out of harm's way while the agency is investigating the IP Address to tracing the source of the threats.

Because much to my chagrin, I look like a spitting image of the world's shortest Chinese model, Lilli Lin. And I owed my thanks to my Mom for that one. Or her ancestors, actually. My heritage was the only thing I bothered to check after someone asking what village I came from in Hong Kong.

The makeup artist beside me that blushes every five seconds - because she thinks I'm Lilli and is starstruck - tells me that they'll need to cover up the abrasions and lacerations on my skin.

I spare her a look of puzzlement. "Why? Won't my outfit hide it? The bruises are pretty high up on my arms and legs; they should be out of sight."

Her amazed expression mirrors my own confoundment and she gives an awkward laugh. "Um...no. You do remember what shoot this is, right? You won't be wearing _any_ clothes for this."

What?!

Wasn't I _just_ saying the other day, that you couldn't pay me enough to get nude in front of a bunch of people. And now, this chick is saying that I have to?

Oh _heck_ to the no!

I barely notice my grip tighten around the back of the styling chair, and the worry that paints the woman's features, as if expecting me to explode at any second. Which, she would be right to anticipate, because there was no chance of me completing this mission.

 _But if you don't, Akito might reassign you. There's always a chance of that._

Yeah...

 _Or he'd decrease the amount of missions you receive. Oh no! What if its worse and...you're permanently suspended?_

I didn't think of that...and I've worked so hard for this. For years. And its one of the only things I have.

But, this is the last thing I would dream of doing. I've always been uncomfortable sans clothes, whether by myself or not. I honestly don't get how people can be like that in front of each other when the mere thought of looking at myself makes me faint like Tohru.

So yeah, I'm sort of...scared in that way. Which is why the constant back-to-back seduction missions have been driving me crazy.

"Miss Lilli? Are you okay? You seem to have zoned out." A timid voice cuts into my thoughts and yanks me back down to earth. And its rather unfortunate because I would rather remain in limbo, spacing out for all eternity, and not stripping down in front of everybody.

 _And Haru._

Haru?! I didn't even think about him!

I flop down in the chair; air hissing in response, and deflating like I was. With each tick of the clock, I knew the moment was getting closer, and soon I'd have to grin and bear it, just because there was so much on the line.

My career. My dignity. A woman's life...they all hung in the balance, just like that moment in the alley when I was forced to make a decision. One where someone would lose either way, and that someone was always me.

The kind woman that was in charge of hiding my wounds, hugs me, quickly, before popping open her makeup kit; she retrieves brushes, foundation, and concealer before she sets to work. I try to focus on the strokes of the brush and not the clock's constant proclamations. But it doesn't work because I was about to face my worst fear, and it tensed my shoulders and stiffened my spine.

And I couldn't believe that I was about to go through with my ninth mission.

And it was the first time that I wasn't excited.

That I wasn't filled with adrenaline.

But fear.

And I almost stopped breathing when I was called by my cover name.

Because that meant it was go time.

XxX

With how badly my anxiety was ripping me apart, I didn't even have a moment to think about anything else; or anyone else. Just all the eyes and camera lenses that would be exposed to my naked body, under the guise that I was someone else entirely.

When asked about the change in management, Haru's answer was being hired as replacement for the agent that called in sick. He even threw in a few 'how unprofessional' statements to further sell his act of being a flamboyant modeling agent. And he looked to have taken a page out of Ayame's book adorned in scarves, a partially unbuttoned shirt, and shades that rested on the bridge of his nose; his way of dressing the part of manager with a designer complex.

I know...I didn't get it either.

I take my seat on the black, cheap stool in the center of a room of white. A photographer and his assistant are adjusting the camera's settings and craft service along with the lighting crew are rushing about to double check that everything is set.

Haru meets my eyes, and he must notice I'm as pale as a sheet because he mouths, 'Are you okay?'

I bob my head before turning away from him, too ashamed to face him anymore, as the photographer's footfalls draw my attention.

"Lilli! How are you darling?" He prods, pecking me on one cheek and then the other; not bothering to wait for my answer, he snatches his grande latte from the manicured hand of his assistant, before taking a few swigs.

"I'm...well. Its my job to be well, isn't it?" I mumble in askance, slipping into my facade, and ignoring the burn of bile in the back of my throat.

He fans himself - from the hot drink, no doubt- before taking another sip. "Yes, of course. What could you possibly have to be upset about? Although there is the bad media attention you've been getting lately. How are you holding up, dearest?"

I shrug. "Fine, Pierre. People just can't stand the fact that I'm not afraid to speak my mind. To think I'm scrutinized for that..."

Pierre shakes his head, his lips curling in disgust. "Yes, love...I absolutely side with you on this. Just last week I tweeted about my dog and her cute little pink dress. Imagine the backlash I received for her wearing cashmere. People can be so cruel, can't they?"

"You're telling me."

He claps his hands together; grabbing the attention of makeup to apply any last finishing touches to my face before has a bubble gum screen brought out for me to change behind. "Alright, Lilli...its time for you to vogue. Are you ready, you hot young thing, you?"

I give him nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement before I'm shoved behind the divider and am given my last chance to back out...or follow through. A floor-length mirror reflects my made up face and body. I run my freshly painted, black nails along the string of matching silk that holds the robe closed and is the final step between modesty and vulnerability.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and suck in a breath as I yank the cord, and the robe falls to the floor; no sound of finality or fanfare for the bold step I took in going head to head with my phobia. It was just me, the unforgiving glass, and the people just outside of the screen.

I know knew the guts it took for Foxy to glide down that brass pole every night.

And I had to say, that she was amazing for not being scared about it...or nearly crying because she was so stricken with terror because she was in front of so...many...scrutinizing and cold glares. Or upturned noses and judgmental frowns.

People making money off the exploitation of my forgone dignity.

I didn't know. But now, I did.

I make my way around the bubble that momentarily protected me, and reclaim my seat on the stool. I don't lift my gaze the entire way over, knowing that Haru saw me, fully, before we'd even called ourselves anything.

Only thankful that he couldn't see the scars from where Ryu hit me, and used whatever had the sharpest edge in a drunken rage.

The makeup artists saw me as a canvas.

The photographers saw me as their money maker.

And Haru...he saw me, for me.

He saw me for whom I was and nothing was hidden from him any longer.

Nothing.

XxX

After my near breakdown at the photo shoot, I decided to get a much-needed coffee fix. As usual, I started for New Leaf, determined to get the strongest cup of espresso Mr Hashirma didn't hock a loogie into.

Until...

I heard crying. And no, it wasn't Ayure.

I turn the corner of the dilapidated building - that was New Leaf - and see Foxy; curled up next to the dumpster, shuddering with tears I didn't know she was capable of shedding. I honestly thought she was some kind of unfeeling cyborg. But I think I've been mixing her up with me all this time.

I stop just in front of her and the moment my boots appear in her line of sight, she stops. She swipes at the tears and snot streaming down her face; eyeliner and mascara clinging to the back of her hand in the process.

And she looks...not herself.

"Hey, Foxy," I start, awkwardly. "Whatcha doing?"

She rolls her eyes, resting her head against the building, just below a piece of mint gum. "I'm making out with a pig. What does it look like I'm doing?"

I bite my lip - a show of friendly restraint - and drop down so that I'm resting on my feet. "You okay?"

She looks up at me in shock; her malachite eyes big and amazed, like I just told her that we should be 'besties' and skip off into the sunset together.

After a few more seconds, the shock falls away, and fades into the sadness that was so unlike her.

"No...but do you really care? You should be happy that I'm not trying to flirt with everything with heartbeat."

I cringe at her words, recalling how nervous I'd been during the mission, and realizing the bravery it took to do what she did. Sirens in the distance drown out the rest of her soft spoken words, and for a moment, I hesitate to ask her to repeat them.

But I do.

She groans, running a hand through her fiery mane, and making a sour face at the sticky residue on the back of her hand.

"My mom...I don't really know why I'm telling _you_ this, but who even cares now? Anyway, my mom was a prostitute. I don't have a clue what she is now because we don't talk. Ever. Her _jerk_ of a boyfriend and his friend...did some things to me. Several times."

"Things?" I ask, my voice cracking out of surprise. "Did they hurt you?"

She breaks out into laughter; painfully shrill and encased in sobs that I'd momentarily forgotten about.

"Did they hurt me...? They raped me. Both of them. When I was only eleven. And they didn't care at all about how it was gonna screw me up. They just did it. So, why should it matter to me? It didn't bother my mom when I told her. She just said, 'oh, they're just playing.' Like people say 'boys will be boys' to give them a free pass. It always makes me sick."

I look away, feeling intrusive and awkward about her confessing all of this to me when we were supposed to be rivals...enemies.

"What choice did _I_ have but to embrace it? No one wants you once you're raped. They'll feel like they're playing second fiddle to a guy you never even wanted. Because every time you have sex, you think of who ruined sex for you. It didn't help that it ran in my family and my mom was raped back when she was thirteen. I had no one to turn to. I don't even know who my dad is...he could be anyone at this rate."

"Um," I try to speak, but it comes out garbled. Like I'm trying to keep the sadness out of my words. "Is that why you- I mean...is that why you..."

"-Strip? Just say it, Mai. Its not like you to have trouble talking to me. I mean, I know I'm beautiful and all..."

"Yeah, don't get ahead of yourself."

She shakes her head, redirecting her gaze to the sky. "I'm kidding. I'm totally hideous. I just say that to make myself feel better."

"Really? You're gorgeous. How can you not see that?"

She tenses, hugging her sides, and refusing to look at me. "I'm not...they told me so."

Silence cuts into our conversation and I wait, patiently as I dare. Even though I hated the quiet, I knew that she needed it, and I had nothing to offer. I'd always felt lame apologizing for someone's struggles, and I'd never been in her shoes to help. I was actually at a loss for words when it came to Foxy.

That's never happened.

All of a sudden, she nudges me to get my attention, and her scarlet frown becomes a thin line. "Don't think this makes us friends, Mai...I was upset, and there was no one to talk to. You're just...here."

"Gee, thanks," I retort dryly.

But I knew what she was really saying. It was hidden behind a snarky tone, but the words were there.

'Thank You.'

And although I was glad to have listened, she was right about one thing.

We were still rivals. But, maybe I could stand to tolerate her every once in a while.

Maybe.

XxX

I learned about a custom - in America - known as Thanksgiving. And its a time where people talk about what they're grateful for, dine on food they are blessed with, and spend time with family (although I never understood saying you're thankful on that day, and fighting tooth and nail for a discount on Black Friday).

And it has been _years_ since I've given it much thought. I spent most of the time training at the academy and ignoring family events. Like the night when Parents got to visit the academy and it was like a mini-reunion between semesters. It helped to soothe the homesick and loved, giving them the push they needed to finish out their year. While I spent the time at the shooting range or the mess hall or the dojo to improve what would get me somewhere in life.

So, I was surprised when Hashirama invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner; officially making him the _only_ Japanese man I knew that didn't celebrate Thanksgiving Labor Day. But he did have a reputation to maintain, being the type of person that he was; strange... _lovable_... but mainly, strange.

I take my place on the kitchen counter, cup of coffee in hand, swinging my legs, and watching as Hashirama spits on a plate before putting it into the rack of clean bowls and cups. If he wasn't spitting in food, he was spitting on dishes. This was what went on when Tohru wasn't doing dishes and Foxy had other obligations.

"Is there anything you would like to eat, in particular?" He asks, running a hand through his slick black hair, wiping the evidence of hair gel on the front of his jeans.

I make a show of 'thinking it through,' tapping my chin, and looking towards the ceiling. "Hmm...there's just so much to choose from." Eventually, I drop the act and pluck a coffee stirrer from the nearby cup. "Honestly, whatever you make is fine. Well...anything but those dumplings."

He chuckles, folding his arms. "You are right. They are nasty. It keeps pesky customers away."

"It keeps _all_ customers away."

He wags his finger at me. "You stayed. Although, I don't really see you as a customer. I see you like my very own daughter."

I smile, tossing the stirrer into the trash can. "The daughter you never had."

"But the daughter that I wish I did."

"Yeah...how are things going with Mimi anyway?"

Mimi is his real daughter. She was 21, anti-college (which I completely understood), and I always looked up to her when I was younger. She seemed so cool and mature, with snakebites and a septum piercing, high heels, makeup, and boyfriends practically lining up at the door.

Unfortunately, she took to the party scene like a fish to water. Last I heard, she was getting help for loving alcohol a little too much, during the times she wasn't visiting her newest fling in prison. I didn't think less of her or anything, but it always made me sad to think about how she turned out.

Mr Hashirama busies himself with putting the coffee filters on higher shelves and re-arranging dish cloths.

"She...is doing as well as she can. She tells me that she misses you and wants to know if you can visit her sometime. And to invite that boyfriend of yours."

The cup nearly shatters to the floor as I try to make sure I heard him right. He did have a thick Japanese accent, but I knew him long enough to understand him. Usually.

"Wait, did you say boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend, Mr Hasirama."

He waves this away - like its a ridiculous notion - before continuing, "Sure you do. The boy with the odd color hair. I see how close you two become. You remind me of me and wife."

I shake my head, internally raging over how pink my cheeks were, and how girly I was becoming.

"We're just friends. We're co-workers and best friends."

"That means nothing. Do you like him?"

That was a loaded question. Do I like Haru, even though I can't date him? Do I like the guy that deserves better? Do I just like him and is it too early to love him, because I feel like I do?

"You must be honest, pretty girl. Do you have feelings for him?"

"...a little...okay, more than a little. It just can't happen."

He tosses a blue and green rag over his shoulder, puzzlement dancing along his features. "Why not?"

"Our...company doesn't allow it."

"So? Break the rules. Your boss shouldn't be able to decide you cannot be, just because you work together."

I sigh, knowing he didn't get how much was riding on this. He couldn't even know what I did for a living because he wasn't legally my Dad.

"I could lose my job. And I've worked hard to get it. I want to keep the respect of the people I work with and move up in ranks. Not throw that away over something that might not last."

He frowns as if disappointed by my answer, stepping forward, and putting his hands on my shoulders. Wrinkles pull at the corners of ink black eyes, invading the amber that was mine.

"Now you aren't understanding, pretty girl. Your heart is hurt so you do not understand...you always see the dark and focus on that instead of the sun. Instead of hiding and running into the dark, try stepping out into the sun. Just this once." He pecks me on the forehead, giving me a toothy smile.

"You must decide which is more important; your career or love. Jobs can be replaced. Love cannot."

And with those parting words of wisdom, he steps through the swinging door, leaving me in stunned silence.

* * *

 **He dropped the bomb on her ;)**

 **...I should stop...**

 **But I won't!**

 **Man! I would _love_ to do an AU world where the characters are doctors or detectives. But I don't know if I'd ever see it through. It would be nice to put my Anatomy/Physiology knowledge to good use, though.**

 **Thank you guys for your reviews! And for participating in my chapter questions. Of course, you're in no way required, but its fun to hear what you guys think.**

 **Question: Who is your favorite Disney Villain and favorite Disney Princess/Hero? I'm not sure if Pixar counts or I'd list Syndrome as one of my favorites. Because everything about The Incredibles is just awesome.**

 **My Favorite Villain(s): Frollo, Ursula, and John Silver**

 **My Favorite Princess: Mulan. But if she and Pocahontas don't count...then I'll go with my third favorite, Tiana.**

 **My Favorite Hero(es): Quasimodo, Flynn Rider, Shang, Milo, and Jim**

* * *

 **The High Queen Of Angst: I knew Kyo was _bound_ to be on that list xD Ritsu and Kagura took me by surprise. But mainly Ritsu. Um...how do you know I'm _not_ right behind you? No worries, I don't like reusing the same characters too much. And will go back and forth between relationships/friendships. Aw, the basketball scene was my favorite to write ^_^ As for the Akito scene...that was one of the last ones I wrote, so there wasn't too much. But I'm glad it made you smile :D That's right. And even with this upcoming chapter, its still not just one way or the other. You'll see soon.**

* * *

 **Kuramasgirl1979: I love Saki too :D I actually knew most of these ^_^ That's awesome. That means I know my readers at least a little bit. Haha That's always the answer. Getting laid equates to being mellowed out.**

* * *

 **Koneko the Fangirl: Me too! Aw, Yuki and Kisa are great choices. They're both sweet and soft spoken in their own ways. And both learn to overcome their problems. I'm glad :)**

* * *

 **Lizzy7258: Thank you for reviewing! :D I'm just hoping that I can do the characters justice and can make this story enjoyable (even with an OC lol).**

* * *

 **SweetLiars: That's alright. And thank you, so much for reviewing Mirror, Mirror and Upside Down and Topsy Turvey. I'm glad that you enjoyed them so much :D And, yup! I have a few where Kyo does although they probably need re-writes. (Mood Swings, Dirty Secrets Always Come Out) That's a...valid point. Kureno doesn't really offer much except what he told Tohru and his relationship with Uo. Oh yeah, you read one of my older fanfics, I just can't remember which. I love Kurumi the best, too. For different people its Aiko as their favorite and Mika. I guess it just varies. No, thank _you_ for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my sagas lol**

* * *

 **I will see ya'll for Chapter Eleven: Every Kiss Begins With Mai.**

 **Baiiiiiii! :3**


	11. Chapter 11: Every Kiss Begins With Mai

**Chapter Eleven: Every Kiss Begins With Mai**

 _The Day We Met..._

"Ok," I chirp, twisting my necklace at breakneck speed. "Let's get away from the depressing questions, ne?"

I snap and unsnap the button on my jacket, trying to think of something silly enough to distract us from the dark and depressing turn our game had taken. I hated the stony expression he carried; the way his eyebrows would draw together, and he would squint as if warding off a merciless headache.

" _Hatsuharu_...what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?"

He folds his arms, amusement dispelling his frown. "Deep question."

I beam. "I know!"

He leans back into the vinyl and expels a breath as if I asked him what his lifelong philosophy was. After two or three more minutes, I begin to think that he's just stringing me along. Somehow...someway...he knew of my greatest weakness. My Achilles Heel. The little, itty-bitty, shred of patience I had, ran out like someone that's tried New Leaf's dumplings.

And he was milking it for all its worth.

How fitting for someone named Moo Man.

"Well, I don't care too much for strawberry," he drawls at last, dragging out each syllable to drive me crazy.

I snort, mimicking his position by folding my own arms. "Why? Do you find ice cream offensive because your people have a hand in making it?"

"People?" His eyebrow quirks, humor coloring his monochromatic features. "I don't know. I don't really talk to cows in my spare time."

I learn forward, feigning skepticism. "Really? Not even _once_? You didn't just get the urge to stop by a farm and say, 'What's up man? You been milked lately?'"

"Can't say that I have," he muses. "But to answer your question, my favorite is chocolate. Now I have a question for you."

I rub my hands together, looking forward to the random question that he was sure to have. But then again...he's a weird one. So maybe I should be frightened, instead.

"Mai...what do you consider to be intimate?"

And just like that, I'm wrong again.

XxX

 _Present Day..._

Throughout the entire mission and afterwards, I've been slowly unraveling. I'm not sure if the photo shoot was the only thing I could blame, but I felt more miserable than usual. The holidays were always a rough time - although I'd pretend otherwise - because I had to sit back while everyone went home when I still lived at the academy. Now, on top of it all, Haru saw me naked. As did the 20 plus people that were spectating that day.

I don't even have a clue what I'll do or say to him when I see him again.

Actually, _if_ I see him again is more like it.

I mean...I could always switch partners. Rin wouldn't kill me too much...

...

I slink down the hallway, lithely, and I take extra care to avoid open rooms and windows. Sure, I felt ridiculous ducking behind ferns and trash bins. Yes, I know that Haru and I are (were?) friends and should be able to just talk it out. And maybe it was completely immature and lame, but...

I don't want to!

I breathe a sigh of relief, slumping against the slats of a custodial closet. The ridges of the door dug into my back, but catching my breath seems far more important than the pain.

Conversation lulls to murmurs as people carry about their daily business. From my view on the second floor, the people look like ants, rushing off to their colony to fulfill their duty. Its funny how your perspective can make something intricate and greater seem small.

After taking a few lungfuls of much-needed oxygen, I right myself, and gear up to leave when-

I see white...and black...and grey.

Coming my way.

I spring into action, fiddling with the handle until it gives, and I practically throw myself inside before sealing the door shut - louder than I would have preferred. Unfortunately, the 'blinds' or slats worked like a two-way mirror; you could see in, but you couldn't see out of it. It seemed kind of odd. But right now, it was the least of my worries.

The 5x5 room smelled of mildew and cleaning chemicals; it was so strong that it burned my nose to point that I had to clamp my hand over it. Thankfully, it would only be until he kept walking onward...away from here...My plan is foolproof since I saw _him_ before noticed _me_.

Yup. Any minute now and I'd be-

Staring...right back at him, just before he closes the door and he's standing right in front of me.

He pivots, his boots squeaking in protest to his sudden movements, and he boxes me in with hands on either side of my head. Light cuts across the room, just over his face so that I can make out every feature, clear as day. How inquiry and frustration filled every line, and the way his melanoid orbs pierced me like an unforgiving blade, penetrated me like bullets from my own gun.

I can't help my trembling and I grip my arms, trying to ease the nerves and the apprehension filling the hollowness of my chest. I notice concern brimming the consuming black, right before he grabs for my waist, and tugs me forward so that I can't make a run for it when the questions start.

"You haven't talked to me in a week, Mai." His voice is threaded with sorrow, and I suddenly feel remorse for making him concerned for nothing, because I was too weak to confront him about what was bothering me.

"I know," I admit, ashamedly. I throw my arms around his center and bury my face in the material of his plain black t-shirt. He never dressed for the weather. When it was hot, he wore pants. When it was cold, he wore short sleeves. But even this revelation doesn't snap me out of feeling as bad as I did, because I was the cause of his concern.

"I know that whenever you do that, its because of something that happened between us. But this time, it was after our last mission."

I wince and try to detach myself from him, but he doesn't allow me to budge. He must have known that he was right on target; it was today that I realized how perceptive he truly was.

"Was it because I saw you-"

"Yes," I cut him off, not wanting to hear it spoken. It always seemed worse when someone mentioned your problem out loud. It was different when it came to your head space; you had full control of what came in and what came out. You could drown out thoughts and fears with music loud enough to make you go deaf. But when someone mentioned it...they acknowledge what you've run away from.

And there's no hiding it anymore.

He pecks me on the forehead, sighing against my skin, and his hand smooths over the small of my back. I let my eyes slide closed as a sigh of my own slips past my lips. For a moment I forget that we're talking about something painful and I redirect my attention to the path he's making, down my face, to where I've wanted his lips to be for weeks.

"Believe me, Mai," he whispers, his breathing speeding up as if to match the hammering of my pulse. "You're...there's nothing wrong with the way you look."

I huff; the sound muffled by his cheek as it brushes against my lips. "How kind of you..."

The wood moans with each little shift or shuffle of our feet. It practically groans when Haru's mouth traces the outline of my own, pointedly avoiding my lips. "In other words...I wouldn't complain if I saw you again."

I try to look up at him, but now that he's so temptingly close, I'm finding it harder to keep my eyes open. And the magnetizing heat of him and the tantalizing circles he's making in my back aren't helping. Just as I'm about to give into the frenzy that requires me to respond to him, he jumps back as if I scald him, and the door flies open.

Shock shapes his features as we both gape at the woman standing in the door's threshold. Mine puts her hands on her hips - her bracelets clink in the wake of her movement - and her eyes flit back and forth between Haru and I. The way her cocoa eyes are filled with question and suspicion make me want to crawl into the mop bucket and die.

But much to my surprise, the suspicion fades into drollery. "What are you two doing in here? Are you _that_ bored without us assigning you a new mission?" Her phone buzzes in the pocket of her black slacks, a boisterous sound that cuts through a room of awkward silence.

She holds up a finger, gesturing for us to wait, before plucking the smartphone from her pocket. "Hello...? Yes, this is she...right now? Alright, I'll be right there...buh-bye." She rubs the back of her neck, awkwardly, and forces a smile. "Sorry about that. I have to run. Carry on," she calls from over her shoulder as she races down the hallway, the click-clack of her pumps tapering off in the distance.

"So..." I start, taking a step out into the hallway. "I guess I should head back to the dorms. I have my qualifying test coming up."

Haru nods, mutely, before closing the door behind him and walking alongside me. "Hn."

"A grunt? That's all I get?" I tease, elbowing him in the ribs.

He scoffs at this, before elbowing me right back. "Sorry...what would you like to hear instead? A sigh? A growl...? A moo?"

I roll my eyes, ducking my head to hide my grin, and step up my pace. Unsurprisingly, he quickly falls back into step beside me, thanks to his longer legs and training.

"Never mind...are you coming to my tournament?"

Haru's smirk melts into a smile. His hand brushes mine, almost imperceptibly, before he responds.

"Of course. I want to see if anyone else can tie with you like I can."

XxX

I tentatively untie the magenta apron from the death grip it had around my waist, and set the oven to 450 before collapsing in the nearest wooden chair, hoping that it would come out golden brown instead of burnt ashes.

Mrs Hashirama - or Mom, as she so affectionately told me to call her - was busy using her two forefingers to make tiny ridges in the pie crust, the smell of sweet potatoes slapping me every time Mr Hashirama chopped one from the other end of the kitchen.

"Mai, don't be so lazy. Get up and help your Mother," Mr Hashirama chides, just before he licks the spoon coated in raspberry filling for one of the billion pies being made.

His wife swats him on the arm, shaking her head in mock irritation. "Please...she helped me make two servings of mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and baked a chocolate cake for me. She's helped enough."

"You're just saying that so she won't burn next one," Mr Hashirama mutters, before returning to his task of chopping the pie's fruits and vegetables.

This time I stick my tongue out and blow a raspberry in his direction. He, being the responsible adult that he was, gives me a not-so friendly gesture in reply.

This earns him a cobalt colored glare from his wife and he suddenly has to go handle some business in the other room. But none of us were easily fooled; we all knew that his wife scared him just as much as she enticed him.

"Thanks...Mom," I say, unable to stop smiling as I do.

She gives me that beguiling grin Hashirama fell prey to, before she resumes working on the pie.

His wife was truly a beautiful woman from the inside out. If there was ever a Mom I would love to have, it would be her. She's so warm and...not jaded. She's kind and sweet, living out the traditional and normal life. She knew nothing of gunfire and abandonment. Or drugs and murder.

She grew up with two parents and an older brother and younger sister. Little to no drama, living among the middle class, and spending summers vacationing in the States.

She always received great marks in school. Is still friends with the same two girls from middle school, and is married to her high school sweetheart. After years of school at Tokyo's best University, she married Hashirama, and in the midst of her career as an OB-GYN, found out that she was pregnant with Mimi.

Even though Mimi has struggled to keep her head above water, I can see that she radiates with love for her daughter. And would _never_ think of leaving her behind, no matter the mistakes she's made.

Half the time I was happy for them.

And other times...I was jealous of them.

The doorbell breaks me out of my reverie and I rush to get it. It was either Mimi or Haru. I know that Mimi and her boyfriend - who's now on parole - got stuck in traffic on their way back from his apartment. Haru...is just...Haru. He got lost along the way. I offered to pick him up, but _no_. He's 'traumatized' because the last time he got in the car with me. Which was like...six missions ago. I don't really know. That's how long ago it was.

I swing the door open to find Mimi standing in the doorway, _without_ her man beside her. The hair that was usually a softer shade of ink, was highlighted with magenta, standing out from her Mother's jet black. Her tiny feet adorn combat boots that contrast with a pink and white floral dress; the spaghetti straps covered by her half-on, half-off parka.

"Mai! Hey, girlie," she squeals, picking me up and spinning me around. You wouldn't think someone of her - barely five foot tall - stature could lift me, but she was almost deceptively strong. She's the reason I was able to win that arm wrestling contest all those years ago.

"Hi Mimi," I sputter, short of breath. "I...um, I thought that-"

"That my boyfriend was coming?" She breaks in, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "He had 'prior engagements' with some old buddies from his frat, even though he promised to show. I got tired of him being flaky so I kicked his booty to the curb. End of story."

"Wow..." I mutter, swallowing thickly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I should have done it when his butt landed in prison for a string of DUI's. I've been clean for two and half years, earned my chip. I don't need someone around me that's doing the opposite."

I squeeze her shoulder, beaming as I take my place at the table. Her strength and tenacity never ceased to amaze me. Most people I know would fold the moment their boyfriend stood them up. But she decided she wasn't going to put up with it and still showed up with a smile on her face.

I can't help but admire her.

"What about you?" She queries, sitting across from me, and pouring a glass of water for herself from the giant pitcher on the table. "Where's this smexy guy of yours I've heard so much about?"

I cough, choking on the hunk of meat I'd already started stuffing my face with. Taken aback my her question.

"He's not my-"

"Mai."

"-Boyfriend," I finish, watching as Haru strides into the room, followed closely by Mr Hashirama. The bovine taking his seat beside me, not even phased by Hashirama making inappropriate gestures, pointing to Haru and I.

Thankfully, Mrs Hashirama chooses that moment to arrive with the rest of the food, setting down Japanese side dishes for those of us that didn't care for American meals.

"May we say grace?" She asks, taking her husband and daughter's hand in her own.

"Yes," Haru and I chorus, exchanging glances.

"We thank you Father for having this meal and being able to come together as a family. Its not often that we get the chance to do this, and we are thankful that you have blessed us with good health. And with one another. We thank you. In His name we pray. Amen."

"Amen," we say together.

Haru takes my napkin and lays it over the skirt of my purple dress, before he tucks his own into the collar of his black sweater. I attempt to quell the heat flooding my cheeks by shoveling mashed potatoes and refusing to look at him.

"So, Mai tells me that you two work together?" Hashirma mumbles, his mouth full of roasted ham.

"Yes sir," Haru confirms, tearing into a piece of his own ham with a butter knife.

"I see. Is it true that there is dating policy in place?"

"Hashirama," I exclaim, my voice going up an octave.

He shrugs, gnawing on his slab of meat. "What? I ask question to get answer, yes? I was asking boy decent question. Nothing bad, I promise."

Haru, much to my dismay, is the picture of amused. "Yes, we're not allowed to be involved with our... _co-workers_. Not to be disrespectful, but why do you ask?"

Hashirama looks at me with a grin so devious, you'd think his schemes were finally coming together, and that he had me right where he wanted me.

"I'm just curious. That's all."

"Oh please," Mimi chimes in, scooping a portion of white rice, "Those two are probably one second from jumping each other. Mai's got it bad. I saw it when I asked about him. He's no different. He can't seem to stop staring at her."

Oh. My. Goodness.

If I thought my face was red before, its flaming now. It doesn't show in his face, but even Mr blank-cow-man has trouble keeping his composure, and he starts fidgeting. That makes me feel a _little_ bit better. He's always trying to make me squirm.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" I plead, mainly towards Mrs Hashirama. The only sympathetic person around.

She nods and smiles, redirecting the conversation to Mimi. "How is work going down at the boutique? Any interesting customers?"

To my relief, it works, and she has no problem prattling on about grumpy old ladies and whiny townies. Unbeknownst to everyone else, Haru and I were engaging in our own silent conversation. Well, a game, really.

It started with me stretching my legs because they were sore from yesterday's workout. Naturally, I wasn't paying attention to much else, and my foot accidentally bumped Haru's. Before I know it, he taps mine right back. I smile, sensing what he has in mind, and I mimic his actions.

I take my lip between my teeth, debating on continuing.

After a bit, I kick it up a notch and run my ankle along his shin, causing his pants leg to rise and fall with my movements, before I retreat as if nothing happened. The rush of adrenaline I get makes it more of a challenge to breathe normally, so I try to cover it up by getting a drink of my hot chocolate. He smirks at this, wrapping his leg around my chair, using it for leverage so that he draws me in and his hip rests against mine.

Then I'm reminded of where we are. To cut through the tension, I decide to say whatever is at the top of my head. And it wouldn't be me if it weren't something completely ridiculous.

"Mimi is Avatar: The Last Rulebender."

...what did I tell you?

Everyone has a moment of silence for the lame joke I just made, before resuming conversation. It was pretty sad that my random outburst didn't seem abnormal to them. They must have been used to it by now.

The dinner carries on peaceably. After awhile, our other guest's absence is forgotten long enough for us to enjoy the evening. Ayure doesn't go ballistic, and even Mr Hashirama acts civil and mature...well, mature for him, anyway.

XxX

"Isn't it weird that Ayure hasn't died yet?" I ask, right before I cover the doll's ears with Haru's headphones. The moment we got home from dinner, he started his shrill wails, and hadn't stopped until I started a song by some band I hadn't even heard of. Of course, Haru said it was because I drove us home, and that probably disturbed him.

It was the napkin thing all over again.

"What do you mean?"

I tuck my legs beneath me before bundling up with his shockingly blue comforter. "I just mean that I'm surprised neither of us has screwed this parenting assignment up. I'm an orphan and-"

"My parents left me," he deadpans, spinning the band of Latin around his thumb. "Anyway, you seem to have learned from someone. Like Cha."

I shake my head, a mixture of amusement and mild abashment coursing through me at his words. "I still can't get over the fact that you call her Mrs Hashirama by her first name. But it's sweet."

"They mean a lot to you. And you're important to me. I have nothing but respect for anyone that cares about you as much as they do. "

He scoots closer to me, sitting with one knee up - that he slings his arm over - and he stretches his other leg out in front of him. His body heat burns through the blanket from his place beside me, and I push it down so that it hangs off my waist.

"I've been...do you promise not to make fun of me if I tell you something?"

He cocks his head out of curiosity. "I don't make promises like that. If I say I'll do it, I have to. What is it?"

I ponder this for a moment, then shake my head to clear it of my insane idea. "Never mind. Its probably weird." I can't believe I almost just blurted it out; the fact that I've had dreams about him. What if he thought I was a creep? Or worse...what if it turns him on or something? I'm a complete noob when it comes to this kind of thing. For all I know, I might ruin something before it even has a chance to begin.

Caught up in my labyrinth of thought, I flinch when he tucks a strand of auburn behind my ear. He leans in so that his shoulder touches mine and smiles when I dare to meet his eyes.

"Are you trying to make me beg?"

Something crackles within me as inane thoughts shove their way to the forefront of my mind. As an attempt to rid myself of my hormone driven imagination, I say, "No. I'd rather you moo instead."

"You seem to love bringing up my zodiac animal." He moves so that his face is barely an inch from my own and I can feel the warmth of his breath, dancing along my lips. Much to my credit, I only turn pink instead of red. "Does knowing that I'm a cow get you hot and bothered, Mai?"

If his words hadn't come out monotone with a teasing edge to them, I would have actually thought he were serious.

I turn so that my back is to him, painfully aware of the salacity stirring within me. "N-No...I was just kidding..." I internally face palm for how nervous and guilty I sound. I'd better keep my day job; acting wasn't in my wheelhouse either.

"That's like what you said when I noticed you checking me out back then. I think I'm sensing a pattern."

I scoff - as if he couldn't be more wrong - and nearly careen forward trying to retrieve my drink from his nightstand, just so I'll have something that'll give me an excuse to shut up.

After dinner, Haru and I stopped by New Leaf; I, for my signature malt, and Haru for the dumplings that he'd force upon Kyo should he call him 'dumb' one day. Based on their past interactions, I don't think that day is too far off.

I take a sip from my drink, closing my lips around the red thick straw that I managed to snag on my way out. I look around the room, needing to find something else to focus on; something that wasn't related to the body heat that emanated from Haru and tempted me because I was ill-dressed and I remembered how it felt to be in closer proximity to that heat. Well, that and I didn't didn't want to see him smirking.

But when I look back at him...

He's already watching me; or my lips, rather. He seems so entranced by them, without thinking about it, I run my tongue along them, feeling my stomach flip as he tracks my movements.

I set the drink aside and attempt to swipe at the vanilla droplets that cling to my chin. To make matters worse - or better, I'm really lost about it - he leans forward and _his_ lips find _my_ chin. I go completely still as his tongue darts out and he takes the liberty of solving my little problem. And strangely, I'm not repulsed or grossed out like I'd think I would be with him doing something like this.

It just made me burn...and my heart rate spikes as if my own body is surprised at his actions, but yearning to see the follow-up.

"Its weird," he deadpans, using his thumb to swipe the rest away. "I only like vanilla when its yours."

...did he just-? WHAT?

He pulls back slightly, his breaths shallow as his blazing eyes meet mine. They were in between light and dark; dull and intense - black coals in a pool of grey - as they bored into my amber. Just thinking about it all made it sound like some kind of cheap romance that Rin and I read or watched to poke fun at.

But I was too mesmerized to care.

His gaze drops to my lips again; his eyes trail from my jaw to my neck and back. For the first time since I fell silent, he smiles at me. And its appreciative and happy...genuinely and honestly happy.

I wait with bated breath and muddled thoughts as he sits back so that he's resting against the headrest of his bed, leaving a space for me. Right in front of him like that night in the Summer Home. My stomach twists and my heart aches out of nerves that I try to steel. But nothing I do works. I haven't felt this untethered since my Foster parents dropped me. Or this shaken, either.

But I get on my hands and knees and crawl towards him anyway. I almost laugh when I imagine myself doing so; like I'm a fox on the hunt or some chick trying to be sexy but failing...miserably. I spare him an insecure glance, gauging his reaction.

He's amused, but also anticipating what we both know is inevitable. Wrong as it may be.

I rise up - once I reach him - so that I'm eye level with him, and I place my hands on his shoulders to stay balanced because my head is actually swimming. His arms encircle my waist and I can't help but smile, even despite my flushing, at the fact that I'm so close to...relief, of some kind. To cure whatever was making me high-strung.

It almost feels like I've been waiting a year or more to be like this. To not feel like an idiot for thinking about him all the time and wanting to spend time with him...to just hear him and have him listen to me. And to watch his eyes reanimate and flood with something akin to vulnerability whenever they were focused on me. Or the way the sunless shade was always edged with black, as if warning me that he was kind and gentle, but could be dangerous and rough when he wanted to be.

And whenever Black Haru came out to play...

Haru's lips part before closing in on mine, gentle but aggressive at the same time; careful, but making it a point to let me know that he's sure. He's sure he wants to risk everything for me...for this. My nose bumps into his, but he ignores it, and continues on as if my lips taste like heaven and feel like silk, and he doesn't want to waste a second of gratification.

My top lip tingles being so close to the smell and taste of peppermint, but not close enough to savor it. It was from the drinks at dinner, but it seemed a lot more delectable on him than it did then.

There was just something about the way he could go back and forth at any second. I guess I liked that he was unpredictable and unusual. Not always rational and what everyone else considered normal. Which is funny, because it originally made me think we wouldn't work.

I revel in the fact that my perfume is mixing with the smell of his aftershave, evidence of us being so close. Now I know what people mean when they say they could get high on someone's scent.

A rhythm pulses between his heart and mine; but mine is the more erratic and out of control.

In the same breadth of a minute, he's gone from soft and almost passive to dominating and rough; back and forth, as if both parts of him are warring for his attention. It sears and torches me, from the point of contact to the rest of my body. For some reason, I don't mind it. It feels strange and invasive, but natural at the same time; Like its an extension of him. A glimpse into his other, more volatile side.

But I'm conflicted. Because the pain in my wrist ebbed and flowed; I couldn't just lose myself completely because I was constantly reminded of the name I wish I could rub out of my skin. It didn't belong there anymore...but I didn't belong here with Haru. It was too much to be doing something I didn't deserve...it only made it ache, like a shard of glass was dragging along my skin.

"Relax, Mai," he murmurs against my lips.

A chill hits me full force, like a storm, when I hear it. He said 'Mai' like just my name alone satisfied him, and that sentiment carved warmth into my bones.

His fingertips trace their way down my thigh and my heart slams against the walls of my chest. Because this is happening and I didn't know how to react or respond to it.

At war with myself, I debate on touching him back, and catering to the aphrodisia that was rattling my strait-laced nature. It was getting harder to hold back from reciprocating his kiss. I didn't have the best grip on my sense at the moment. And he wasn't making it any easier on me.

But I decide to take a chance and thread my fingers through the black hair near the nape of his neck. I'd never told him how much I adored the darker shade of his hair, and how it contrasted against the white like day and night.

Haru nips my neck and whispers something against the skin there. I can't make out what he says, but I don't think it matters. I think the vibrations were more important than the sound was. And it felt...amazing. It was like a sharp sting of pain before he made it up to me by kissing me where his teeth once were.

TNT and the whole nine yards thump and thud around my anxiety abused insides; the sensations explode within the confines of my rib cage, ripping my conviction to shreds.

It makes me gasp or...something, more mortifying. And it seemed especially loud because we were the only two in the room and it echoed off the slate grey concrete, amplified by the suffocating quiet. But it only encourages Haru to continue his ministrations, dipping lower so that he's right near the amethyst I'd be meddling with at a time like this.

He teases the flesh of my collarbone before reclaiming my lips; its so quick that I barely register his hand moving behind my head when he deepens the kiss.

I inhale and exhale him; we share breaths and elicit sounds from each other. Just for tonight, I release the iron grip hold I have on my reservations to satiate myself with him. To discover what he likes and how far we could go... _should_ go.

Seeing the affect I have on him emboldens me to the point that I press myself flush against him, and my legs entangle with his.

Suddenly, I'm on my back and he's pinning my wrists to the bed. I look up at him in confusion to see his eyes are laden with black and dark, heat and hunger. This time he's unrestrained as he captures my lips and he prods me until his tongue slips inside the warmth.

His hand moves from the more affectionate place it was to run alongside my ribs and my hip; lust feeds his actions and I most likely had Black Haru to thank for the sudden change of pace.

I realize that being with him, like this, is like being with two different people. But I...I _really_ like both sides. Even though one of them annoys me and the other makes me nervous, one of them makes me smile and the other makes me excited and lose my inhibitions because I want him so badly.

For someone that didn't trust people, I never seemed mind too much about relinquishing control when it came to Haru initiating it.

I claw at the grey sheets, because it was mind-numbingly good. I'd always felt left out when I saw girls holding hands with their boyfriends or giving them white day gifts; I'd always just been a fly on the wall, watching from far-off, and wondering what it was like to be them.

But now, I had an idea of what it meant to feel this...why people wanted it so badly. Why people craved it and _lusted_ after it. Just kissing Haru was alarming and terrifying (probably because I was very much a virgin and didn't know anything beyond it). It called my sanity into question because it was frowned upon. Heck, it was because of Haru and Rin's relationship going down in flames that required such prohibition. But...rules didn't matter to me right now. Maybe I'd regret it when his lips weren't on me, but it didn't matter this second.

Through the exchange of fire and sensations, I realize that I accept him for the two people he is. I care for him and...I think I love him too much to not take him as he is. He's my best friend and-

He halts.

Before I have a moment more with the side I rarely see, he's reverted to White and he shrinks back as if ashamed at overindulging and becoming someone he often hid.

I guess we were both timorous when it came to ourselves...what I did and all the lives I took. And the unquenchable rage and desires that coincided with his darker counterpart.

Somehow, I feel...disappointed? Sad, that he's still holding back. I don't know what I expected when I agreed to stay the night with him and watch Ayure. I didn't hope that he would share something with me about why he was so detached and aloof. I don't hope.

But then, why do I feel like this?

I don't let him get too far from me; I scoot up on the bed so that my head rests against the pillows and I pat the space beside me. With reluctance, he flops down, and we find ourselves in a similar position to when he pushed our beds together. My auburn hair fans out over his grey pillows as he brings me into his arms. Water droplets - from his five minute shower - darken the cinereal strands that I periodically run my fingers through. I breathe in the smell of aftershave and fabric softener again, trying to push the nasty doubts out of my mind.

The doubts that said he didn't reveal himself to me because he didn't trust me...or that I was just Rin's replacement.

For awhile, I enjoy it. Its always wonderful to be held by him and to not have that wall between us; where I had to live a double life and not mix the Mai from yesterday and the Mai from today. But I could actually be me around him and not be in a constant state of panic.

But something shattered the peace and calm.

A stale stench of shame and timidity, tinge the air to the point that the tension was so thick, it was tangible. The weight of shame bared down on my soul, and crushed the spirit intertwined with it. It hit me the moment he ran his fingertips along the inside of my wrist. It tickled and burned all at once.

The word 'Stop' is on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be said. Because I want him to stop touching my past and to pretend it isn't there. Its what I tried to do, all the time. Hide it. Cover it. Ignore its existence. But here he was...Feeling it. Seeing it...Kissing it.

With just the lightest of touches, he kisses the imprint on my wrist. I wriggle and writhe beneath him, the manifestation of my discomfort. But he doesn't let me go. He just holds on, determined to make me realize _something_.

Without saying anything.

He eventually just releases my wrist, then lays beside me.

The rise and fall of my chest matches his own as we stare up at the ceiling. I, in awe of what just happened. And how the wall between us reduced to rubble because we were suddenly closer and more vulnerable than ever before.

The night continues on around us as time pauses between us.

Because now, we were breaking that rule...the one I'd vowed to myself that I'd never violate for the sake of my career. For the sake of stability and familiarity.

 _Rule 2: No Dating Is Allowed Between Partners_.

* * *

 **I am so sorry for not saying Happy Thanksgiving last chapter. It honestly slipped my mind because I wrote the chapter during different points over the course of...two weeks? Can't remember lol But Happy _Belated_ Thanksgiving and I hope you had an awesome time. And didn't have to face the danger that is Black Friday. (When I went two years ago -albeit, late at night - it wasn't bad and I got my video games).**

 **Its also late for a Thanksgiving event...but oh well! Hopefully the Christmas chapter will be out the day of or Christmas Eve. I'm sorry if does happen to be posted later than that. I'll try my best.**

 **The kiss scene was admittedly challenging to write because I am an _extremely_ modest writer when it comes to romance and crap. I can promise you that this will never become a lemon _and_ I apologize on behalf of those of you that may have *ahem* exploded in the aftermath. Sorry? :)**

 **For those of you missing angst, no worries. You guys probably know me well enough to know that this fluff won't last long xD**

 **Because I have a serious question to ask this chapter, I will include a "fun" one for good measure. :)**

* * *

 **Serious Question: What chapter of this story is your favorite? And which chapter is your least favorite?**

 **I'm trying to determine which dynamic and writing style suits me best.**

* * *

 **Random Question: If you had to be trapped in a room, forced into an arranged marriage, or partnered with any Fruits Basket character...who would it be?**

* * *

 **Trapped: Hatori because he's smart, or Tohru because I would need a _lot_ of optimism if I'm gonna be put in an enclosed space.**

 **Arranged Marriage: Haru. Because...YASS. Just, yes! xD Am I that much of a creep? Yes...yes, I am.**

 **Partner: Momiji, because he's sweet.**

 **I know...I know, I have weird choices.**

* * *

 **Kuramasgirl19769: Um...thanks? O.O**

* * *

 **Koneko the Fangirl: I love Maleficent after the movie Angelina Jolie starred in. I adored the way they portrayed her. :) Sadly, I haven't seen the classic Sleeping Beauty yet. I'd recorded it but never got around to it. Ah, Brave. I need to watch that too. I've seen bits and pieces. But I love her accent and her red hair is similar to how I picture Foxy's :D I love Flynn Ryder!**

* * *

 **The High Queen Of Angst: I know I apologized if you guys exploded. But I feel like I was the one on the verge of combustion when writing those moments between them. Ah...I'm more comfortable in the world of angst and pain - for writing, that is. Aw, I feel the same. I just don't say it xD Ah. Well I haven't seen Bambi, but I do know that someone gets shot and it makes for another tragic Disney movie...befitting for you Queenie :D Interesting answer for the second question, I still haven't Snow White either lol. You're one of my heroes though :p I hope this last scene wasn't too much. As I read over it I was like, 'I can't take this! Its too much..' Thank You! :3**

* * *

 **SweetLiars: Yeah...it was probably my worst T_T But what was there shall never see the light of day again xD Huh. Really? :O Well when you put it that way...lol But that is true. I never really thought about it. He wasn't even the Rooster zodiac when he stepped onto the scene! Oddly enough, he's not the Furuba character I've forgotten the most. I believe I've left Ritsu out the most. Ah, there's nothing wrong with that :) That's what I love to do *rubs hands together maniacally* We like her for opposite reasons. But I understand your side of it. You love that she's tough just because. That she didn't need a tragic past to make her what she is. Yup ^.^ Tangled is one of my favorite Disney films, so its awesome that you love Flynn like I do :D**

* * *

 **Once my brain recovers...**

 **See you all for Chapter Twelve, the Christmas chapter...hopefully xD**

 **Baiiiiiii ^_^**


	12. Chapter 12: Agents Tell No Tales

**Chapter Twelve: Agents Tell No Christmas Tales**

"I never thought I'd break down and get a white Christmas tree. I always thought they were kind of Fru Fru."

Rin nods in agreement, painting her thumbnail the color of charcoal. "Yeah, well. Blame it on your boyfriend. He burnt the black tree I had last year and I wasn't able to find another one on such short notice. Plus, I hate being out on Christmas Eve."

How did he manage to burn a Christmas tree down? The same way I managed to burn ice cream, I suppose...and another question; why does everyone assume Haru and I are dating? I mean...we kind of are. But they didn't know that!

I weave a black hook into a glittery ornament's handle before sticking it on one the partially crooked branches. "Its no wonder why there are so many white trees leftover."

She snorts, capping her half-empty bottle of polish by dipping it like a pen in ink. "Exactly. I'm just glad that it'll be a quiet day in the dorm, curled up in bed...sleeping in tomorrow."

I groan in exasperation before flopping down on the bed beside her. "Come on Rin. Why don't you want to come to the Christmas party tonight? I even invited Tohru, my friend from _the outside_."

"And how exactly are you planning to get her here? Everyone is sworn to secrecy and this place has maximum security. She won't make it past the front gates."

I shrug, just now considering this. "I don't know. Drug her tea...blindfold her...sneak her in. The usual."

She sets the bottle off to the side before crawling under the covers, pulling them up to her chin and closing her eyes. "If you do decide to go the poison route...I know a guy. Just let me-"

A sudden knock interrupts us. Before I know it, Rin shoves the comforter off, and stomps over to the door. After yanking it open, she comes face to face with a trio of mixed company; boys and girls, young and old, dressed like I don't know what.

The middle aged woman's hands are stuffed inside a Muff to ward off a cold that neither of us feel. They all don their rosy cheeks and perky smiles before breaking out into synchronized song; their soprano and tenor voices blending and melding together without a hint of imperfection.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me; a partridge in a pear tree~"

"On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me; two turtledoves. And-"

"-A door slammed in your face," Rin finishes, dryly, before shutting the door with such force, the tree shakes. "How did they even get in here?"

I laugh, shrugging a second time. "I don't know. Carolers don't typically take you out after serenading you, so maybe they weren't considered enough of a threat. At least, not that I'm aware of."

She rolls her eyes, trudging back to bed. "Please. We're undercover agents and you say that? Any holiday is the perfect opportunity for an infiltration. Most people's guards are down or they're too drunk to realize what's happening."

I heave a sigh before pulling Rin into a half-hug, ignoring her protests. "Oh Rin...there's only one thing left for me to say to you."

"What?" She bites out, her tone lacking the venom her words normally carried.

I can't help but break out into a grin as I yell in her ear, "Deck the halls with boughs of Holly. Fa-la-la-la-la. La-la-la-la~"

Rin shows her appreciation for my spontaneous performance by reaching behind me and smacking me on the head with one of her pillows. I snatch up the one that was formerly supporting her head before hitting her right back, bonking her on the nose.

She fixes her lips into a snarl before raising her fluffy weapon up to the high heavens, her dark eyes gleaming with cruel intent. "Say goodbye, Mai."

"Help me," I squeak, right before I meet my maker.

XxX

The malls are crowded and excited; panicked shrieks echo off the linoleum as we make our way into a nearby clothes, books, and accessories emporium. We were all conducting some last minute shopping, just a a day before Christmas, and a few hours short of the party tonight.

I was able to relax because I'd already finished Haru's gift. Was I nervous about it? Heck yeah. Was I backing down..? Ask me that question again once I've finally made it out of Tokyo.

Tohru darts off towards the clothing section with Hana following suit, nose deep in an ominous choice of reading material. Kisa and I follow Rin towards the accessories and watch as she snatches a belt off one of the black, wooden shelves. She turns it, over and over, the chains jangling with each rotation. She taps the studs as if to test their durability or something, before tossing it over her shoulder and scouring the perfume rack.

I start to search for my gift for Mrs Hashirama when a small voice stops me. "Excuse me?" I glance down to see Kisa right beside me, her own amber eyes looking everywhere but at me. I smile, recalling what Haru told me about the tiger of the zodiac, and what I noticed from when we first met. She was shy - not crippling, but enough to be a problem at times - and if I knew Hiro was capable of feeling anything, I'd say she was the apple of the brat's eye.

So to say that I was surprised that she approached me would be quite the understatement.

"I don't know what to get for Haru...he spends a lot of time with you, so I thought you might know what he likes."

I grin at the sincerity of her request, stooping down so that I'm eye level with her. Though I wasn't so quick to fess up to the fact that I didn't have to hunch over _that_ much. "I'm sure he'll like whatever you get him. He gushes about you all the time. Well, as much as he can being Haru and all."

She flushes, kicking at the ground. "A-Are you sure? I don't want to mess it up."

"Yes," I conclude, righting myself and taking her hand in mine. "I promise he will. I'm thinking something along the lines of napkins though."

"What?" Her golden eyebrows knit together in puzzlement, baffled by my words.

I just smirk, ushering her off towards the darkest part of the store. "Nothing..."

After three hours - I seriously don't get the appeal to shopping - of aching feet, stuffing our faces with greasy grub from the food court, and dragging ourselves through the mall, our Christmas shopping is finally finished and we can all head back home to get ready for the party.

I just hoped that Rin would like her mauve handbag; it cost a pretty penny (nearly two mission's pay) and it was my way of repaying a debt she didn't know about. The debt I owed her for keeping the boots I found for myself. As for Tohru, I had no doubt that she would love what I got her because that was who she was. She'd leap for joy if I reached into my pocket and pulled out a ball of lint. Somehow, someway, that girl would make even _that_ sound exciting.

But after much deliberation, I settled on a replica of Tokyo's Ice Skating Rink. It had all the bells and whistles; reflective glass, life-like pine trees, pseudo snow, plastic versions of some town residents. It cost me all the money I had left over, but I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. Sure, the blow to my bank account was devastating at first. I'd mourn for it later...but I couldn't wait to see what she'd do with it.

Christmas was shaping up to be pretty decent this year.

XxX

"Why exactly are we making cookies, again?" Mimi asks, exhaustion bleeding into her lazy tone.

I kick the metallic drawer - beneath the stove - closed, setting the nonstick pan onto the counter and pouring the red and green batter into it. For some reason, I think the dye was supposed to be added _after_ the cake baked. Not before.

"Because, everyone and their brother is showing up for the party. And we're in desperate need of more refreshments and food." I poke the lumpy batter with my finger, wondering if its the right consistency (knowing full well that it wasn't) before sliding it into the oven. "I'm not usually the party type, but I was forced this time."

She shakes her head, her black and magenta ponytail flopping with her movements. "Its like drugs Mai; just say no." Suddenly, she gasps so loudly, I think my ears explode.

"Mai. I just had the _best_ idea of all time. Why don't you dress a little _differently_ than you usually do. Y'know, tis' the season and all that jazz."

Uh-oh. I didn't like where she was going with this. "What do you mean?" I force out, clearing my throat to hide the anxiety creeping into my inflection.

"Well, they do make risque Mrs Clause outfits. Oh! He even has white hair. He could go as Santa Clause or something. How cute would that be?"

I pale, starting on batch number seven. "Cute isn't the word I would use. Creepy? Crazy? Nevah gonna happen...? That sounds more like it."

She pouts, folding her arms. "Fine. You never step out of your comfort zone. Not even when your man might go along with it."

"I'm not even going to try to convince you he isn't my boyfriend anymore," I deadpan, running my hand down my face. "Besides, knowing him, he'll probably be there in swim trunks or something else random. He never dresses properly."

Mimi flashes me a maniacal grin. "And you love it."

"...maybe."

Unfortunately, the next two don't come out right either. One is so black and smoky, it resembles a lump of coal. The other is too raw...after that we decide to just throw our hands up and call the nearby deli/bakery for a last minute round of whatever they could scrape together.

And that, ladies and gentlemen...is how to celebrate the holidays. Nothing says Merry Christmas like food poisoning and broken teeth.

XxX

"Haru."

"Mai."

"Hatsuharu."

"Girl with too short of a name."

"We're a weird couple, aren't we?"

"Yup."

"Good."

I sink heavily against him, basking in the glow of the streetlights that lined the snowy cobblestone streets. Haru surprised me with an hour long carriage ride, through a quiet part of town where no one else could see us. When he picked me up from the dorm, he glanced down the hallway before presenting me with mistletoe. I couldn't help but laugh because he did it in the most casual way possible, like he was just handing off a package before he pressed his lips against mine. Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to where two snow white Welsh ponies were waiting, attached to an elegant carriage the color of vanilla icing.

Now we were sipping on coffee he'd brought from New Leaf, a stick of peppermint jutting out of the brown froth, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. And just like Tohru, Haru remembered to leave off the cherry.

A crescent moon looms ahead, lighting the buildings formerly tucked behind shadows, and highlighting barren alleys. The luminosity makes Haru's pale skin incandescent, like this is one of those vampiric novels and he's my brooding lover. I could never take romances serious in general, but especially not those. Heroines in said books find a ghostly looking guy whom stalks her and smells her - just because he can - enchanting, and it makes them go starry eyed.

It never failed to make me laugh. Not even once.

Haru has the reigns so I knew he wouldn't be holding my hand this time. But it sparked an idea, although I was petrified to act on it.

 _Just because he can't touch me doesn't mean I can't touch him, right?_

I rub my lips together, attempting to keep myself from smiling and giving me away. After setting my empty cup of coffee at my feet, I turn towards him to be met with his profile. He keeps his gaze on the road, but his adam's apple bobs up and down. He glances at me out of his peripherals before his grip tightens, almost infinitesimally, around the brown rope. I slide across the slippery bench, and angle towards him, dropping my hand to his thigh. He freezes, stealing another look at me, his breathing pausing before resuming its normal rhythm.

My chest constricts with my nerves, the decision to not continue an afterthought as I trail my fingertips from his thigh to his knee, the material of his black jeans smoldering beneath my flesh. His hand shoots out, grasping my wrist. I go stock still, scared that maybe he didn't like it like I thought he might.

But instead of pulling away from me, he moves my hand back up so that it's directly below his lap, and he keeps it there. My heartbeat drums back to life with the realization that he was not only okay with it, but silently insisting that I continue.

This time, I skate my lips across his jawline, making my way down his neck for what I hope is a tortuously slow pace. He groans, so quiet that I wouldn't hear it if I weren't so close to him. I bite him, and smile against his skin when his breathing sounds heavier and strained, watching as his knuckles turn white with his restraint.

I retreat, gliding upward so that my lips are near his ear. I take his earlobe between my teeth, hearing him bite back a hiss as he finally releases his hold on the reigns and he tries to grab for me. I shake my head, clamping down on his hand, and moving it back to where it was. "Ah-ah," I breathe in his ear, feeling chills roll over my arms and legs. "Only I get to touch you this time..."

"Okay," he rasps, attempting to put a stop to the impulses that cause him to fidget.

He stays true to his word, letting me kiss him wherever I could, doing his best to show as little of a reaction to it as possible. And by the time we're back at the agency, neither of us knows what to say. He calmly turns the reigns over to the horse's owner before helping me out of the carriage, taking my waist in his hands, and setting me on the ground.

Once checking the coast is clear, he pins me in place by laying a kiss on me in a collision of peppermint, so hard that my lips hurt afterward. But the pain doesn't override the palatable sensation that stains my lips, as I follow him towards the banquet hall. I bite my lip to keep from grinning at the marks I left all over the back of his neck.

XxX

Haru and I arrive, his hand intertwined with mine. He tucked our hands into the pocket of my furry white winter coat - to hide it - before putting on a Santa Clause hat, lopsided. The white cotton ball on top dangles over his forehead as he leads me towards the Kashi tree that everyone gathered around.

The warmth soaks its way through my clothes as my eyes flit around the room, taking in the extravagant decorations that must have taken hours to set up; the tree itself was real, nearly fifteen feet tall, and flocked so that it appeared to have been out in the snow, twinkling with golden lights and silver ornaments.

We find two empty seats on the already full beige leather couch; I wriggle out of his hold before smoothing the skirt of my midnight blue skirt, tucking it beneath me as I sit, and Haru takes a seat beside me, sure to leave a gap between us.

Tohru leans forward so that she entraps me in one of her world famous hugs, and that familiar smell of lavender struck me right before she released me.

"Hey Tohru, glad you could make it."

Her blue eyes sparkle with mirth. "Thanks for inviting me. And Merry Christmas to both of you."

Haru gives a nod and a small smile in acknowledgement and I echo her thanks, watching as a few more guests trickle into the room, plopping down across from us; Rin, whom I'd almost believed to be a hallucination, was among them, her arm linked with a guy I hadn't seen before.

He was body piercings and phoenix red hair, standing at Haru's height, looking completely and totally out of it. I think his name came up once or twice whenever Rin was on the phone - he went by the name X or something like that - and he was always stoned or on something, refusing to stay sober very long.

His movements were far more lackadaisical than Haru on his laziest day, and his eyes were a very obvious red, reaffirmation for my suspicions.

In the blink of an eye, Shigure takes center stage with a glass of egg nog in hand. He suggests that we kick off the party with a "How Well Do You Know Your Partner" game, explaining the conditions.

"The rules are as follows: every time your partner answers a question about you and its correct, you take a drink of egg nog," Shigure declares, waggling his eyebrows as he looks in Ayame's direction.

It didn't seem like much of a penalty, unless you were lactose intolerant like I was. But as far as I knew, it was a harmless and alcohol-free drink. What harm could it really do?

"No way. You both know everything about each other. We don't need a perverted mutt who's-"

"Fine, fine," Shigure cuts off Kyo, rubbing his temples. "You take a sip of egg nog if they get the answer wrong. Fair enough?"

We all agree to it, whether reluctantly or not, and we decide to go in a counter-clockwise direction; this meant starting off with Ritsu and Kyo, whom looked like he wanted to die because of the demented boar wrapped around him. I glance over at Haru to see him staring at Rin. And it actually physically hurts to see her staring back, both with such intensity in their eyes that I'm surprised neither of them have combust.

I look away and refocus my attention on the swan bowl of egg nog on the coffee table in front of us, feeling my gut twist in a sharp rush of jealousy.

He _just_ took me out...and made me feel special, wanted. Something I never bothered to expect anymore. For that single moment of time, I'd forgotten all about their past relationship. And I was sure we made an unspoken agreement to see each other. Were we not exclusive? Or was I reading into all of this too much?

"Now for your question," Ayame begins, his sultry voice attracting nearly everyone's eyes, "Ritsu, what food does Kyo hate the most?"

"Um...he...well...I don't know. I'm so sorry! I should know this!" He grabs Kyo's shoulders, rattling him with desperation in his eyes. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME KYO!"

"Would ya shaddup already?" Kyo growls, snatching up his glass and taking an angry swig of his drink. Kagura shoves Ritsu aside, her grey eyes burning with irritation.

"Keep your monkey paws off my man, Ritsu. I should be the one answering questions about my sweet Kyo. The good things, the bad things, I know them all!"

"Stop it," Kyo grits out, twitching.

"Moving on~" Shigure breaks in, in a sing-song voice. "Next up is Mai and Haru. Haru, what is one of Mai's habits?"

Apparently, the question is enough to break the trance Haru was in because his eyes land on me. But I don't get my hopes up about him knowing any of them; he was probably too distracted by his ex-girlfriend to even remember anything I did.

"That's an easy one...when she's nervous she meddles with her necklace. She has this habit of flicking you in the forehead or punching you when she wants to show you affection but doesn't know how. She loves drinking malts - vanilla of course. She can't drive or bake well. But, she cares a lot. She would say that's one of her worst habits if she didn't deny caring in the first place, but its one of the best things about her."

I just sit still for a long time, trying to comprehend his words. Trying to stop blushing, as futile as it may be. His voice was empty and void of all emotion, as if he were reading off a script, and was just reciting lines constructed by someone else. But he feels more than he lets on. In the middle of his monologue, he moved so that there was hardly any space between us, and his thigh pressed against my own.

His stiff form relaxes as I lean into him, careful of getting too close with so many people around. When no one was looking, his arm made its way around my waist, and he hadn't move it since.

After five more rounds, a hiccuping and unbalanced Kyo topples over, face planting into Kagura's lap. She smiles, running her fingers through his fiery mane, that contentedly devious glint in her eye again.

Tohru comes up with the idea to see who could go the longest without laughing, while everyone tried to make each other crack. I was taken aback by her clever yet cruel idea when Shigure decides to up the stakes once again, saying that whomever loses has to drink a whole cup of egg nog instead of just a sip.

Now that I knew alcohol was in that yellow concoction, I wasn't so eager to play. But in the end, I was coaxed into doing it, and our game began.

Haru's perfectly practiced poker face was back in place, practically daring someone to try and make him laugh. I don't think anyone was that foolishly ambitious. Well, Momiji put up a valiant effort, anyway.

Rin simply looks at Tohru, raising her eyebrow; that's all it takes for her to start giggling and innocent Tohru has to accept her fate of whatever they spiked the egg nog with. I felt bad about it. She was too sweet and pure to ever have to do that. But rules were rules, and we'd all accepted them before we started. She knocks it back like a pro, sputtering as she sets it down with a slight wobble to her hand.

I turn so that I face Haru, sitting cross-legged and he looks back at me. Seconds go by as we engage in a staring contest, waiting to see who will actually cave. But he and I were similar in that way. We could both hide our emotions, thanks to my desensitization it wasn't as difficult.

Just when I think we'll both call a truce, Haru's eyes cross and he gets a really dopey look on his face. He draws his nostrils up with his finger so that he resembles a pig and snorts like one. I'm quick to cover my mouth and swallow back the laugh that was trying to show itself. I'm not going to lose. I won't. I refuse.

"Mai...come closer," he beckons with another loud snort.

I tentatively comply, only to hear him tell me to move in even closer. When our noses touch, his hand falls to his side, and his gaze drops to my lips. He smiles softly, looking at me with eyes the color of an ocean spill, just as toxic.

Once he has my rapt attention, as loudly as he possibly can, he lets out a moo that shatters my ear drums and sends me to the floor, sprawling out on my hands in knees. But it sounds so realistic that the laughter burbles out before I have time to stop it, knowing that he beat me at something.

By the end of the night, I've had three doses of egg nog and he's still just as clear headed as when we arrived.

...that, that...cow!

XxX

Today I learned that being drunk was a weird experience. I was aware of what was happening around me. But I had no control over my body. The grip I _did_ have on my thoughts, was slipping. My legs keep crossing over one another; I stagger and stumble, smashing into walls. It takes Haru carrying me, piggyback, to make it back to my dorm safely.

Our room is empty and dark; Rin was out with X, leaving me with my sober boyfriend while being extremely inebriated. Long story short, I was hammered, and whatever happened would happen. It took a whole lot of trust (and the fact that I had no other options) to let Haru stay with me while my tongue was loose and my common sense was darkening.

He kicks the door shut before taking his long, careful strides to my bed; he turns so that his back faces it before setting me down, gently. As Haru helps me with unlacing my boots, a question surfaces. "Where's Ayure? I don't see her. Do you?" My words slur and run together. And for some reason, Haru just laughs at me. I don't get what was so funny though. It was a sound question.

" _He's_ currently with Shigure and Ayame. I know how you feel about them watching him, but they didn't drink as much egg nog. That and I had to make sure you got back okay."

I smile, sure that my eyes are most definitely glazed over, and unfocused. "You know...there's two of you." I sigh, lying back as my shoes thud to the floor. "Is that supposed to be your present for me?"

He shakes his head, getting up from his kneeling position, and climbing up on the bed. He leans forward so that his lips brush mine and I inhale deeply, too deeply, because my vision or my brain seems to tilt, and everything goes sideways. I rub my forehead with my hand, trying to make the dizziness go away. It was way more unnerving than I figured it would be.

"Mai?" He asks, running his thumb along my bottom lip. Concern shines in his consuming eyes. "Are you okay?"

I can't help but laugh, letting my hand drop to my side as my head rolls back. "I'm drunk, Haru."

"Yes, you are. But are you nauseous?"

Thankfully, no. I did have about three cups...or was it four? Five? I stopped keeping track around three. What was I thinking about? Oh, yeah. I'm not feeling queasy or anything. But I'm a lightweight; I've never had a drink in my life. At least, not until now. Or yesterday because its past midnight...right?

I confirm this by shaking my head and he breathes a sigh of relief. He bends over so that his lips meet mine and he kisses me, searing me as time ticks by unmeasured. It starts off rough before becoming chaste; the opposite of the first time. And when we break apart, I bring a trembling hand up to my mouth, running my fingertips along my swollen lips, unable to breathe properly again.

He gets up, as if to leave, before I manage to grab the back of his shirt. He does an about face, staring down at me with a mildly curious expression. I swallow, trying to relieve myself of how dry my throat feels, before I manage to find my words.

"Stay here...I mean...I want you to."

Haru stands so still that for a moment, I actually believe that I surprised him for once. But it isn't much longer before he reclaims his place beside me, bringing me into his arms, and resting his chin atop my head. I'm content to just lie here, nuzzling his neck, and breathing in that familiar scent. His hand runs down my back, and around my waist. Much to my chagrin, I jump, and nearly smack him in the face.

He stares back at me with wide, shocked eyes. And I wasn't sure if it was because of the egg nog or because of his expression, but I burst into laughter, even despite another one of my secrets being found out.

"I'm sorry for laughing...but, your face," I gasp out, between cackles. "I don't see you look like that before." I wasn't even aware of how little I was making sense. I was too fixated on memorizing the fact that he was still reeling in shock, just because of my spaz attack.

"What was that?"

"Oh," I purr, feigning innocence. "You didn't know? I'm ticklish. But if I see you...if you try to do this when I wake up, I'm gonna kick you where the sun don't shine." My empty threat is punctuated by a drunken hiccup as I still recover from my fit of laughter.

A smirk tugs at his lips, right before he tickles me again. I flail my arms and the bed squeaks with my spasms and his laughter as he drives the breath out of my lungs with the cruelest form of torture, wretched tickling. In the moment, my shirt rides up, slightly, and he takes advantage of it by putting his lips on my stomach. I'm still heaving with laughter when he kisses me there, causing my heart to skid to an abrupt stop.

It tickles, but...I can't believe I'm admitting this. It feels...wonderful. Simple as it is, I find myself enjoying it. I'm left feeling at a loss when he moves the material back so that it covers my stomach again, and he lies back next to me.

"You know," he starts, his ringed fingers interlacing with mine, "It wasn't as hard to not touch you before. When we were at the party, and I saw you - beautiful and smiling - I almost didn't stop myself from kissing you. But-"

"-We can't," I supply, tightening my hold on his hand. "Not around everyone."

My heart squeezes, painfully, as I watch him. He drops the guarded look in his eyes and he stops pretending to be happy, even for a small moment. Even through my intoxicated stupor, I know this to be monumental for us. We'd only just begun dating five weeks and a day ago, were friends and partners for five months. But he let me see him. No pretenses. No fake smile. No restraint. Just...rawness.

I once again force the negative thoughts out of my mind; that Haru wouldn't reveal himself if I were more coherent.

"Rin did whatever she could to push me away. Even if it meant pulling the age card because she's two years older," he explains, gruffly. I keep silent and wait to see where he's going with this, pain I'd forgotten blossoming in the hollowness of my chest. "It was because of our age difference that I waited until I was taller to confess to her.

"I waited. I held back and our relationship never lasted. During one of our missions together, I messed up. And-" he pauses, sucking in a sharp breath and shuddering. He takes a moment or two to collect himself, slowing his breathing before he's ready to continue.

"I messed up and made a _fatal_ mistake. It took me a year to be able to not feel guilty for smiling all the time. Or feeling sad because I actually thought I had a right to laugh, to enjoy anything. I hadn't smiled and meant it until we were together in the Summer House. And I hate myself for feeling happy. For asking you to be with me when I knew that I would never deserve you. But I can't wait, this time. I can't stay back like I did before. I tried thinking about how I'd feel if a guy took interest in you. And...it made me angry. I haven't felt that way in a long time."

I chance a look at him, observing the black pouring into the grey pools of his eyes. He always got like that when he was upset. But it was even more difficult to look at, now. Because unlike before, everything he was feeling was evident in his eyes. I couldn't distinguish one from the other because I was getting more tired, and it was still hard to comprehend at the moment. But it was such a drastic change to how he normally looked, it hurt to witness it.

Snow swirled and pattered against the windowpane, just above our heads. The sky was a dark and deep blue, touches of purple draped across the winter night sky. Although the heater kicks on at some point, I was already perfectly warm and comfortable. It wasn't the first time we slept and woke up together. But it was different from the other times. Another wall was down. Another gate was open. And the distance between us was cut down exponentially, just by him finally deciding to not wear his mask around me. That exhausting and closed-off facade that made him seem apathetic when really, he cared too much. And it earned him pain.

He doesn't say anything more on the subject. And his black and grey eyes are steel, empty, and obscuring his emotions. But it was okay. He'd told me enough tonight. He showed me more than I'd ever thought he would.

And when he was ready, I knew he would tell me what was the cause of the pain that strangled him and tore into his soul. And I'd do my best to find a way to make his suffering more bearable. I'd promised myself to make him smile as much as possible. And like Haru says, if I say I'll do it, I have to do it.

His body heat seeps into my thin blouse and skirt, enticing me to boldly wrap my leg around his, and close my eyes. It feels more natural than the last time, and I don't feel as awkward or unsettled about doing it. He pecks me on the nose, then my forehead before saying, "Merry Christmas, Mai."

I grin, feeling myself dragged under by the alcohol and contentment. I press myself against him and bask in his warmth as the wind stirs outside.

"Merry Christmas, Moo Man."

XxX

My head is throbbing.

My throat feels like a desert or some other dry thing. I'm thirsty!

And everything, in my room, shined brighter than the sun.

The only good thing about this entire morning was the fact that Haru was still beside me. He hadn't moved from his spot since we both found it in us to go back to sleep.

I thought it would be kind of romantic if we slept and woke up next to each other. Just like in _Love Leaves Me Breathless_. Although the whole aspect of mushy gushy stuff creeped me out, I found myself looking forward to it.

But, I woke up in the middle of the night. I ran into the bathroom and I said hello to the egg nog a second time, whether I wanted to or not. My hair normally would have been tied back and out of harm's way. Unfortunately, I hadn't done so because I wanted to look nice. Stupid party.

Fortunately, he's always been much quicker than me, and he held my hair back. As ashamed as I was about him witnessing such a spectacle, I was so thankful for him doing it, I could have cried. But I didn't need to look like a bigger fool than I probably already did last night.

XxX

After showering, changing, popping aspirin, and downing two bottles of water, I joined everyone else downstairs. They were all still in pajamas, night gowns, and their boxers, but not too many seemed to care about that.

Everyone exchanged their gifts, one by one. Tohru lit up like the Christmas tree when she received my present for her, Rin smiled a little at hers, and I made a mental note to call up the Hashiramas and see what they thought of theirs.

It wasn't long before it was down to Haru and I. Because we were in a relationship and were sneaking around to stay in it, we both silently agreed to leave and do the hand-off there. We wound up beneath the stairwell of one of the abandoned hallways. No one was around because it was the new facilities that had just been constructed, and no one had begun living in it yet. Everyone that would be working on it was away with family and lovers, leaving no one but us.

My head still doesn't feel that great, but I choose to push past it long enough to see what he had for me...and to see how he would react to what I got him.

I expect him to retrieve something from his pocket or to pull a Houdini and make a gift bag appear. He doesn't do either one of those things. I gasp when his mask crumbles away again and passion swirls around his grey eyes. He takes his hand in his own, removing the silver band from his ring finger with a pop. He takes the few steps needed to close the distance again before slipping his ring on my finger, right where his had been. The Latin script that says _Love Again_ has a greater effect on me than when I first saw it And I have no clue what to say.

"I have no clue what to say," I echo my thoughts, awe-struck of what he decided to let me keep; something of his that he wore, and held precious meaning to him.

He tilts my chin with his index finger before planting a kiss on my cheek, smiling as he pulls away from me.

"You're welcome."

It takes me a full minute before I realize, he was probably still waiting for what I made him. I fumble with the pocket of my faded jeans, fishing out the note and miniature bag. He decides to unfold the letter first, unknowing of the fact that I have a strong urge to run and never look back. Now I was petrified of what he would think. I wasn't used to saying such things.

 **~ What Hatsuharu Means To Me ~**

 **By: Your Mai. Is it too soon to say that I'm yours? Eh, I'm saying it anyway. :)**

 **H** is for Happy. I hope that you will smile, one day. I mean... _really_ smile.

 **A** is for Accepting. You accepted me despite everything I told you. And all that I haven't.

 **T** is for Tantalizing. For some reason, I really can't help but think of you. Whenever I see something random or something that doesn't make sense, you immediately come to mind. Don't laugh at me for sounding cliche.' I mean it.

 **S** is for Sexy. This one was harder to write. Not because you're not. Not because I'm not attracted to you beyond emotionally. But because you make me feel weird. And I'm not used to wanting to be kissed. Or touched. I can't even tell you how much I love having you touch me. And we only just started.

 **U** is for Unravel. The more I spend time with you, the less I mind opening up to you. I hate telling anyone else about me. Anyone else but you. I've been burned one too many times. I've never lived one moment of my life unbroken. Or what people call normal. You and I are one in the same in that way. But, for some reason...I let you. I let you ask questions. I let you know things. I share my past with you. And I hope to keep sharing the present.

 **H** is for Honest. I know it sounds simple. But, I've lived a life of lies and secrets. Constantly hiding my identity and the name that you kissed. Integrity and truthfulness are so hard to come by. And Moo Man, you have it in spades. I'd be too embarrassed to say this to your face, but...your honesty is pretty sexy too. It shows that you are willing to let me in just like I've let you. And I feel special for being able to know things you've never told anyone else.

 **A** is for Altruistic. I've seen how you look out for Kisa. For Yuki. For me. You care for others even though I see it hurts you sometimes. You help anyone who needs it, just because you're you. To me, this is by far, the most attractive quality about you. Its what made me love having you as my partner, my best friend. My very first, in fact. And now...its one of the things I love about having you as my boyfriend. You're really sweet.

 **R** is for Random. I tried to find another word that would go along with 'R,' but no word suits you better. You dress like an Eskimo in warm weather. You look like someone on their way to a beach when its freezing outside. You never make sense. Even the fact that we're together is odd. But its one of the other things I find endearing about you. Don't think you have to act differently. Or hide Black Haru. Truth is, I don't really see you as 'White Haru' or 'Black Haru.' You're Haru. And you're not really two people. You're a multifaceted, strange, lovable person. Please stay like this.

 **U** is for Undaunted. You're fearless. You're brave. I admire you in every way imaginable. I told myself I wouldn't get sappy when I first started writing this, but here we are. When we were sent on that mission, on the train. I wasn't sure we'd make it out of there. But you pushed past your fear (which is good because we would have died, otherwise) and disabled the bomb that day. And now, I think that's when I first really noticed you. And even though it might be one of the biggest mistakes we make, I don't want to give it up. Not this time.

He doesn't give me the satisfaction of seeing what his opinion of my letter was. He tucks it, carefully, into his back pocket before unwrapping the tiny, lime green, rubbery bag his present was in. When he gets past the matching tissue paper, it is revealed to be a black and white bracelet that I'd made by hand. I wasn't an artsy, arts and craft person by any stretch of the imagination. But I googled how to do it and spent the night before Christmas Eve making it.

He eyes it in curiosity, his gaze flicking upward, to collide with mine.

I will myself to maintain eye contact, to not look away. Because that wasn't who I was. Just like I wanted him to act like himself around me, it was time that I acted like Mai around him.

"The beads represent both parts of you; the light and dark, white and black, gentle and aggressive sides that make up Haru. I want you to see that I love everything about who you are, even though you might have screwed up. You accepted me, so why can't I return the favor?"

Seconds of silence stretch into gut wrenching minutes. I hated silence. I couldn't stand the quiet. But he said nothing for the longest time. I wonder if it was a mistake. Maybe it was too much too soon. We just surpassed a month not too long ago. Maybe I was going too quickly. I should-

"Thank you," he breaks into my thoughts, his smile warm and melting away his formerly glacial features. It was something unusual and unheard of, but definitely something I won't mind getting used to.

For the first time, I throw my arms around his neck, and press my lips to his. This time I kiss him and pour my heart and soul into it, beyond grateful for my partner...my best friend...

My boyfriend, Haru.

And my stomach flips as he responds, with so much force that I almost fall backward. And I realize, that for the first time...I actually enjoyed Christmas. I didn't have my foster parents. Or my biological parents. But I had my friends...and, I had him.

* * *

 **Merry Christmas to everyone! ^_^ I hope I covered all the bases of Christmas time...I love the entire season lol xD Sorry about updating so late. I planned to do it yesterday and wrote most of this on Christmas Eve. *sigh***

 **I thought the holidays call for a break from missions...sometimes :) And these chapters were fluff galore. But, in my defense, you guys are about to be hit with angst. Next chapter will be a new mission, and...you'll find out about Mai's parents. The grits are about to hit the fan with this upcoming mission. It calls for Haru's dark side.**

 **The chapter questions will resume in the next one.**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: Pardon me, Miss. But I do believe your name changed since the last time we talked O.O But I hope you enjoyed your Christmas android of the queen. Oh, and the human version as well xD Huh, I can see that. I'm sure you and Akito will do well with taking over the world and forcing everyone to submit to you. That...would be awesome! Or a migraine waiting to happen with having Shigure and Ayame as partners lol**

* * *

 **See you all next chapter! Baiii :3 Wait a minute...this is the last chapter of the year O.O Ok, then! See you all in 2016! Bye :)**


	13. Chapter 13: Flirting With Disaster

**Warning: Sensitive (Sexual) Content at the end of this chapter. Discretion is advised.**

 **Chapter Thirteen: Flirting With Disaster**

Engines hum from red and blue karts, revved up to burn rubber on asphalt at the Go Kart Arena of Tokyo, Japan. I tremble slightly, out of anticipation and the chill that made my nose burn and my face feel frozen. It was predictably in the 30's being February and all, so I was extremely thankful for the bomber jacket Haru gifted me with just the other day. I'd already decided I would want an insignia of something that held a lot of meaning to me. I just hadn't figured out what it would be yet. But I don't think anything would be as important as my necklace or Haru's ring.

 _Love Again._

His hands are shoved deeply into the pockets of his own pleather jacket, drawing it around me and pressing his chest against my back so that his body heat and covering warms me further. I flash him a smile in appreciation as we move forward in the line, amused at Tohru's kid-in-a-candy-shop expression. Earlier, though, all my attention belonged to her surprise guest - her boyfriend, whom I'd actually met before.

"Hatori? What are you doing here?" I'd asked, taken aback at the stoic man and the fact that he _wasn't_ wearing a doctor's coat or behind a desk in Akito's office. He worked right under Akito. Who's to say that he won't report Haru and I being together? That being said, as much as it pained me, I wasn't okay with Tohru's bright idea of taking it upon herself to invite _him_. Quite frankly, I was pretty upset.

"Um...we...uh-" I stuttered, my mind working at lightning speed to come up with a plausible explanation for us being together. I hated lying, I didn't want to do it anymore.

"Mai asked if I wanted to hangout and I agreed. I considered it compensation for borrowing money from me and not paying me back. This time, she's treating me," Haru explained, saving my hide before I made a big fool of myself.

I couldn't help but sigh in relief. All of that _was_ true, actually. I did borrow some change from him, I decided to take him some place as a way of apologizing for not paying up, and the fees for tonight were all on me. The only thing he left out was the fact that I also thought of this as a date, but Hatori didn't need to know any of that.

He looked skeptical for a minute more before his expression reverted back to impassivity and we'd made our way to the fast track line. All I could think was 'phew' for my boyfriend's extremely handy ability to think on his feet the way he did. Because I almost blew the whole thing.

Before I knew it, we were at the front of the line and were able to either ride with someone or go by ourselves. When I was sure that Hatori and Tohru were in their own kart in front of us, I sidled up beside Haru, agreeing to share one too.

I would be the last person to say anything, but I was apprehensive about it. Haru was driving this time (he still didn't trust me, so rude) but I had a hard time shaking my nerves, this being my first time on a race track and everything. Thankfully, Haru read me like a book, and he reached for my hand, his thumb sweeping across my knuckles where his ring rested on the fourth finger to the left. I practically beamed at the low-key reminder that I was his and he wouldn't let anything happen to me, right before his foot slams on the pedal and we zip down the road and our environment whirls past us.

My leg jostled with the bumpy road while I watched him swerve to avoid bumping into a fellow racer, putting more pressure on the gas pedal, but avoiding the break like the plague. My foot, on the other hand, hovered near my only chance of survival the entire ride. As long as we didn't spin out, I'd be safe.

When it came to a close and we trailed after a slightly frazzled Hatori and upbeat Tohru, I gripped Haru's arm to steady myself as I grew as pale as the full moon hanging above our heads. For the rest of the night, we simply decided to alternate between spectating and arcade games, much to my relief at not having to race again.

And even though Haru made no jokes about it or teased me, I knew he did that for me.

...

"Mai, you know what tomorrow is, right?"

I cease in my search through the bookshelf, not knowing what Haru could possibly be talking about. I had a calendar tacked to the wall of my bedroom; it was actually a Man of the Month calendar, with abs and pecs galore. Haru wasn't that happy about it, though he only grunted when he saw it, it was to be expected. I'd feel the same if I saw him with a Bodacious Beach Babes calendar on his wall.

My point is, I have a photographic memory, so its unlike me to not remember something visual. I mark all the utmost important events on my calendar and organizer, including training and mission dates respectively. In other words, I had no clue what tomorrow was. His birthday was in the summer. It _was_ almost Valentine's Day but not for a few days more, so our three month anniversary was just two weeks away.

In the end, I had half a mind to pretend I knew, but I valued honesty too highly to try and trick him.

Ok. That and the fact that he'd see through it immediately.

I slump against the dusty shelf, wincing at the shame that made heat rise to my cheeks. "No..."

For awhile, there's nothing but silence. Next thing I know, Haru throws me over his shoulder - fireman style - and flops down on my unmade, clothes covered bed. He falls back due to my weight against his shoulder and he belatedly realizes that it wasn't the best idea of his as my head almost slams into the headboard behind us.

I slide off so that I lie beside him, staring up at the ceiling of my dorm room, wishing to stave off the awkwardness somehow. Wasn't he going to tell me what tomorrow was? Oh crap. What if he was actually one of those really sentimental people that made half-month anniversaries and things of the like? For some reason, I was starting to feel nauseous all of a sudden.

And it didn't fade with the sound of his laughter, either.

I roll on my side so that I glower at his profile, not liking the way he seems to be having a good old time while I'm over here concerned and ill. "And just _what_ is so funny, Hatsuharu?"

"You," he starts, smirking when I use his full name, "Seeing you get all worked up. Its cute."

I huff, jutting my lip out in a pout - like he'd done all those months ago - and clasp my hands together over my stomach, impatiently waiting for an explanation. "Alright, out with it. What exactly is tomorrow? Its only February."

My question causes him to sober up and his laughter quiets as his eyes take on a nostalgic expression. The grey resembles stormy rain clouds touched with a soft gleam to them that tells of hidden sadness.

"Tomorrow our class project ends. We move onto our next class."

Oh.

It was like a ton dropped to the pit of my stomach and I was dragged down with it. I'd forgotten all about the foreboding date of when we'd have to give up Ayure. Our class wrapped up back in mid-January after finals, but we still held onto our projects until tomorrow. We were already in new classes, in the literal sense. I was taking Psychology II and he was in Veterinarian Assisting (I know, I was surprised too). But it was as if we were still in Parenting with that kooky teacher of ours, when I hadn't wanted to be in that class in the first place.

And now...I still hated that class. But I _loved_ Ayure.

I sit upright, glancing over at Ayure resting on the desk, and staring back at us with his dull, glassy eyes. I did get the willies when I stared at him too long, but I would truly miss having him around. I wouldn't mind not having to hear the wails, but I still felt slightly empty at the thought of giving him up.

Haru's arm circles my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder, his gaze on me instead of Ayure. I can't help but smile at the feel of his hand over my stomach, protectively and possessively resting against me. My focus shifts to the bookshelf I was looking through only moments before, providing me with just the epiphany I needed.

"Why don't we have a small send-off party? We can just invite Rin, Tohru, Shigure, and Ayame since they're the ones that helped out. And Tohru is my best friend."

"Can Yuki come?" Haru inquired, his voice carrying a pleading tone to it. I shake my head, barely surprised at his request after hearing about their history and how he adored him like a brother. Though he was kind of like Ayame what with calling him his first love and all.

"Yes," I consent, grinning as his lips roam over my cheek. "And you don't have to kiss me for me to say yes, y'know?"

"I know. I just like your face," he deadpans, smirking against the corner of my mouth as his lips trace it.

I snort at this, my hand automatically moving to the back of his head to pull him closer than I thought to be possible many moons ago. "Good. And I think the party will be great for something else I have in mind."

He freezes, leaning back to look at me through narrowed eyes. "Do you mean what I _think_ you mean, Mai? Are you suggesting that we-"

"NO." I shake my head feverishly, trying to stop myself from blushing for the millionth time. "I was talking about the photo album I bought, Haru."

No, not that...I wasn't ready for that sort of thing. And call me 'old-fashioned' but I believed that I should wait until I'm married before I have sex with anyone. Besides, we just got together on Thanksgiving and there was no need to hurry things along.

"Oh," he says, shrugging before bringing his arms up in a stretch. His back pops with the movement and he gets to his feet, starting for the door. He turns the knob, looking at me over his shoulder. "We can have it in my dorm. And Mai?"

"Yes," I squeak, my hands clenching the hem of my pleated uniform skirt.

"...never mind. I'll see you at seven." And with that, the door shuts behind him with a click.

...

Haru's and Yuki's room had been completely transformed; their dorm was bathed in bright, appealing colors, basked in ambient lighting and filled with chill jazz music that seemed fit for a small get together between friends. After tending to Ayure, I lit a spearmint scented candle that set a calm, tranquil atmosphere as we all ate and hung out.

In a not-so shocking turn of events, Shigure and Ayame hadn't remained tame for long and things got to be a _little_ bit crazier than we'd initially planned. The renowned perverted raven haired man jumped up onto the coffee table, kimono and all, cupping his mouth to loudly proclaim, "Its time for the dance competition!"

As I looked around the room, I almost laughed at the way Yuki was eyeing Shigure's obi as if he were contemplating strangling him with it. Rin sighed roughly through her nose, putting one leg over the other, her tiny black shorts riding up her porcelain white thighs. "No," was her curt answer as she made to leave before I jumped in front of her.

"Rinny~" I mock whine, folding my hands to beg her to stay. "Please? I promise, I will make it up to you." I shoot a dark glare in Shigure's direction, effectively shutting him up temporarily as I plead with the horse. "Pretty please?"

She scoffs, shifting her weight to the other foot, and rolling her eyes. "You clean up your side of the room. And, I get to pick the paint color for when we revamp our room. Capisce?"

"Done and done," I agree to the terms and conditions, bobbing my head emphatically. "Now come on, a dance-off might be just the thing we need to mellow out all of those missions. They've been pretty tiring as of late."

That they were. We've both completed twenty missions since the day after Christmas, and haven't had a rest yet. Apparently, we could sign on for paid time off, but I had two problems with doing that; the job was to me like oxygen was to people, and we were only allowed a certain number of breaks per year so I was saving mine up for when I really needed it. Like spring break, some of summer vacation, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Some people used theirs all in one go, I was stingy and waited until I felt it was absolutely necessary.

Rin plops herself down on the couch with mild indignation whilst I take center stage, climbing onto the mahogany so that I'm right beside Shigure and have a perfect view of everyone else.

"Alright! Who will fight me- er, I mean _dance_ against me." I wonder if that's even proper grammar for a second or two before I get yet another shock when Rin rises to the challenge of facing off against me. Well, well, well...I guess wonders never cease.

"Stop acting so surprised, Mai. Its not like I don't have fun," Rin admonishes, scowling to distract from the humor glittering in her chocolate brown orbs.

I shrug, smiling at the fact she was getting into it, when Tohru cheers from her place in front of us.

"Yay! I hope you two have fun. Maybe I should give it a try, next."

I nod, my cheeks aching from how much I was grinning now. "You should. And maybe Yuki or Haru could take you on. I think that could be _pretty_ interesting."

Haru twirls his rings, looking on with an air of indifference in comparison to his best friend who appeared to be as white as the sheets that were draped over his bed.

"Alright. Are you ready? Or did you get scared and change your mind?" I taunt, trying to provoke the competitive side I saw in our pillow fight a couple of months ago.

Rin snorts, stretching her leg behind her before she drops it, her high-heeled boot landing in the plain carpet. "As if that would happen." 'Because I'm The Best/Roll Deep' by Hyuna blasts from the speakers set up for the event and we both begin. "Prepare to lose, Mai."

"Don't worry about me, honey. I came here to win."

I break out into my improvised routine, complete with the moves in the video to the best of my ability. My memory was really becoming more and more useful as I shimmied before dropping to the ground and booty popping to the beat. Rin caught onto the choreography and mirrored my movements, her enjoyment bleeding through her carefully constructed mask of vexation at being 'dragged into' our dance battle.

Shigure and Ayame gave whoops and catcalls of excitement and Tohru turned thirty shades of red as she tried not to shield her eyes from our kind-of-sorta-maybe risque dancing. Yuki himself had a pink tinge to his cheeks while Haru was just eating it all up, though he didn't react outwardly. I could feel him watching me and only me throughout the entire thing. Which made me feel...appreciated. And attractive. Well, it was either that or I looked like a flapping chicken. But I'd rather think it was the former.

When the song came to an end, two of the Mabudachi Trio jumped to their feet, clapping and cheering unabashedly in stark contrast to a politely clapping, yet blushing Yuki and Tohru whom had her head bowed to hide the way her cheeks flushed at our display. Rin and I took our separate sides of the room as the next battle was about to commence between Tohru and Ayame (Yuki kindly turned down the offer to embarrass himself). Haru's sunless orbs appeared to be darkening with something that gave me chills as my imagination ran away with me in regards to what he was thinking. My shoulder brushed against his in a small burst of body heat being exchanged, before he whispered something to me that brought color to my own cheeks that I couldn't blame on my previous exertion.

"You looked _sexy_."

Its been three months and I'm still not used to the compliments. And this? This was new. He's called me beautiful, cute, and on our first mission - pretty. But this is the first time that he called me _that_.

Is it normal to feel warm like this?

...

"I'm thinking that we should have the walls painted nothing but black," Rin murmured, flipping through paint swatches and samples we picked up at the nearby hardware store.

I grumbled, beginning to regret our little agreement of her choosing the paint color. "Do you _really_ want to come home to a life-sucking void and feel like you fell asleep and woke up in a black hole?"

"Yes," she answered, shortly. "If you don't like it, you can invest in an eye mask."

"An eye mask? Are you kidding me?!" I screeched, already preparing to give her a piece of my mind when there was a random knock at our door. Though I slip into my black and white house shoes, I gesture with my two forefingers between my eyes and her as if to say 'I'm watching you' before pulling the door open.

Waves of uneasiness and fear burden me as I come face to face with a woman that looked to be an older version of myself. Curly streams of golden hair tumble and spill over dainty shoulders, reaching to the small of her back. Her eyes, though crows-feet and wrinkle free, are a shimmering tawn that are narrowed into scrutinizing slits as they rake their way down from my head to my toes. The woman had the body of a supermodel, donning the clothes of a billionaire, and shoes that gave her short height a boost so that she towers over me by and inch or two.

I blanch, speechless beneath her judgmental expression and apparent meticulous personality that matched my own anal-retentive tendencies to a T (except where making my bed and picking up stray clothes were involved. Okay, I was more so the person that didn't like unclean things like germs...did I mention I ramble when I'm nervous?).

"Mai, I'm your mother."

She really shouldn't beat around the bush like that. Ugh, I get sarcastic too.

"And I would like to conduct a tête-à-tête if you don't mind."

I should have known right then how our little discussion would go. She lost me at tête-à-tête. Whatever _that_ was.

...

We were seated at a private outdoor cafe' that boasted of extravagance and luxury. Though it was just mid-morning on a Tuesday, so there were far less people than the establishment attracted. World famous cappuccinos - that she decided to order for the both of us - topped off with frothy foam that was shaped and crafted into varying designs. Mine was of a cow, in hopes of it bringing me some comfort. She just waved away the offer of coffee art and stuck with her plain, bitter drink, without sugar or cream to sweeten it.

She pursed her carmine stained lips, unsatisfied with the way their Daifuku tasted. I could only assume it was because it wasn't as robust or amarodial as the beverage she took small, periodic sips from.

Beneath the table, I twirled Haru's ring, bombarded with fear that I'd be rejected today by my own mother. This was one of the reasons I never sought them out. I didn't want to feel the pain of being let down or cast aside like I'd been most of my life. I was finally happy, so of course, she decided to show up...

I might sound ungrateful or harsh. But I didn't feel any warmth from her, I didn't feel welcomed. There was nothing but a gust of arctic wind that kept us at a distance, just as we'd always been.

"What year are you? Still in middle school, I presume." Her eyebrow raised, pointedly challenging me to contradict her inquiry and make our lack of closeness plain as day.

"...actually, I'm a few months shy of my fourth year beginning. I'm excited about-"

"So here's the skinny," she cuts in, dropping her sophisticated demeanor. "I highly doubt it, but have you heard of a company known as Lapiz industries?"

Did I know of it? Pfft. It was a powerhouse company in Japan, being the makeup-fashion hybrid that stood forty stories high; the CEO of the company - though I'd forgotten her name - was able to look down at the city, watching the specs of people bustle through the streets in between her fast-paced, successful career. It was groundbreaking, especially within our society where woman were still believed to be meant to pop out babies and give into their husband's every whim. I admired her from what I'd heard. She was even an advocate for mothers (whom had the means to do so) keeping their children and putting them first.

"I have," I respond, nonchalantly. "What about her?"

A small smile tugs at her lips before it flattens into a straight line, and she clasps her hands together in her lap. "I am she, darling."

Whoa. No. Way. My mom was Maho Kagome! Now that I looked at her, the name came back to me. But it was weird...she was someone that 'hated' the idea of giving up children without good reason to. So, then...how could _she_ be my mom?

"Um...where's my dad? Is he still around?" I ask, careful to not let my voice waver as my facade was beginning to slip.

My mother just gives a shake of her head, her hand coming up to wrap around her mug, without bothering to drink from it. There was a look in her eyes that told me it wasn't gonna be good news, no matter how much it hurt to think it wasn't.

"He died," she states, dryly. "He got himself killed in the line of duty. I told him not to go into the service, but he just disregarded it. There were other options for him besides getting his legs blown off if that was _really_ what he wanted to do. I mean, hasn't he heard of the technical side of things?"

I bow my head, out of respect and sorrow for the man I would never have the chance to see in person. Outside of that reoccurring dream of watching his shoes walk away from me, I wouldn't meet him. I wouldn't hear the sound of his voice...I couldn't know him.

Exhaling harshly, she takes one of the worst possible moments to give me orders, cutting our conversation short as if I were merely an associate instead of her flesh and blood. And every last word stung, every last syllable felt like a well calculated punch, and it _all_ knocked the breath out of my lungs and drove the thoughts out of my mind.

"You may not disclose this information to anyone. If you so desire, I will give you a monthly payment of as much as you like. So long as you keep the fact that you're my daughter hush-hush, I will hold up my end. I mean, what would it look like for me? A woman of my caliber and a daughter born out of wedlock...it was lovely meeting you, Mia. But I must leave for a meeting now."

Everything seemed to have built up to this moment. But the truth was watered down from what I'd pictured, disappointing and defeating.

I sat in silence as I heard the click-clack of retreating footsteps, still and motionless despite the activity in full swing around me. Every other sound became a dull roar and all I could do was correct her in my head. Because she got it wrong. She got me _so_ wrong.

Mai...it's Mai, mom.

...

I had high hopes of what my parents would be like. I'd imagined so many scenarios where they were wealthy and when I would live with them, they'd stop at nothing to make me want for nothing, and love me beyond what I was capable of fathoming. Or I assumed they left me to my devices because they were in poverty but were working themselves to the bone just so that they could get me back. And though they'd struggled and had been poor, their love would be the richest and most abundant the world had ever seen.

But...my reality was nothing like my fantasies.

My dad was dead. My mom didn't love me. Though she was just as well off as I'd hoped, it meant nothing to me when I thought about how cold and ruthless she was towards me. The fact that...she was really ashamed of me. And that's why she didn't want me.

I was hoping that wouldn't be true. And that's where I went wrong. I hoped. And look where that got me.

As if I hadn't taken enough of a beating today, I came across the results of my qualification exam the moment I arrived at my dorm. It was a manila folder addressed to Agent 014, typed up and taped to the tab where it was wedged between the door.

With shaky hands, I turn the knob and retrieve it, making my way to the bed because I didn't have the capacity to stand due to my wobbly legs and upset stomach.

I take my time, pulling at the metal prongs until the flap is released from its seal, and I gradually slip the fancy document out of its parchment, too nervous to look at it all at once.

 _Dear Agent 014,_

 _Based on the results of both your IQ test and Qualification Exam, Sohma Agency has determined that you are suited for the Assassin Elites. We highly recommend that you begin your training the following week in both the Seduction Arts and Assassin Technique lessons. We look forward to bearing witness to your progress and watching you become the agent we know you are capable of becoming._

 _Congratulations,_

 _Akito Sohma_

And to make it even more hilarious (to me anyway) Akito signed it using strokes of calligraphy and an official stamp, like he was the president or something. But that was the extent of the humor I found in this situation. Because the _last_ thing I wanted was to kill people. I'd left that life behind me, never to be rehashed or spoken of. Right alongside lying, I hated it, and never wanted anything to do with it again.

But...I had no choice.

...

Waves of salt lap over the white sand that squishes between my toes, as I lie my head on Haru's broad shoulder, and his arm wraps around my waist once more.

After having left New Leaf and downing three cups of coffee, I decided to ask Haru to meet me at the beach so that I could just sit here with him. He knew that meant I just wanted someone to console me and not ask questions. It was the only way I could ask without feeling weak and pathetic.

One day I'd tell him. As I intertwined my arm with his and my he joined our hands together, I vowed to myself and him right there. _No more secrets_. Only openness and being real with each other from here on out. At least, after today when I've had a moment to collect my thoughts and just let someone else carry my problems for awhile.

A bird native to Japan squawked, resting its talons on a wooden pillar jutting out of the area that separated the grass from the sand, carrying a trout in its beak before gulping it back and taking flight minutes later. It hadn't been bothered enough to leave before, because we were so still.

If it hadn't been for the bird's loss of interest, I'm sure it would have been there for a few hours more.

Because that's how long we sat out here, in silence.

And for once...I didn't hate the quiet.

...

 **Mai Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma (Agent 014 and Agent 005)**

 **Intelligence Partner: Yuki Sohma**

 **Mission Details: One of Japan's government secretaries is suspected of harboring illegal material and selling secrets to our enemies in exchange for weaponry and moonshine. You are to investigate and find out what he is planning and report back with the information; this is solely reconnaissance. You are not to engage in a fight of any kind with the target.**

 **Target: Secretary Isamu Hiyagota**

 **...**

I didn't know that holding down a secretary job would mean living large, with a mansion that rivaled our leader's home, and manicured lawns, swimming pool, hot tub, and spa included. An orchestra switched off with another, so that classical music was a constant throughout the maze that was their garden.

Haru and I were dressed for the occasion; I simply slipped into a deep purple pencil skirt, a crisp, white peasant blouse, and black Mary-Janes that were silent enough for me to search the estates for the information we needed. Haru opted for a black dress shirt, matching slacks, socks, and fancy-schmancy shoes. Though I think we were both missing our combat boots at this point. Without them we weren't ourselves, which was kind of the point.

The stench of tobacco wafted over from a young man's cigar, awkwardly balanced between his middle and ring finger, while the other hand slicked back a head of brunette. He stood tall and proud, parading alongside his father - the man we were looking into - whom he appeared to be a spitting image of. Having been trained like I have, I was observant of body language and posture to help me determine the nature of targets and clients. Hiyagota-sama seemed to be well-mannered, astute, and wise, though that was most likely just for appearances based on his file. His son, on the other hand came off as a self-entitled, haughty, playboy. And if I recalled correctly, I think he actually was an 18 year-old whom fit that description exactly.

His son pranced over and took my hand in his own glacial appendage, putting his wax-like lips to the top of my hand and placing a sloppy, wet kiss. Thankfully, I slipped out of his hold - as politely as I dared - rather than recoiling like I almost had, and took three infinitesimal steps back. There was something about him that struck me as unnerving, though. But maybe it was just his kiss and personality that was so off-putting. Maybe I was just being paranoid again.

"Hiyagota-sama," Haru greeted the man of the hour, exchanging a quick handshake before retreating and moving closer to me. "We've been invited to go over the new business deal you had in mind?"

"Yes, yes, right this way," he concurred in his deep, booming voice. "Can I offer you something to drink? To eat? I can get one of my housemaids to fix something for you."

"No thank you, that won't be necessary," Haru replies, stepping into his role as he follows Hiyagota towards the adjoining room of books, filing cabinets, and meager decor. "I'd prefer that we get down to business. But, do you mind having my partner escorted to the bathroom?" His voice dropped to a soft volume. "Her bladder is that of a sixty year old woman sometimes."

The secretary guffawed at that statement before clapping him on the shoulder, his blinding smile causing his mustache to dance in response. "Of course. My wife was very similar in that right. Women...my son can show her where it is. He often likes to entertain any female clients that I meet with."

And you're okay with that?

I plaster on my best fake smile, taking the arm that was offered to me and allowing myself to be lead by his nameless spawn. Ugh. Did I mention how much I can't stand him?

He turned down a third hallway, getting us out of ear shot before saying, "I apologize for my lack of manners. The name is Hotaka Hiyagota. And you must be called gorgeous, right?"

Excuse me while I go hurl on their perfectly polished parlor floors.

"No, but thank you. Um...you can call me Tera-san. I imagine that we'll be getting to know one another since these business deals tend to go on all day."

He chuckles good-naturedly, his hand gliding to the small of my back as he leads me into a room that rattled my nerves on sight. For one, it wasn't a bathroom. Two, it was dank and dark and lead to a staircase that spiraled into the depths of the unknown.

"Um...I thought you were-"

His hand clamps over my mouth, pressing a cloth stained with chemicals that I inhale because of the shock. The second I realize that its chloroform is a second too late, as my eyes roll to the back of my head and I slump against him.

...

My eyelids seemed to be strapped down because I couldn't muster up the energy to lift them. Everything just felt so heavy - my eyes, my body, my mind...and it felt like I was in a wreck with how disorientated and groggy I was. Hearing the sound of growling from my left, I force my eyes open, scanning my surroundings through bleary eyes. There was nothing but blurry shadows and darkness before I saw white and grey from where the sound came from.

My chapped, dry lips part to allow a gasp to escape them, barely registering how strangled and hideous it sounded to my ears. I was far too transfixed by Haru, shackled to a wall of grey cinder, noting the way the cuffs dug into his skin mercilessly breaking its protective layer. It wasn't until I caught sight of the dried blood caked onto the wounds on his wrists that the coppery scent smacked me in the face and sent my mind spiraling.

It was then that I became acutely aware of the dry, uncomfortable sensation in my throat. I needed water and I needed it badly before I lost it. I must have been deprived of fluids for hours if I was already this desperately craving it on top of the chloroform's affects. I was just so thirsty, and it was already a phenomenal feat to not succumb to unconsciousness again because of the immense exhaustion that engulfed me with each taxing breath I took.

Any chances of hearing what happened from him or being distracted with conversation went out the window when I noticed the mildew stained rag stuffed into his mouth to gag him and prevent him from talking. His onyx eyes were hard and steady as if reassuring me, unable to voice such encouragement.

 _Stay strong. I'll get us out of this...alive._

I silently commanded myself to calm the panic that danced in my eyes and made my heart threaten to leap out of my chest. Because I just knew that we would get out of here together. But I could only hope that one of us wouldn't leave this place in a body bag with a one-way ticket to the morgue.

I let my eyes fall closed, trying to concentrate through the weighty fog that made it a valiant effort to form coherent thoughts and begin planning. Breathe, Mai...open your eyes and look around, be patient and think.

I will my eyes open again, hit with the sudden realization that I _wasn't_ chained to the wall, but was simply bound to an uncomfortable, wooden chair, restrained with iron-strong white rope. I was thankful to not have metal digging into my flesh or to be suspended from the ceiling until all the blood rushed to my head. We seemed to be in an underground chamber, judging by the dampness in the air that seemed to be dripping off the cinder block. There was also an earthy smell that was tinged by Haru's blood, emanating from a wall of vegetation that seemed to somehow be capable of living despite the lack of sunlight. So, it was either artificial or they were just recently brought down here after being grown elsewhere.

I never bothered to brush up on the different kinds of plants they were, but I could only assume that they were for decoration. Though I wasn't naive enough to accept that explanation.

But I didn't get the chance to continue searching because the door scraped against the slate floor, signaling our captor's entrance before it slammed shut behind him with a heavy thud that shattered what little concentration I managed.

I could still barely lift my head for long, so I didn't know whom our visitor was until glossy, obsidian loafers entered my line of sight as I stared at the ground they stood on. An icy finger tilted my chin up so that I stared into those unreal blue eyes of our client's son. He was the embodiment of cocky as a smug grin played along his pale pink lips, revealing perfectly white and straight teeth. From the moment I met him, I knew he put thousands of yen into his appearance, and was as prideful as they come. But this, was something else entirely.

"How are you?" He questioned, a taunting edge grating along his boyish voice. "Are you enjoying your stay?"

I kept quiet. I just held his gaze, not even tempted to shy away from the intensity that hadn't retreated since he approached. I scolded myself inwardly for jumping when his finger teased the waistband of my mauve pencil skirt, giving himself a preview of the lacy black that poked out just beneath it.

I distantly picked up on the sound of rattling, but was too furious to pay attention. Apparently this idiot didn't know anything about my hot temper or credentials, both a deadly combination when you made an enemy of me. He inched it further down my waist with the finger hooking itself in the waistband as the other moved to the zipper on the side; but I didn't let him continue, gathering enough strength to spit right in his face. He staggered back slightly, scrubbing frantically at his cheeks as if it could actually erase what just happened.

Hotaka's baby blues darkened, subduing the fury that looked so wrong in such beautiful eyes. Before I knew what was happening he lunged at me in a flash, grabbing at my chin, his manicured nails sending a stabbing pain through my skin.

"You're going to submit to _me_ , baby. You don't have a choice. Unless you want me to get mean, I suggest you do as I say the first time I say it. And I will _not_ tolerate any disrespect from you."

I had to squash down the urge to bite him as my unbridled rage was slowly eating away at me. With a deep sigh, I choose to not respond and he releases me with satisfaction written all over his arrogant expression. He takes a few careful steps backwards until he's right in front of a table I hadn't noticed before, covered in varying tools that I suspected he was intending to use for his own sick amusement. What I _didn't_ understand was why he was doing this. What could he have to gain from hurting me, or Haru?

Hotaka playfully ran his hand along a scalpel before grabbing for it and twirling it between his scarred forefingers and closing the distance between us.

"Hmm. I'm trying to decide which method to use on you. Because there are many, many tempting options. All are just so pleasant that I almost hope that you will refuse to talk so that I can try all of them," he snarled, lowly and seductively as he crouched so that he rested on his haunches in front of me. He looks up so that his ocean clashes with my amber, taking the hem of my skirt and sawing it with the knife held in his lazy grip. I bite back a hiss as the blade grazes my thigh once he's managed to make a slit in the material and he tucks it into the belt loop of his jeans. My eyebrows draw together, giving away the anxiety that was beginning to spur in my chest at the thought of being potentially nude again. Even after that mission, I never wanted anyone else to see me...but what if that happened? Here. In front of _him_.

"I want to play a game," he purred, putting his lip near my ear and exhaling hot air so that my body reacted and chills dotted my arms. "Let's see how long it takes for me to get what I want," he breathes out, his tongue running from my ear lobe to my collarbone, his breath reeking of space barley and saltine crackers. "I've been looking forward to this since I first laid eyes on you."

Rattling starts up again and I follow the sound to see Haru struggling against the steel hold of the cuffs, inky blackness leaking into his deep, aphotic pools of grey the closer Hotaka got and the more his wounds reopened, blood trickling down his wrists in a steady stream.

A sting ripples from my shoulder, an acerbic taste rising in the back of my throat as his teeth sunk into my skin and dragged the peasant sleeve of my blouse down so that my shoulder was exposed to the musty, moist air.

"Remember to only pay attention to me," he commands, seriousness carefully concealed behind a cheery inflection. "It would be such a shame to break your ribs before I got a chance to feel you against me, now wouldn't it?"

I snarl at what he's suggesting, turning my head so that I can spare myself from having to watch him as I try to formulate a plan of escape. And when everything was said and done, I was kicking this guy's butt! That's a promise. Maybe he thought I'd be playing right into his hands, but if I pretend to give into him, maybe I can take him out once I get at least _one_ hand free. But, that required that I'd have at least something sharp on me...the scalpel! That was it! All I had to do was get him to let me out of the chair somehow or get behind me and I'd be able to retrieve it for sure.

"So tell me," he whispered, his hands curling under the edge of my blouse. "Where is he?"

"Who the heck are you talking about?"

His brunette eyebrows furrowed, clearly displaying his dissatisfaction with my answer. "Don't play stupid. I know who you really are, Mai Sohma. Now, we can try this one more time before I take drastic measures with you...where is Ryu Kashima?"

My breath leaves me in a rush as if he just slugged me in the stomach, almost completely unaware of anything else as the room seems to shrink and a weight settles on my chest, like something was sitting there. It was too much trying to process anything as memories flooded my mind and stole my attention away from the situation at hand.

Ryu...? Why did he mention him? Did Ryu skip out on a deal and he was here to collect from his last known partner? No, what am I saying? He's locked away in the slammer. I hadn't heard anything of his escape. It would have made headlines otherwise. Maybe he saw the name on my wrist. I hadn't bothered to cover it this morning because we were in such a hurry to catch the train on time. Dangit. What else did he know?

My thoughts skidded to an abrupt halt as he slipped the top over my head, tossing it to the lead colored slate that emitted coolness to combat the humidity that surrounded us. But all I could think about was the fact that I was in nothing but my bra and skirt, completely vulnerable to his lascivious ogling. A whimper that sounds like someone else flees from my lips when his thumb delves into my bellybutton, his nail slicing through me like a serrated blade as it pokes my flesh.

Metal jangles more harshly from the left of me as a drop of blood dribbles down my abdomen and stains the top of my skirt as he repeats the question from before. "Where is Ryu Kashima?"

I nearly groan in frustration, already worn out from his pointless questions and ignorance. Clearly, he was just a boy, trying to act grown, stepping into the adult side of business and learn about something that was completely out of his league. I may be in pain, but its not like I wasn't tortured before. I can handle it. I've witnessed and partaken in interrogations and this was nothing. Though...I really wasn't okay with flashing my bra to the world, I'd just have to grin and bear it until it was done with.

"I don't know, stupid. The last I saw him was before you even learned to tie your shoes. Judging by your lack of maturity, I'm sure it was only just last week that you managed such a _complicated_ task," I throw back, no longer willing to hold back the growing hatred I felt towards this boy.

But he did nothing more than just cock his head to the side and smile as if he found me adorable for standing up to him. He wielded his scalpel, brandishing it before plunging it deep into my kneecap, forcing an unwarranted cry of pain out of me as blood gushes out of the site of intrusion. I would never admit it (not that I needed to) but it hurt like nobody's business and there was nothing I could take or do to dull the pain. So I clamp down, hard, on my lip so that I wouldn't let any more sounds out. I couldn't stop the tear from rolling down my cheek as I made small attempts to mute the pain by concentrating on everything else.

"Mai," a familiar voice sounded, causing me to snap my head to the left at a gag-free Haru staring Hotaka down with murder in his eyes. It was in that moment that I discovered how close he was to becoming his darker counterpart. He'd only need one more push before it was all over. "Are you...okay?" He gritted out, his teeth clenched with his efforts to keep from snarling.

"I'm- ow!" I cough, doubling over as much as the barrier of cord allows, taking in desperate breaths of oxygen to recover from the punch that seemed to smash my insides and lead to crimson raining down from my lips in a spray of blood.

Whiteness flashed before my eyes as it felt like my ribs were curling in on themselves. And I hated it. I could feel my resolve crumbling around me as the white hot pain slowly ripped me apart from my very core. But no, I refused to be brought to my knees by some...some pretentious, spoiled little cad that thought he deserved the world and everything in it. I was stronger than that. I just had to ignore the doubt in my mind that whispered the opposite.

" **You lowly little scumbag** ," Haru's voice resembles the roar of thunder, loud and condescending to whom it was directed at. It was the voice that drew the line and declared you as insignificant and foolish to challenge a storm. " **Keep your hands off of her**."

Even though it was said out of defending me, I couldn't help but shiver at the promise of death that seemed so alien coming from him. But it didn't deter our captor any. In a blatant show of defiance, his hand pressed down on my zipper - though useless due to severed material - until the skirt slid down my legs in one fluid, taunting motion.

Blood howled in my ears like an alarm as my nerves kicked into overdrive, my body knowing the ending while my mind was still dead stuck in the middle. Between the fire that scorched my fragmented bones and my scarcely covered figure. The moment his hand ran along the inside of my thighs, I knew my body would betray me. It was already responding and tingling at the revolting touch of undesirable, frigid hands. And I nearly cursed myself for the warmth that was slowly beginning to pool in my stomach as if this was something enjoyable.

Though I tried to keep positive about it, I accepted that this would never reach an end. Even if he stopped touching me and breaking me, his presence would still follow and haunt me like a ghost until I went mad and became a cheap, pitiful imitation of what I once was. And that was one of the worst things about all of this.

"What is he planning? Why is he recruiting? Word seems to be that he escaped just the month before and the authorities are still searching for his hideout. I'm sure you know..."

"I told you," I snapped, flinching at the affect yelling was having on my broken ribs. "I don't know where he is, you imbecile. If I did, do you think I would be here, with you? I don't have to answer anymore of your questions. Maybe if you release me, I will ease up on the suffering I already had in mind for you."

Hotaka's eyes look wide and crazed as he breaks out into raucous laughter, cackling as if he'd just succeed in his master plan of my ruin and his prize was within his reach. In one swift movement, my underwear is yanked down so that it glides off my ankles and rests at my feet. He spreads my legs apart, hurriedly unfastening his pants with malice shining in the depths of his once innocent baby blues.

My heart slams against my chest and the chains in the background begin clattering like there's no tomorrow moments before it happens. It was torture. He didn't prepare me. There was no warning. There was nothing but me, and him when he thrust himself into me and I saw nothing but nebulae and blackness hurling my vision into an abyss of disturbed waters. He moved in and out, like a pendulum, in quick successions as a mixture of pain, anger, and perfidious pleasure came out through lips I'd tried to weld shut. As he picks up the pace and spills release, hot tears flow down my cheeks and make my neck feel sticky, too overwhelmed with pain to care about anything else but all of this...

Pain.

But the questions stop and I don't mourn when the numbness takes over, masking my emotions in a protective layer of apathy while metal snaps and gives before threatening footfalls loom closer to us. My captor looks up in horror, only to be slammed against the cinder so harshly that the sound of his skull cracking is deafening and he collapses to the ground.

I felt nothing.

Not when Hotaka fell and his life abandoned his body.

Not when Haru gingerly swept me up in his arms, using his jacket to cover my half-naked body as he ran until his legs were nothing but a blur of black.

I felt nothing.

* * *

 **Tee-hee. Fun Fact: My first experience with solo Go-Kart was when I forgot to wear glasses or contacts. So I was practically driving blind. xD I've also never been to a beach and I live in Florida. So that's pretty cool lol**

 **This chapter was for setting the stage for upcoming chapters. I have many plots and ideas to work with, especially after what happened in this one.**

 **I think I'm finally seeing how I want this story to be. I want it to be about leaving the past behind...healing...self-acceptance and relationships (family, romantic, and friends). I always like to have some kind of theme that makes people think about things. And hopefully, I'm achieving that in all my newer stories.**

* * *

 **Chapter Question: In the year 2016, what is something you would like to see happen? And what is something you'd rather 'leave in 2015?'**

 **Me: I'd like to see the people around me in less pain than they have been. And I'd want to leave behind all the gossip, scandals, and rumors spread about people in the past year. For everyone's mistakes to be forgone and done away with. Because I'm really enjoying this starting over thing.**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: Aw man! I almost called you by your other Pen Name. Its still taking some getting used to lol Ah, I still don't know what to say to that. But thank you! I really hope I start improving now that I'm taking on new writing perspectives and expanding. Yup. Haru and Rin seem to be over each other and have moved on...but have they? Kind of like Drew, ne? :p But not. I actually wouldn't mind seeing Tohru portrayed opposite of her true personality, because her life is far from sunshine and rainbows. I hope her boyfriend's identity wasn't something you expected. :)**

* * *

 **See you all next chapter! Baiii :3**


	14. Chapter 14: Prima Donna

**Chapter Fourteen: Prima Donna**

Everyone knew.

Only hours after it happened, word spread through the agency, and I was hauled off to the infirmary. Which was stupid, because I'm fine.

A rape kit was conducted and I limply, emptily complied. It was all pointless and a waste of time, merely procedural and required for legal reasons. But we knew who did it. And he was dead, so what did it matter? What difference would swabs and stripping down make in the grand scheme of things when he couldn't be prosecuted? None.

Hanajima Saki aided Hatori-san in the test. I vaguely recall seeing her the day of my first mission; she was in the training hall, learning the ins and outs of treating wounds and ministering medicines. Though she is quiet, Hatori - with a tone of professionalism - sings her praises; he tells me that she is the top medical trainee, is his apprentice, and is now overseeing the entire Sohma medical unit. I wasn't sure why he was telling me all this or why I should care, but I figured he was just making small talk to distract from the awkward, dark circumstances.

Saki gently asked me to sit up in her smooth, almost eerie inflection, directing me to turn so that my legs swung over the side and I was facing forward. Out of reflex, I inhale sharply as my fragmented ribs seem to rub against each other and poke my insides, temporarily mobilized with gauze bandages. As for my knee, it was okay - save for the deep laceration that required stitches. I was able to walk around with it, so that was really all that mattered; _he_ wasn't skilled or knowledgeable enough to do nerve damage when he stabbed me. I was expected to make a two week recovery so long as I didn't reopen the stitches.

My ribs were another story; it would require six weeks of healing so I wouldn't be cleared for training or anything until late March. But that wasn't even the brunt of this bad dream I found I couldn't pinch myself out of.

The nurses that checked my vitals plastered on weak, transparent grins out of sympathy for something they knew nothing about - something they couldn't even begin to understand or put into words to relate to me. But they tried and put forth their best effort, contesting to see whom could make poor-old, broken little Mai laugh when she was robbed of her virginity and hope - hope that had a faint and shaky foundation before the mission even began. Before everything tore it down from the ground up.

They gave me a pill - similar to the Morning After Pill - offered me a glass of juice, a pat on the back, and a smile of reassurance as if it helped anything.

One pill. One tiny red and white tablet contained the power to prevent what everyone else feared. It prevented the after effects of conception. Like they had the right to snuff out the life of a baby before they were fully formed. I didn't want the baby to have a corpse for a father, especially a rapist. But it didn't change the conflicting emotions building within me, like an impenetrable tower of stone enforced and cemented with anger and disappointment. Some sort of shallow, empty feeling that only served to hollow me out more than I'd already been. And it was raw and rough to digest as my thoughts flew back and forth between what was the next course of action and the mission failure.

They put me on temporary probation until I was "deemed fit to perform on missions" and it left me to twiddle my thumbs and double up on my internship shifts at the hospital. But there was nothing for me to come to terms with; all my injuries healed and my body was as good as new. I was fine.

And once I got through a month and two weeks of meaningless condolences - like I just lost a part of myself - hugs I didn't ask for or reciprocate, and empty promises of me recovering from something that didn't even bother me, I was finally able to resume missions. But before the next briefing, I was to attend my first training among the assassin elites.

I'd prove em' wrong. They think I can't handle whatever is thrown at me. They doubt my ability to keep on thriving and become the best agent this side of Japan. But they had no idea how capable and strong I was. Not even Haru and his telltale concern, the steel grip of his embraces, and the kisses that were a break of undeserved ecstasy in the midst of a never ending nightmare.

He saw me as weak too. But they're all wrong. They know nothing about me. I refused to be memorialized as the girl that felt too much and buckled beneath the force of her emotions. I would work my way up, completing _every_ last thing I was assigned with my new specialty squad, doing whatever it took to keep myself propped up.

I don't need anyone.

...

The night before, I hadn't been able to sleep. I was awake with anticipation and suspense of what today would bring; today I would be meeting the other two members of my squad and our captain. We would eventually be sent out on missions together and had to learn each other's fighting styles, maintain a camaraderie. It was important that the four of us operated as one - moving, observing, acting, and breathing as one unit. Assassinations required stealth and tact, something I tested and qualified for.

I double-check the slip of paper that had been attached to my test results; it said that I was to report to sector four to commence day one of training. My squad was to be there and I was the only new addition. And when I get there, I have to blink a few times in case the sight before me is a mirage or some other kind of illusion.

Kyo, Hiro, and Shigure were all conversing (being noisy) with each other, and our captain - Rin, was off to the side, rubbing her temples as a vein popped up. I make my way over to join them and catch the tail end of an argument between grouch 1 and grouch 2.

"I'm saying she'll be hot," Hiro demands, glaring daggers at the cat.

"And I'm saying, who the heck cares?" Kyo shouts back, glowering down at his adversary of the day.

"I imagine she'll be quite beautiful. Any high school girl is worth _my_ attention," Shigure added, looking heavenward with optimism and excitement.

I refused to ask them who this 'she' was, because it wasn't what I was here for. That, and the fact that the snake was center stage, going on about varying poisons and ways to inconspicuously use them on our targets. And it was a curiosity I couldn't shake.

"What's with him being our instructor?" I whisper to Shigure, beginning to question the agency's judgement. It was an odd sight to behold where flamboyant Ayame was showing us how to perform fatal silent kills.

"Kureno used to head the assassin elites. Aya' is our temporary replacement," he explained, tittering as he waggled his fingers in Ayame's direction.

"Aw, I thought our new squad member would be sexy. Not _you_ ," Hiro commented, finding no trouble putting his disgust for me on display.

"I'll pretend that's a euphemism for skilled and let that slide," I say, dryly, pivoting towards Rin. "Anyway, what's the plan after training? Do we show up every day? Or..."

"Only Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. We're docked for training from nine at night to three in the morning on Fridays; otherwise its only early morning practice because you and the rest of our squad have school. If you have a mission on one of those days, I must be notified so that I can compensate and let the agency know. We all only go on assassin missions as four, never three or less."

I give nothing more than a nod to show that I understood, before breaking into my leg stretches. After Ayame finished the 'Choose Your Poison' seminar, we would be starting in on MMA instruction. Now that I was in my element, I felt a lot more stable than when I did walking in.

...

One Week Later

Once I've checked that Rin is sound asleep, I creep out of our room and into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. Flipping the light switch on, I squint as the harsh yellow bulb bombards my vision and I blindly make my way to the mirror that doubled as our medicine cabinet.

It opens with a small, but annoying, pop once the seal breaks as it separates. The top shelf was set aside for vitamins - iron, multivitamins, potassium, etc. The second shelf contained cold medicine, and the third shelf was solely mine. It hosted a sleeping elixir I picked up from the drug store I knocked over ages ago. There had been a change in employees and management since then.

I peel back the crinkly safety wrapper and turn the cap with a set of clicks until it gives, and the deep, midnight blue liquid is revealed to my exhausted eyes. But this was it; I'd finally get some sleep for the first time in a week of insomnia and stress. I couldn't place it, but I just couldn't force my body to shut down, no matter how weary it was. So, this was gonna help me with that little problem of mine.

Just from a whiff, I could tell it was sickeningly sweet. That was the thing about me...I never cared much for sweets anymore - not since life became so bitter. I only drank those malts on occasion; whether out of sentimentality or an old craving rising up, I couldn't tell. A huge part of me wondered if I was trying to get reacquainted with who I was before everything went sour six weeks ago...but I don't think about those things anymore.

Briefly scanning the ingredients, my eyes flit upward so that I'm met with the dosage information.

 _1/3 a cup of Sleep Salvation - Ages 12 & Up_

 _Take no more than two doses within a 24 hour period._

 _Do not exceed the recommended dosage._

An abrupt yawn interrupts my task and renders me fatigued; I can't help but slump against the counter after that small act sapped me any tiny traces of energy that remained. It shouldn't surprise me too much what with all the hours I've been putting into assassin elites and school. I actually had a history exam in five hours and hadn't slept a wink after my last session of mass-rehearsal.

With fresh determination, I will myself to rummage through the ivory drawer for our medicine cups and find the one I'm looking for, right next to the tweezers and other misplaced objects. I tip the bottle so that its liquid pours out like oil into the motor of an engine, filling the cup until it rendezvoused with the red 1/2 line. I know it wasn't the _exact_ amount that they tell you to take, but that was addressed toward certain people - normal people. I was an assassin now; a thief of life; a night walker and nurturer of darkness. So if I had to get some help to get shut eye every now and then, who's to say anything about it?

I push past my last moment's hesitation, knocking it back until streams of its remnants and sticky residue are all that's left, before rinsing out the evidence and shoving it back into the drawer. It was a little damp and the drawer was wood, but it shouldn't hurt just this once.

I stow the bottle away, after re-capping it, and turn the lights out, heading back to bed as if nothing happened. And as I slip under my inviting comforter and my head hits my pillow, my eyes are weighed down with the sleep my body was craving and going through withdrawals for.

 _Finally_. I muse, blissfully giving into a complete and total shut down. _I can rest...no, not rest. Never that. I can replenish my stamina and be ready for today's test and tomorrow's mission. Yes. I will sleep so that I may be efficient..._

 _I'm so tired._

...

 **Mai Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma (Agent 014 and Agent 005)**

 **Intelligence Partner: N/A**

 **Mission Details: You are to protect American Actress Summer Reynolds while she is in town for her International Film Debut Movie Premiere. You are to see to it that she leaves her hotel room, attends the premiere, and leaves the after party safely. Ensure that she abstains from consuming alcohol or illegal substances; keep in mind that she is under age.**

 **Target: Summer Reynolds, age 16. The actress is blonde, 1.60 m, with blue eyes, a slender figure, and is often identified by wearing blue or purple.**

Today, we were given an escort mission for a teenage movie star, for the night of her movie premiere and the after party. Basically, her daddy wanted to keep her out of trouble, and her agent wanted to avoid bad press - ergo, maintain a low profile. So we're on babysitting duty. I guess its better than no mission at all. Though, that was debatable.

...

Haru and I make our way down the hallway that never seemed to end, a gap of space and silence between us. There was the swish of our jeans and the jangle of our badges, but otherwise, it was mostly quiet.

I reach for the gemstone that normally dangled from my neck, only to grab for air, and come back empty handed. That's right...I stopped wearing that necklace when I found out what my Mom was really like; the one whom gave it to me. It was only recently that I'd worked up the nerve to contact her, though I had nothing to lose at this point, anyway. Instead of asking for money - like she'd so kindly offered - I bargained that she would send me photographs that she had of our family or anything that I could use to piece together my background.

Ever since I'd asked, I've come to the realization that I'm deeply masochistic. Who else would want to put themselves through more misery by jonesing for a past that no longer mattered and would remain where it was?

Anyways, she agreed so long as I kept my silence; she'd send photographs, some of my father's old things, and e-mail me about what they were like. If I'd been in the right frame of mind, I might have wondered why she was being so forthcoming about her life when she clearly didn't want me in it. But for now, I was okay with just getting some answers.

That choker I always wore was given to her by her closest friend for her Sweet 16. It held no history; it wasn't some family heirloom that was passed down from generation to generation. It was store-bought, from a boutique that was considered high-end in their time, but wasn't that expensive. And now, they are no longer speaking. I didn't want something cheap and fake with me all the time; I didn't want the constant reminder that all things end in tragedy.

Haru knocks on the door to room 407, patiently waiting for our client to give consent for us to enter. That's the way he was...cordial, understanding, and calm. If it were me, I would have barged in, and dragged her butt down to the lobby.

"I just need five more minutes!" Comes the muffled declaration, from the irritated girl it belonged to.

I don't know why _she_ was annoyed; today hasn't been sunshine and roses for me either...especially with everything that's happened, nothing feels right. Not my friendships with Tohru and Rin, my relationship with Haru...not even my career as an agent. Everything seemed lackluster and irrelevant lately; though the excitement of being on an assassination squad quelled the emptiness, it was only in the moments I was training. The insomnia didn't help matters.

"What do you have in mind?" Haru inquires, speaking softly as if he would scare me off had he spoken any louder.

"For?"

"The mission..." he mumbles, folding his arms to appear indifferent, though we were both just pretending the tension between us wasn't there.

"For one thing, we have to refer to her by her code name; we call her Miss Muffet so no one that overhears will know we're talking about her. Its to avoid tipping off the press, paparazzi, and fans that might want to stalk her or get a sleazy photo-op of America's Sweetheart."

He nods, his arms relaxing though his form is stiff as a board. "Ok. What about getting her downstairs?"

I bite back a sigh, weary from his questions and groggy; I suppose that's what I get for od'ing on the sleep elixir...at any rate, _he_ should be the one telling me. He had far more experience as an agent than I did.

"Well obviously, we can't just waltz in with her or we'll get mobbed. We need to come up with a camouflage for her."

His eyebrows furrow at the harshness in my tone, but I manage to refrain from wincing when I hear it. I feel the sting of guilt and shame that hadn't left my side in almost two months, but I try to disregard it to keep my focus on the mission and not my feelings. Maybe it was for the best...I _should_ get him to hate me. To leave me alone so that I can drown in pain. He shouldn't have to put up with me and my problems. He's better off without me.

"Mai?" He queries, startling me out of my thoughts. "I asked if you had a scarf or hat that we can use."

"Oh," I murmur, searching the over-sized purse I had to carry for the client's 'special needs'. "That's one of the reasons I stopped at the wig shop and the drug store on the way. I managed to find a brunette wig, a baseball cap, and some discount sunglasses. Its not the best but it should get us out of the building."

He bobs his head once more, slipping his ear piece in and tuning it to my frequency. We were supposed to keep them in, in case we got separated, but they were so uncomfortable that I wore mine when necessary. It was like wearing earbud headphones, which I very strongly disliked.

After the last two minutes run out, the door swings open, and I'm face-to-face with Summer Reynolds. Going by tabloids, those sparkling sapphire gems she's got _aren't_ contact lenses, but genuinely hers. Her golden hair only reached her shoulder blades because she'd chopped it to be made into a wig for someone with brain cancer; it was almost ironic since she herself would be wearing a wig to remain incognito. Though she was far more stunning and appeared kinder than I was, I had the upper hand where height was concerned; being one inch taller makes a difference...it does...

Her nose crinkles as her eyes trail me from head to toe, reminding me of my mother when she was scrutinizing me. But when her ultramarine eyes land on Haru, they fill with something akin to excitement before she shoves past me and stands before him.

"My, who is this hottie?" She drawls, fluttering her fake eyelashes flirtatiously. "Are you my bodyguard? Because, I wouldn't mind having you watch me...if you catch my drift."

I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her. Who did she think she was?

Haru smiles, good-naturedly, and it sets me on fire for the wrong reason; I was _far_ from hot and bothered...actually, I was just bothered.

I close my eyes for a moment, blocking out her desperate come-on's and remind myself of who I was now.

 _I don't need this. I won't feel anything. I won't. When I let myself feel, I got hurt. I won't feel. I won't feel._

Satisfied with the steadiness of my heartbeat and my temper simmering, I reopen my eyes, and mask all emotions as I had for weeks now. I have a mission to accomplish. I don't have time to be a jealous idiot. None of this matters.

"Put this on," I command, taking control of the situation before she could embrace him and make him transform. "This should ensure that no one recognizes you until we arrive at the premiere."

She begrudgingly accepts her disguise and complies, though she gives me the evil eye when she has to put on the baseball cap. For all I knew, she thought the navy color of the cap clashed with the purple sequined dress she was wearing. Well ya know what blondie? Tough.

 _I'm not bitter. I'm not jealous. I feel nothing._

"Okay. We get to the lobby, get in the limo, and you do _not_ remove your disguise until we start driving towards the premiere. When we address you, we will refer to you as Miss Muffet. You-"

"Miss Muffet?" She demands, grimacing. "I'm sixteen. I'm not a baby. I don't _care_ about nursery rhymes!"

I let her words roll off me like water, not bothering to stoop to her level and let her get the best of me. "You may be our client, but you need to stop being immature and comply. Your dad hired us, so we decide when and where you go throughout the evening, and I expect no complaints."

Haru's disapproval breaks through his own mask, but he quickly smooths out his features, becoming a blank canvas once more before starting down the hallway. "From this point onward, we just ask that you follow our instructions. We want to make sure that you are able to enjoy your evening and stay out of harm's way."

Summer gives a long-suffering sigh, but skips after him and links her arm with his. "Fine..."

I bring up the rear, walking purposely once I've fallen in step with Haru. All that mattered was fulfilling my duty and getting home. I would pay no heed to the guilt and depression creeping up on me as I observed Summer and Haru, or when my mind would recall the way I once was.

I won't do it.

...

The premiere went along swimmingly. Though the shouts of the paps was overwhelming, the camera flashes were blinding, and the squeals of the fans were ear-piercing...she didn't die so phase two of the mission was complete.

We step over the threshold of a smoky haunt, crawling with celebrities that even I'd seen in Japanese dramas and comedies. There was a head of green every now and then, but almost everyone blended in and appeared to just...belong, I guess. Summer looked out of place being the single American in a world of whom she recognized as foreigners.

Her ultramarine eyes glaze over and she bites her lip, nervously scanning the area for a familiar face; presumably a co-star or crew member she would recognize in a sea of strangers. Satisfied, she grins triumphantly, rushing into the bathroom with a bounce in her step. I exchange a glance with Haru and he nods his head in the direction she went, shrugging.

I knew what that meant.

 _Its a girl's bathroom. Its up to you._

I roll my shoulders back, pushing through the crowd, and yanking the door open to the ladies' washroom. Glancing underneath each stall, I find what I count as three pairs of legs under the handicap stall, and I bang on the door. Someone gives a startled yelp before they break into a round of giggles and the door unlatches. I almost bonk noses with the girl whom opened it before she staggers past me, slinging her purse over her shoulder, in a wild motion.

I gasp when I see Summer and a girl I recognize to be the girl that starred opposite of her, huddled together, and doing a line of coke off the dirty tile floor.

When were told not to let her consume any illegal substances, I just thought it was the agency covering all the bases of what her restrictions were (though it was common sense). But it was more serious than I thought.

"Miss Muffet!" I hiss, grabbing her by the arm, and ignoring her protests. "Just _what_ do you think you're doing?"

"Ugh, relax," she chides, waving her hand at me. "You should join us, Miss Uptight."

She wobbles when I force her to her feet - stumbling over her heels - rubbing her slightly red nose, and looking cross. "Honestly? What do you care? I'll cut you a deal; you don't tell my dad, it stays between us, and you still get paid. Fair?"

I shake my head, not budging. "Nope. Its my assignment to keep you safe. _Not_ to let you snort coke in the bathroom of a smoke shack," I correct, gesturing to the veil of smoke that hung above our heads and outside of the bathroom.

"You're such a killjoy. I _just_ wrapped a major blockbuster lack week. This is my way of unwinding and you won't let me? Like you've never done the same."

"No," I answer, as calmly as a ticking time bomb can. "No, I haven't. And you don't need to either. There are other ways to relax. Take a swim. Binge-watch a show on Netflix. Go to a spa. I don't know...there are better ways than drugs," I insist, keeping my volume as low as I dare.

Summer looks taken aback for a second before her eyes become fierce dots of beryl, fixing me with a glare so deadly, Foxy would be jealous. "That's what you think. You're not the one with pressure on you all the time to be picture perfect and innocent. You aren't the one going back and forth between divorced parents and listening to them rag on each other constantly. You aren't the one forced to be an actress because 'your dad has to pay for his gambling debts somehow!'"

For the first time in a long time...I'm stunned.

What she was doing wasn't right; but in some backwards, upside-down way, I understood where she was coming from. She was doing what she could to cope in a stressful situation. We all did. Her way was just more illegal than most. But then, wasn't mine? When I killed and stole and was a drug runner for Ryu. I have no right to reprimand her for doing what she did. Right...?

No. Wait. This was my task. I was supposed to protect her and keep her from doing things like this. It was my job.

I shake off the effect her words have and try a gentler approach than before. I take her to the sink and help her get cleaned up, barely registering that her co-star ducked out when I first walked in, and for awhile aftewards we both just stand there...looking at our reflections.

It bothers me, I realize. The eerie way that she looks so vibrant and alive. Her life wasn't the best. But she didn't look like a walking puppet, allowing her strings to be pulled by someone that should no longer affect her. She smiled pretty for the cameras and fans; she looked vivacious when she was dolled up as she was, brilliant blue eyes and all. If she could keep up the act and hold onto the small light that she still had, then...

Why couldn't I?

Why did I feel so dead inside?

...

They were able to declare the mission to be a job well done, though they hit that bump in the road with Summer in the bathroom, the remainder of the night ended early and quietly. Summer decided to change course and head back to the hotel early. And as a result of their success, her father hired Mai and Haru to be her bodyguards for an upcoming photo shoot in New York for a popular magazine. The Agency agreed because it was good for business. But Haru wasn't sure how he felt about it.

Rosy and peach colored light filters in through the floor to ceiling windows that cover the hallway. Haru's hands are shoved deeply into the front pockets of his black jeans, his form rigid in contrast to his laid-back nature.

He knew Mai was sad. He knew that she was miserable and nothing like the girl he met what seems like years ago. She was a stranger to him - unfamiliar. He hadn't heard her laugh or crack a smile. Those lips that he found himself addicted and obsessed with were fixed into a permanent, straight, unwavering line that never lifted. The blazing amber that intensified with her feisty demeanor and sarcastic remarks was a thing of the past. And even now, when they'd kissed just moments ago...there was no passion or fury; it lacked emotion and heart that he'd experienced first hand throughout their relationship. It almost seemed automatic and obligatory, like they were simply going through the motions and pretending to be a couple.

It left Haru feeling confused, helpless, and discouraged as to what he could do. So far, things were going from bad to worse. He noted that she never wore that choker of hers anymore. She'd stopped doing so the day of that mission that wrecked everything, but she made it a point to never replace it from that day forward. He was aware of her familial attachment to it. But now, he was unsure what to think; it was as if something happened between her and her parents who - as far as he knew - she had never met. The only consolation and piece of mind that he clung to with all of his ox-like strength was the fact that she still wore his ring. Maybe she forgot to stop wearing it; he hoped that wasn't the case. He hoped that the old Mai - his Mai, was fighting to resurface. The Mai that lived off of Vanilla Malts, considered New Leaf to be her home, and was both frustratingly and admirably stubborn. He didn't know if he'd ever have her back...

Suddenly, still up to his waist in depressing contemplation, someone latches onto his wrist and yanks him into the nearby utility closet, locking the door behind them. Lips meet his in a frenzy; whomever it was, was in a hurry or desperate. But whomever was kissing him, wasn't his girlfriend. The slender, scantily clad form that coiled around his was a dead giveaway. Raven tresses swept over his exposed arms and tickled the skin, forcing goosebumps to show themselves. She tears her mouth away from his, long enough to hop and wrap her legs around his torso, binding him in place as she trails kisses along the flesh of his neck and jaw. A mop bucket topples over and crashes to the floor, drowned out by heavy breathing and the squeak of his boots, the clacking of her heels.

It was all happening in a blur; even when the taste of Mai was still on his lips.

He forcibly grips her arms, ignoring the silky feel of them, and removes them from around his neck. She emits a mixture of a scoff and a huff, before she retreats just enough to look him in the eyes. Dark grey eyes widen in realization and confoundment, uncomprehending of whether he was really seeing her or hallucinating. Her chocolate brown eyes are clouded with sensualism and frustration at not having her way with him.

The world around them seems to warp in response to their heated stare down, amplified by the fact neither of them broke their connection to one another, and were still in the same position as when her tongue collided with his in a war of eucalyptus and vanilla.

Rin shouldn't be here, pressing herself against him, and attached as if they were still caught up in their friends with benefits agreement from before; that ended before he'd met Mai, after the mission went horribly wrong. There was nothing they could say or do - no sexual high, midnight entwinement, or exchange of dirty words that could erase that moment.

Haru forces her to stand on her own two feet, though her hands are still clasped behind his neck, just below the obsidian roots of his hair.

"What are you doing? I'm with Mai and you're with-"

"-Not anymore," she cuts him off, her partially swollen lips lingering dangerously close to his. "He can't please me or love me like you can."

"...I don't love you anymore. Not in that way."

She snorts, doubtful chocolate oozing with bitterness but never breaking their gaze. "Don't or won't?"

He doesn't even take the moment to consider her words. Instead of chewing and digesting them, he spits out his unmerciful frustration, finding relief in having an outlet.

"I love her," he starts, his voice growing more deadly with each syllable. " **And I want no one else but Mai. I don't want you."**

"Oh, but you do," Rin argues, demanding that he give in by a hand wandering down past his abdomen, to a place only she'd been permitted to touch. "Black Haru..." her voice slips into a seductive purr, smirking when he shifts as if leaning into her touch. "You've always wanted to have me like this. That's all our relationship has ever amounted to."

Haru's dark eyes fall shut as he feels tugged by the sway of temptation that stood before him. Back and forth his mind went.

 **Mai doesn't want us.**

 _Mai is hurt._

 **She doesn't need us.**

 _She needs us now, more than ever._

 **It would be so easy to just take her right here. No one would know.**

 _You'll hate yourself for it. Mai doesn't deserve someone like that._

He needed to be patient with her. He wouldn't let another girl he loved slip through his fingers; he'd feared the devouring quicksand that sucked him in once before. But he refused to let himself miss out on love, despite how badly it made him feel, because it also made him feel immortal and untouchable. He vowed to himself that he would love again. He wasn't about to ruin that now.

Strengthening and sharpening his resolve, he distances himself completely, and unlocks the door. But before he can make his exit, Rin traps him, resting fully against his back, her hand finding the button on the front of his jeans. Haru growls, but she ignores it, fiddling with the coin holding his pants together.

Her lips trace the shell of his ear, wetting it with her tongue, accompanied by her whispered proposition. "One more time, right Haru? If I let you have me again, you won't feel sad because of _her_. You can-"

" **I don't understand you** ," He interrupts, acting as civil as his dark counterpart will allow. " **How can _you_ do this to her, Rin? I thought you cared about her.**"

The horse says nothing to this. As a few moments pass, Haru's impatience waxes, and his grip on the door knob causes the metal to bend as if it were malleable material.

Just as he's about to rip the door off the hinges, she steps back, her hand dropping to her side and allowing him his space. He does just that, escaping the closet, and storming down the hallway towards his dorm room. And not once does he look back...not once.

* * *

 **Mai, my darling character is in denial mode. And even worse than that. She's not only reverted back to who she was with Ryu, but is progressively worsening. Shortest and simplest explanation: when someone is psychologically damaged (in some cases, like hers) they resort to the familiar and oftentimes secure life they once had. For her, that means becoming the killing machine that she was so she won't have the time, energy, or feel the need to deal with the pain that comes from sexual abuse and rape.**

 **I hope you guys don't find her annoying, currently. She'll snap out of it eventually. Just not very quickly. I know she doesn't seem to be reacting too badly to what happened (right now). But she will...trust me.**

 **I almost forgot. The next chapter will be out after I've hit an age milestone, next Saturday. :O Time goes by really fast.**

* * *

 **~ Chapter Question(s) ~**

 **What character would you become for just one day? And what character would you _not_ become for a lifetime?**

 **(I hope this question makes sense).**

 **My Answers:**

 **a) Sakura Haruno. I'd become her so I could show everyone that bashes her or thinks of her as weak that she can kick some serious butt! I think that'd be pretty awesome. Either her or Rin Sohma so I can have Haru all to myself ;)**

 **b) Kyo Sohma. I'm gonna be open about it, (which is new for me, I know) but I know the feeling of rejection well. I wouldn't want to relive that more than I already have. Its painful. It hurts. And it can really ruin a person's self-esteem and can lead to self-loathing. Also, I wouldn't want to live a life where I'd have to be dreading the day I'd be locked up. If I'm gonna be locked up, it has to be for something that's worth it - like kidnapping a member of a KPOP group or something haha. Not to mention, his mom committed suicide, his dad hates him, and he's looked upon as a monster.**

 **...well, that got serious quickly lol**

 **I need a cheery question to lift your spirits for Chapter Fifteen.**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: I thought you knew me by now. XD How could you? :o lol Instead of crashing into my little sister, she drove because I was one step from blind. You're husband is awesome though haha Thank you! I know this chapter was short, but I've only just begun on this new phase of the story. I guess you can consider this the introductory chapter.**

* * *

 **Kuramasgirl19769: I honestly didn't know more than one person still read this lol**

* * *

 **The High Queen: That's right. I'm responding to both. Deal with that. xD I love incorporating those elements in my stories because I hope for it to reach someone. I prefer to do so subtly and in small doses, but it is a central part of who I am and what I create. Thank you for your kind words! ^_^ I'm really glad to hear that. :D**

* * *

 **I'm looking forward to this next phase of the story (act, phase...whatevah xD). This will be the half of the story where Mai has to get her crap together, Haru deals with his own past, and they juggle being agents and in a relationship. I'm very excited to reveal Haru and Rin's terrible mission next chapter, and what went down on it. Plus, Foxy and Yuki should be making appearances! ^_^**

 **See you all next chapter! Baiiiii :3**


	15. Chapter 15: Carousel

**Chapter Fifteen: Carousel**

Tattoo parlors have a distinctive smell to them that can only be identified with ink and piercings; the heavy scent of nail polish, cigarettes, and chemicals seemed to dominate the area as I followed my squad into the establishment. I'm not sure who's idea it was, but someone decided that we should have a piercing that identifies and sets us apart from the rest. I suppose it was someone's concept of bringing us closer together, like a sadistic bonding experience.

I'm no psychologist, but Rin has been exhibiting some crazy behavior around me; she gives me one-word answers (any chance she gets), she only initiates conversation and speaks directly to the rest of the squad. But the weirdest thing of all - she let _me_ choose the paint for the room; its _wave of grain_ , thank you very much. Its not that I was ungrateful (cyborgs can't feel) or anything, but it was highly suspicious that she decided to change her mind and allow me to oversee the dorm revamp and pick the paint color.

Before I get a moment to probe her for answers, we're ushered to to the back by one of their rookie tattoo artists and take our seats in obsidian, leather folding chairs. Just like Tohru, it was blatantly obvious that she was new; there was a trembling to her knees as she walked; her gait itself was robotic as if she were conscious of her strides while she babbled about whom would be assisting us. As soon as her back is turned, Kyo and Hiro throw in their snide comments, and Shigure's gaze locks onto her butt as she marches back to the front desk.

I pull my legs beneath me and sit cross-legged in the chair, taking in the walls of tattoo design portfolios, and the crimson lounge furniture that appeared clawed through and shredded. I was sandwiched between Shigure and Kyo, so I couldn't exactly ask Rin about why she was acting so strangely, but maybe it should be this way; I shouldn't care if she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I shouldn't care about anything at all. And that's how I'll stay.

"Um...what is getting pierced?" Shigure inquires, his smile crooked and his voice growing high pitched with his apprehension. "Its not that I'm scared or anything. I just don't care too much for needles, that's all."

Kyo groans, sliding down so that his head rests against the chair, and his legs are sprawled out in front of him. I was actually more surprised that he agreed to come along than the fact Shigure was so freaked out about getting jabbed with a tiny, silver rod. "Nothing, that's what. I'm not getting an earring like some kind of pansy."

My eyebrow lifts at his statement, rising to greet my hairline. If he wasn't here for that, then why did he show up? Hiro seems to share in my sentiments because he shoots the cat a dirty look, before he jumps to his feet. "Then what are you doing here, stupid? You can't take a little pain? Is that it?"

Orangey snarls, his blazing eyes igniting as he stares the ram down. "No, ya little brat. I-"

"The name-calling is old and immature, Kyo. Hiro, I expect it from him, but you should know better. You know Kisa and I don't like that attitude of yours."

I thought Rin just bought herself a ticket to a shouting match, but something odd happens; Hiro's anger dims and his form relaxes, as if her tone and her words snuffed out his flame (forest fire is the more accurate description). Hiro plops back down next to Rin and opts to keep silent until Shigure is summoned to get his labret first. I feel surprise rise, but clamp down on the emotion before it can take its hold. I'm sure there was some logical explanation behind their actions. But it was unimportant enough to sort out later. Anyway, when the dog gets to his feet, he doesn't go quietly; the sound of his whimpering and feet dragging are louder than one would think.

From our vantage point, we were able to witness the entire process, though I'm sure we weren't the only ones to hear it because of how nosy Shigure's blubbering was. The disk back labret post doesn't accentuate his features like it did for Rin or Kyo; instead, it fit just as much as Hiro's did on his boyish face.

As the needle perforated the skin directly below my lip, my body didn't even flinch. I'd already begun taking Ryu's advice again, and have been training by body to increase my pain threshold. It took pain to deal with pain, but I knew it would come in handy down the road for missions with my new specialized team. And that was the most important thing at the end of the day - to be efficient and apt.

I had to make myself useful somehow.

...

When I get back, I go through the usual routine of sorting through the mail shoved beneath our welcome mat. As is the standard, almost all of it is addressed to Rin, save for junk mail and one package in my mom's name. Being the oh-so patient person that I am, I dig out my nail clippers, and use the nail cleaning blade to tear into the brown paper so all that's left is the cardboard.

I swallow thickly, trepidation pulling at the corners of my subconscious. Irritated with the useless emotion, I force the flaps open, and root through the parcel to find-

A pair of my father's reading glasses and cologne. The glasses themselves seem are suspended from a royal blue chain, rectangular frames, and covered in a pattern of army green and camouflage. The clear bottle of cadmium liquid reeks of stale lemons and musk due to how old the cologne seems to be, and is only half empty. As I retreat from inhaling the putrid redolence, a question I'd never considered dawns on me.

 _Where are my other relatives? My grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles._

I didn't know, nor has _she_ ever brought them up in our e-mails. But I suppose I'll have to be the one to ask; talking to that woman was like pulling teeth. And I was _definitely_ not about to be someone's dentist.

...

The First Date

Ok, so it's a little bit embarrassing. But...I maybe sorta had a mini-freak out over my appearance before Haru showed up to take me on our first date. It isn't lost on me how ridiculous it is that I'm concerned about what to wear or how to do my hair; no makeup or to beat my face. Especially considering he's seen me when I first woke up and my breath was stronger than any weapon. But I was nervous. He said that the date would be something exciting and unique, but he made me promise that I wouldn't beat the crap out of him when I saw the location.

Now, if I were a normal person, that might have set off a few red flags and I would be on the first boat out of here. But I'm not and self-preservation is not in my vocabulary; therefore, I found myself, standing at Haru's side, a few feet from a set of train tracks, and fighting a tempting urge to strangle my boyfriend. Why did I feel the need to take him out? Because of the fact that I was about as scared of trains as I was of being nude, despite our assignment all those months ago. There's a difference between being too occupied with a mission to let fear rule me and being so close to the train's exterior with its loud horn and whistle, watching as the overgrown death wagon barreled down steel tracks. If you heard reports of several trains being derailed in America, wouldn't you be a little bit wary of them too? Even if they are more advanced, they are made by flawed humans. Anything could happen. And that was terrifying.

"So, what do you think?" He asks, leaning back slightly as if anticipating me to swing on him.

He's right to be afraid of me.

I narrow my eyes and remember that I'm wearing mascara and eyeliner as an afterthought when I spin towards him. "Why would you take me here? You know how much I hate trains, Haru. I would literally run out of the living room of my foster home whenever one was coming by, and stick my head under the pillows. Why on earth would you think this was a good idea?"

Maybe I was coming off harshly, but this seemed like a cruel joke. I'd told him about all of this in our game of 20 Questions. It was the last question I'd answered about one of my childhood fears before we headed back because of the curfew. So I really didn't understand what was going through his head.

Suddenly, his hands drop to my shoulders, and he takes a step forward so that we're toe to toe and nose to nose. My bottom lip is taken between his own in a soft caress, his grip on my shoulders increasing by a fraction. And it wasn't fair because I'm mad at him. Its not fair that his kisses can make me so easy to forgive and susceptible to doing whatever he wanted me to do.

"Its because you're important to me," he murmurs, his words tickling my lower lip before he gifts me with another chaste kiss. "I want to be here with you when you face one of your biggest fears. I want to be your support when you're too scared to face something, alone. Because you are the most important person that I have in my life, and I want to protect you."

I laugh softly, feeling the tips of my ears burning crimson. "You always know what to say to make me forgive you and like you even more. I'm almost convinced that this is a good idea."

I swallow his chuckle when I meld my lips with his, removing his hands from my shoulders and placing them on my waist. Throwing my arms around his neck, I giggle when his arms circle my frame, and he lifts me off the ground as his tongue slips into my mouth.

Things were...quite steamy for a first date. But then, we're not like other couples whom get together and kiss and go steady after their first outing. We were already close before all of this began. But it was even better now that we're officially committed to one another. At least, I hoped we were.

The soundtrack to my nightmares rings out across the otherwise vacant grassy area we stood on, forcing me to break off our kiss and crane my neck to confirm my fears. Much to my chagrin, I wasn't hallucinating. I wasn't imagining things. And I was most certainly not dreaming (I would know, I tried to pinch myself already). Because the death express was very real and so close that the sound of it seemed to shatter my ear drums and send vibrations to my very core.

I barely register the fact that I jumped behind Haru and my arms snaked around his abdomen, because I was concentrating on blocking out the noise and the tremors that rippled up my arms and legs as the high-speed train drew closer. I was halfway to closing my eyes and pretending I was elsewhere when Haru gingerly slipped out of my hold and took his place right behind me, mimicking my actions and his arms encircling my front.

"See, Mai. Its not that bad. Think of it like its a long, loud car. Or a plane. Those things aren't anything to be frightened about, right?"

I shake my head, disagreeing with every fiber of my being, as he chuckles again and rests his chin atop my head. He takes one of my hands in his and brings it up so that he gestures to the train just passing in front of us, telling me of the different parts of its body.

"That is the locomotive where the electric motor and breaking system are. And that is the driver's cab, the catenary - it supplies electricity - and of course, the motor unit." He yells his explanation because of the volume of the horn, but I zero in on his voice, and his proximity, willing myself to not cower at the roar of the engine and its intimidating size.

Before I know it, the train is gone, and all that's left is just Haru, the rose-gold sunset, and I. The tightness in my chest loosens and eventually relaxes, leaving me to slump against him, and I grow transfixed with the marriage of pinks and yellows as I reflect on what just happened. And it takes every ounce of effort in me to not squeal and jump Haru for being there for me and helping me through it.

Instead, I settle for squeezing his hand, and pivoting so that I face him, feeling a heady sensation warm my body as he stares at me and I stare back. I smile when I notice his mask has fallen away and all that's left is breathless, insurmountable amounts of affection in his eyes, and a small smirk that makes me feel lightheaded. I run my tongue along my lower lip like the night of our first kiss, and I grin when his eyes follow.

"So, Moo Man. Did you happen to bring something for us to eat? Because as much as I enjoy sucking face, I know you _must_ be as hungry as I am."

He rewards me with a genuine smile, before dropping to his haunches, and rummaging through the plastic grocery bag he'd carried on our walk over here ten minutes ago. I rest my hands on my knees and lean forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of his next surprise; but he doesn't let me see, deciding to turn his back until he fishes out what he was searching for, and flashing it in my direction.

Its a Ziploc bag, with crumbled graham crackers and mushy marshmallows at the bottom, topped off with what looks to be chocolate smeared along the sides of the plastic interior.

I glance from the bag to him and back again, wondering whom ran over our dessert. "Babe, what happened? It looks like you danced flamenco on it. I didn't even know you were capable of such a thing."

He blinks at my statement before his gaze slides to the treat in question, shrugging his shoulders. "I guess it wasn't a good idea to carry it this way. Maybe I should have just used a paper plate and aluminum foil."

Somehow, I can tell he feels slightly dejected about his minor mistake, and I can't help but pity him. So instead of suggesting that we just stop by some crowded restaurant, I take the bag from him, and pop it open. Just because the presentation was a little off, didn't mean that it couldn't be appetizing.

With that settled, I reach inside, and scoop up a broken graham cracker and bit of Hershey chocolate. And when I pop it into my mouth, I feel like I somehow died in a matter of seconds, and expected to see streets of gold as I basked in how beautiful it tasted.

I smile as the dark cocoa melts on my tongue and I offer one to him, beckoning him to try his own amazing rendition of smores. When he does, his features light up, and he crams the rest of it into his mouth, sweeping his hands together to be rid of crumbs after handing it back to me.

When we arrive back at his dorm, we're both bone tired from trekking here, and stuffing our faces as the sun set. Haru let me borrow his shower and change into one of his t-shirts and shorts before he changed places with me. I didn't tell him that when he was getting cleaned up, I rushed back to my own room, and changed into a fresh pair of undergarments before returning. I was _not_ passing up an opportunity to wear something of his. Sorry honey, but I ain't the one.

I climbed onto his full-sized bed, curling up beneath the covers, and flopping onto his grey pillows. My eyes were growing heavier after having spent fifteen minutes under warm water and still recovering from today's events, when I glanced at his alarm clock and realized how late it had gotten.

 _1:35 am_.

Oops. Out past curfew...but should it really matter? We were already in breach of the partner-fraternizing clause as it was.

Either way, I refused to let myself fall asleep until Haru was lying down beside me. It felt like an act of betrayal, somehow, because it said I wasn't willing to wait up for him, despite what he'd just done for me by helping me face my phobia of trains.

So when he collapses into bed beside me, his arms wrapping around me, and I'm surrounded by his heat, it is only then that I allow myself to close my eyes and permit my breathing to lull to a soft, even rhythm. The last thoughts on my mind were how I always hoped it would be like this...

And just how much I loved him.

 _I love you Haru. And one day, I'll tell you._

...

Forcing myself to smile was a painful, tiresome process when I knew no happiness in that moment; eventually smiles became grimaces until a while later, there was nothing left but a flat line. There were no twitches or blips, just a dead straight line that never moved, or displayed any signs of life. So to say that I was okay with being around Foxy was an understatement. She was the only person I never felt obliged or inclined to smile around. I didn't do so anymore - around anyone - but it was far easier with her. I experienced something akin to...rest? Peace? Those words only left a bad taste in my mouth when I uttered them; but I couldn't quite put a name on what I experienced.

The hustle and bustle of the shortly staffed New Leaf, drags me out of the abyss of thoughts I'd fallen into, and Foxy trots over with a pencil and notepad in hand. Though she appeared armed and ready to serve, she tosses everything into the booth, before taking a seat across from me, and putting her feet in my lap. My gaze drops to the french nails, enclosed in open-toe sandals resting there, before meeting her shining green eyes. She tilts her head to the side, and I notice the way her waves of vermillion are in a loose ponytail, secured with a black bow, and brushing against the collar of her uniform.

I fold my arms across my chest. "Can I help you?"

She gives a dignified snort, picking at the silver band coiling along her wrist and forearm. "I should be asking you that, shouldn't I?" It comes out so plainly and deadpan that it reminds me of Haru. But I push this thought aside and force my attention back to the present.

"I don't know. Should you?"

A sigh passes her scarlet lips as she rolls her eyes, as if there was something I wasn't computing in between our familiar banter. "You dummy. I heard about what happened."

My mind starts working at a million miles a second, searching and considering all the news she could have been on the receiving end of; there was my famous and rich mom, my dying relationship with Haru, and...the mission. Playing process of elimination, I could cut out the last option. Those missions were classified, as was my career. There was no one who could have told her; not unless they had a death wish, anyway.

Perplexity must have shown on my face, because Foxy tapped her fingernails on the - shockingly - spotless table, her eyes narrowed in thought. "Huh. I suppose you've forgotten how quickly I hear things. Oh well. My point is, that I know you met your bio mom. I am pretty mad that I'm just now discovering that you're adopted, though."

I can't help but look at her strangely. "Its a given that you wouldn't know old information like that. We're not exactly close friends, are we?"

She gives a non-committal shrug of her shoulders before grabbing for my malt and stealing several gulps before passing it my way. Even though it doesn't show, I'm pretty disgusted that she actually drank after me. I was as good as finished with it now; she could have it back.

"Yeah, yeah. But its only fair that you share with me how lousy its making you feel; or how great, depending on whether my sources are wrong and she's not as nasty as we think. After all, I had a heart-to-heart with you about my own screwed up situation."

I scoff at this, sinking down further into the booth, tapping my foot so that it wakes up my tingling limbs. "You didn't have to volunteer such personal information. You did so of your own volition; I didn't hold a gun to your head, demanding answers." If I had, she wouldn't still be with us, glaring at me like she was keeping herself from lunging and choking the daylights out of me.

Instead, she settles for applying pressure to my abdomen with her foot, until I begrudgingly tell her to stop or I wouldn't tell her anything; if you want to get Foxy to leave you alone, you have to use the right bait.

"Before I begin, what exactly do you know about her?" If she knew her by name and everything, my mom would assume I leaked it, and stop sending me my dad's mementos. And that alone makes my blackened heart feel like its being tugged, resuscitated.

Foxy growls out of impatience but responds anyway. "Just that you found her; that's my point, I don't know anything else. Why do you think I'm asking?"

A rush of relief courses through me and fills the empty space of my chest, despite the fact it was encased in harbored anger and depression. I take my engraved wrist in my hand and permeate the flesh with what's left of my trimmed nails. _Punishment, for doing more than thinking; consequence for feeling. You're not allowed. So stop it._

"I don't know what to tell you. She wants nothing to do with me; she's selfish, heartless, and cruel." _And I'm just like her_. "My dad died long ago so I never met him. But from what I know, he was decent. As for how I feel..." _Like something's claws delved into my soul and tore it out of my body._ "I feel nothing. I don't feel bad. I don't feel great. I don't feel anything towards either of them." _I'm lying. I thought I stopped._

Foxy, someone whom knew diddly squat about me, appeared unconvinced; she doesn't believe a word I'm saying. I don't believe it either.

 _Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Pretend you don't feel it; the ache. Concentrate on blankness. Emptiness. A void._

"Hmph. You feel _nothing_ at all?" She challenges, her voice sodden with dubiety.

"Correct."

"Really? Because it hurts to be treated like crap by your own parents; your mom. It sucks."

"For you, maybe."

Her malachite eyes become slits as her frustration mounts and her lips contort into a snarl. "Why are you denying how it feels, Mai? Admit how badly it stings. You may be a lot of things, but a coward isn't one of them."

"Shut up," I mutter, unable to speak above a whisper.

"You know its true; your little hopes and dreams; your observations of normal, happy, safe families with the freedom to smile and laugh and look ahead. It _hurts_."

"Shut up, Foxy," I grit out through clenched teeth, painfully aware of the weak spot in the dam that restrained my emotions. "You know nothing."

"You want to run and scream and cry but you can't; you think it does nothing and you've told yourself that no one cares about how heavy your heart feels...or how devoid."

I clamp my hands over my ears and shoot to my feet; her's fall to the floor with my movement right before I dash out of the pub I once found solace and comfort in. Because it was no longer that sacred place I could go to and pretend that it was my safe haven as I ran from myself and everything in between. Now there was nothing left for me but myself and the tendrils of feeling that snaked around my subconscious whenever I permitted myself to think too much. There was only this gaping chasm of fear, pain, loss, confusion, grief, and so much anger I couldn't control. But I don't acknowledge it. It's just an annoying background noise. Nothing time, distraction, and pain couldn't fix.

...

Yuki called me over.

Haru wasn't there, that much I knew. He was completing bomb squad training, deactivating land mines, and long ways away from here. So I was already on high alert when he'd called me to 'help him with something.'

That's why I was now, tense as can be, ready to bolt at any second from my seat in the splintered chair in front of Yuki's computer desk. I watched as he paced the room, a frazzled, stark contrast to the composed and collected demeanor I was used to seeing.

"I don't know what to do. I've been losing sleep over all of these interrogations. But its not like you said, where it gets easier," Yuki mutters, his eyes of amethyst growing wide in his distraught condition. "I _can't_ go back there."

I roll my eyes before rising to my feet, taking several strides until I can grab him by the shoulders, and still his frantic movements. "Yes, you can. They wouldn't have placed you in interrogation if you weren't qualified for it. You know that they screen you on intelligence, judgment, and emotions, right?"

He nods once.

"Then there must be some part of you, dying to get out, that is capable of bringing the toughest and burliest to their knees with methods of torture and inquiry."

I scan the room for things I can use to get my point across; anything at all that will be harmless but enough to be considered dangerous when I decide to get creative.

"Okay, we're going to do a mock interrogation. You need to toughen up to be cut out for interrogation. You-" I drag his wooden desk chair forward, ensuring it was the most uncomfortable seat in the room, "-need to harden your heart to be efficient. When its all over, you won't have one left anyway. You might as well learn to stop feeling early on."

He just gapes at me, undoubtedly thinking I'm crazy, but deciding to sit in the chair anyway. I had to give him his props; he could be unpredictable when he wanted to be.

I make note of his leg bouncing up and down and realize that this will already be a short and sweet question and answer. Well, maybe not sweet. But it wouldn't take long. I circle him, considering my options further, since I obviously couldn't break any bones or do any physical damage. Hurting people outside of the real thing was frowned upon. Though none of it was really socially acceptable.

So I decide to go for what almost always worked with people like him: playing with his mind until he forfeited the answers I needed.

"Yuki, I'm going to ask you questions and you will - under no circumstances - answer them. If you do, you've failed, and we'll have to keep trying this until we get it right. No matter what, don't crack. Don't give in. Do _not_ cave. Are we clear?"

He bobs his head, more uncertainly this time. But he gave his acquiescence.

I latch onto the back of his chair, making my voice steady and toneless as I begin.

"Yuki Sohma. I've heard _many_ things about you. Interesting things." So far, he looks to be indifferent. But I haven't even started yet. "Like, your interesting relationship with your father. It's pretty cold and ruthless of him to ruin you like that, _especially_ when you were only just a boy. You have my sympathies."

I pick up on the infinitesimal shivers that course through him, which he wastes no time attempting to cover up as I resume my circling. I know that I'm supposed to toy with him, but...should I be?

 _Don't start having doubts now, Mai. You're helping him. No heart, no pain, remember?_

"To think of all those nights that he would drink, then leave you behind at some dingy gas station in the middle of nowhere. Did that feel good? Being forsaken. To spend chilly nights, fearing for your life and wondering if your dad would ever come back for you?"

I force my features to show concern and compassion, taking his hand and running a thumb along the inside of his wrist. It has the desired effect where he flinches, but he doesn't pull back from me. "Do you remember one of the employees? Jai, was his name, I think. Do you remember how he would do this to you and get you to trust him? The way he'd lure you into a false sense of security until you told him _everything_."

His wrist flexes, the skin growing taught with tension, but he keeps his lips sealed. We had a long way to go if he was reacting like this when I was going easy on him.

"How about those moments in the stalls? The girls that he gave to you to make happy. But you, yourself were never happy. Children are supposed to carefree; playing with their toys; learning to share. But you never had a true childhood. All you knew, was what if felt for a woman to touch you. All you knew was just how cruel this world can be - how cruel your father could be."

Its then that he rips his wrist out of my grip and he folds his hands in his lap, setting his lips into a straight line, though the way his eyebrows are drawn together tell me that I struck a nerve.

"Touchy, are we? I guess I would be too if I were forced to do what you have. And your _mother_. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I don't think I've ever known a woman that's worse than her. She's a real piece of work, I gotta hand it to her. Like when she also left you behind to shack up with her doctor. And that police officer that lives next door. And I think one of your teachers if my information is accurate."

"Please, Mai. I've had enough for today," Yuki says, his tone clipped and carefully controlled. Had I just walked onto this scene and heard him speak, I would have thought nothing to be out of sorts. And to the untrained eye, nothing was amiss.

But there were the little things; the sweat beading on his upper lip, the pale sheen that covered his forehead, and the imperceptible way he quivered as if the room dropped ten degrees.

"That's all for today, then."

...

After Yuki left the room, the numbness had set in somewhere at some point. I was just staring at the blank space between their calendar and Haru's posters for heavy metal groups when the door to the room opened. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, doing nothing but breathing and not blinking. But there was one thing I knew for sure; Haru didn't get back to the dorm - on days we didn't have missions - until nine at night. I'd arrived around 5:45 this evening.

He lets his jacket drop to the floor after pulling at the sleeves, and crosses the room before I even have the chance to say anything. I feel the bed sink as he takes a seat beside me and his arm brushes against mine, eliciting involuntary goose bumps.

If I were being honest, I would say that I noticed the way Haru looked remorseful and guilty around me. I would also mention that his behavior changed around the same time Rin's did just the day before. But I'm not, so I won't even subscribe the theories floating around my head.

 _He did something...it had to have involved Rin. They both wear that same look._

But I won't think about it. I won't.

Haru runs a hand down his face, embodying exasperation as his form slumps, and he clasps his hands in front of him.

 _When did I stop caring to ask him questions? How have I not noticed how worn out he is?_

"There's something that's been eating away at me for a long time. And, I had a nightmare last night about it." I'm mildly surprised by this and something else that I choose to not examine as he carries on. "Do you mind if I talk to you? I'm getting tired of bearing this on my own. I just...I need you to help make it easier on me."

 ** _After yesterday, I gave myself a mission. To cheer him up and keep that frown off his face as much as possible. It was the least I could do as his teammate._**

 ** _I'd promised myself to make him smile as much as possible. And like Haru says, if I say I'll do it, I have to do it_** **.**

I give him a nod of consent and I watch as pain paints a frightening picture on what was - only seconds ago - blank canvas.

"When you kill anyone, especially children...something inside you snaps. My bullets weren't even meant for them. Both were brainwashed and forced into a life of drug pedaling - orphans, both of them. And at the very last second, that... _worthless man_ , put himself behind them, and they took the hit."

At first, I had no idea what he was talking about. I just remained still, putting forth effort trying to understand his cryptic tale, and wondering if it could have been something spun from exhaustion.

But then it clicks.

 ** _We were together and I loved her...but things went wrong with us and eventually, she asked that we be reassigned._**

That mission; the one that he'd never talked about with me. The same one with Rin that was taboo and never to be brought up. He disclosed what happened to _me_.

I clench my hand and open it, longing to act on impulse and comfort him in whatever way I could. I wanted to respond to him and tell him that everything would be fine. I wanted to put this mask of mine, back on its shelf, and lose myself to him and feelings. If it meant he'd laugh or smile, I would do it. I would do it. I _would_.

 _I won't_.

I can't afford to be that vulnerable. Not anymore. I can't be weak. But the trembling in his arms don't escape my notice.

 _He'll be fine_.

But what if he falls apart? What if he breaks?

 _Then he'll be like you_.

I don't want that...do I?

Because we hadn't bothered with the light switch and were literally immersed in the pitch black of the room, everything between us was centered on feelings. And because of that, it felt like I was dying; dealing with a face full of stony silence was suffocating and I was finding it harder to breathe right. Everything was just so wrong and weird. Nothing was making sense anymore.

His hand finds my cheek in the shadows, tilting my head so that my face feels close to his, and his slow breaths meet my lips in a tide of heat. It would be simple to just let him kiss me and push back my thoughts of reality and gravity and everything else that holds you down in this world. But I couldn't; I couldn't make myself move; I couldn't even bring myself to inhale or exhale. You could have asked me to solve the world's most complex equation and it would have been no more of a challenge than it was to keep myself alive, right now.

 _He's in pain. But you can't let it trouble you. Not if you want to be efficient and strong. You don't want to give into that ache that tells you to spill everything and let him be your support. You can't be weak. You can't._

Haru's forehead connects with mine and my eyes slip shut as his nose brushes against my nose. Though we've been kissing and I've let him hug me, it was as if I were in a state between being awake and asleep. I didn't remember how soft his nose was or the fact I could see a tiny beauty mark on its tip whenever we were close like this. There were so many details on his face that I'd committed to memory, but there were those that were lost in the aftermath of that mission; it didn't matter that I had a photographic memory when there were photos I've been wanting to burn and discard.

Eventually, my eyes adjust to the dark, and I can make out parts of his face.

When he sighs it tickles my lips and my I find my hand inching towards his, weaving them together by interlacing our fingers. His ring on my hand pressed against the skin I knew to be paler than the rest because of how long it had been there, before he gave it to me. I inhale the scent of smoke on his breath as I feel myself being tugged by the heat and closeness of his body, curiosity of an unfamiliar smell fleeting in and out of my mind. Thoughts I'd trained and punished myself into having begin to give way to fear and anxiety I never knew around him. All I could think about was the fact he was a guy. Guys can be selfish when it comes to fulfilling _their_ needs. But what about mine? What about mine? None of that mattered on that mission. Only the guy's wants and desires seemed to count. What about mine? What about mine?

I drift backwards and away from Haru, suddenly scared of latching onto someone whom was once my buoy and anchor and lighthouse when I was _so close_ to drowning. When his cimmerian eyes find me in the dark, his gaze intensifies as if he were focusing all of his effort and energy on reaming the walls of glass I surrounded myself with; though I so badly wanted to believe they were made of stone or steel, I knew better...my defenses were weak.

The way he looked at me, coupled with the feel of my hand on his hand was overwhelming; unbidden tears welled in my eyes, but I force them back, and swallow the sorrow I was no stranger to. Those emotions that I tried to make foreign, came at me like an enemy, hitting me on all sides. But I remove my hand from his and I leave the heavy atmosphere of his room; though shame and remorse hung in the air, his warmth cut through the chill. I refused to let him be my sun, my support. I forbade anything but the looming darkness; not even the moon was allowed to light the obstructed path I walked, and lead me back to dawn.

* * *

 **And so ends Chapter Fifteen! Missions to resume next chapter. It** ** _should_** **be a cooking competition.**

 **I hope for it to be one of many birthday surprises for today. But we shall see how this day plays out...^_^ Worse case scenario, the things I planned to post today can be done on another day.**

 **That's right. I teased you all with the Mai you (or at least I) know and love, in between the cold and callous Mai that stands before you today. I really enjoyed writing that scene, by the way. Its refreshing to write a sweet moment in the midst of all this tension! I've only just begun to scratch the surface on Haru's past. This is only the beginning of him mentioning that mission.**

 **Fun Fact: Her thing with trains is based loosely on yours truly. Whenever I was at my great-grandpa's house, whenever there was a train going by (he lived right in front of a train track) I would run into another room and cover my ears. I just don't like how loud they are and I have yet to go on one. Though it is a goal to try to, one day.**

* * *

 **~ Chapter Question(s) ~**

 **What is your favorite food?**

 **And...**

 **What is your least favorite food?**

 **My Answers:**

 **a) Sushi (Particularly Rainbow Rolls), Chef Salad, and Oreos. Yes, I am counting them as a food.**

 **b) Lima Beans (Just...ugh. Don't** ** _even_** **get me started lol)**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: I was hoping! Sherlock is da man! And I can see why you'd want to be Tohru, she's very likable and she doesn't let life get her down. (Except in a story of yours :p) Though I don't recognize Jim Moriarty. But Akito? Really? :o Ooh, that's true. Especially with the 'special' treatment he receives from Akito. No thanks lol Your dislike for her might just grow stronger with what I have in mind down the road. Yay! Haru is a sweet character all on his own; I just want to do him justice. Yup. Poor Mai is only getting worse, and is fighting herself at the same time. Its pretty exhausting when you're your own enemy.**

* * *

 **See you all for Chapter Sixteen: Alexithymia**


	16. Chapter 16: Alexithymia

**Chapter Sixteen: Alexithymia**

Yuki arrives back at the dorm, hours after the mock interrogation. It was hours later, but Yuki still hadn't broken out of the trance he was in. His breath left him in shallow puffs, as if he were barely alive at all. It leaves the Ox winded as he takes in the shock that heavily marred his pale, porcelain like face. He looked to be on the verge of shattering. Just what the heck happened?

"Yuki?" He starts, dropping to a crouch right in front of him. "What's wrong?"

The zoned out boy angles his head to look down, staring directly at Haru but appearing to be looking straight through him as if he were made of transparent glass. But his face tells nothing of the horrors he's seen, like an opaque work of art that cannot speak for itself. It has to be explained.

"Mai..." he says, in broken narration of what went down. "She. We. Practiced. Interrogation. Father... _Jai_ ," his voice drags out on the last name, his hands flying to his face to shield himself from Haru. To stop the vulnerability in its tracks before he showed everything.

Deciding to leave Yuki to collect himself, Haru snatches up his jacket and makes quick strides out the door. This was the final straw. It was one thing for Mai to hurt him. But it was another for him to leave Yuki shaken up like he was. Regardless of where they left things...he was going to confront her about this. _This_ was where he drew the line in the sand between them.

...

I can hear the sound of his footfalls closing in on me. But I continue walking at a leisurely pace, though the thrill of him pursuing me brings about a sensation I'd forgotten. When I first discovered my feelings for him, he always managed to make me feel this way. It was exciting and beautiful...once. But now, it was more like an inconvenience and a weakness. Both of which I couldn't afford with the life I lead. But he didn't quite see reason when it was right in front of him, bold and in black and white.

Just as I'm about to turn the corner, he grabs for my arm and spins me around, boxing me in against the wall. It was late on a Friday night and I was due for Elites training. We were alone in the hallway, only brightened by the moon that cast mangled shadows over his face. His nose coasted close to mine and I wondered if he meant to kiss me. It took every last shred of fight that I had to suppress the need I felt for him. All my emotions towards the Hashiramas and my friends were on a tight leash and kept in a perfect, orderly line. But with him? They spun out of control and slipped through the cracks before I could reign them in. So when he looks at me with pain and fearful curiosity brimming his stormy eyes, it feels like my heart beat screams with each emotion that floods it. Wonder and desperation are what almost make me take his cheeks in my hands and kiss him with all the strength I believed I had. To rest and collapse against him, allowing myself to indulge in loving him and pouring out my soul. But he beats me to the punch when he asks a question that is drowned out by all these distracting, heightened feelings.

When he realizes that I didn't hear him, his hands slide down the wall to grip my waist. He leans his head down so that his lips trace my ear, but he must think better of what he intended because he stills and repeats his question. "What happened to Yuki?"

His words are like a force that yanks me forward and I lose my balance just enough that if it weren't for the fact his hands were on me, I would have fallen to the floor. But I can't process or understand what his question has done to my wall of glass. I just know that there's a fissure that has stemmed from the fact he didn't go after me because he was hurting for me. He didn't ask me if I was holding up okay after being so ruthlessly wrecked on that mission and why I've been treating him the way that I have. And maybe, its because he was done with me. He was tired of putting 110% in our relationship to only get 57% back because I'd avoided him so many times. And I'd shut him out just as much. This thing he was doing, holding me and showering me in affection...it was all just a ruse. He wasn't our top agent for nothing.

"I gave him a dose of reality," I say, shoving him away and starting back in the way I was headed. "Someone had to."

Unfortunately, not that I expected any different, Haru doesn't leave the conversation at that. He was always relentless that way. I wonder if he was this driven when Rin broke his heart.

"Mai, wait." He skids to a stop right in front of me, effectively halting my steps. "What do you mean by that?"

I laugh, so bitterly the sound almost makes me ill. "I showed him what real interrogation could be like. Now that I know he went whining to you, I wasn't tough enough on him."

"What? Mai, what's wrong with you? You're so-"

"Cruel? Screwed up? Damaged? I know, Haru. So why are you still bothering with me? Can't you see that I clearly don't love you." Yes I do.

My heart is permanently ripped from my chest when his mask smashes to the ground and every thing he's feeling is flashing in my face. There's so much anguish and frustration written in the crease of his forehead and the deep frown etched into his face like stone. He visibly shakes, with anger or fear or sadness...its hard to know for sure. His hands move through his monochromatic hair to grip its locks between his fingers as his eyes fall shut. I'm so shocked that I almost choke on the words I force out next. And its so hard for me to say that I feel short of breath as I utter them.

"I'm done, Haru. I'm breaking up with you. I don't love you...and I never will. So give up on me. Don't love me back. I'll put in a request for us to be reassigned." Each word is heavier than the last and it weighs my tongue down, though I push forward anyway. And in the end I don't walk away from him, I run. I run down the hallway so fast that I can't breathe the entire way. My head throbs. My heart dies. And my body aches when I find myself outside of the training gym. Because all I'm left with is the remorse of my stupid, meaningless words. Words that were the biggest lie I'd ever told. But he would never know that. The time someone like me spent being happy and living was gone the moment that mission was over. Now, I'm empty and dead. And I won't ever go back on my decision if it means giving Haru a shot at falling for the right person. Because as long as Ryu still existed, no one would ever be safe around me. And I never want him to see me for what I truly am. I have to get out while I still can.

...

We all assemble just on the outside of a vast wooded area. It leads towards the location our targets lie and we were expected to make the two day journey on foot for stealth reasons. Our squad was dressed from head to toe in black, complete with black masks that covered our nose and lips to help conceal our identity on the off chance we were seen. Rin sinks to her haunches, unfurling the map over a fallen tree branch as I tuck Old Reliable into the holster strapped to my leg. Kyo was dubbed Compass Boy and was responsible for navigation. Rin, of course, was in charge of keeping us on the right path by checking for landmarks and scouting out bodies of water for hydration and hygiene. Hiro and I were on watch duty, listening out for any potential adversaries that might approach.

She takes out a red pen, drawing a circle around an area off a river bank. "This, is where we set up camp. And this-" she continues, making another large circle around what I assume to be a Victorian home, "is where our eight targets are staying. It needs to be clean. It needs to be flawless, all the way through." She looks each and every one of us in the eye, pointedly. "You are to follow my orders to the letter and are not to stray from command. Capisce?"

We all nod in unison, dropping our everyday demeanor in favor of a more serious one.

I lean forward, resting my hands on my knees as I survey the mileage it'll require to make the hike to the camping grounds. "On foot, it would take us at least eight hours to get there. That's a lot of ground to cover, Captain."

Rin shrugs, rolling the map up again before tossing it into her pack. "If we run, it'll cut the time in half. Breaks only once every hour, and no falling behind. That should get us there in four hours, maybe five tops."

Shigure pouts and whimpers at the prospect of running without ceasing for an hour at a time. Before I can say anything, Kyo slugs the mutt in the arm, ignoring the whine of protest. "Man up, dog. No one forced you to sign on for elites."

Hiro rolls his eyes. "Yeah they did, you moron. We test for it and they put us wherever they see fit. That's how it works."

Ugh. _This_ is supposed to be a squad of killers? Hit men. They looked lethal on the outside; Kyo's flail looked threatening. If you saw a huge ball of spikes heading your way, it would be guaranteed to scare the crap out of you before it even makes its mark. But having a deadly weapon meant nothing without the killer instinct and common sense needed for a successful mission.

I push past the quarreling trio to start the journey, sensing Rin following closely behind me. She didn't seem bothered about me taking the initiative, or being at the head. That was fine with me. I just wanted to get there as soon as possible. There were two targets for each of us to take down; men and women alike. All were potentially suicide bombers. They didn't care if their life was at risk if it meant taking out as many worldwide as possible. At least, that was their agenda. We couldn't afford to waste time with people like that walking this earth.

Kyo and Hiro give indignant shouts for being left behind as they join us at the rear, Shigure trailing them with a weary expression as if we'd already been running for 100 miles.

As soon as we're all in a single file line, the wind whips through the area, requiring that I raise my volume to be heard. "Captain, you give the order. We'll begin when you say."

I feel Rin nod from behind me, shouting, "Squad 107, double time!"

As soon as she gives the word, I break out into a run, full speed ahead in hopes of cutting the time down by another hour. I feel the straining of muscles in my legs, giving way to the amount of force that pulls and propels me forward. My lungs burn due to sudden use without doing a warm-up beforehand, but my body readily adapts to endure the journey ahead, as if I were just training and not racing.

The first rest stop was far from a stone's throw away. But it was actually nearby a lake - just as all the others were near a body of water - so that we could refill our canteens as needed. I smuggled two extra ones so that our supply was less likely to run empty and risk endangering us or hindering the amount of time it would take to get to the destination.

A gust of wind whips my ringlets around, reminding me to secure them once we reached a stopping point. It was usually why I'd always had my hair up; it was ingrained (drilled, being the more accurate term) into me whenever I'd been trained to kill in the past. _Keep your hair up and out of the way, Mai_. Because if your own shortcomings were the reason you failed, you were nothing but useless. Worthless. What reason did you have for existing if you were your own downfall?

...

"Agent 014," Rin starts, referring to me. "The sun's about to go down so we need to set up camp, take a reassessment of supplies, and see what needs to be replenished."

I bob my head in silent concession, swooping down to the set campgrounds where we'd be sleeping for the night. We'd already discussed who would be taking which watch around hour three. I wanted to take all shifts because I couldn't sleep so easily after...my talk with Haru. Anyway, I offered to do so, but Rin said it was completely out of the question and plain stupid of me to suggest.

To compromise, she agreed to giving me second and third watch, as long as I promised to sleep during the first (Rin's) and fifth (Kyo's) watch. Shigure made no motions to step in and sign on for any of them; he seemed content with sleeping the whole night through. Typical.

I remove my pack and drop it to the ground, rummaging through the extra ammo/cartridges and weapons I'd brought along in case I would have to knife the target as opposed to firing my revolver. Apparently, blowing someone's brains out could make quite the racket.

I find the stash of food next to the cyanide pills I'd packed. In case we were apprehended, they wouldn't be able to question us if they had nothing more than a corpse to interrogate; it was standard procedure. Our food supply was only a few more protein bars and stimulants the agency created in their labs to keep us awake and focused. But that was it. We only had enough food to get us through tomorrow, unless one of us took on the task of fishing.

The muscle of our team, a.k.a Rin and Kyo, begin rolling out sleeping bags and gathering stacks of firewood while Hiro and Shigure meander around aimlessly. Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I approach Shigure in the way I know appeals to him best. Flirting.

"Shigure," I purr, using the hedonistic lilt I'd acquired in the arts of seduction sessions. "Y'know, we need a strong man like you to do the heavy lifting around here. You're just so...generous, that I wouldn't be surprised if you offered to help us gather some more food."

He smirks, just as I'd expected him to, and he brings his arms above his head in a flex. "Really? Like...hunting bears, perhaps?"

The temptation to gag rises, but I push past it to put on what I hope is a convincing performance. "Oh _yes_ ," I venture, sultrily. "But I'm thinking more along the lines of fishing. You wouldn't want us girls to faint from watching you do something as... _manly_ as that, now would you?"

His eyebrows furrow as he strokes his chin in thought. "That _is_ true. But, fishing is so-"

"-Sexy," I finish, fluttering my eyelashes as I run a hand down his chest. "I just love a man who knows his way around a fishing pole. If you catch my drift," I wink, while silently urging myself to not hurl.

A cocky smile curves his lips, as his hand trails down to the small of my back. "Mai, do you want to know what I think about that?"

I nod, biting my lower lip and looking up at him as innocently as I can manage. "Absolutely."

"I think..." he begins, smirking. "That's a load of bull and you're trying to get me to do a mundane task you want no part of."

Dangit! How did he catch on? Well, he isn't dumb. But sometimes people like him tend to think with their penis instead of their brain. I guess that his laziness is a force strong enough to overpower that. Or he's more cunning that I originally thought.

Clapping a hand on my shoulder, he slips past me to go lounge on his sleeping bag. Long story short, I knew it would come down to Hiro and I for who would be doing the fishing around here. _Unless_...

"Captain!" I call, purposely stepping on Shigure's outstretched legs as I walk by. I can't help but smile in satisfaction when he howls the moment my foot makes contact. When I'm within normal speaking distance, I decide to go with Plan B rather than doing something as dull as waiting for fishes to fall for bait.

She looks up, irritation crossing her face as she finishes throwing the last bit of firewood into the pit. "What is it?"

"Shigure hasn't done anything the entire trip up here. The way I see it is that he needs to do a little bit of food gathering. We're running low and will barely have enough to get us to the location, let alone the trip back home."

Rin gives a long sigh, planting her hands onto her hips and glowering at the darkening night sky. After a minute or more of this, she stalks over to where he's laying down. But instead of stepping on him, she goes straight for grabbing one end of his sleeping bag, and flipping it over, sending him sprawling onto the hard ground.

"Ow! That smarts." He exclaims, rubbing his back to ease the pain. "I think you damaged my spine."

"If I did that, you would be dead. Don't tempt me..."

Shigure's scowl deepens as he rolls into a seated position.

"Go fish. Literally. I don't care if you have to get into the water up to your knees and grab the fish with your bare hands. Go. Now." She bites out, stomping in Hiro's direction to relay her orders for him. Though I notice the way her disposition softens and she speaks in a gentler, lower volume to him, and he doesn't even bother arguing. He just does.

I stretch my arms above my head before making my way to the fire pit to poke the flames and build up a bigger inferno for dinner. If I were being honest, I would have admitted that I'm not gonna let Shigure fish all by himself. I'll help him out. For the sake of a good meal, of course. No other reason...

...

By the time we arrived at the location, the moon loomed overhead, projecting an eerie covering to obscure us while we moved in the shadows. I run a gloved index finger through the dirt, drawing a line to mark our launching point. This was to ensure that we could all return to the same place as before; it was easy to go in circles due to the forest that surrounded the Victorian. Hopefully now, it'll make the return home that much easier.

Rin slings her assault rifle over her shoulder, just as Kyo passes Hiro a few bows for his quiver, getting into position and awaiting command. Thunder and lightning sounded in the distance, flashing in purples and blues across the grey clouds that hung from the starless sky. Rin gives the signal, dispatching Shigure to the east and Kyo to the west. With a nod in mine and Hiro's direction, we all charge forward towards the northern part of the house. I take the right wall with Hiro on the left and Rin at the door, awaiting a falcon we sent out to scout the positions of our targets. He was specially trained to hunt and had heightened olfactory senses that could hone in on just about any scent in existence, regardless of how long ago he first picked up on it.

Hiro raises an index finger up and out, awaiting Tanje to perch and gesture in which cardinal direction we were meant to head towards. After receiving information, we all split up and start in our separate directions, moving about as inconspicuously as was instilled.

I slide up the wall, ascending the spiral steps towards the utmost northern tower. The sound of rain patters against the exterior, which means the mark I made in the dirt is now completely useless. Nice. Oh well, I didn't have time to fret about that. I had to focus on-

The faintest commotion of conversation is growing louder and louder as the distance between me and the speakers is cut down with each step they take. I grumble under my breath, crouching down momentarily to activate a brass button on the instep of my shoes, listening to the soft hum of its anti-gravity switching on. Just as I can make out the discussion as clear as day, I'm thrust upward and suspended from the ceiling by my shoes. I breathe out a sigh of relief, watching as two men fast-walk down the stairs, shoving each other from side to side and cracking jokes.

Thankful for the newly developed technology, I make my path towards my assignment, opting to remain on the ceiling as opposed to ducking behind corners every time someone so much as sneezed. It was jobs like ours that kept paranoia in business.

When I finally reach the room, I drop down to the floor, and press my ear to the door to listen in. Once the coast is clear, I take several steps back before ramming as much force into my kick as possible, sending it crashing to the floor with a resounding thud. Once the dust clears, I charge in and roll away to avoid a fist aimed for my stomach.

A woman holds a handgun, pointing it in my direction, but I'm too busy dodging physical attacks to immediately concern myself with firing my own revolver. I flip to my feet to face my attacker, fists raised as we circle one another, while I simultaneously keep one eye on the woman and one on him. I move to sweep his feet out from under him, but he jumps at the last second, drawing his leg up high to execute an axe kick. I jerk my leg back, preventing him from shattering my leg, and scrambling to my feet to slip Old Reliable out of its holster. I take a few paces so that I face the both of them, leveling them with what I hope to be intimidation.

"Drop your weapon. Right now," I order, allowing the promise of certain death to lace my tone.

The woman scoffs, cocking her gun and drawing it up to be pressed against her temples. "I'd like to see you _try_ and shoot me, little girl," she sneers, as her partner readies himself into a fighting stance once again. He exhibits all the signs of someone about to lunge at their offender, sending a flash of warning through my veins a second before a blast erupts from the southernmost part of the house.

The entire room is thrown into darkness, lit up temporarily by the woman's gun firing, while a body knocks me to the floor, causing my head to smash against the wooden paneling. The blackness seems to spin and tilt, as I grab my head to soothe some of the discombobulation from smacking my head. But whomever is on top of me manages to pin my wrists at my sides, applying pressure to my wrist to release my weapon. I hear him chuckle, like he thinks he's won this. Little does he know…I'm not scared to play dirty.

I bring my knee up as harshly as I can, shoving into his crotch with force until he rolls off of me and to the floor in pain. I still feel dizzy and sway a little as I get on my hands and knees, feeling around for my gun or my knife or anything that can help me take out these dopes before they can kill anyone else. When my hand finally settles on the familiar handle of a commando knife, created for close quarter combat, it shakes in my hands, and sweat gathers at my palms, making the metal nearly slip out of my grip as blood trickles from my head wound into my eye. I'm not sure what bothers me the most; the dark or the fact I'm about to kill for the first time in years. Maybe it was a twisted combination of all of the above.

I attune my ears so that I can listen to every creak of the floorboards. Every breath that spilled into the air. Anything that would give away his position. Judging by the gun that went off, it was probably a safe bet to assume the woman was dead; but I'll check after this part is over…the worst part.

I hear the tiniest sweep of fabric to the upper left corner. I bare down, crawling my way in that direction with the blade between my teeth, silently enough that he won't see me coming. Or in this case, hear me. Just as I catch wind of the faintest hint of shoe polish, I rip the blade out of my teeth, and jab him in the foot, forcing him to crumble from his place on the ground. I run my hand along the skin of his arm and towards his chest, trailing down until the palm of my hand collides with what I assume to be where his heart is. I grit my teeth as my clammy palm rises and falls with each intake of breath, knowing that I'm about to put an end to it.

I inhale sharply, squeezing my eyes shut as I tear the blade out of his foot and rest the tip near my hand; right where it needs to make its mark.

Before I can think more about it, I hear him spit out curses for American and Japanese blood, promising worldly ruin for all whom didn't abide by the law of his 'sacred' religion. His words make the decision for me, serving to be the reminder of my marching orders. What I had to do.

A final breath leaves him in a prolonged rush of air, his chest deflating beneath the sharpened blade from where it was plunged inside of him. I let go, falling to my back and throwing an arm over my eyes. It was over. He was…he was _dead_. I murdered him…

I completed the mission.

And I hate myself for it.

...

Haru puts his whole body into the swing as his fist makes contact with red, plushy leather. As to be expected, the cushion gives to accommodate the blow, before returning to its original form. But his mind is only on one person and one person only. Such a short name broke his heart when his mind whispered it. Black Haru cursed and slammed against brick wall, carrying such force it begins to crumble beneath his determination. White Haru was drowning, sinking to the deepest depths of the ocean, hitting the bottom like a rock. Because she completely ruined him when she said all of those things. It hurt. _Tap_. It stung. _Tap_. It felt like a thousand jagged blades hitting their mark all at once; he just wished the target of her words wasn't his heart. _Tap. Tap._

His ears naturally perk up at the sound of a door opening. But he lacks consideration and courtesy to the point he doesn't even acknowledge his old sensei. All he wanted to do was tear into his restraints and set his dark side free, because it was the closest thing he had to forgetting everything he hated about himself. It allowed him to blackout in the moments where that part of him was at the helm, while the calm in him crouched down in a corner and shut his eyes and ears, waiting for the nightmare to meet its end.

"What did the punching bag do to incur the wrath of Black Haru?"

His punches start tapping the bag in more forceful, quick increments.

His sensei's words didn't earn him the laugh he'd been hoping for. No, it only served to be a sharp reminder of what - or who, rather - he'd lost. Mai was the only one to see him as one person instead of two. And sure he annoyed her with his aloofness and deadpan. But he also excited her and elicited her admiration for the way he balanced the darkness and light encased within him. To her, the balance of both was beautiful, and it amplified her appreciation for him. Not because they were both sharers of the same curse; not because she was his partner and acted cordial towards him out of obligation; not because he was the greatest, young talent the agency had seen of the male persuasion. But because she adored him. Whether he was kind but sporting a mask that kept himself hidden, or dangerous with lust and salaciousness bleeding through his features. She wanted all...both. Everything. At least, once long ago. She did.

His sensei grabs for his hands, ducking just in the nick of time to dodge a blow headed straight for his head. He whistles as he finally manages to hold him steady. The kid had aim. His student's potential begged for the honor of winning golden gloves. He may not have been quick on his feet, but he sure could punch when he put his heart into it. But now, he could tell only a fraction of his heart went into his swing. He was only half into his training session. Where was the rest of him?

"Let me go...sensei," he grits out, baring his teeth as if he were showcasing the weapon he'd use if he didn't back off.

Well, Kazuma's lived his life. He's loved. He's lost. He's laughed and he's cried. If he did happen to die at the hands of his protege, it wouldn't be the worst death imaginable. But regardless of how painful that might be, he couldn't let this go. Haru was far too important to him; he was like a son, just as Kyo was.

"No."

Haru looks taken aback, though a dark grin wears on his expression. "What did you just say to me? Think carefully before you run out of time to change your answer."

But the surprises just keep on coming. Kazuma latches onto Haru's wrist, yanking it behind him and as high as it can go without dislocating it, pinning him in place with great strength.

"Tell me what's wrong."

But that strength was no match for the Ox of the zodiac. It was more of a laughable attempt instead of a brave move. Because it takes three seconds before Kazuma's face smacks into the wall as he is shoved into it, wincing at the bitter laugh that erupts from behind him.

"What's wrong? Everything is, sensei. Not that you care. You stopped talking to me a year ago. You're no worse than my mom. Or my dad, even. You're all just screwed up and I hate you!"

Kazuma sighs and cranes his head to look at Haru, but he's forced to face front again when Haru pushes him with more force than the first time. "Don't look at me. Just seeing you makes me angry."

He made _him_ angry? Wasn't he already furious before he even stepped foot into this boxing hall?

"You don't understand, Haru. I was away on business. I was dispatched by Sohma agency for a deep cover mission. I was allowed no contact with anyone outside of the role I was playing."

"That's-"

"And I don't think that's the only reason you're so upset. The last time I saw you like this was after you and Rin broke up."

Silence.

"...but from my knowledge, you aren't seeing anyone. Right?"

Yes. He wasn't with anyone. And if this is what it meant to love again - having your feelings run over, fighting tears, and engaging in losing battles that never amounted to anything...he was beginning to wonder if it was a good idea to love her at all. Because it destroyed him just as much as it made him.

He expels a breath that seems to sap him of energy, releasing his sensei from the iron grip he'd had; because now, he didn't have the strength to be angry. And he wasn't really mad at Kazuma. But...there was so much turmoil in the wake of Mai. The girl that wove her way into his heart. His mind. His very body. And she wreaked havoc on every cell...every fibrin of skin and bone that seemed to collapse under this feeling of loss. Everything seemed so grim and grey, like all the colors washed away when she left him. When she yanked herself out of his reach and killed the girl he loved on the inside of that ugly, hollow shell. If this was the way love was...he didn't want to go through it again.

Kazuma takes a seat beside his forlorn student, watching as he digs his nails into clumps of white hair. He takes in the tremors shooting up his arms and legs, like an outside party witnessing a stranger's deconstruction from the inside out. There are no tears or sounds made. But...the lack of tears are far more devastating than their presence, because that meant he was so _wrecked_ that he couldn't process just how deep his sadness went. But boy did he feel it. And it was maddening.

He reaches out to Haru, bringing him in for an embrace, sighing as the grief he felt for his son hit him tenfold.

He shudders, his eyes closing from his place within Kazuma's hold. He couldn't be without Mai. She was vital to him. Crucial. Before he knew she existed, he was perfectly content with living in his little bubble, ignorant to the gold that awaited him on the other side. But now that he's seen the gold...gotten his hands on it. He couldn't part with such a rare, yet undeserved treasure. It would have to be ripped from his dead hands before he would ever let go; no matter how much it ravaged him. Maybe that made him messed up. But even if it was his end, he wouldn't let go...not once.

 **...**

After that mission, when we got back home, I hadn't left my bed the entire day following the debriefing. I would't dare look myself in the mirror. Or anyone else. And I had too much to think about to do anything.

I told Haru a few days ago that I would file a request for us to be assigned to new partners. But, I just couldn't bring myself to follow through. It felt...impossible, really. And now, I'm more confused than I've ever been. Because if I were really looking out for the one person I've loved with everything wrong and right about me, I would have pushed myself away from him. I would have left him before I was tracked down and someone could get to him. I know he can hold his own in most situations. But I never told him how truly bad Ryu was. He was like no one I'd ever encountered in the time I've been in agent, or anyone that Haru has told me of. But then...there was also the part of me that was just ashamed.

I'm ashamed to be with Haru now that I've been...that I was...that. Who could really love you despite having another man inside you? How can you be with someone when you don't want them to touch you? It was like Foxy said, when she told me that any guy you might have had a chance with, would always be playing second fiddle to the person that...did that.

It wasn't until now that I truly understood Foxy's plight. Or learned what the term _damaged goods_ really meant.

Today is my last day for the medical internship before I was finally through with fulfilling my volunteer hours. Helping out the elderly - or in my case, tending to people that couldn't care less about their health - paid off during college application time. It was kind of like a beauty pageant; the judges would field questions on what you would do to end world hunger and crap like that, just to see which contender was the most worthy of joining their past alumni. To me, the whole thing was illogical, but if my job fell through and someone found out Haru and I broke a rule or two by being together...then I'd have yet another backup plan.

I slide the white curtain back, its rings clattering against their metal pole before I make my way into the recently vacated room. A month ago, I'd managed to be promoted from replacing bed pans to recording vials and inserting IVs. To knock out a few more hours, I agreed to helping with sterilizing the rooms and stripping the beds for any up and coming patients.

Dipping the yellow sponge into a soapy mop bucket of water, I slap it against the wall to scrub away the invisible germs that clung to the room when the sound of wheels squeaking across the tile floor break me out of my concentration. I hear radio chatter from what I presume to be a police's walkie talkie and a young woman weeping from the room just on the other side of the divider.

It was odd. It wasn't the standard for police to show up unannounced to the hospital without a GSW (Gun Shot Wound) or worse. Maybe he was a husband or a father to the woman. I just didn't understand why it would matter to me-

"Ma'am? To file this report, you need to tell us everything that happened. Everything you can remember about your assailant."

I still in my cleaning again, straining my ears to get a better idea of what's being said.

Her voice comes out shaky, weak. "Officer _please_. I can't...I can't talk about this, right now. Its too much!"

"I know this must be hard on you-"

"-Hard on me?" The woman croaks, her tone offended. "You don't know the half of it! You have _no_ idea what its like to have someone shove themselves inside of you, do you? No. You don't, because you're a man. And men like _you_ don't get raped like little women like me."

My stomach turns as beads of sweat form on my lip, though I don't understand why I'm reacting this way. It was just secondhand information about something a woman went through. I'm not her. So why is it bothering me?

"Ma'am, I just need the facts so we can create a sketch and catch this guy. Once we do, we can bring any potential suspects that match the description you give for a lineup. But I'm going to need your full cooperation."

What an insensitive _idiot_. Did people like him _really_ get hired to _defend_ the helpless?

Something like creaking from sudden movement comes from their direction, followed by the sound of fists slamming into the railing of the hospital bed.

"I wasn't looking at his face, you cretin! Forget showing you any respect! I don't care!" She spits out. "Do you want me to tell you what he _felt_ like? Because that is all I can remember about him. It hurt. It felt like he was invading every last inch of me and ripping his way through my soul. It-it felt like he stole my identity and now I'm no longer who I lived my life being. I'm only a victim now. All I can remember and think about every waking moment is how he _stole_ me. He didn't just take from me, but he took me with him...and now, there's nothing left."

All of a sudden, it was like a war zone inside my chest; a battle waging within the hollows of my rib cage as my heart stormed the gates. A bout of nausea slams into me, forcing me to rush to the nearest bathroom and expel whatever was within me until I did nothing more than dry heave. Sweat pours down from my forehead, sliding to the end of my nose as I swipe at my mouth. It was just really too much. Too much to listen to...

Too much.

...

A few days later...

After having recovered from whatever that was at the hospital, I pulled it together enough to embark on the mission of watching over Summer in New York. Right along with the partner I couldn't bring myself to walk away from.

Surprisingly, the photo shoot with Summer didn't go too badly. Well, unless you count Summer attempting to trip me on the flight to New York, the fact that I had to stand by Haru's side the entire time, or being forced to share a room with the blonde that flirted with him every five seconds. But the most difficult was avoiding any unprofessional communications with Haru at all. Even though it was all my own doing.

I was the one to break things off with Haru. I was just so angry and frustrated that he even confronted me about the interrogation practice with his best friend. And it wasn't that I was mad at him. I was mad at myself. He was right to tell me off. Its not that I was ever unaware of how wrong it all was...I just...

I don't want to face myself.

To look in the mirror, knowing and remembering everything. To be devoured by my unquenchable desire to scream and break things, just for some small form of reprieve.

The scarred forefingers with a cancer stick imprisoned between them burned into my memory like the curse word on my wrist. How his perfectly kept nails dug into the flesh of my thighs as he parted them, forcing his way into my soul and body. A cacophony of sounds that should have been for Haru's ears only, were ripped from my lips like duct tape, and all I felt was the sting of its absence. The room had been teeming with the smell of dirt and nectar, a saccharine sweetness that made my stomach churn at the thought. I found myself plunged into the very recesses of an abyss, bottomed out with alexithymia.

But as I stand before the bathroom sink, with my legs wobbling, and the gelid cold that had protected me from remembering was failing. Something hot and unfamiliar rains down from my eyes and splashes against the counter's edge. My black nails dig into the palm of my hand, until they break skin and cry crimson. With a growl of frustration I slam my hand against the sink's rim and watch the blood stream from the wound and corrupt the white surface. I wasn't supposed to cry. I had no right! I'm a monster. I'm a ruthless killer that deserved _everything_ bad that happened to me.

An overwhelming wave of loathing drowns me and I can't help but see red. Without a second thought, I raise my hand, and bring it down harshly over my face with such force my head snaps to the left. I inhale sharply at the raw, but welcomed pain, ignoring the final tear that managed to slip past my mask.

 _Haneul_

 _Haru_

 _The drug store manager..._

 _Everyone who died or was hurt by my hand._

How ironic that my past continued to rob me of everything, and I was forced to atone for it through losing and losing and...losing.

No matter. Come hell or high water, I will _not_ let myself be weak. Because the moment I let my guard collapse is the very second that I put everyone important to me at risk; Haru, Tohru, the Hashiramas, and Rin would all be in harm's way should Ryu ever find me. Or even worse...the blood lust that surged through my veins and reanimated me like heroin wouldn't shut off when the job was done. I wouldn't stop at just taking down enemies and foes. But friends, lovers, and family until there was no one left for me to protect or run from.

And the little girl inside of me, locked in a steel box, would find an opening and emotions would bleed through my blackened heart and demand that I spare those people that I was scared of losing. If I didn't, there would be nothing left but a loose cannon with no heart and no regard for life. Just...nothing.

With that, I flip the light switch, and the room is enveloped in pitch black. I'd washed my face, erasing the evidence of frailty. Though I knew of the chink in the armor I surrounded myself with; the weak spot in the dam that only grew softer the more I pushed Haru away and remained in my seclusion. Despite all of this, I squared my jaw, rolled my shoulders back, and charged into the bedroom like an emotionless soldier to occupy my hands with unpacking.

But when I get back to the room...Rin's waiting for me. She doesn't reveal anything she's thinking about in her expression. Her eyes penetrate me with their intensity, pinning me in place.

"There's something you need to know."

...

I stand outside his dormitory. Water pelts me like bullets, grazing the skin of my arms and legs. But I just remain in place, soaked to the bone as if the water nurtured me. As if it helped me to right myself and breathe normally again. I'm drenched in the yellow, ethereal glow that emanates from the streetlight that towers above me, as my clothes cling to me like they're an extension of me by the time I hear approaching footsteps. But I refuse to turn around. I know its not just an ordinary person, passing me by on the sidewalk. He has a different feel; a different atmosphere that follows him, latching onto his coattails and demanding that you give him your undivided attention. It beckons you to involve yourself in the mystery that is Haru, enticing you to give your secrets in exchange for his own.

"Mai, I need to talk to you." His speech is smooth and seamless, rather than the stilted staccato I'd anticipated. We were both coming from two separate paths, to meet at the neutral crossroads of this sidewalk, just outside of his dorm. The air was thick and suffocating, even though the downpour only came down harder.

I meet his request with silence, grasping both of my arms in a weak attempt to trap whatever heat remained.

It rained down with a vengeance as his arms wind around my waist, and his mouth rests below my ear. The moment his lips pressed against my neck, I should have swung on him. Hit him...did _something_ to get far, far away. But I'm an idiot...my hand moved to the back of his head, to pull him closer. And my eyes fall shut as I fight my desire to escape, though I wish I didn't feel the unction to stay here.

He groans against my skin, a whoosh of warmth setting off goosebumps as he surrounds me. I feel so miserable because I know it wasn't his fault that Rin kissed him, no matter what she said. I know he didn't reciprocate it. And I hate that. It would have made it so much easier to leave him if he'd decided to cheat on me back then. He was faithful to me...even when I was a royal pain; a virus, to him.

His thumbs find the belt loops of my jeans, drawing me to him in a movement I barely register as he lays kisses all over me. We're bathed in rain and fog, but it doesn't seem to deter either of us from giving in to what we'd been starved of the past few months. One hand moves from my hip to my stomach, as he nips my earlobe. I didn't even know that my ears were sensitive or that they could be considered erogenous until I'd gotten entangled with him. But...

"Haru," I gasp out, biting my lip to keep from crying out at the onslaught of emotion. He was like a heady, intoxicating cocktail that I finally allowed myself to indulge in again.

He shivers at the way I say his name, and his palm flexes against my stomach.

"Can we go to your room?"

He pauses at my request, leaning back just enough that my heart rate climbs down a step or two. When it hits me that it sounds like I'm implying that I want to become a new notch in his headboard, I stumble over my words trying to clarify.

"I mean..um, to..talk. Because I- er, we need to?"

His answer is to grab my hand and run out of the rain and into the shelter of his dorm. The hallways lack light except for the little lanterns that hang overhead. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. It had to have been well past lights out by now.

The plan was for us to come back and discuss everything. But when I got a look at his movie collection, I changed direction in hopes of putting it off for as long as possible. If the wrong things were said, it could be the end. Even though I tried to cut him loose myself, I did it because I was afraid...and especially terrified of him maybe rejecting me. But I realize now that never being with him again is the scary part.

I blindly picked out a movie and popped it into the DVD tray, taking my seat next to Haru on the floor in front of his bed. The screen illuminates and casts its glow across the room as it picks up where he or Yuki left off the last time. In the scene, a woman presses her hand against the glass of the shower, and it fogs up with condensation as a man lurks into the bathroom, creeping on her as she showers.

What the heck?

It transitions to him making his way down the hallway, into the kitchen towards what I assume to be her kitchen sink. His gaze drops to where the wine glass is deposited, bringing it up to examine the lip print that stained it. He draws it towards his mouth, matching his lips up with hers and drinking the last remnants of red wine.

Okay...I apparently suck at selecting movies at random. Good to know.

Haru's hand drops to mine, his fingers weaving through the spaces between. Its the familiarity of his ring on my finger, colliding with his that snaps me out of the film and into reality. My hearing is tunneled, narrowed. Its as if every other sound is muted except ours; of breaths and heartbeats. Mine is thudding and clamoring like I could hear it through the floorboards, taunting me into submission. Like it was beckoning me to bend to its will and relieve it of its wounds by baring them to him. All because he reached out to me to be my anchor.

"I...was raped, Haru." I try to inhale, but there's a knot in my chest. Even though I know I've stated the obvious.

"And, I don't know what to do anymore. I thought I had everything under control and that nothing could throw me. I've seen too much. Heard too much... _done_ too much, to be affected as badly as I was. But I-" I falter in my confession as my voice catches on that one syllable. I choose to stare down at my legs, covered by the pair of shorts he let me borrow from being out in the rain.

"I feel like there's no hope. For real, this time. I'd always thought like that, it was my mentality to not have faith or put my hope in anything...or anyone. But I really can't get over this." I grit my teeth, feeling the dam softening and my defenses beginning to fold. "I just _can't_ stop thinking about it. Or feeling it. Its like every time I breathe, I can feel him inside of me and its a nightmare."

The oxygen in the room feels paper thin. I heave, desperately trying to stop the panic attack from taking me. Because I don't want to fall apart. Not in front of him!

His hold on my hand tightens marginally, my pulse jumping in response to my sudden awareness of him again. I can feel the rage and sadness from the way his hand quivers, but it never releases mine. And I know right then, that's it for me. There was no chance I'd be leaving here emotionally unscathed. It was impossible. I turn towards him, tracing the line of his jaw with my thumb, feeling the stinging in my eyes and the inevitable that follows.

I start crying.

A wave of vertigo knocks the breath out of me as my chest caves in on itself. But he only holds me to him, tilting his head downwards so that his forehead meets mine. He doesn't ignore how badly I'm trembling and on the verge of convulsions because of how much fear and panic is gripping my soul. He doesn't mock how the rhythm of my heartbeat is rapidly spiraling off beat. Instead, his own tears fall upon my eyelashes and join mine, gliding down my cheeks to converge at my chin. I'm struck with the sudden overwhelming warmth and cold that stems from him crying for me. And crying with me. I can't help but bury my head into the point where his neck meets the collar of his worn band tee, though I apologize over and over about soaking his shirt with my weakness.

"Never apologize for crying in front of me, Mai," he whispers into my hair, kissing me on the top of my head, fearing how I'd react to intimacy. "Emotion isn't something we're supposed to hide."

I pull my lip between my teeth, laughing through my tears a little. "You really do have a poetic soul..."

He smiles in remembrance, drawing my hand up to the lips that alleviated my pain. He rains kisses down on my knuckles and fingertips, as he recalls how much time has gone by. "You learn something new about me everyday? Isn't that right?"

I watch his lips trail past the back of my hand to the inside of my wrist, entranced by his ministrations. "I've been learning about you since the day we met. Remember that game of 20 Questions? We never did finish, after all-" My breath hitches as he pulls me into his lap so that my legs are on either side of him, and we're eye to eye. But I try to hide his image and plunge myself back into darkness by squeezing my eyes shut. It was so familiar being this close to a man...and the last time...that ended in so...much...

"Open your eyes, Mai."

Its gentle but carried with great conviction. But I'm scared to open my eyes. I don't want to see that man staring back at me. I didn't want to see those blue eyes or those black loafers. I could still feel his nails on me. And smell the space barely and saltine crackers from then...I didn't want to see him.

"Please?" I feel his hand take my chin, caressing it with his thumb. "I would never hurt you."

I inhale. Then exhale.

When my eyes reopen and the blurry focus of black and white clears, I recognize who is here with me. And he would never hurt me. Not like that.

My heart leaps with gratitude and praise. Because I'd never known someone so kind and patient and understanding. Everyone always abandoned you when it wasn't _convenient_ for them anymore. But he's also pushed when he needed to, and left me to myself in the moments I couldn't breathe because of where I was and whom I was with. I feel indebted to him, but have no way of knowing how to repay him. What could I possibly give him?

"Haru?" I ask, opening and closing my hand as hesitance creeps in. "What do you want? How can I repay you for putting up with me?"

Silence sweeps the room and something like a draft follows my question. He doesn't give away what he's thinking or feeling even though I'm looking right into his eyes. Didn't they say the eyes are the window to the soul? Because his revealed nothing but the blankness I was once accustomed to. But instead of answering, he smirks, and his hand moves to the small of my back. He yanks me forward so that I'm flush against him from my seat on his lap, leaving no space between us emotionally or physically. His mouth lands on my cheek and he speaks against me, "You can give me your pain." His lips glide to outline mine before pausing just above them. "You can give me your wants and needs. Your heart and soul." I suck in a breath and this time, he shivers as he hovers over my bottom lip. "You can give me yourself. That's all I need."

I try to laugh to ease the tension, but it comes out breathy. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have some milk, Moo Man?"

His toxic eyes blaze like oil unifying with fire. As if my laughter was his kerosene. "I've missed you, Mai..." he murmurs, pressing his lips against mine and wrapping his arms securely around my waist. I moan out of pain just as much as I do pleasure, because it hits me how badly I've missed him. It hurt more to be apart than I'd ever imagined...I loved him. So much that I couldn't wrap my head around it. I take his cheeks in the palms of my hands, reciprocating his kiss with more passion and fury than I've ever managed to before. I was whirled up in an emotion that had my chest bursting with delight and regret all at once.

His tongue skims my lips like he was trying to get to the end before reading me from the beginning. When his tongue plunges past my lips and I taste vanilla, it lights me up in a way that I can't explain. He said that he hated vanilla...but there was the flavor of the malts I drank. Vibrations from his throat thump around like the bass to our favorite song as he runs his hands down my sides in a manner that makes my insides burn with his heat. I shift as warmth pools in my stomach and his hips roll towards mine, enticing a throaty sound to part my lips in a way that's embarrassing. I withdraw, mortified though Haru seems to be enjoying every minute of it. He closes the gap by taking my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking it, before diving towards my throat and kissing his way down. And my back arches against the onslaught of intensity. It kindles more of that heat that floods the pit of my stomach as the desire for what was my biggest fear is stirred. Sex. Sex. Sex. That's all I wanted...but its wrong. All of it. Even though that last bit of innocence had already been stolen from me, I still wanted my time with Haru to be special and kept within marriage. For him to show me that sex didn't have to be ugly or selfish. If he would have me one day, that is.

Remembering this, I have to rip myself apart from him to hold onto the wits I had left. Even though he was a tempting alternative. "We need to stop..." Unfortunately, my whimper didn't sound too convincing.

"Yeah," he rasps, his hands clasping behind my back and halting their movements. "You're right. I'm sorry. I got carried away."

I nod, feeling just as guilty as he sounded. "I know. I did too. And..."

"And?" He asks, encouragingly.

"It felt...um. Good?" I squeak out, my cheeks blaring like a red traffic light. It somehow darkens to a new shade when he chuckles, pecking me on the lips softly. "You sound unsure."

"Well, I'm sure. I really enjoyed it." I close my eyes, slapping my hand to my forehead. "I sound so stupid."

"No you don't," he insists, rising to his feet with my legs still wrapped around his midsection. "I find it unbelievably sexy how shy you are about it."

I huff, flinging my arms around his neck so I won't fall. "Yeah right."

"I mean it."

Choosing to ignore his statement and the blush it brings, I decide to ask him the question that had been nagging me for the past few minutes as he seats us on the bed. "Did you happen to have ice cream today? Like, vanilla?"

He gives me such a wicked grin that my heart is devoured by anticipation. "Why do you ask?"

"Just answer the question, Hatsuharu," I demand, impatience swelling up in my chest like a balloon full of hot air. "Or I'll have to kill you."

Haru starts with a laugh, surprise and satisfaction burning brightly in his eyes. "You're still just as feisty as before. Have I told you that I missed you?"

I duck my head to hide my smile, but can't help but wonder if he's trying to distract me again. "Yes, you did. But that still doesn't answer me." I amble off his lap and make my way up the bed, sitting so that my back rests against the headboard. I go so far as to fold my arms and glare at him until he decides to give me a straight answer.

He holds his hands up in surrender, shrugging with that stupid (sexy) smirk of his. "I did have a malt, Queen Mai. I apologize if it offended your highness."

I growl and snatch up one of his pillows, bopping him on the head before tossing it behind me. "Smart alec. I thought you hated malts."

"I do," he quips, twisting around so that he faces me full on and looks about ready to pounce on me. "But its like I've said. I missed you...malts remind me of you."

He always knows what to say to get me feeling sappy. How?! "Well dumplings probably do, too. But I don't see you eating that crap."

Such a simple statement seems to engulf him in appreciation and contentment, having long forgotten my pillow assault, he decides to join me at the head of the bed. He slips under the covers and gestures for me to move for a second so that he can pull back the covers on my side of the bed. I like the sound of that... _my_ side of his bed. It spoke of commitment as if he wanted to keep me at his side. He doesn't have to tell me twice for me to bury myself beneath his heavy, toasty blanket before he turns off his bedside lamp and darkness clothes the room.

Terror causes me to frantically look around, wishing my eyes were already adjusted to the dark. I didn't have my sleep aid or nightlight. It was always so hard to sleep when it was pitch black now.

The familiar panic bears down on me so heavily that it feels strangling, seconds before I'm against a warm, inviting body and wrapped up in an embrace that quiets the fear that ran rampant in my mind. His breath comes out in short, warm puffs against my hair as he cradles the back of my head and my leg entangles with his again. I allow the serenity I only knew around him to settle over me like the darkness that almost paralyzed me just a moment before.

I didn't know what just happened tonight. I wondered if I was even sober because all the decisions I made under the secrecy of twilight were not the same ones I'd make once the dawn rose. But I'd felt lonely for so long. And right now, I don't. I don't care about anything else right now. I could deal with it in the morning. But all I wanted to do was lie here with him and pretend that things were just as before; when the mission hadn't happened yet.

Now if only my heart could convince my brain of that come tomorrow morning. Right now, my celebrated memory and brain were just a big pile of mush.

"Goodnight Mai..."

Yup. Mush.

I nuzzle his neck and close my eyes, reveling in how comforting it was to be so close to him.

"Goodnight Haru."

...

The sound of Haru's snores heralded the dreaded moments of waking that followed my mistake. Our mistake. I was in his arms and my heart felt as light as its ever been, but all I could wonder was what the heck I was thinking letting my emotions get away from me like that. There were so many odds stacked against us it wasn't even funny; the agency, Ryu, and my inability to love him properly. All of it was cast aside for just one moment of baring my weakness and letting him back in. And I knew there would be serious ramifications for all of it the second the first tear fell. Not that it stopped me any.

I maneuver so that I can substitute myself with a pillow, leaving Haru to clutch it to himself, as I roll up into a seated position. I stare out the window and count the seconds under my breath, waiting for the inevitable minute he'll realize I'm awake and he's cuddling a pillow. That's the way agents were. They typically never dropped their guard when in the company of an enemy, and sometimes an ally. The fact that we were far closer than allies and he always stirred whenever I did, meant he was _always_ in fight-or-flight mode whenever I lied beside him; always on guard in case someone tried to attack me in my sleep.

I reach five seconds before I hear rustling from behind me and soft lips choose my shoulder to be their destination. He kisses me soundly, skating along the skin there before resting his chin on it and staring up at me.

"Do you regret this?"

I reel back in surprise, completely rendered off guard by his cumbersome inquiry. That was the last thing I expected him to ask me. I thought he'd tell me that he enjoyed last night, or even make some kind of joke. But he asked the only thing weighing my mind down like a ton of cinder block. And I had no idea how to answer him with the truth in a way that wouldn't sting.

"Yes," I whisper, hoping the softness of my voice will strip away the bite of my response.

He flinches against me, but his arms go around my waist as if I just told him that I felt no guilt at all.

"But I don't want to. I wish I could be happy that all of this happened. But I can't, Haru. It just makes what was already difficult, impossible."

"Mai," he says, putting his legs out in front of him, leaving me in the middle. Before I can protest, my back collides with his chest and his grip on me only increases. All the while, I'm too nervous to look back at him to see if his heart is crying for my attention through his eyes. But he leaves me with no choice, taking my chin in the palm of his hand and craning my head towards him.

"I don't regret it."

I expel a huge breath as my eyes close in frustration. I knew that he wouldn't. He's never tried to distance himself from me. I did enough of that for the both of us. But then why would he tell me this?

"I'm saying this because you need to hear it, just as much as I need to say it. I'm going to tell you something, then I'll let you do what you want with it. If you hear it and run, refusing to ever speak to me or have contact with me again...I'll understand and leave you alone. Though I want you to know I'll never get over you. But if you choose to stay right here in this bed with me..."

I gulp. "If I choose to stay?"

He simply smirks, his lips hovering near my ear. "Then I'll never give up on you, no matter how stubborn you are. And I'll cherish you...let you know everything...and I'll show you how badly I want you with physical acts instead of my words. Because I'm not the type of person to talk that much."

Wow. Whoa. I had no idea what he was going to tell me, but that was one heck of a buildup to it. How is it that someone so monotone to everyone else can make me breathless with his heartfelt words when we're alone? Who am I kidding? Even when we were in a crowd, he wrecked me in the best way imaginable. And now, I craved what he wanted to say like I needed it to continue living and existing.

When he dips his head beneath my chin and kisses the hollow of my neck, the words that come next undo me to point I lose my mind.

" _I love you._ "

I spin around in his arms and kiss him as hard as I can, causing us to both fall against the pillows in unison. He wastes no time kissing me back, making my head spin like I was hooked on the most powerful drug. And I thank him against his lips over and over because no one has ever spoken those words to me before. And I'm in love with them, no matter what else they might bring.

Our lips remain connected though void of the oxygen that seemed to be more of a hindrance than anything. I straddle his waist as his hands move all over me and I find it harder to string together coherent thoughts. All I know is my body and his body, and what I could do to make everything feel better. More powerful. More friction and heat.

But he's the one to stop. He relinquishes the captivity he has over my lips, long enough to look me in the eyes as he tries to catch his breath, watching me chase after mine. We just stare at each other in disbelief of both of our actions. I'm blissfully and painfully aware of my position on top of him when I'm struck with the realization that I haven't returned his words; the very same ones that have been etched into my heart for endless months.

"I love you, Haru. I love you so much. But it hurts and its overwhelming." And I can never stay away from you. I learned that the hard way.

His smile seizes my heart, but the sensation only intensifies when he flips me over, leaning over me with his hands beside my head. He ducks down so that his nose touches mine and I can't help but smile like an idiot when he does.

"You have no idea what that makes me feel, Mai. And I wish I could tell you that its the only emotion that I don't reject or feel bad about. I just don't know how to express what it is other than saying that I love you."

My eyes fly open and I draw my hand up to run through his hair, laughing when he sighs with what I take to be satisfaction. "Does your offer still stand? About what you'd do if I stayed?"

He grabs my hand in his and interlaces our fingers, kissing the union of our hands. "Yes."

I know that we'll have to deal with a whole lot of crap now that we're together again. But we could talk about that another time. Right now, I wanted to just talk to him about everything I missed the chance to.

"Haru...? I met my mom. Awhile back ago."

For the first time, he's unable to hide the shock that shapes his features. He goes stock still and his gaze drops to my lips as if wondering if those words really came out. "Come again?"

I smile shyly, watching as he lies down beside me, still holding my hand. "I met my mom. I know she told me not to tell anyone her real identity, but I trust you. She's Maho Kagome."

He looks at me blankly, before an eyebrow lifts in question. "I have no idea who that is."

I roll my eyes, remembering that its Haru I'm talking to. He didn't care for A-listers outside of missions. "Picture feminist millionaire who's tough and ready to take on the best of them." The smile on my face fades away as I think about what I'm going to say next. "She's not at all what I thought she'd be. She made me promise not to tell anyone I was her daughter because she thought I'd damage her rep. And...we only communicate by e-mail. She's very impersonal that way."

Haru shoots me a look of empathy, recalling his relationship with his own mother. "I hate that its like that for you. I hoped you would always have a better life than that."

I nod, reliving the pain of our first meeting. "So did I. But at least she tells me about my dad and sends me some of his stuff. He died on the battle field. But from what I heard, he seemed to be a stand-up guy. Always looking out for other people; looking at them and loving them as if they were the last person on earth. He had a beautiful soul. And I'm more sad that I never met him."

All of a sudden, out of the blue, he flicks me in the forehead. He smiles as bright as his name proclaims as he explains himself before I can make good on my threat of ending him.

"Whenever I was sad you would do that. And for some reason...I felt better afterward." Maybe that makes us masochistic, but it helped make me feel somewhat better. Like it snapped me out of the melancholy path my thoughts were making.

"Okay, okay...fair enough."

He grunts in answer and I shove at him, pouting in his direction. "Don't you take that tone with me, Hatsuharu."

He smiles as his eyes trail down the length of my neck. The grey of his eyes flickers in curiosity and fascination as he brushes his fingertips against the flesh of my throat, tracing the outline my choker left in its wake. I relay what happened and why I decided to stow it away in the top drawer of my dresser.

"I'll buy you a new one, then," he offers, meeting my eyes as his fingers continue to swipe the bare skin of my neck. "And I can promise you that it won't be cheap or fake like you hate. But I'll make sure that its a legit gemstone."

I try my best to fight the way my lips are lifting upward, but its serves to be a vain attempt. "You don't have to do that. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trying to be modest or some crap. But I really wouldn't want you to." My smile falters. "I just...I owe you too much Haru. I don't deserve what you have to give me. And before you try to convince me otherwise, you can't deny that I've hurt you. I saw it when I forced myself to say that I didn't love you and never would. I've noticed it every time that I've run away from you and watched it break you each time."

I close my eyes to stop the tears that are forcing their way to the surface, but one spills over my cheek anyway.

"I'm sorry that I treated you that way, Haru. But no matter how much I apologize or love you and give you all that I am, I feel that its never enough. And I can never fix what I screwed up. That's why I regretted last night...because I'm stealing your chance to be truly happy. You love me and I love you. But I don't think you could ever really be happy by staying with me."

He groans and drags his hands down his face, looking to be the most frustrated I've ever seen him. His teeth grind against one another and he doesn't dare open his eyes as he tries to keep his temper in check. I wonder if I really pushed him over the ledge. Maybe I was annoying him, rehashing the same draining conversation over and over. He loves me and he seems to forgive me. So...why am I still questioning him? Why am I like this?

His hands grab for my shoulders and he fixates his gaze on mine, onyx gently fading back to grey.

"Mai, I don't love anyone else. I _can't_ love anyone else. Did you know that Rin wasn't the only one to kiss me since that mission?" I can almost hear the sound of my heart ripping in response to his words. Because he'd always been faithful to me and I never thought he'd been involved with anyone else. I didn't understand.

"There was a girl that went by the name of Angel. She had beautiful red hair and yeah, I was attracted to her. And when you were out on that mission with the elites, after we'd broken up, she invited me back to her place."

I waste no time shaking my head, more desperate to leave and take the fragments of my heart along with me before he could do any more damage. I had been torn down and patched back up all in a short amount of time and I didn't want to deal with any more.

"I don't want to hear this, Haru."

"I know. But I need to tell you before we go on. I need to prove to you that there's no one else that can ever satisfy or make me happy...as I was saying, she invited me to her place. I was upset and angry and I was trying to get over you as quickly as possible. I thought she'd help me do that; that she'd find a way to screw my pain away and make me forget. But no matter how many times I kissed her, it didn't numb me. It didn't make me feel better. All I felt was more loathing for myself and the fact that I lost you."

I shudder and draw my knees to my chest, speechless. What could you really say to all of that? I'm glad that you kissed two someones that weren't me because it gave you this deep revelation? Don't get me wrong, I felt for him a little. Because I coped with my own pain by reverting back to my ways of killing instead of sparing. Ruining instead of healing. But I could never be with anyone else without feeling like a traitor to Haru...and myself.

Haru's palm descends to rest on the small of my back, splaying his fingers against the material of my blouse and warming me with the caress of his fingertips. I can tell his expression is somber without even having to look at him. Admitting this to me didn't feel good to him either.

"Mai, I just don't want you to doubt me. You've always just assumed I would react badly to the things you've kept from me or...shown me." Like the mission I was nude for. "You didn't want to tell me about the name on your wrist, which I can understand because we were still strangers. For the most part, anyway. But..."

"I still haven't told you everything," I say, shame rooting me in place so that I can't run this time. I spin Haru's ring on my finger in an attempt to brace myself for what was sure to come. Would he be angry? Sad? Annoyed?

He sighs and his hand circles my waist, his palm laying flat against my stomach as his forehead falls against my shoulder. "I haven't told you everything either."

I cant my head to the side, not quite understanding what he meant by that. "What?"

"I haven't told you everything. You haven't told me everything. But that's fine. We can learn about each other as we go instead of revealing it all at once. There are times when we play 20 Questions and times when we learn by observing. Like...I know your favorite color is mine, too. Black. Its the color you paint your nails with. And whenever you would choose one of my shirts to sleep in, that's what you always went with."

I have to laugh at that. "Haru, your entire wardrobe is black. You don't give me much to work with."

He shrugs, smiling against my shoulder. "I guess you're right. But you get my point, right?"

I nod. I did understand what he was saying. We didn't have to be forthcoming with information about ourselves _all_ the time. But we shouldn't hide it or try to cover our tracks, either. We never finished that game we started on the night we met. Although, I have a new one in mind.

"How about we play a different game? Instead of asking each other a limited number of questions...let's just guess things by observing. It would be good reason to put our training into practice as an added bonus."

He lies back again, pulling me along with him so that my head rests against his chest, and I fit between him comfortably. Once we get settled, his thumb strokes the unmarked skin of my arm, soothing my mind to a state of ease for the first time since falling asleep last night. And the first time since I'd been separated from him.

He pecks me on the forehead for a few beats, before responding with, "Okay."

A few minutes surrounded in his warmth and I'm on the verge of sleep, only to distantly hear something about me being clumsy and napkins. But the last words I catch before my eyes have the chance to close are the three I find myself addicted to.

"I love you."

My lips attempt to form the words to return his love and invigoration, but I'm too heavily weighed down with exhaustion. But he notices, feeding my addiction to him and his heart by kissing the words that I couldn't say. I feel him smirk against my lips as I'm pulled under the hold of slumber.

* * *

 **Its always interesting to write chapters like this out of order. I wrote two scenes of their reconciliation after their breakup but before the boxing scene lol And I know this chapter is MaixHaru heavy, but I feel like it's been awhile since their relationship has been on the up and up. We'll be taking a step back from focusing on what's happening between them and more on their careers as agents, family, and what's going on with Akito.**

 **Quite a meaty chapter. I recommend not taking it all in one bite. (I'm so not funny... ^.^') I haven't updated in forever, so this is to compensate! (That and the fact I might not update again, as quickly as I predicted)**

 **This story is one that I love dearly and I've put the most time, effort, and dedication towards it out of any other. But** **this story feels like its almost at its end. When it happens you just know...xD** **I will leave you with the final chapters I have in mind, and I hope you all understand and look forward to my newer stories.**

 **Upcoming Final Chapters (Subject to Change) and Projected/Predicted Posting Date**

 **Ch.17: Sorority Sisters & Other Family Affairs (First Week of June)**

 **Ch.18:** **Welcome to France Part One (First Week of July)**

 **Ch.19: Welcome to France Part Two (First Week of August)**

 **Ch.20: Sleeping With The Enemy (First Week of September)**

 **Ch.21: Or Die Trying (First Week of October)**

 **Ch.22: Phantom Limb (Epilogue) (First Week of November)**

 **I do want to apologize to the guest that reviewed Chapter Thirteen: Flirting With Disaster. I'm extremely sorry that I didn't include a warning (its there now) at the beginning of the chapter. I think I didn't consider a trigger warning because I've been through something of that nature, but I'm at the point where reading about it doesn't bother me as much. But again, I'm really sorry about that. And I thank you for bringing it to my attention. Now anyone else that reads that chapter will have been given caution ahead of time.**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: I won't judge! ^_^ That actually sounds pretty amazing. I highly recommend Caesar Chicken wraps! (Let's just pretend I'm not allergic to chicken, m'kay?) But GIRL. Mac and Cheese? That...is a no for me. Sorray! However, I can't blame you for not liking Avocados for their sliminess. They're aight. Ahhh I see. I actually need to look into the Sherlock Holmes series of books (mhm, I went there). That was one of my favorite scenes to date. I've thought about it from time to time. The scene in this chapter that stands out the most is probably the longgg one with Haru and Mai from the leaving the rain and staying in the dorm. I disliked it at first because I thought it was ridonk! But now...its kinda grown on me a lil' bit. Don't look at me. I ain't cleanin that mess up from when you exploded ;) Tee-hee! But...she's back with him now. Are we good, fam? xD Yesiree. That, my darling is up to the reader to imagine for themselves. I left it open for interpretation, even if it was kinda obvious. I know this has become a long note to you, my beloved. But ah well! You oughta be used to that by now. This chapter was the biggest challenge next to the final chapters of Mirror, Mirror and Bruised Heart. Now excuse ME while I go and explode!**

* * *

 **See ya'll for Chapter 17: Welcome To France (Part One) Baiiiiiiiiiii :3**


	17. Chapter 17: Family Affairs

**Chapter Seventeen: Family Affairs**

I smile.

I smile so bright and big, the old me would have been weirded out - disturbed. It was all because of Haru that I just couldn't quit grinning; even the pain in my cheeks from grinning like a high chipmunk didn't deter me any. And honestly, I don't think any news - good or bad - could knock me down from cloud nine in this moment. And that was a huge deal for me.

When I arrive back to the (fortunately) empty dorm, I toss my backpack onto the bed and my eyes fall on the nightstand. My jaw goes slack as my feet drag themselves towards the surprise someone left for me. I take in the bouquet of strange items and seat myself beside my navy blue bag, smiling as I pluck a note card from its center.

 _Learning about each other_

 _One day at a time_

 _Haru_

Just when I thought I couldn't grin any more.

He arranged it so that there were napkins, a pint of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, black nail polish, and one of Ayure's simulated spoons. Rummaging deeper I found an album for FTIsland, reminding me of our first concert together, and bottle of water to represent all the times I dumped or spilled something on him. There was so much nostalgia and thought put into this one offering that I really got scared my heart would explode from all the warmth and love and affection that poured out of it.

Ah, its official. Haru is by far the best boyfriend ever. Hands down.

A sharp knock sounds from the door just as a dark green folder is slipped beneath the space between it and the floor, followed by the tell-tale receding footsteps that signaled the delivery person's exit. I snap to attention, setting the bouquet back in its rightful place, scooping up the folder and tearing it open to get the mission briefing information.

 **Mai Sohma (Agent 014), Kagura Sohma (Agent 012), and Rin Sohma (Agent 004)**

 **Intelligence Partner: N/A**

 **Mission Details: Potential hate crimes regarding foreign students at a local university. Your duty is to protect those that are receiving the aforementioned treatment and to take in any perpetrators for questioning. Elimination is expressly prohibited.**

 **Target(s): Ka Sigma Sorority; all girls are potential suspects and victims.**

 **...**

I walked in first, sashaying as my two reluctant partners followed behind me. It was awkward to say the least that I not only had Kagura to work with, but Rin as well, all things considered. Our arrangement spelled trouble in capital letters and bold. Surprisingly enough, Rin wouldn't be playing the part of the backstabbing homewrecker for this mission, though I know she could win an Oscar for that performance.

She was quite the method actress, after all.

Instead of telling her that, I throw myself into character, double-checking that my mocha crop top hugged me in the right places as we approached the white fold-able table the two Ka Sigma leaders sat at along with someone whom looked completely out of place. One looked to be a pubescent teenager, oily skin and acne, keeping her gaze pinned to the table's surface instead of giving me the once-over like the other two girls were; she was probably one of the first pledges, based on the fact she looked out of her element but was making an effort to not fidget.

The other two - the leaders, I think - were as beautiful as super models and paper dolls I used to cut out of magazines and hang up in the room of my foster home for inspiration when I was into that sort of thing. I could tell one had an hour glass figure from my newfound height, thanks to the stilettos that made me tower over all the others. It was apparent that she knew her wavy brunette hair was her best feature, exploiting it by flipping her hair over her shoulder or twirling it in time to the snaps of her bubblegum. Her friend's hazel eyes were striking and feline-like, piercing through anyone that dared step into her 'majestic' and 'superior' presence. Her blonde curls tumbled into her eyes and she had to swat them away constantly, though her bangs were pinned off to the side.

"Are you our new pledges?" The hair princess queried, flipping her tresses for emphasis.

Now was the moment my night-before preparation would come in handy, in the role of a gregarious ditz that flirted with everything male in a twenty foot radius.

I slip into an easy smile, playing with the ends of my straightened hair as I took in the pool hall we were in. "Of course. I mean...this _is_ the place to be on campus. And, like, I hear that a ton of hotties hang out here. The rumor's true, isn't it?"

Puberty girl turned twenty shades of red in two seconds, shuffling so that her feet crossed at the ankles. "H-hotties?" She squeaks, her eyes wide from behind her bifocals. "You didn't say anything about b-boys."

Blondie rolls her eyes, running a nail file along her french manicure to even them out. "Why should we have to? Its a given that any place we're at will be crawling with horny frat boys." She stills, before turning to face the girl, cocking an eyebrow. "You're not chickening out before we've even started, are you? I didn't think Americans were such losers...guess I was wrong."

I quell my temper, reminding myself to not 'accidentally' rip out her obvious extensions for her harsh words towards the girl beside her. It was my task to bring in anyone we suspected of hate crimes, but not to kill them. They made sure to let us know that wouldn't be tolerated.

Kagura takes that opportunity to step forward, slouching as she flips her lid so that it sits backwards on her head. "Who cares about dudes? The only thing I want is a good time." She looks left, then right, like she's asking for a country's top secrets. "Do you know where I can find a decent party?"

On the inside, I was applauding the girl for her acting skills. If I didn't know it, I'd think she was just a tomboy that loved to get wasted and play beer pong. She was crazy, but she was great at what she did.

"First you have to pass initiation, then there's the keggers, wet t-shirt contests, and ABC parties once you're in. Mixers suck," the blonde explained in Kagura's general direction. Her nose wrinkled as she observed the jeans we'd soiled with ketchup and some dirt last night to make her look like a slob for today's occasion. Apparently, we didn't do so bad with it.

"You," the brunette pipes up, gesturing at Rin to step forward. "You haven't said a thing and have been standing there like a total lame-o this whole time. You're not trying to join...are you?" Her nasally voice is wrapped in doubt and sarcasm that reminds me of nails on a chalkboard. I've decided that I don't like either of theses girls. I didn't really have an opinion of the other one.

Rin rubs her arm, staring at her basic white keds, and gnawing on her lip like she was the shy and nervous one, unused to this much attention. "Y-yes...I mean...if that's okay with you?" She sniffles a little, her arms folding over her chest to shield her body from scrutiny and criticism.

The blonde snarls, snatching up three _Hello my name is..._ stickers and three different color sharpies before handing them to us. "Write your little names in the blank space and stick them to the front of your shirt or pants," she commands, her gaze falling to Rin's pencil skirt. "Or whatever you're wearing," she amends, moving her curls out her eyes again.

"I'm sorry, for not introducing myself earlier," Rin says, not bothering to look away from her choice of footwear. "I-"

"-Save your breath," the blonde cuts in with a sigh. "My name's Kei, even though I don't know why I'm telling you when you can read. At least, I hope you can," she snarks, glancing pointedly at me.

The brunette shrugs, tapping her bright pink nails along the table's surface. "Sora. That one," she says, pointing her thumb at the girl overwhelmed with social interaction. "We're working on a nickname for her. All of our pledges are given nicknames until they survive our initiation. Anyone worth their salt will pass and eventually earn the right to be called by their real name. To you, she's Wallflower until we come up with something better."

I giggle, pretending to be amused by the insulting sobriquet. "That, like, fits her _so_ well. Oh-em-gosh! Does this mean we'll be sorority sisters? Oh..." my expression falls and I draw my glossy lips up into a pout. "Does that mean we'll get that awful nickname, sor-whores? That's totally not cute."

Kei plows onward, like I didn't say anything else, "Meet us in dorm 501A for initiation at eleven pm. Anyone late or anyone that doesn't show up has no chance of joining with Ka Sigma. Deuces, sluts," she holds up a manicured hand in salutation, stalking over to the vending machine for a diet pepsi.

Sora saunters out the double doors, her exit undramatic but not complete without her tossing her hair back, before being whisked around by the wind outside.

As soon as 'Wallflower' runs off, I round on Kagura and Rin, relieved to step out of character for a few minutes. "We have a lot to do before eleven; we need to interview those that were rejected by Ka Sigma and any other hopeful pledges we manage to round up."

Kagura snorts. "Remind me of why we're listening to you again?"

What a disappointment. I was certain she'd call me the 'cheap hussy with the split-ends and ringlets' like our last mission together; when we were in a band together.

"Because she was chosen as leader for the mission," Rin spits out, bitterly. "Remember that for tonight. Who knows what kind of crap they're gonna make us do."

The boar sighs, stomping her foot before reigning in her attitude. " _Fine_. Where do you want us to start?"

...

"This is _so_ lit!" I exclaim, batting my false eyelashes as we're surrounded by the two other pledges and the leaders of Ka Sigma themselves. Or, as I affectionately call them... the Trifling Duo. I'd changed into a form-fitting sheath dress, only coming up to my mid-thigh, though I wore shorts underneath in case I had to throw down tonight.

"This is mad cool," Kagura quips, looking like she was about to gag as the smell of roasted pig wafted over from a nearby buffet table.

Dorm 501A was extravagantly decorated. Fairy lights dangled from the ceiling, twinkling and casting shapes over the fuzzy aqua colored carpet. Of course, there was the spread they had consisting of just about every zodiac except the fox and domestic animals (thank goodness). There was something highly disturbing about eating your kind. I could only guess there were walls beneath all the posters and photographs from floor to ceiling, because I couldn't see them. What I did find odd was the fact that the girls were all gathered around a single computer and a webcam. Just what _were_ they planning to do?

"Alright, ladies," Sora proclaims, standing on top of a cluttered bed. "Now is your one and only, exclusive chance to be a Ka Sigma Beauty."

We all clap in a symphony of polite and stiff, ceasing when she clears her throat to continue speaking.

"To be accepted and stripped of your nicknames - Airhead, Geek-Of-The-Week, Party Bimbo, Wallflower, Itsy Bitsy Tipsy , and Leprechaun - you will be putting on your very own strip show for our fellow fraternity; Ka Alpha Si.

Confused and concerned murmurs overlap, along with the footsteps of one pledge as she fled out the door. Rin, Kagura, and I (a.k.a. Geek-Of-The-Week, Party Bimbo, and Airhead) exchange a glance, sharing an unspoken conversation. Its obvious we'll have to stay to get the scoop on who's doing the hate crimes and who's getting hated on. Rin shrugged as if to say she'll do whatever it takes, but Kagura looked set in her decision to back out before a single piece of her clothes would come off. As leader, I should take the initiative to volunteer and go first to ease suspicion, or to hang back so as not to look too eager and appear even _more_ sketchy. Thankfully, 'Itsy Bitsy Tipsy ' spoke up so that I didn't have to.

"I'll go," she slurs, taking a swig of her booze before slipping her skirt down her legs.

"Not there," Kei groans, jabbing an index finger at the computer screen. "Do it in front of the cam, wino. How else are they supposed to see you?"

She burps, staggering over to take center in front of four men huddled around their own computer. They all looked to be in their early 20's, probably third years at the university, chugging their beer and crowing as Itsy Bitsy Tipsy dances around, drunkenly swaying to a song playing on a nearby stereo.

"Let's see if you've got anything worth bragging about, white girl," Kei says with her thick Japanese accent, snickering when the girl trips over her discarded underwear, and crashes to the floor.

She and Sora high-five one another, performing a hand shake that only Ka Sigma girls seem to know, laughing as the poor girl tries to roll up into a seated position but failing miserably. Rin elbows me in the ribs, nodding her head at me. I give her the signal and she gradually maneuvers to get a closer look at the computer screen, while I think of a possible diversion strategy that could get the other girls out of the room, long enough for us to investigate them.

An opening is created for me when a girl pops her head into the door, her eyes practically bulging out of her skull. "Guys! The RA is headed this way. Hurry!" Their lookout ducks out again to stall and buy them some time, leaving Kei and Sora to scramble about, closing out of the window and hiding the webcam.

"We'll finish this later. Its every slut for themselves," Kei announces, crawling out the window and onto the fire escape with Sora in tow. The remainder of girls run out into the hallway and scatter in different directions, Itsy Bitsy Tipsy bringing up the rear slowly. The Residential Adviser spots her and tackles her to the ground, even though I'm sure they aren't supposed to apprehend anyone.

"We need to get you downstairs for a breathalyzer test, stat."

Kagura and Rin begin searching underneath the bed and in the dressers after closing the door, as I plop down at the computer desk and try to crack the password on the computer. It just had to have a screen saver that made it lock out, giving me more work.

"What should I try for a password?" I call out, hoping one of them had any ideas.

"Password," Rin says, dryly.

I try it, only for it to say that it was incorrect. "Nope. Anything else?"

"Ka Sigma," she answers.

I type it into the login bar.

"Nope."

"Kyo!" Kagura shouts, pumping a fist into the air.

Rin and I roll our eyes in unison, before running through a list of all common passwords.

It wasn't either of their names, or the university's, their boyfriends', and it wasn't even 'slut' which had been thrown around a lot today. Rin exhales through her nose, shoving me aside and taking control of the keyboard. She begins clacking away at the glowing pink and green keys, gaining access on the first try.

I stand there, bewildered. "What password was it?"

"I don't know," she drawls, clicking through a couple of screens to search through the internal hard drive. "I'm also a hacker, so I do jobs with Intel from time to time."

If I could slap her...I would. I'd slap her so hard across the face for wasting my time like that!

"Ah, here we go," she mumbles, drawing my attention back to the screen. "Pretty stupid of them to label files under each of our nicknames, though I suppose its kind of innovative because it keeps outsiders from knowing who they belong to."

I peek over her shoulder, grabbing the mouse and looking through the one called 'Itsy Bitsy Tipsy,' to see tonight's video already archived in its embarrassing glory. There were fifteen others, all belonging to Americans that gave away their dignity, just to become members of the Ka Sigma sorority.

"I'm thinking blackmail." I insert a retractable flash drive into the computer, copying and pasting the files after its installed. "We could be looking at the beginnings of hate crimes involving porn and whatever else they could be planning."

"What do we do now?" Kagura huffs, planting her hands on her hips.

Rin removes the flash drive once the process is complete, handing it to me and starting for the door. "Now...we take them in."

...

 **To Mai,**

 **As you know, your father and I met long ago and you weren't born at a time either of us would have preferred. We weren't able to financially support ourselves, let alone support you, and we both had our own personal struggles with high school and family drama. It only worsened when your father decided to enlist only a year or two after I had you, and I was left to take care of an infant without the help of my mom or dad. They decided that if I was old enough to get "knocked up" then I was surely of age to take care of myself and you while your father was overseas. And for a time, we survived. Your father sent regular checks from the time he was serving and I held down a job while taking night business classes. When you were five the going got rough and I wasn't strong enough to handle it. I received that dreadful knock on my door, informed of your father's death, while bills were piled high enough to touch the ceiling. But by that point, I'd already made the decision to leave you on someone's doorstep. Having done some looking into your background, I found out that the people I'd initially left you with had turned you away and you had to fend for yourself until you were twelve, on the streets alone. I will apologize for that, because it wasn't my intention for my now estranged cousins to not take you in. They were living better than I was at the time and I thought it would be the best thing for you and for me. It just didn't work out that way. If you are ever in need of attention and care, you should contact my sister over in Hong Kong. She's a fashion stylist and has always wanted a child but is unable to have her own. I imagine she won't mind your company one bit. Thank you for agreeing to keep silent about your relations to me, I've already sent your hush money in the mail and you'll be getting more next month.**

 **Ta-Ta Darling,**

 **Maho Kagome**

...

I decide to walk home so that I can give myself time to weigh the decision of whether I should or shouldn't accept the Hashirama's offer. They already feel like family; they welcome me and spend time with me without question; I consider the pub to be my second home and it always brings me comfort when I go there for a malt or coffee or conversation. But then...there's my mother. Yes, she's chosen to distance herself from me outside of e-mails and cash in envelopes. But I also have to remember that she's my biological mother, the same woman I came from. They say that blood is thicker than water, but family doesn't have to be blood relative to be family.

Aish. It was all so confusing.

The vibrations of the cell phone tucked into the pocket of my bomber jacket rattles my maze of thought, pulling my attention to the unknown caller ID as I put it to my ear.

"Hello?"

...

Yuki splashes his pale face with water in an attempt to snap out of the flashbacks he finds himself in from his damaged childhood. He isn't given more than five minutes to collect himself before being ushered into interrogation and assigned one of Ryu's associates for questioning.

Several tools of torture sat on a table, like there was nothing out of the ordinary about it; breast rippers, parillas, thumbscrews, tongue shredders, boiling hot water, manceurda, and on the list went.

The screams of frustration and agony drape the otherwise silent holding area, the result of someone under the influence of Chinese Water torture. Yuki hadn't performed that one before, but he'd been trained in all methods of antagonizing victims. A bucket of water would be suspended over the head of the victim, water droplets dripping slowly onto their forehead for hours and hours on end, leaving them to hear and feel nothing but the irritating pitter-patter.

But that wasn't what Yuki would be doing today, and based on the perp's case file, he wouldn't be playing nice or only taking the psyche out route. Today he would be getting physical; pulling teeth, electrocuting, drowning...whatever would get the point across and get the answers out was required.

Tobu Nakayoma, an associate of Japan's Most Wanted criminal Ryu Kashima, was brought in for questioning on his boss' whereabouts and plans of action. Ryu had a whopping price on his head of 1.5 billion, charged with crimes the length of his arms; extortion, embezzlement, murder, automobile theft, perjury, arson, and tax evasion. It was once a mystery as to how he managed to escape the death penalty, but that answer was shortly found in the twelve passports and five facial reconstructions from the times he went under the knife. It was because he changed his name and appearance so often that he was nearly impossible to track down, unless you found his right hand man and demanded answers at any cost.

He was currently bound to an iron maiden chair, hands restrained behind his back with zip ties, while his feet were shackled to the floor. No one let him sleep. They forced him to remain awake for the previous 48 hours prior to interrogation, stringing him up so that he hung upside down for an hour each time he dozed off. None of this information brought Yuki any solace or comfort, even though Nakayoma would most likely be weaker and hopefully more cooperative than he was two days ago. But it didn't change how rapidly Yuki's heart beat against his chest, seeking refuge from its confines of anxiety, as he entered the room Nakayoma was sitting.

His head was half shaven, the evidence of it swept under the rug beneath his imprisoned feet. His right ear had a deep gash that ran from the lobe to the cartilage, pronounced with the month-old tragus piercing. Yuki's blucher oxfords tap and tap and tap as his leg bounces up and down in time to the rhythm. This was it, his first solo question and answer. If he didn't get it together for a job as big as this, he'd be kicked out of the agency faster than he could say Sohma.

"Hello," he squeaks, his voice comes out soft and weak. "Do you know why you're here?"

Nakayoma snorts and conjures up spit, hocking a loogie a millimeter away from Yuki's feet. His eyes are bloodshot and crusty along the edges as his gaze lands on the wimp they brought in this time. In his opinion, he didn't look like much. He was like a skinny rat, trying to get leftovers; guess the agency stopped trying if they selected this guy.

"I'm here to kill you. Does that answer your question?" He snarls, shifting in his seat as the amount of time he's spent sitting there finally starts taking effect.

Yuki breathes in deep, releasing his breath along with his tension. Here, he could take on a different persona. Here, he didn't have to be Yuki...maybe he needed an alter ego of sorts, so he could separate the good in him from the bad that was craving escape to be loosed on the man before him.

The rat spins a nearby chair around, sitting in it improperly, swinging his leg over so that he was facing his adversary from the backwards chair. He loosens the tie he spent fifteen minutes choosing this morning, casting it aside and undoing the buttons of his collar, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. The time on the clock hanging from the wall ticks down the seconds and the minutes as Nakayama looks on in skepticism.

"I need to know some things," he states, masking his tone in venom and something more deadly. "And you will tell me what I want to know."

Nakayoma snorts dubiously, jostling his chains. "Nice try, weakling. It won't work. I've already been beaten, threatened, hung upside down, and lynched. There's nothing _you_ could possibly do to break me."

This time, Yuki - or his 'alter ego', rather - laughs darkly, rising to his feet and sauntering towards him at a snail's pace. He drops to his haunches, latching a hand on Nakayoma's belt buckle and smirking in satisfaction when he receives a surprised reaction.

"You really think that? Tsk, tsk, tsk...you have _no_ idea of what I'm capable of." His eyebrows knit together as he concentrates his focus on undoing the belt and tossing it across the room, dragging his pants down until it hangs loosely around his ankles. "Do you know what its like to be touched when you don't want to be?"

The man's green eyes narrow into slits, his bloody and torn lips twisted into a grimace as Yuki trails an index finger along the hem of his underwear.

"I know it well. At first, you hate it. You'd do just about anything to make it stop. You hear the sounds of women moaning as you give them what they ask and you wonder if they're in pain. But really, they're pleasured...they enjoy every last second of it like the sick creatures they are," his words leak out in a hiss, like air forced out of tires.

Amethyst falls upon the underwear before looking elsewhere in disgust, the owner relinquishing his hold on the lowlife to pace around the room, not offering up any explanation as to what he was planning to do. He cracks his knuckles, each and every last one so that the room fills with pops of air being released from his hands while he ponders the next step. While he could show him what true pain was and give him what those women did...he didn't really feel like risking contracting whatever that man had. Not to mention that even when he dropped this countenance of his, he'd be left with the memories of it.

Switching tactics at the drop of a hat, Yuki rushes forward and snatches the man's zip tied hands, running his own freezing cold fingers up and down like a silent barb. "But enough about my youth. Let's talk how _lovely_ your hands are and the wonderful noises they'd make."

"What do you mean by that?" He grits out, gruffly.

Yuki shrugs, bending the man's index and middle finger all the way back for expletives to fill the hollow space of the interrogation room. "I'm talking about the sounds of fingers breaking. They do remind me of home, after all. You'll have to excuse my nostalgic mood."

Five long hours later, Yuki left the vicinity, blood splattering his cheeks and plastering his hair to his ears. His eyes were unseeing as he was given encouraging claps on the shoulder and compliments for a job well done; he'd even be getting an accommodation the following Monday for finally getting the last known location out of Ryu's crony. But all he is aware of is the evil he'd committed with that man. The bag of Nakayoma's teeth was nestled in his pocket, harshly extracted, along with the tragus piercing that had been forcibly removed. A cleanup team had already been dispatched to mop up the blood left behind, and another to carry him out in a black bag.

And Yuki walks away.

But he wouldn't return for another two weeks after.

...

My mom...

No. That didn't sound quite right.

Maho Kagome?

No, that's still wrong.

My _mother_.

Yes...my mother is in the hospital. She had a stroke at work and I'm her only emergency contact. Me. Someone she disowned and someone that acted like a shark with how often she bribed me with money. She was the one that told the hospital to call me if anything ever went wrong, right before she couldn't form coherent sentences at all. And for some reason I couldn't understand, I was shaking. I was trembling in fear of what condition I'd see her in once they gave the go-ahead for visitors. My legs threatened to give out beneath me, even though Tohru and Mimi and Foxy were all here with me as my support system. This was the very same hospital I'd interned at, so I was able to weasel my way into getting more visitors to go with me than was normally acceptable. But it didn't take away from the death the halls reeked with, followed by antiseptics and hand sanitizers.

Once I step inside, its like a whole other dimension separate from the rest of the hospital. Its even a different temperature, fifty degrees and counting. The woman lying on the bed before me is nothing like the firecracker that I've come to know. The stroke had extinguished the fire that normally raged through her veins, leaving her to be nothing more than a patient, in a hospital, unable to convey anything they were thinking. It was a minor one, but one the doctors suggested I help her through. Books at a first and second grade level covered her bedside table, while she watched a kid's show on her tablet with subtitles, so that she could practice forming words.

I sit in the only chair, the other girls standing in the corner of the room in silence as The Backyardigans plays in the background. My mother doesn't acknowledge me, or the company I brought, regardless of the fact she knew we were there. The press was just outside the window, waiting like vultures to get the 411 on what would become of my mother and her company. All I was interested in was the former.

I only wanted to know about what would become of her.

...

The first thing I notice when I get back from the hospital and see Haru waiting for me in my dorm is that he's completely oblivious to the situation. He's smiling like the world was going his way, a handful of dark purple roses clutched in a tight fist having been stripped of its thorns. Rather than perk up, I wilt further as I close the door behind me and flop down on my unmade bed. If he didn't know about my mother, that meant the explaining would fall on my shoulders. That prospect alone was far too depressing to think about. I rest my chin on my folded arms, staring at the carpet until Haru's face swoops into view, upside down from him laying where I was once looking. He must pick up on my foul mood because his eyebrows pinch together in that way that tells me he's either deep in thought or trying to figure something out. I reach a hand out and use my thumb to soothe away the crease between his eyebrows, encouraging him to smile for me again. I knew I'd have to tell him, but his smile was rare to others and precious to me; it always managed to brighten the darkest days.

He takes the hint and manages a small grin, removing my hand from his forehead for him to bring to his lips, the tiny puffs of his breath causing my fingertips to tingle, right before he weaves our hands together. His face begins to blur behind the veil of teardrops forming in my eyes, my vision clearing just as one falls like rain to splash against his cheek, and his stormy eyes take on that edge that promised a category three hurricane.

Haru sits up then, jumping to his feet and making his way to my bed. I bury my face into my forearms, because I didn't want him to see me cry. I knew he was aware that I was, but I...I didn't want him to actually watch as my face scrunched up in that way that I hated so much; or the way my skin grew red and blotchy because of how stubbornly I fought against any emotions that fell in the negative. But he mimics my position, right beside me, rubbing circles into my back to ease the aching in my head and in my heart. He doesn't even have to know what's wrong to know when something is. I used to be bothered by how perceptive he was, but now I was thankful for it. Because little by little I was becoming more and more human, allowing myself to be more sensitive and for my heart to soften to the downsides of life. Before, I just pushed it all away. But he changed that. I don't know how, but he did.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, breaking the silence for the first time since I arrived.

I lift my head, gathering a huge breath into lungs that feel heavy like lead, before swiping at the river streaming down my cheeks. "My mom had a stroke, Haru. But...I can't bring myself to be happy about it, even with how she gave me the cold shoulder and abandoned me when I was younger. I feel...I feel this deep pain in my chest when I think about what happened instead of the levity I would expect I'd have."

He nods in understanding, his hands ceasing in their circles and ellipses, moving down to my waist to pull me against him and welcome me in his warmth. "How's she doing?"

I sigh and let my head fall against his shoulder for support, allowing my eyes to slip closed. "She has something called expressive aphasia. Its fancy medical jargon stating that she has trouble recalling the right names for things. She knows what it is in her head but has a hard time verbalizing it."

I pause.

"I visited her with Tohru, Foxy, and Mimi...but I kind of want to take my mind off it."

"What were you considering, then?" He asks, kissing the temple of my forehead.

I just lean into him, wanting nothing more than to forget my troubles in him than to do anything else. "Nap, I guess. If I sleep through the rest of today, maybe I won't feel like such crap after I wake up."

And it wasn't a lie; this whole ordeal has drained me of my energy and my temper. I wasn't up to doing anything but staying here with him, even after I finally manage to go to sleep. But apparently, he had better things in mind for us to do than have a lazy day in bed.

"I have an idea," he begins, in a low voice that makes suspicion coil in my gut, "but you'll probably question my sanity when I tell you."

I snort, rubbing my presumably red eyes. "I already do, but tell me anyways."

His thumb begins emulating the circles from before, at the point between my ribs and where the top of my Bordeaux red gather skirt met. I wouldn't be surprised if he were tempted to tickle me as to why he was doing that, because he _knows_ what a spaz I am when he does.

"What if I told you that I wanted to spend the rest of today doing childish things? How's that sound?"

I lean back just enough that I can check his expression, gauging just how serious he was or wasn't. But dangit! He was wearing that irritating mask of his that made his emotions unreadable.

"I would wonder if you got hit by a bus on your way over here," I deadpan, retaliating for him concealing his feelings.

His gaze drops to his rings as he twirls the one on his thumb, as if trying to choose his words carefully before speaking again. "Just...hear me out. We've both never had an actual childhood or anything. My parents left me at a young age and I became a child to the agency. You didn't know your parents and you spent most of the time working on becoming an agent." He bites his lip for a second before releasing it, his eyes shifting to a lighter shade. "To take your mind off of things, I wanted to know if you'd want to do the things we never had the chance to."

Huh. It _was_ an interesting idea, I'll give him that. But did I want to live out the childhood I never had? I don't know...wouldn't I feel bitter about it because I hadn't experienced those things in the first place?

Instead of voicing this, I run the palm of my hand along his forearm to stop his nervous habit of spinning the ring on his thumb, as I meet his eyes. "You mean like building a fort or something? Making smores?"

He bobs his head, his lips slipping into a smirk. "Yup. I think you'd look cute in a onesie. If we have a sleepover, that is." he teases, nipping at my earlobe, retreating just before I can flick him in the forehead for that remark.

I expel a large breath, rolling my eyes as if being put upon. " _Fine_. I suppose we can. But I refuse to wear a onesie...its not happening."

He shrugs in concession, not seeming to really care one way or another. "Ok. But I was looking forward to seeing you dressed up like a fox. I guess life isn't always fair."

Needless to say, I slugged him in the shoulder and skirted off to the bathroom before he could actually try and get back at me with tickling.

...

Mai and I spent the next hour grouping blankets and chairs that we could find, building a fort right in the middle of her room. At the start I was too distracted by the thought of Rin showing herself to really enjoy the setup. I almost suggested that we go to my room instead, but after what happened with her and Yuki I figured it wouldn't be the brightest idea that's crossed my mind.

We turned out all the lights, only using flashlights under the cavern of our comforters (I went back to get mine) and I helped her stack our pillows up so that she could be comfortable. I couldn't stand to see the frown on her lips so I tried to kiss it away. Again and again. I've always hated to see her upset or lost or broken, and today she looked to be all of those things. When I manage to steal her soft lips a third time, I feel her scowl give way to a beautiful upward tilt that meant she was grinning. I feel a sensation begin to form in my core, something that always surfaced when her pretty eyes looked at me like I was just one person; the same amber eyes that only _saw_ one person.

I feel reluctant to leave, but I have to in order to stop by the commercial kitchen for the ingredients we'd need for the treat I had planned. So with one final peck to the cheek, I take my temporary leave, walking at a faster pace than I bothered to for anyone else. This time I kept myself focused on my task instead of wandering or dragging my feet. When I get back, she's stretched out on her stomach, flipping through the pages of a dog-eared book I caught her reading from time to time. She told me it was a sci-fi book and that she was really into them, something I never knew or expected from someone like her. It never failed to puzzle me that she always, _always_ read the very last page of every story before turning to page one. Maybe I'd ask her about it one day. But today, I wanted to see her reaction when she tries her very first root beer float.

She glances up at me, cocking her head to the side as she takes in the pint of vanilla ice cream (chocolate for me) and bottle of root beer, her eyes narrowing as if calculating and making connections of what those two ingredients could mean.

"We're making our own root beer floats," I answer, before she has the chance to ask. "Want to?"

She lays the book on its face so that its bind is pointing upward, sitting cross-legged as she lights up like a child learning to ride their bike for the first time. Now that I think about it... _did_ she know how to ride a bike?

Instead of waiting for my instructions, she grabs for the pint of chocolate - much to my surprise - and the ice cream scooper, shoveling three spoonfuls of my favorite flavor into the rounded glass. I remain frozen in place, watching her pour a heap of root beer over the chocolate as her eyes widen to impossible sizes. She somehow looks more like a puppy instead of a fox as she looks on in awe of the way her ice cream bubbles and the soda settles to the bottom like sand.

I begin making my own cup, going for the vanilla; because she decided to use my flavor, I went with hers. "Did you find an interest in chocolate when I wasn't looking?"

She laughs, sticking a straw into the mound of ice cream floating on a sea of froth. "I'm conducting an experiment. It's called: why does Moo Man like fudge so much? Its still a working title."

I smile, helpless against the affect her laughter has over me but not really minding it. "In that case, I'll try vanilla again so that I can try to see why you're so fond of it. Who knows? Maybe I'll never understand."

We carry on in our light conversation. Even the lulls and quiet is comfortable and familiar, as I take a seat beside her and purposefully brush my shoulder against hers and she contentedly sips from her candy cane straw. I look over at her until her eyes latch onto mine, challenge filling the caramel flecks. "Let's see who can make their drink bubble the most. Are you man enough to try me?"

I scoff, setting my shoulders back and puffing out my chest. "You're on."

She raises a hand, counting down with three fingers to signal the start of our contest. I blow into the straw, causing bubbles to spawn and the vanilla to gurgle like a pot of hot water, refusing to be the loser. In my opinion, everyone in a relationship should have a healthy amount of competition. It started out with challenging Yuki to a fight, then to stupid Kyo, and now Mai. It never hurt to see who could punch the hardest or make the most bubbles...now that I'm thinking that, I realize how emasculating that last part was.

But when she giggles it makes forfeiting my man card worth it. The sound commands warmth to spread through my chest as the smallest candle's flame returns to the eyes I was fascinated with, burning brightly and growing as our contest draws to a close.

"Looks like I win," she purrs, light dancing in her eyes. "What's my prize?"

I collect both of our glasses in one hand, stashing them somewhere off to the side as I try not to sulk and let her know that I was a closeted sore loser. "I'll give you free piggy back rides for a day."

"A month," she counters, folding her arms.

I give a dry laugh. "Three days."

"A week."

"Two days," I wager, deciding that was the most I would be willing to do.

She sticks her lip out, tucking her legs beneath her. "That's not fair, you went down. You're supposed to make me a fair offer."

I hold my palms up, shrugging my shoulders in mock apathy. "Sorry doll face, but that's not the way it works with me. And there's nothing you can do to make me reconsider."

Her eyebrow raises, daringly. "Are you _challenging_ me? After I just whupped you?" She shakes her head, incredulous. "You're either really ambitious or crazy."

"I like to think I'm sane enough. Besides, I'm being serious. No amount of pouting or glaring or punching or flicking me in the forehead will get me to change my mind."

In truth, I didn't really believe that. Poor at losing gracefully as I was, I was goading her on to see just what she would do if she chose to rise to the challenge of convincing me of something. I was never one of those guys that forced their girl into sleeping with them or giving oral (personally, I not only found it abusive and wrong, but degrading too), but I _was_ the type to tease and taunt on days I wasn't lazy.

Before I know what's happening, she pulls out a metallic tube that I recognize to be lipstick. I just didn't know what she was doing with it or where she got it from. She uncaps it, revealing a deep shade of red, like candy apples or something. She purses her lips, sweeping it along the bottom and smacking her lips together to get it evenly applied. She never tears her gaze from mine the entire time as she does it, like she was trying to...trying to...

Seduce me?

No. She was trying to sway my decision of how long I'd be giving her piggy back rides.

Where did she learn that? Do they teach her _that_ in assassin elites? But why would they...?

After she stows away that sexy shade of lipstick, into the bag behind her pillow, she scoots over so that her bare knee connects with mine and she leans in, tilting her neck so that I catch a whiff of sandalwood and vanilla. Even though I didn't like to eat vanilla anything, that was the scent _proven_ to be capable of driving men crazy. Even though she _did_ smell like the ocean and I'd always loved breathing it in, my will is still as strong as the ox I was cursed with, and a little spritz of some overrated aroma wasn't going to make me lose control. Of course...that's the moment I get cocky. I hadn't been prepared for her to undo the strings holding her halter thing together, and letting it collapse as the straps glide down her shoulders. At least, I _think_ that's what she did. I covered my eyes out of the sake of her modesty and hadn't seen a thing.

She breaks off my concern with triumphant laughter, and I splay my fingers so that I can peer through them and get a face full of a blushing but apparently successful Mai, at my expense.

"You didn't really think I'd flash you...did you, Hatsuharu?" She drawls, sweeping her hands up her arms in a way that makes me swallow, trying to remedy how dry my throat had become. She made it so hard to keep myself from kissing her into oblivion during moments like these; even when she was making fun of me - scratch that. _Especially_ when she made fun of me. And I usually loathed being made a fool by anyone. Anyone except her.

Is that what it means to love again?

Or to love for the first time?

She eventually calms down and the amusement subsides a little, when she grabs my hand and leads me out of the safe-haven-turned-comedy-club, and into the of corridor the dormitory. I just let her drag me along, because she's beaming like my name was written all over her and I couldn't resist her.

"Come on," she coaxes, her lips twitching in an attempt to smother her smile. "Now its my turn to pick what we do next."

I cant my head to the side. "Where to?"

She faces forward again, right when we've stepped out into the setting sunlight. "A playground. Should be fun."

...

What do I think of when I hear the word playground?

Scraped knees. Screeching children. Maybe a hint of whimsicality.

But what do I get?

Blisters on my hands from my monkey bar competition with Haru; only instead of seeing who could get across in record time, we both climbed the ladders on opposite sides, trying to figure out who could hold on the longest. And you know me...I can never pass up a test of endurance. Or speed. Or strength. Or target firing. I'm almost too competitive for my own good.

Sweat began to slick across the tops of my shoulders as I stared down my boyfriend, feeling my lip curl up into a snarl at the fact that he wasn't sweating. Like...who doesn't sweat? He didn't even look phased about hanging from a rusty, chipped and faded paint bar that dug into your palms like you went after its child. If I didn't know any better, I'd believe Haru just left his home, cool and comfortable. The only time I've ever seen him crack under pressure where it didn't entirely involve me was on that train mission. With a bomb. Ever since...he's had the most infuriating poker face I've ever seen. And I envied him for it.

A breeze trickles through the nearly empty playground, rocking the teeter-totter that was planted into the mulch as a bead of sweat from my forehead lands on the ground, darkening the mulch prison that awaited my inevitable fall. By the time the blister on my hand opens and I feel the chafing of a burning sensation, I release the dumb thing and close my eyes, expecting to have the wind knocked out of me when gravity finally had its way with me. But that never happens. Instead, I find myself pressed against Haru's chest, my legs entangled in his from our place on the bristly floor. When my eyes flutter open, I'm hit with the realization that he took the brunt of the impact, having abandoned his place on the monkey bars. For some reason, I'd forgotten how fast he really was; his speed defied all logic and reason.

"Are you..." he rasps, clearing his throat. "...are you okay?"

His voice resonates in my ears as it rumbles through his chest. I shake my head in disbelief, never failing to marvel at how protective and considerate he was of me.

"You're asking if I'm ok and you're the one that took the hit?" I click my tongue at him, my eyebrows drawing together as a manifestation of my concern. "Don't be ridiculous, Haru. I'm fine. And-"

He winces slightly, like he's waiting for me to swing on him for being such a sensitive and caring person.

"-thank you," I finish, dipping so that my lips brush against his, seconds before I'm on my feet and helping him to his. I dust the pesky pieces of mulch from my skirt and make slow strides for the only swing still operating at this abandoned park. "I'm sure you made Ritsu proud, mastering the monkey bars and all."

He chuckles, even his laughter sounding husky in comparison to how winded my voice came out from the fall that didn't happen. The wind continues to chill the sweat that coated my forehead, and I hope and pray that there's not a stench that follows my little cool down session. Haru doesn't seem to notice - or is wise enough to not comment on it - and he removes his favorite leather jacket, throwing it over the seat of the swing so that I don't have to sit in dirt or whatever those mystery stains are.

Ha! Take that all of you that say chivalry is dead. Men like him didn't only exist in fiction; he was proof of that. After I assume my place on his jacket, he grips the worn chains in his hands, taking several steps backward before giving me a grand push that sends me careening up to the moon. The sun was still up for another half hour or so, but the moon was already in the sky, ready to resume its place for the night. As I am propelled backward by momentum and he sends me forward again, nocturnal birds begin to make their presence known with calls and chirps. The motion of the swing is calming and freeing; its a perfect end to a day that started out so badly.

Only...it's not really the end of it.

...

He drives us to a location that at first glance, looks like nothing more than your average beach thirty-five miles out. Only this one had a dock attached to it, with a boat waiting to take us to a private island that's not too far from the coast. I thought that would be the main event, but it wasn't...the waterfall was.

It shimmered its way down, sprinkled with the light of the moon, glittering as fireflies flocked to it like moths of a flame, dancing in mesmerizing formations. But the water was dark and daunting in that its depth was a mystery, right along with what life might be lurking beneath its surface. Its seconds before Haru strips off his t-shirt, pants, and boots, until he's down to his boxers and he plunges into the abyss beneath the waterfall. A shriek explodes from my lips as I run across slippery rock to the point he jumped off and into the water.

 _Where is he? Where is he? Where the heck is he?!_

Scared out of my mind, I cannonball into the water, promising to myself over and over that as soon as I made sure he was alive...

I'd kill him.

I'd take him out for making me freak out like that.

When I finally notice legs dangling from above, I use the bottom to spring myself upwards, spluttering when I resurface next to an amused Haru. He was wise to not laugh or do more than crack a smile. His days were already numbered as it was.

He bites his fist when he drinks me in, my hair loose from its binds and cascading over my shoulders in waves. He stares at me like I'm a siren, seducing men with their song, enrapturing others with the voice and the beauty of a face that could sink a thousand ships. Its funny, I thought I resembled a yowling cat drenched from the rain. I wrap my arms around the only anchor I have, clinging to him as the chaos of animals and chirps of grasshoppers sounded from unknown places. He must feel how nervous and angry I am because he tilts my chin with his finger, leaving me no choice but not to look into those...smoky grey eyes. And, well...

Its my weakness, okay! I'd rather die before telling him that, though. He'd never let me forget the day I let that come out.

His other hand rose from the water, coming up so that both hands cupped my cheeks and his smirk fell away for a tender smile to take its place. I instinctively lick my lips, like I always did when his lips parted and his eyes darkened. My hips are driven forward to connect fully against his and he moves in, like he intended to kiss me, and I close my eyes because it feels like he will.

But he changes direction at the last second, nuzzling my cheek before drawing back and smiling like he got his revenge for my strip tease trick from before. You make him think you'll flash him _one_ time and afterward, he decides to mess with you. So rude. Either way, I don't let his teasing get to me. Instead, I take the lead and make our lips collide, throwing my arms around his neck and leaning my full weight into him. He readjusts himself to support the two of us in six feet of water, aware of the fact that he's the only reason I'm able to survive in water that normally goes over my head. And when his tongue pushes past my lips, my head spins like a carousel, to a tune that only exists in the back of my subconscious as I reciprocate.

We both push apart at the same moment, completely in synch, and I rest my head on his shoulder as I sag under the weight of burdens and exhaustion from the almost forgotten events of this morning. An idea tickles the back of my head until I cater to it, the only way I can possibly not remember - for just another hour or so - what happened today.

"Will you tell me?" I begin to ask, lifting my head and locking my gaze with his again, "About the mission? I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you the first time and give you what you needed. But I'm ready now." I bow my head, staring dazedly at my body fused to his, no longer sure of where he started and where I began.

For the first time, when an inquiry leaves my lips...he looks apprehensive.

Anxious, even.

"Which mission?" His words come out monotone, though there's an underlying strain to his inflection that makes my pulse jump.

"The one you and Rin went on. Its infamous...what other mission could I be talking about?"

He exhales in relief, his hands roaming up my waist until he's holding me in place. "Right, that one," he charges on, ignoring my second question. "I think that's a story for another time when I'm not trying to lift your spirits after the day you've had."

I nod, biting my lip to keep from pressing it further, and I go back to laying my head on him and allowing myself to close my eyes again. I'd leave the conversation alone, because I respect his privacy and hope that one day there won't have to be any secrets between us at all.

Including what that _other_ mission could be.

...

I make my way downtown towards the shopping district, originally planning on buying the new necklace I promised Mai. But I was unable to meet anyone's eyes, guilt does that to you.

I shove my hands deeply into my pockets, trudging into an upscale jewelry store in search of a garnet gemstone. I figured she wouldn't want anything that looked too much like the old one, and red seemed to be safe if some of her outfits were anything to go by.

The approaching footsteps of the store's owner yanks my attention in their direction, waiting boredly for her to ask me 'how she could be of service today.'

But I look at her and I realize what a grave error it was choosing this particular store. Because she wasn't just any owner of a store. Crap. She wasn't even a businesswoman by any stretch of the imagination. What was **she** doing here?

"Hello Haru," she croaks, smoothing out the flyaway strands of her hair.

"What do you want, mother?"

* * *

 **I didn't mention it before. But, here's a full list of the agents and their corresponding numbers.**

 **Agent 001 (Kureno Sohma)** **Agent 002 (Ritsu Sohma)** **Agent 003 (Shigure Sohma)** **Agent 004 (Rin Sohma)**

 **Agent 005 (Hatsuharu Sohma)** **Agent 006 (Hiro Sohma)** **Agent 007 (Kisa Sohma)**

 **Agent 008 (Hatori Sohma)** **Agent 009 (Ayame Sohma)** **Agent 010 (Momiji Sohma)** **Agent 011 (Yuki Sohma)**

 **Agent 012 (Kagura Sohma)** **Agent 013 (Kyo Sohma)** **Agent 014 (Mai Sohma)**

 **It goes without saying that Kureno is still very much a rogue agent.**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: I didn't expect Barry White to review my chapter! :) I'm so honored, I can't even tell you...:3 Just so you know, its all because of you and SweetLiars requesting Yuki that he has become what he has. I was originally not going to further the interrogation path for him xD I felt that made sense because Haru loves Yuki so much, especially after he told him what he thought of the cow when they were children. Things will start to pick up during the two-part mission to France, and it will pave the way for the plot twist and finale. Tee-hee. I bet you loved Shigure because he is you, basically :p Thank you! I only hoped I could portray and convey what she was feeling well without having a three page long internal monologue lol I have just the cure for the nausea, and I'm not talking discount mylanta either. But there should be a lovely amount of angst to help you feel better in upcoming chapters.**

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 **SweetLiars: I suggest you prepare yourself, because I shall respond to each review you left xD**

 **Chapter 11: The Naked Truth was a fun one :D Ashi is one of my favorite OCs, despite the fact he only had a little bit of time in the story thus far. I can see why. The first chapters are often the roughest until you find your footing and get used to writing the story. xD I love it! So Yuki's husband material, eh?**

 **Chapter 12: Ritsu is definitely one of a kind. I wonder if I could write a story about him some day. I see him paired up with Mii a lot in fanfiction when she's not being shipped with Shigure. You got your wish, there shall be more of Yuki lol**

 **Chapter 13: Yay! I was hoping it would be someone that no one would guess. It worked! Honestly, I don't think they'd make a bad couple. The age difference isn't too bad. Ten years, or something? Maybe nine...**

 **Chapter 14: Wow O.O You like Ouran Highschool: Host Club! That's seriously awesome. I can't really choose a favorite host. Especially since Honey is so cute and Tamaki's silly...it just goes on and on. My friend pointed out Angel Beats to me, but I don't think I've ever seen a full episode. Indeed. I wanted to knock some sense into her and I wrote it X.X**

 **Chapter 15: I'm about to eat pizza and brownies :3 *GASP* Just when we were starting to become friends or something...you go and say something about salad. I feel so insulted T^T I'm debating on only leaving it at implications or revealing more of the details. I gotta keep in mind that this is only rated T.**

 **Chapter 16: Oh goodness XD I wasn't even considering that until you said something. He'd probably faint. I can see that happening too. Sowwy. This is a long chapter too. *Ducks and hides* What Mai did wasn't right, but she wasn't stable. It doesn't change the repercussions that come with it, however.**

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 **James Birdsong: Its you! :) Thank you, by the way. :D**

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 **This is officially my longest fanfic yet, at over 100k+ words. Whoa. O.O**

 **Welcome to the climax ladies and gents. Now, a team of agents (along with Mai and Haru) will be venturing out of Asia to Europe for the next mission which will happen over the course of two chapters. I hope you're ready for what's to come. :D You will also find out what the Hasiramas offered Mai. The stroke thing hits close to home because of the scare we got back in March. But then, I usually implement bits about myself into my stories.**

 **In case you noticed, or didn't...I changed my PenName so its no longer TohruKyoYuki. But its still me. :)**

 **I know that this is currently a HaruxOc story, but inspiration struck and I'm working on another one while finishing this one. I know. I'm ashamed of myself. So I want to know if you all think I should just post it when I'm done working on it or another story so that it won't be back-to-back Haru. Before you make your decision, I would like to either post (at the end of an Incognito chapter) or send an excerpt of the first chapter and you can decide from there.**

 **See ya'll for Chapter 18: Welcome To France (Part One) Baiiiiii :3**


	18. Chapter 18: Welcome To France (Part One)

**Chapter Eighteen: Welcome To France (Part One)**

"What do you want, mother?"

To her credit, she looks like she wants to be talking to me just as much as I want her to. Which is not at all. Ever since Yuki told me just what he thought of the 'cow is stupid' spiel, I haven't really held a grudge. But when it came to my mother, it didn't take long for the part of me that I despised to make an appearance. It was my will holding my anger back.

She kneads her hands together, shifting her gaze to the floor. "I can understand if you're angry."

I scoff, amused at how much of an understatement that was. "You don't say. Why would I be mad that you and dad cheated on each other and you left me behind for some college idiot?" Rage bubbles beneath my skin the more I talk and the more I remember the loneliness…and the pain. All I saw when I thought of them was pain. And hatred. And anger.

"You don't understand," she cries out. "It wasn't like that, Haru."

" **Don't call me that**. **You don't deserve to** ," I spit out, my fists shaking as a wave of sadness and outrage smash against the inside of my chest. " **I'll never forgive you for that. Never**."

She begins crying, sinking to her knees and covering her face with her hands. It was cloudy when I got like this; hard to think when **he** took over. But even I could see that the way she was acting didn't make sense. I didn't understand how she could be broken up when she decided to abandon her son. She had no right to be breaking down.

"I'm so sorry," she whimpers, bowing her head.

" **Liar. You're lying**."

"No, please listen to me."

But I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be that naïve boy again that believed parents loved you unconditionally, and would never neglect you. I never want to be stupid enough to allow myself to be happy when it never lasts; something bad always happened after. I hated it.

"I work for Sohma Agency, Hatsuharu," she stutters out, swiping at the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I've been undercover for years. It's what's known as deep cover due to how long I had to maintain my identity."

I go stock still, both sides of myself quieting as her explanation roars in my ears.

"I've been acting as hooker, living in and out of brothels and shelters gathering Intel on a prostitution ring. At least, that's how it began. I was forced to elope with the young man you met, in order to keep up the role I was playing and help the girls that were forced into that life out.

"Your dad couldn't handle a lifestyle that required him to share his wife." She sighs, sounding exasperated and tired. "He filed for divorce and I was on my own. This job is why I couldn't acknowledge you. Its not that I don't care about you or-" her voice breaks, as she stands again. "I love you, Hatsuharu. You're my son and you're the most important person to me. I hope that you'll find it in you to not hate me one day. And…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you through this."

Something wet falls from my eyes, and I realize that…I'm crying.

I'm…crying.

 **Are you seriously feeling sorry for her?**

 _She was just acting. It was just part of the job…_

 **So? That's no excuse. She left us behind, stupid. Are you just gonna let that go? Because she's our _mommy_? You make me sick.**

 _I was wrong about her._

 **Haven't we learned anything? Telling people things is a pain that kills. Remember Rin? Have we forgotten how badly she messed us up after that mission?**

 _This isn't about her. This is about-_

"Mom," I say, my voice hoarse as I say such an unfamiliar word.

She takes my hands in both of her small ones, stroking the inside of my palm with her thumb, reminding me of the barrier the curse and anger created between us. It was a wall, one that I felt with every rip and tear in my heart as we stood here together, crying in silence.

I wasn't sure what was gonna happen next.

But, I think this time it'll hurt less.

Or maybe…it won't hurt at all.

...

I decided to visit my mother at the hospital before the mission. It was projected to be a weeklong at minimum, and I felt it was right to at least _inform_ her of the Hashirama's offer. And when I left for the airport, sitting in the cab of a taxi, I remembered what they asked of me. The question I'd never expected to hear from either of them.

 _They want to adopt me_.

 _They want to make a part of their family, permanently._

And…I told them I'd think about it. That I'd consider becoming the daughter to the man that spat on people's dishes and made nasty dumplings and put coffee filters out of my reach; or to the woman that was more of a mother than my own, kind and beautiful, someone I'd always pictured in my mother's place; and a sister that I'd always admired and looked up to, someone brave and strong.

It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

But…what would I do about the mother I'd just met? The one that decided to forgo a relationship with me for the sake of her reputation.

 _That_ was the question.

...

Our mission was to escort, protect, and defend the Princess of the United Kingdom, seeing to her safe arrival with the current monarchs of France to sign a peace treaty between their two regions. It was all politics and diplomacy, which I'd actually started to take an interest in the more time I've spent as an agent; weird, I know. Ironically enough, Ritsu was supposed to tag along with Kyo because they were partners. But at the thought of putting himself in the line of fire, well….he fainted. That meant the only agent that was available took his place; also known as Yuki.

Before I met the Princess, I had formed expectations of what she'd be wearing. Something that swept the ground as she walked, uncomfortable and itchy, something I'd never be caught dead in. But I'd never been prepared to see the Princess of Britain and Northern Ireland, garbed in cheongsam, something my Grandma might have worn, rather than a gown or something that better fit their culture. It was a contemporary, black and white, flowery pattern, encasing a satin white slip, neither of which surpassed fingertip length. It made my pullover sweater and mini skirt look savage and uncivilized.

"Princess Adelaide Isabella-Sophia Victoria." I bow, shaking her hand once I right myself. "It is an honor to meet you, your highness," I speak slowly, making an effort to not trip up over a (long) English name. I can only hope that I'm doing it right, because we weren't briefed in etiquette on dealing with royals.

She accepts my hand, smiling in a way that I can tell she has done thousands of times over the years her parents have been in power. "You as well. How do you do?"

"Pretty grea- I mean…things are going swimmingly." I wince, wondering if that's formal enough. "If its ok, I would like to introduce you to the rest of your security detail; Kyo, Haru, and Yuki."

They all step forward, bowing, and offering up words of greeting.

"Yo," Haru says, waving his hand lazily.

"Princess," Yuki intones, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Hey," Kyo mumbles, awkwardly as if not knowing what to do with himself.

I shake my head, wishing I could retract any affiliations I just made with these people when the Princess begins giggling.

Our heads snap in her direction at once, watching as she attempts to stifle airy laughter behind a perfectly manicured hand. Once she gathers herself, she smooths her brunette hair back, adjusting her posture so that she's regained a sense of professionalism.

"I apologize for laughing. I have not ever been addressed in such a manner. Thank you, for that. It is lovely to be treated like a regular person, even for a moment."

Suddenly, a horde of paparazzi crowd us, blinding us with camera flashes regardless of it being a little after noon. Kyo, Haru, and Yuki assume formation B, blocking off any and all access to the princess as I lead her through the masses until we reach the back of a hotel building. Thankfully, she was wearing flats instead of heels high enough to trip over. She's probably used to running from psycho photographers.

The guys arrive next, having shaken the paparazzi and beginning to secure the building. The Princess and I stand in awkward silence, me not knowing how to address her. The gap of silence is filled by a tall, dark French boy that approaches. His brown eyes are soft and warm, practically smiling when they look at both of us.

"Look, buddy," I start, taking a step forward. "You have no business here. I suggest that you move-"

"Actually, I'm not here for la Princessa. I'm here for you," he corrects, taking my hand in his own and kissing it. "I couldn't help but notice you in the crowd, bella."

I blush, trying to regain my composure. "Isn't that Italian? It means beautiful, right?"

The boy leans back and I retract my hand, watching as his expression looks akin to awestruck. "Beautiful and bilingual. It must be fate that we met here in this city of love, yes?"

"Actually, she's multilingual," Haru cuts in, blocking me from his view. "She speaks seven different languages, and it isn't fate that brought her here. She doesn't need fate. She has me."

I snort, belatedly covering it up with a cough as he frowns at me. He faces the poor boy once more, preparing to show him the words that _he_ knew when Kyo and Yuki let us know that the building is clear and it's safe to go.

Haru grabs my hand, dragging me away as Kyo and Yuki bring up the rear with the Princess in between them, looking just as confused as flirty French boy. As he takes me down unknown hallways to the hotel room we share, I can't help but burst out laughing at his behavior.

"Jealous much?"

"Shut up," he mumbles, scowling as I laugh us right into our suite.

...

The Eiffel Tower was far from being Paris' best kept secret; it was actually the main attraction as far as I was concerned. But what people often don't tell you is that at night, it comes _alive_. It's like a beacon in the middle of a sea of stars and clouds that span a sky the color of a swallow bird. The tower is gold and neon blue, met with streams of water that attempt to touch its surface, but fail to reach its world-famous height. A breeze as soft and gentle as a lullaby wisps by, just tickling the hem of my dress and fluttering the material of Haru's dress shirt.

After taking an elevator for eight flights (984 ft.) the first thing I notice upon stepping off - before the view - is the nearly vacant area, like Haru booked out the top of the tower just for the two of us or something. A string quartet is standing right by the elevator, and they greet us with a piece that sounds vaguely familiar, but one I can't name. Haru leads me to a table covered in lacy cloth, a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon on ice, and two menus that lie side by side in front of two Voltaire chairs.

I move to pull out my chair, but Haru beats me to it, grabbing the back with both hands and smirking as way of offering me a seat. I roll my eyes and plop down, biting my lip to keep my smile at bay as he sits down beside me. A woody, cedar scent follows his movement and mingles with the fresh and crisp air. Now I _know_ Moo Man's a mind reader. I'd never told him, unless I did when I was drunk Christmas Eve, that I'm fond of woodsy smells because of how much time I spent outside before being taken in. I came to appreciate the environment because for a while, it was home. Oh, who am I kidding? Knowing him, it was completely unplanned.

Immediately, we're flanked by a host from one of the tower's gourmet restaurants and one of their waitresses. He had one of those curly staches that I thought only existed in cartoons or among Italians. He bows his head, speaking in an accent that was as thick as Mr. Hashirama's.

"Welcome Mademoiselle and Monsieur. Might we offer you a baguette while you decide on what food you would like to indulge in?"

"Oui. Beau geste. That would be awesome. And-" I point at the bottle of wine crammed into a bucket of ice. "Is this intended for us? I mean...I'm not familiar with the drinking age here."

"Ah, oui. You can start drinking at sixteen in la France. It has been paid for by the Sohma name, yes?"

I look to Haru, mouthing, "Has it?"

He answers by facing the host, offering a practiced smile. "Yes. Uh...mon frere? Everything is already taken care of financially."

I don't dare correct Haru for calling the owner his brother. And I'm thankful that the host seems to have the same idea, because he simply continues on to list the house specials du jour while the waitress uses a corkscrew to open the bottle of red wine. The host collects our menus after we make our selections and makes his exit. The waitress isn't far behind once she finishes pouring our two glasses and making her departure.

I run my thumb along the bottle's label, noting the year and brand. "My, I had no idea you had such expensive tastes Goth Boy."

He snorts, lifting his glass with ease. "I didn't expect you to resurrect that nickname." He gestures with his head for me to take my glass, and we both draw them up together.

"A toast...to commemorate our 25th mission together," I start, preparing to clink mine against his, only for him to retreat so that he can speak his piece.

"And to five months of being with the one and only girl I love. I can only hope to have more years of you driving me insane."

I pout, trying to burn holes into his soul with my eyes. "That's _real_ romantic Hatsuharu. Not. I toast to having more years of spilling drinks on you and flicking you in the forehead when you get out of line."

Challenge darkens his eyes as he gives his retort, "And I toast to more months and years of making you blush. It's always fun to see how red you're able to get."

"And to more nicknames like Moo Man."

"And games of 20 questions."

"And punching you in the arm," I say with a huff.

A single eyebrow cocks at this, as Haru ponders that statement. "That qualifies as domestic abuse, I think."

"Not if we're not married," I sing, triumphantly.

He's silent for a while. And I have to wonder if he seriously thought about the prospect of us getting married before. I'm more than a little embarrassed to say that I have. But...I just imagined what it would be like if someday in the future (years from now), he really did ask me.

Instead of discussing it further, he clears his throat and changes directions. "There's one more toast I want us to make. It'll probably sound stupid to you, but it's something Yuki and I used to do when we were kids after making our root beer floats."

"And you say you never had a childhood," I tease, watching the liquid swirl against the sides of my glass.

He shrugs, his expression impassive. "I didn't really. But, Yuki and I have been best friends since I was five. We would sometimes sneak out and do things because he knew what a tough spot I was in with my parents going in and out of my life. He also knew I was about to join with the agency and everything. In the end, we came up with a toast."

"Ok, I'll bite. What is this toast?"

A nostalgic smile plays along his lips as he eyes his drink, watching as it sloshes back and forth. "The only way I can tell you is if we do it together. Okay?"

I nod.

He draws his glass back in a swinging motion before making it collide with mine. "Cowabunga...bunga...bunga...power rangers...rangers...rangers," he says, making the last syllables echo each time he brings his drink back towards himself.

And surprising us both, I follow suit in saying it. Because even though it really was silly, I found it cute at the same time. This time when we finish, we both take a sip at the same time, and the taste hits me instantly. It tasted almost spicy - like peppers of some sort - which was unexpected because I'd always thought red wine tasted like tart berries or something. It was a _little_ fruity, but the spice packed a punch so powerful that it was hard to really notice it. It was reminiscent of black cherries and licorice and vanilla and tobacco; I honestly got a little lost in its flavoring. It had this je ne sais quoi about it.

"Wow," I muse, my voice coming out shamefully squeaky. "This is...something." I take a gulp, reveling in and fearing the kick of alcohol that slams into me like a train. "It's kinda good the second time around."

"I probably should have told you to wait to eat first," Haru murmurs, over the lips of his quarter-full glass. "It slows down the effect when you eat before drinking. And it wasn't decanted which would have also helped."

A breath of fog spawns in my subconscious, as warmth shoots to the pit of my stomach in waves of heat as I take another generous drink. "A _weeeee_ bit too late, dontcha' think HasuHaruu?" I ask, flushing at the mild slur.

He gapes at me. "You can't be smashed already..."

"Guess you don't know your wines, boy," I drawl, laughing at the way his face looks. "This iss _pretty_ strong."

The lady, whatever she's called, brings out two plates and sets them down on the table. I give her a smile because I'm _so_ thankful, but when I start to finish off my drink, Haru stops me with a hand on my wrist and a shake of his head.

"Eat first, Mai. I can't have you down for the count. I didn't even give you your gift yet."

I know I'm slightly tipsy. But I'm pretty sure it's not my birthday or anything.

I cant my head to the side, biting off the head of a baguette. "What're you talkin' about?"

He chuckles a little, before using the pads of his thumbs to sweep the crumbs off the corners of my mouth and places a sloppy kiss on my lips. "The gift I promised you when you decided to stay."

Even through the haze, its seconds before I remember. "My necklace..."

He nods, smiling just for me. "Yeah, I picked out a new one the other day. But I need you to close your eyes."

I frown at his words. "I feel like doing that will make me dizzy."

"Au contraire." He pauses, narrowing his eyes in thought. "I did use that correctly, right? I said on the contrary?"

I laugh, confirming his answer. "Yup."

"Good. Au contraire, Mai...this will only take a second."

He scoots his chair back with a scrape that makes me wince, as he gets to his feet and stands behind me. He kisses the top of my head and whispers a reminder to close my eyes. And because he's asking so nicely...I do. I feel a rush of air just before fabric is brought against the skin of my neck, clasped shut in the back.

"You can look, now."

My eyes pop open and I try to peer down at the necklace, but it's hard to see without the accompaniment of a mirror. So instead of looking, I feel. I brush my fingertips along the fabric, recognizing it to be a choker with how tightly it clung to my neck. I run my fingers along the gemstone dangling, and look to Haru in curiosity.

"I didn't really consider the fact you wouldn't be able to see it," Haru admits, scratching the back of his head. "But, imagine a black and white band with a garnet gemstone attached. That's what I chose for you."

Warmth consumes me from the inside out, and this time, it has nothing to do with the wine. The symphony of violins and cellos and bass hit a crescendo as Haru brings his arms around me, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek for what feels like a second instead of an eternity. Honestly, I wouldn't have minded had it been the latter.

He releases me that much too soon, resuming his seat and removing the ring thingy from his napkin, tucking it into the collar of his black shirt. "I've been hungry all day. I'm looking forward to this."

We eat, partaking in light banter, trying French cuisine to see what the hulabaloo was about. As we start off with the salad lyonnaise appetizer, we pick up where we left off with twenty questions. Though it veers off the more we drink as the moon reaches new altitudes in the sky.

"Haven't you ever thought about how many _great_ pick-up lines could come from being a secret agent?" I ask, trying to look serious.

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it…" I smooth my eyebrows, pursing my lips and preparing my deepest voice. "Hey, babycakes. I'm a secret agent…what's that you say? Search me? Don't mind if I do."

He chokes on his food, chuckling as the alcohol encourages us to explore territory that was dangerous when sober.

"What turns you on, Haruuu?" I inquire, punctuated by a hiccup that makes the table shake. "Be straight with me..."

"I didn't know I was crooked," he deadpans, running a hand through his hair as he smiles sideways.

I scoff, poking him in the arm. "Don't avoid the quession. I really wanna know."

He turns in his chair and almost falls out of it in the process, and I burst out laughing. Pink blooms in the apples of his cheeks, as he readjusts and slaps the palm of his hand on my bare thigh. "You _really_ want to know?"

"Yeah."

His hand runs the length of my thigh, inching up higher and higher; with each step of its ascent, I don't feel the urge to stop him. Even though I feel like I shouldn't like it because of what happened to me before. He nuzzles my neck, laying hot kisses all over as his hand continues moving. But when I begin to angle my head for him to get a better reach, he yanks his hand back and smiles against my skin.

"Turning you on does," he hums, biting my neck until I see black and purple. "You're like candy."

I release a shaky breath, my hand flying to the sensitive spot when he pulls back to steal a bite off my plate of food. "My turn. What's one of your fantasies?"

"Fantasy?" My voice cracks. "I don't have any." As if to out me for lying, I hiccup again and he laughs at me.

"Mai, I thought we agreed to be honest with each other."

It's not fair. He shouldn't be able to think this well. I could barely remember my name by the...third drink? I think I had two. I always forget how many I've had.

"You mean...about you? Cause' right now things are slipping."

He slings an arm over the back of my chair, after loosening his top buttons. "Only if you have one for me. Its ok if-"

"You'd think I was a freak if I told you," I break in, my face catapulted into three new shades of red.

"Why?" A smile tugs at his lips, and his eyes practically twinkle with amusement. "Is it kinky?"

"Haru!" I gasp, surprised at how open he seems. Give Haru a couple of drinks of the strong stuff and he was as blunt as a blade. Well, more than he always is.

I blow a strand of hair out of my eyes, slumping my shoulders in defeat. "I thought about what it'd be like if we...um..."

"Had sex?"

"Did it," I correct, covering my face with my hands. "One of the times, I imagined...just, things. Can we talk about something else? I really can't control what I'm saying."

He shakes his head, taking a bite of one of his eclairs. "I don't even know how we started this conversation."

I didn't really know either. But all I could really focus on was how cold it was all of a sudden, and the moon's new position in the sky. I run my hands up and down my arms, wishing I'd thought to bring my bomber jacket. Heck, even Moo Man didn't take his jacket with him. Whyyy?

It remains chilly the remainder of dinner, but Haru distracts me with stories of when he got in trouble, which turned out to be a lot when he was in middle school. The school he went to didn't take too kindly to his piercings and 'hair dye.' Ever since...sometime, I'd wondered what he meant by 'getting out of a detention.'

After I've tried the Crepe Suzette, I can say that its lived up to its hype. It was my favorite part of the meal, with raspberries, tangerine, and flaky crust. The main course consisted of ratatouille, foie gras, and bouillabaisse.

Once I'm stuffed until I'm on the verge of combustion, Haru extends his hand and asks, "Care to trip the light fantastic?"

What?

"What does that even mean?"

I take his hand and he helps me to my feet, supporting me as my legs wobble like jello. "I don't know. I just always wanted to say it. I _think_ it means dancing."

"I can't really dance at the moment," I grumble, looking pointedly at my weakening legs.

He grabs my waist, pulling me close while keeping his other hand in mine. He nods for the quartet to play something, and judging by the tempo, he meant for us to slow dance.

"Just lean on me, Mai. We're partners. We can lean on each other."

 _You can be my anchor._

We dance in a circle, spinning around the room as I stand on his feet, having kicked my shoes off at some point during twenty questions. I inhale the smell of the forest as his hands wind around my waist and I throw my arms around his neck. The soft sounds of bows against strings and finger plucks of bass swell, filling the air with a sweet ballad that makes my eyes grow heavy. A peaceful feeling sets into my heart like a permanent fixture as I continue to lean on Haru and he supports me.

Before I know it, I'm waking up in his arms in a hotel room, fully clothed just as he was. He probably collapsed as soon as he carried me here. I didn't even remember falling asleep.

I feel the dull rhythm of a headache beginning as I sit up just enough to peck him on the nose, then his cheek. I trace my thumb along his bottom lip, feeling uninterrupted breaths of air slip past his lips. I kiss him, for seconds...minutes...I don't bother counting.

I close my eyes to sleep again, when I feel his lips on mine, moving gently before he relinquishes his hold and my mind fades to black.

…

Akito sighs, leaning back in his fine leather desk chair, awaiting the last documents and briefings from his assistant before his final meeting until the next morning. If he'd known being the head of an agency would mean pile after pile of paperwork, he would have considered remaining a grunt for the rest of his life.

Right on cue, the assistant he'd hired (just because he wanted something nice to look at each day, but proved to be an asset), steps into his office with two stacks of papers. She sets them down on his desk and points to the one on the left. "This is the briefing pile which requires your approval for the agents to be assigned should you accept. And this-" she continues, pointing to the one on the right, "-are completed missions with information involving any and all mishaps that may have occurred. You will have the yearly budget and maintenance information on your desk with a cup of coffee in the morning."

He shakes his head, dreading a night full of signatures and reading until his eyes cross. "Why is it that you explain it every time?"

She records something in the tablet in her hands, looking up when she finishes. "Because its policy, sir."

"A stupid one," he grumbles, leaning forward for his embossed stamp. "Is there anyone violating a clause, policy, or is this building about to go up in flames?"

"No."

"Then any other nonsense can wait until the next day. Has my 9' o clock arrived, yet?"

"Yes sir, he's waiting for you just outside your office."

Akito loosens his tie, nodding his head. "Send him in."

His assistant makes her exit and he watches the swish of her skirt, following the length of her legs down to the do-me heels she started to wear at his request. Because what good was it to be in power if he didn't take advantage of the women that worked under him? It was a shame that she wouldn't be sitting in on his business dealings. But this was the sort of thing that only an exclusive set of ears would hear. Akito liked to think this made them thick as thieves in terms of their camaraderie and level of trust.

She holds open the door for his next visitor, closing it behind him as he moves to take a seat in one of two chairs in front of Akito's desk. He rolls up a cigar, offering it to the head, only to be given an answer of decline in exchange for a shot of scotch to wash away thoughts of impending work. The two remain in silence for a moment, knowing they'd be settling in for an evening of securing details and ensuring that everything was falling into place.

"So," the guest begins, putting out his cigar to reach for his own glass, "I've had my ear to the streets for a while, meeting with my associates on the whereabouts of Kashima."

"And what did they find?" Akito queries, taking a sip of liquor gold.

"Word is there has been some movement in the southern hemisphere. After having done some digging, we have located him off the coast of Africa, tampering with vaccines that are meant to treat HIV positive patients."

"And the coroner is still keeping quiet?"

"Yes. How much you want to bet he's been paid with a barrel to keep his mouth shut?"

Akito snorts, knocking back the remainder of his drink. "You really think Kashima would hesitate to kill him if he were to pull out a gun? I'd say one of Kashima's so-called loyal lackeys paid the guy off to cover their own mistakes. Either that or they're conspiring against their boss."

"Well why don't you put your money where your mouth is, Akito-sama. How's ten-thousand yen sound to you?"

Akito smirks, deciding to remove his tie altogether and set it down on his desk. "I'll see your ten-thousand yen and raise you thirty-thousand yen. When I play, I play for keeps."

Secretary Hiyagota chuckles, requesting a refill of the expensive stuff as silence reigns once again. There were many bases that needed to be covered now that they managed to pinpoint the exact location of their not-so-silent business partner. Now it was time to activate their best agent. Well, after dealing with the elephant in the room.

"My empathies for the loss of your son, Isamu-san," Akito drawls, eyeing his own forsaken crystal glass.

The secretary gives a dry chortle, not believing he's sincere for a moment. "With all due respect Akito-sama, I didn't come here for condolences. I'm here to get things done."

"Don't get cross with me. I'm simply passing a message along from the agent of mine that killed him. Not in as many words, but it was practically implied."

"Really? I never would have pegged you as a messenger boy, Akito-sama."

"I have many hats, Isamu-san. Think of me as a chameleon; you never know what I'll be when you see me next." Akito smiles smugly, beginning to skim through the list of upcoming missions. "It appears that there are quite a few assignments on my desk regarding our mutual friend, Isamu-san. He's made quite the commotion; it's rather impressive. Usually people like us have a woman in every city. Kashima on the other hand…"

"He has an enemy in every city," Hiyagota finishes, narrowing his eyes in thought. "Even though we're both almost guaranteed to die when this is over…I think I love our partnership more than I _ever_ did my wife."

"Well…let's drink to that, then," Akito decides, whisking up his bottle of Macallan, and pouring both of their glasses.

"Don't you have paperwork to get to, lad?" Hiyagota asks, a hint of jest in his tone.

"I'll have my assistant deal with anything that doesn't involve _him_. She can give the go-ahead on that. I couldn't care less, considering how close death is sure to be for you and me."

Hiyagota laughs, sounding hollow and cold. "What a poetic way of saying we signed our death warrants the moment we put our heads together."

Akito brandishes his half empty glass, looking off into the distance. "A stroke of brilliance – or suicide – in the making."

"Hear, hear," Hiyagota agrees, polishing off his own malt.

...

It was a bright and sunny day in Luxembourg Gardens when it happened. Red, blue, purple, and pink flowers dominated the green lands where we were happily chowing down. We were all seated in the middle of the grass, enjoying a late lunch. The Princess and I had actually made something of an agreement while the boys were off fetching our food. She had a thing for angry man (Kyo) and wanted to spend some alone time with him. Because he was one of the people working as her guard, I agreed as long as one of us followed a distance away. We shook on it and when they got back, we acted like nothing happened. And nothing did happen, until…

"Surrender the Princess, immediately!" A female voice squeaked, followed by the rustle of tree branches and a crash. We all snapped to attention, Yuki and I standing in front of the Princess as Kyo and Haru took defensive stances. It was upon seeing a tall woman, sidled up with two equally lanky men that we drew the same conclusion; we were being ambushed.

Before I knew what was happening, kicks were flying, punches were being thrown, knifes were being launched, and the regal Garden became a full out battlefield.

"Agents 014 and 013," Haru calls out, ducking an oncoming attacker. "Assume formation Alpha Black. We'll take the Princess to safety."

Kyo and I nod, standing back to back as Yuki and Haru flee with the Princess and the trio looms closer. I retrieve Old Reliable from the holster strapped to my ankle, hoping I wouldn't have to take another life, while Kyo drew his own ball and chain. The three fly backward, skidding to a stop as they take in our weaponry, appearing startled. Apparently, they were counting on hand-to-hand combat to win the fight. And it seemed especially pointless since their target was long gone by now.

Nevertheless, the two men take up arms, shielding their squeaky leader by rushing towards us as she begins to backtrack. The men looked to be identical twins, though there was one noticeable difference – their fighting styles. One was a master of swordplay (Kyo's challenger), and the other was most likely their straight shooter with his compound bow. Compound bows were extremely powerful, not something you messed with unarmed. Between the two of us, it would come down to a battle between speed and power.

Kyo raises his ball and chain, spinning it into the air as his attacker charged forward with a thrust and parry, narrowly missing the tip of his sword. His lips twist into a snarl as he brings his mace around with such force, the wind whistles as it makes contact with the ground at their feet, sending chunks of dirt into the air as they both move apart. Bowman draws back his bowstring, an arrow grazing my cheek half a second after I pull the trigger aimed at his chest. I duck and roll away, expecting up a counterattack as a result of my miss, and am not disappointed when another arrow lands an inch from my head. He has no fear when he tries again, and again, and again, almost getting me each and every time. The moment he runs out of arrows and moves to refill his quiver, I raise my gun as the realization of his plan hits me square in the face; speed was his strong suit. He didn't have to aim perfectly, but he wanted me to run out of bullets. He probably wasn't very skilled with a bow, unlike my first theory; I bet he's a novice at best. He wanted it to end in close-quarter combat, a duel of fists because that was all he was good at.

Now I got it.

"Agent 013," I yell, spinning away before the next arrow can make its mark. "It's all about speed with these guys. Don't let him get too close to you, keep your distance!"

"Why?" He grits out, cringing as the sword leaves a gash in his left arm.

"Just do it," I demand, refocusing my attention on my own opponent. He confirms my speculation when he growls and tosses his compound bow aside, resorting to swinging his hand at me, forcing me to dodge. I don't even know how he snuck up on me. He was just-

"Mai!" Kyo screeches. "My guy is fighting you now. They switched on us."

That's why.

I look up, just in time to see a sword swinging towards my torso, shooting its owner before it's able to reach its fatal destination. There was no way any of us was getting mortally wounded before we finished sightseeing. Not on my watch. He collapses to the ground, blood pouring out of the entry and exit wound on his stomach. I purposely missed arteries that would kill him immediately; a rush to the emergency room followed by a pair of handcuffs will mean getting answers about this attack, keeping my hands clean enough.

I hear the squelch of impact between Kyo's mace and the man he was confronting, though I turn away before I can see the damage. I wasn't squeamish…but I hated watching as life bled out of anyone, no matter who they were. It always bothered me. That's why one of many reasons I'm not cut out for assassinations.

"Alright, I'll track down the other one," Kyo announces, nodding his head in the hotel's direction. "You head back and get Haru. We'll need his help to cart the bodies off to the hospital and the morgue."

I silently agree, running as fast as my little legs have been trained to carry me. I push forward as I feel the familiar sting of bile in my throat, the pain of blinking back tears. I hated this. I hated killing. I hated watching it…

But it's who I am.

...

We had to wait for everything to mellow out before we brought the Princess to the Palace to sign the peace agreement. None of us were too keen on putting her in harm's way so soon after the attack during lunch yesterday. Once it was completed it was boated back to the UK. And after everything cooled down, she told us that she planned to spend her last two nights in Paris having fun, before we'd have to escort her back the third day. Tonight, she picked Disneyland Paris.

So that the Princess remained low-key and incognito, she sported regular civilian clothes; red and black flannel, over a black tank-top, paired with black skinny jeans and her signature flats. Her detail was meant to blend in as well, so I just stuck with a blue-white striped tank, white shorts, and my favorite pair of vans. Adelaide-sama said that my boots didn't go with my outfit. Otherwise you wouldn't catch me wearing anything else on a night of trekking through an amusement park.

All shapes and colors scaled area, filled with families and couples milling about, a mixing pot of a foreign languages blending together and overlapping all at once. Haru, Kyo, Adelaide-sama, and I all start for the food stands for sodas before heading to the first attraction.

We started off slowly, with mild rides like Crush's Coaster before working our way up to the _real_ thrill rides; Phantom Manor, RC Racer, Big Thunder Mountain, and Tower of Terror were among the few. But now…now it was time for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril, a wooden rollercoaster that made you feel like you were gonna die; it felt unstable. Literally, ride or die.

"Mai, I don't want to go," Haru intones, maintaining a careful mask of indifference. "Can't you get Kyo or the Princess to go with you?"

"Oh stop being such a wuss, Moo Man." I pout, frustrated that he's trying to run. "You know its Kyo's turn to watch the Princess." That and the fact she has the hots for him.

"That doesn't matter," he argues, forcing us to a stop by digging in his heels despite the rest of the line moving forward.

"Haru! If you don't stop giving me a hard time, I'll be sure to make the rest of this trip _very_ miserable for you. And you know that I'm great at that."

He pauses, considering his options, before giving a sigh of submission. "Fine," he mutters, swearing under his breath.

"What? I can't hear you~" I sing, putting a hand behind my ear.

"Don't push it," he bites out, plopping down in the coaster once we finally reach the front.

I cackle maniacally at my diabolical plan having worked, taking a seat beside him and buckling up, waiting for the ride to start. This time, its Haru's leg that is bouncing up and down out of nervousness, though he'll never voice his fear. So I take his hand and interlace my fingers with his, reveling in the familiarity of cool metal from the rings on both of our hands. He smiles a little at me, until the ride bumps, slowly picking up speed as it leaves the tunnel. His eyes change from tender to fearful, as we begin to turn, a sky of stars shining just above us. The groan of wood against metal creaks from beneath our seats as we start for the incline, shaking and rickety. And then…we drop.

It accelerates, taking us through loops, upside down at quick speeds. A scream from beside me sounds oddly like a woman, considering the high octave. But when I crane my head to look, I realize…it was Haru.

Eventually, the ride comes to an end and everyone's hair is mussed up by the time we step off. Haru shakes his head, the tiniest inkling of pinkness spotting his cheeks as he shoves his hands into his pockets, trying to appear cool. I decide to have mercy on him and keep what happened between us, kissing him on the cheek and swinging our joined hands as we make our way to the meetup point. He squeezes my hand out of gratitude and my heart feels full the entire walk over.

…

Our group enters the Mad Hatter Tea Cup ride, finding an empty purple and blue one covered with squiggly lines and dots. The Princess and I sat shoulder to shoulder while Kyo and Haru sat on either side of us. There was a pole in the middle with a disc seated on top, though I had no clue what it did. Before I get the chance to find out, we begin spinning, gradually increasing in pace as it went on.

Adelaide-sama took ahold of the disc, turning it so that our cup started to spin as the ride whirled around us. Kyo and Haru eventually joined in, making it a competition to see who could make us go the fastest.

"Guys, you're gonna make us bump into someone," I get out, between laughs.

"Only if that idiot can't keep up," Kyo gloats, smug as can be.

"Worry about yourself, pansy," Haru hurls back, making the wheel turn faster and faster to further fuel his words.

The Princess and I exchange a look, shaking our heads when the two knuckleheads almost break the dang thing. Boys…

…

We continued through the streets of the park, passing by the Princess Pavilion that featured Belle, Aurora, Ariel, and Snow White. The four wave in our direction as we walk, and the Princess and I blow kisses and bow, giggling as we stride arm-in-arm towards the food stands.

Pink and blue fireworks explode across the starry sky in patterns, crackling as they rain down above the castle that stood front and center of it all. I grin as I take in the streaks of color that caress the blackness, a generous breeze saving us from a hot, summery night. Adelaide-sama and I release each other once we get to the Popcorn/Cotton Candy hybrid of a stand, ordering two bags of buttery popcorn and three portions of blue and pink sweetness.

I pop a kernel into my mouth, chewing as Haru digs through my bag for his own _huge_ handful.

"No. Bad boy," I say, scooping some up and throwing it at him. I smile deviously, breaking out into a run when I recognize that look in his eyes; the one that promised retribution and warned me to try and get a head start or I was doomed. But like I said, he was faster than me. It took him less than a minute to catch up, throwing his arms around me, and lifting me off the ground into a fireman's carry. I beat on his back, trying to stop laughing long enough to sound stern.

"Let me down," I whine, folding my arms in defeat.

"I'd rather not," he says.

I can hear the smile in his voice when he does, and instead of upsetting me…it means the world to me. Six months, maybe even three months ago, he didn't show any emotion at all.

But now, he was completely open to me. He let me in.

I love him.

* * *

 **Happy Fourth of July! Kinda weird that I'm posting a chapter where they're in France on this day. But whatevah.**

 **This chapter is mainly focused on the attractions of Paris, but its building up to the plot twist and the finale.** **Fun Fact (Not really xD): I am the first of five children to be born in the States. My three older siblings were all born in Germany.**

 **This story has officially been going for over a year! Sometimes it feels like it's been ages and other times it feels like I just started this story. A lot has happened since I first began, and I can only hope to grow as a writer with each chapter and each new story that I'm able to write. Thank you Killer Disco Queen, Kuramasgirl19769, and SweetLiars for being the most supportive of all my stories! ^_^ You're all awesome and I can't imagine what I'd be doing or what stories wouldn't have seen completion without your loving and kind words. Thank you!**

 **As for No Strings Attached, Ch.5 is on the horizon. :)**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: Haha Thank you so much xD And there's no need! Your author notes are very entertaining to read, and I feel sad when there isn't one. Oh but I have compared you to Kris and Aden :3 Hrm. I can't help but wonder if you have a little Gabe in you dying to get out xD You might need a hit of mylanta for some of this chapter, but I think its _mostly_ fluff-free. I try to stay mindful of that allergy of yours ;) Yuki should have more attention in Part Two of the France mission. I'm already thinking on it. :) And did he kill him? Why, yes. Yes he did. Aw. I want to do it, too. But I still got enough years left in this ol' ticker of mine to see it through. I think it adds to the authenticity of a story when authors include bits of their lives into their stories. That's why I decided to start doing it. Oh you _will_ find out. During Chapter...20. And I don't doubt that you would, too lol**

* * *

 **SweetLiars: No problem :3 Ah, so you caught that xD Ever since I started watching k-dramas a few years ago, I started using that phrase. I've gotten tempted to do that. I usually just look to the back of a book to see how many pages it is, and _almost_ glimpse at the very last line. I shall add it to the list of things I need to watch. Its becoming pretty long, now. Its okay though. Even though you don't like salad, its cool. We can still talk...maybe T^T Yeah, I get that. I haven't been the quickest to review long chapters because (even though I love the story) trying to write a review that is worthy of such great work is a challenge. Haha They'll need it for what I got up my sleeves. Its funny you should request Yuki and Kyo. I'd already planned for them to go on the mission months ago XD I personally love cat and mouse squabbles and miss it dearly, myself. **

* * *

**See you all for Ch.19 of Incognito: Welcome To France (Part Two)! Baiiiiiiii :3**


	19. Chapter 19: Sleeping With The Enemy

**Chapter Nineteen: Sleeping With The Enemy (Welcome to France Part Two)**

Clumps of hair lay on the carpet of the hotel room he shared with no one but himself, like scattered amethyst flower petals. Only instead of plucking them to determine if the girl he liked loved him, or loved him not - he invented a new game. One where he tugged and pulled and roughly raked his fingers through his shiny locks as he repeatedly asked himself the very question: am I crazy, or am I not?

The faintly punchy aroma of coffee tickled his nostrils from his once organized and now stuffed nightstand (with weaponry and clothes). It was something he turned to as opposed to a cigarette or a bottle of liquor hard enough to send him crawling and crashing and drowning in a pool of migraines and nausea. Staying awake kept the nightmares at bay long enough for the memory to fade...before another resumed its place, a new monster under the bed - so to speak - taking its place.

He clutches his head in his hands, rocked by the disorientation that far outmatched the discombobulation from an hour prior. There was something seriously screwed up about him. He wasn't a bright eyed, bushy tailed young man bustling to cram for a midterm the following day. There was no reason for him to become a lover of insomnia, and despise his body entering the vulnerable state of slumber. Except for the fact that he was a twisted, bent, corrupted individual that now played a rousing, dark game of twenty questions for a living and killed when the situation called for it.

He scrapes his nails across the damaged surface of his scalp, a thirst for amnesia so overwhelming that he nearly stumbled, like maybe he really was drunk after all and this was just a new boogeyman; a new nightmare to settle into his subconscious and it make itself comfortable in his soul. If he could trade in this world-weary mind in exchange for pretending what happened didn't happen, he'd spread his arms like a majestic bird's wings and take the risk of the fall. Anything to forget how it had felt in that brief moment of pleasure on both his and the woman's behalf. If it meant abandoning the feel of her hands and her lips and her tongue wrapped around him like her favorite flavor of ice cream. Her shapely tanned legs, paired with his hips nestled snugly between them. The way her skin was as warm as a baked apple pie, sweet and delicate as she crumbled beneath his ministrations and had been filled. He had forgotten the howls of his victim in her black licorice strands, surprised at the high he experienced from viewing her hair splayed across his bedsheets in a fashion that made him feel...normal. Human. Like he was just a typical, hormonal, teenager preparing to get laid by a beautiful girl. But this wasn't a high school romance novel with a happy ever after. And they weren't teenagers except in name only. They weren't normal - he wasn't normal, and had skipped several birthdays to arrive at adulthood, even when he was still playing hopscotch and well into elementary school.

He drags his hands down his face, almost regretful of letting his nails grow out instead of grooming like he once did. But the sick satisfaction of watching the red lines that followed the blissful sharpness was just...too...good.

Punishment. He liked punishment.

When they had finished and they lay side by side on his mattress, he had felt something malicious rise within him. Maybe it was the sight of sweat that dripped off her body, and knowing he was the cause. Or perhaps the musky scent of their shared arousal and the way she still panted from experiencing his first hand. Whatever it was, had broken something further in him. Something that had already been warped when he was a little boy in a gas station bathroom, foolishly misplacing his trust in a stranger. He wanted her to feel what he felt. Each. And. Every. Day. He wanted her to know what addiction felt like. What it meant to crave sex and to be hit with lust square in the face and unable to resolve it. He wanted her to suffer the withdraws and relapse like he had so often since Jai. The unquenchable need to be surrounded by someone else and to leave behind the numbness of lonely nights under a cold veil of water.

All he'd wanted was to give back what had been selfishly thrust upon him. But it had quickly gotten out of control, like the stroke of a match making love to kerosene and birthing a raging fire. They created ashes as lust caused his skin to boil, their actions ruthless and demanding as they tried to rise again from the death that was sure to come of this.

The death to the remainder of their innocence.

He entered her and didn't stop. He traveled at the speed of their breaths, pouring from their lips like a shameless gust of wind. He felt like a filthy dog pounding away into a female he'd called upon to mate with, and it made him both sick to his stomach and vaguely vindicated. This was what he'd become. And he'd blame his mother, and Jai, and the agency and himself. But it didn't keep him from burying one hand in black licorice, guiding her lips to meet his head one final time. It didn't deter him from gagging her by shoving her head down and forcing her to take him all in and like it. And it didn't change his mind about making her enjoy him like he was the flavor all the girls raved about, not even offering her to stay the night out of courtesy when it had ended.

She walked crookedly out his door, worse for wear than when he'd encountered her at a French pub. And as soon as the coast was clear and he could drop the act of the collected Casanova he'd been, his face smoothed out into that of nothingness as he steps into the shower, not waiting the allotted time it took to heat up the water. And after a cleanup session that consisted of drowned out wails, his forehead greeting the cool shower tile, and his damp hair hanging as lowly as his spirits, he is brought to the present. One without leggy brunettes, but a plain white mug of cold joe, and the strands of the hair he'd torn out in his absolute confusion. Feeling at a loss for how he could continue on this earth as he grew mad with no asylum equipped enough to cure him.

But really? What choice did he have?

Its when he receives an e-mail notice on his encrypted phone that he is dispatched to search and question another potential Ryu associate. And once again...he had to become someone other than himself, for he had died.

...

When the festivities conclude, I'm too tired to force my legs into motion any longer. But it came in handy that my boyfriend just so happened to be part man, part ox. Gotta love having free, portable transportation.

I watch as he kicks off his shoes, from where my head rested on his shoulder, before he crouches to help me onto our bed. I tumble off his back, moving the covers back as he heads to the bathroom in search of something.

The temperature in the room was perfect; not too hot or cold, kind of like what Haru said to me in the past. I smile as I think about how far we've come as best friends and a couple. It was kind of funny that the first time we met, I spilled my punch on him, and he implied that I was fat. Good memories, ne?

After a minute, he sticks his head out with a toothbrush protruding from the corner of his mouth. I roll onto my back and wiggle free of my shorts and shirt, leaving me in nothing but a tank top and a pair underwear. He smirks before turning back around to spit into the sink and running water to rinse out the evidence. When he turns out the light and shuts the door, I ask him to crack the French doors of our balcony so that I could get a view of the moon.

And when he does, he climbs into bed, pulling my body against his and nuzzling my neck. I shiver when he kisses his way down the column of my neck to my collarbone and shoulders, then back again. By the time he leans back just enough that he can look me in the eyes, I'm feeling lightheaded.

"I saw my mom the other day."

I snap out of the haze I was in, not having expected him to say anything. "Really? What happened? Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Haru shrugs, like its the most casual thing in the world running into someone you saw as an enemy. "More or less. Things escalated more than I would have liked. But, we talked things out and I think we reached an understanding."

"An understanding?"

He nods. "She's a spy too. That's why she ignored me whenever I was out in public. Dad didn't want anything to do with the way the job had her live. So he left her. And even though I forgive my mom, I can't blame him for that. If it were me and you were the one undercover, sleeping with other guys, I wouldn't be able to handle it."

I wince.

Its not like I was uncomfortable that he wouldn't like me being with anyone else.

It was the thought of ever being with anyone else in that way that was scary.

After...after what happened, I still don't know if I could even bring myself to get with anyone.

Not even Haru.

I put my thoughts aside for the time being, because I didn't want to make any of this about me. This was about Haru and his family. That's who I needed to focus on.

"Are you gonna introduce me to her one day?" I ask, nervous of what his mother would think of someone like me. "I get it if you decide to. I just hope she'll like me."

So much for keeping the conversation about him...

His hand moves beneath the blanket to hold mine, sliding our rings together as he fills the spaces of my fingers with his own. His eyes never leave mine, even when I feel I want to look away because of how exposed I felt revealing any apprehension.

"A long time ago, I might have listened to my mom if she said you weren't the one for me." When he says it, I can tell it hurts him to admit to this as much as it does me, but he's trying to be open and honest for my sake.

"I would have blindly accepted her judgement because she's my mom. But if she were to try and reject you now, it wouldn't stop me from seeing you. I can't let what someone else thinks matter or determine what I decide to do with my life." He tightens the grip he has on my hand, squeezing it as his voice grows more firm. "I love you, Mai. I really love you."

The second dumb tears spring to my eyes, I duck my head, tucking it beneath his chin as I hold back all the words that were swirling in my head. My heart was feeling heavy and light all at the same time with how much love I felt towards him; how much I liked the impact of the truth that flooded from him.

But I let the comfort of Haru and the moonlight that streams into our room lull me to sleep, a smile on my face as I anticipate returning home with a renewed look at allowing myself to feel.

...

"Merci beaucoup, loves," the princess chirps, smiling.

We all bow in almost perfect unison, though she and I exchange a secret handshake that we'd made up during the eventful picnic. We never expected a show to go with our lunch, but...drama.

The princess takes a curtsy, before extending her hand to Kyo in hopes of him offering a kiss. But being the clueless cat that he is, he shakes it instead, before stalking off.

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows showcase her confusion, though Haru's quick to throw out an explanation of his own kind.

"He has a woman back home..." he smirks, his grey eyes glinting cruelly. "Kagura's got him tied down, its nothing against you, princess."

"Oh," she says, though she still sounds a little glum. "That's to be expected of someone who looks absolutely ravishing, if you'll excuse my slang."

Whoa, there.

Kyo? And ravishing?

Those two words shouldn't exist in the same world, let alone the same sentence.

Time to change the subject.

"Did I ever tell you how cool your name is?" I direct at her highness. "Adelaide, like the Anberlin song."

"Mai loves them," Haru adds, proudly, clapping his hand on my shoulder. "Right after FTIsland and Linkin Park."

"Can you blame me?" I throw back, sticking my tongue out at him.

He simply smiles and ruffles my hair, drawing me into his side and keeping me close. "You're cute when you get feisty."

I huff, folding my arms. "Cute? Try hot," I stress the last word, though I'm really just teasing him. "Or maybe I should ask that _cute_ French boy from before."

"That's not funny," he states, throwing his arm around me to warn the world that I am his.

Princess Adelaide giggles, covering her mouth to stifle the sound. "You Americans are very colorful and vivid people," she trills in her French accent. "I shall miss your company. Do send a letter or an e-mail sometime. I have yet to get into those uh - how you say - cellular phones."

"Will do," I say, elbowing Haru in the ribs.

"Mm," he gives a grunt, wordlessly offering the same thing, only for the lighthearted cadence of conversation to be thrashed by an impatient voice.

"Come on!" Kyo shouts, causing us to all spin around and face him and a silent and listless Yuki. "We don't have all day. Last one to the airport is getting the crappy aisle seat by the bathroom."

Ugh.

Who got stuck with that hideous ticket?

Haru and I roll our eyes, he giving me a small kiss on the head before trudging over, leaving me to a private moment with my new friend.

I never thought I'd make a companion out of royalty, or even a client we were assigned to protect. But despite our packed schedules and all the countries between us, I was certain we could keep in touch. Even but once a month.

We exchange one final hug, and the scent of something spicy combatting a sweet perfume welcome me in open arms as I close my eyes to remember this; to hold onto it while I hopped on a plane and rejoined society, returned to school, and accepted new missions.

Its hard to believe that there was a time I was so alone. And now I had Tohru, Mimi, Adelaide, and even Foxy around me. Not to mention my sweet, silly, and loving my boyfriend. Who cares about the people that wronged me like my families and Rin? I had a new family in the Hashiramas, so it shouldn't bother me to think of my foster and biological family.

In time, I think that'll be true.

...

I should have known the moment we were assigned to this mission that it would be the end. Or, close to it.

Everything before we stepped off the plan back home in Tokyo was conducted smoothly and seamlessly. I had never - even in my wildest imagination - expected to run into Isamu, Akito, and Ryu the moment we vacated the airport and exited the shuttle.

I almost didn't recognize Ryu due to how many times he'd had his face redone. It wasn't out of vanity or fearing the wrinkles age brought. Though the surgery ironed out his features until only smooth and scar-free tissue made his face look like new. It was only an attempt to outrun the fugitive title long enough to continue his sleazy business schemes and commit crime after crime.

I just never understood why.

"Mai."

"Ryu?"

He snickers at the way I look as if I'd seen a ghost of some sort. And in a way, it was almost like an apparition was before me. A shadow of the past that Haru had convinced me had nothing to do with me now. And he made me feel excited and anticipatory for a fresh start. He was the one that taught me how to turn over a new leaf.

That's why I was hopelessly upset and confused when he left my side, approaching the wicked trio as if they were longtime buddies.

Brutal.

One word, six letters, and a period. That one word so completely summed up every ragged intake of breath, every dark thought, and every last painful doubt that ran through me like a long and serrated blade.

As I watched Haru join them, it was like setting off a snare, a net wrapping itself around my heart like Japan's Most Wanted. Every crunch of his boots when introducing themselves to the gravel dug the blade into me that much deeper. Piercing me through the hollow center that held my heart captive.

Ryu's surgically enhanced lips form a deeply satisfied smile, his hand coming to rest on Haru's shoulder. "Lookee here, Mai. You left me. And now, he has left you. Its the circle of life, isn't it?" He guffaws, his five o'clock shadow moving with each uneven laugh.

Akito scoffs, his hand twitching as if he were restraining himself from reaching for the pistol strapped to his hip. "I truly fail to understand why we appointed such a corny person as our leader. That is, until I am reminded of all that he has done to forward the cause."

Isamu merely shrugs. "At least he's pretty to look at. He's got that going for him."

"True," Akito concedes through a small sigh. "It doesn't hurt that we get to watch such a reunion on top of fulfilling the plan."

"Indeed," Ryu purrs, beckoning Haru to continue towards them with a finger. "Isn't that right, Hatsuharu?"

He doesn't acknowledge any of these things as he doesn't stop walking onward, ignoring the renewed weight of betrayal in my stare, and the vibrations of my body as I trembled.

I latch my hand onto the collar of the choker he bought me, cursing the tears welling in my eyes and the bottomless pit of my soul. I rip it from my neck and send it hurtling to the ground like a garnet comet, and hurt more when Haru flinches at the sound.

"Turn around and face me, you coward!" I scream, so fed up with all the people in my life that have deserted me. "Look me in the eyes and tell me if you're not on my side!"

His hands dive into his pockets as if hiding from the ache in my voice. He simply cranes his head to glance at me over his shoulder, his expression as unreadable as braille. "I told you, Mai. There is a second mission I've been on."

"I'm in no mood for any cryptic crap from you," I all but snarl, every last bit of my impatience running rampant under the deeply rooted hurt and anger for how bad my life has been. "Tell me why you acted like you had no clue what the name on my wrist meant...prove to me that you aren't branded, and I'll hear you out."

He can't do that...can he? He's been lying to me all this time about who he's working for. And I never thought my heart could heart like this. Knowing that Haru saw me get my virginity stolen from me in the most vicious and unjust way. I gave him every part of me, good and ugly. And in return...he strung me along, only to stab me in the back. This...this is what pain feels like.

My eyes lifelessly track his movements as his hands curl under the hem of his black shirt, raising the cloth up inch by inch. And I dread the moment I'll have to see for myself that the only marred surface on his blank body are the words that identified my owner. And as _Property of Ryu_ that had been engraved into his skin is revealed to me, it decimates all our times playing 20 questions; every last inside joke and moment co-parenting Ayure, our trip to France, and our Christmas gift exchange...our first kiss over a malt and the basketball game that lead up to it. It was all erased with the ink burned into his flesh, eradicating everything I believed he felt and rendering it meaningless.

I drop my head down, Ryu's raucous laughter dulled along with the rest of my senses in the wake of truth. My eyes gravitate towards the discarded choker, its black and white band still holding its gem, with only the smallest of scratches. But seeing it floods me with a force so strong, I narrow my eyes, a haze of unshed angry tears as a desire to break it overwhelms me.

He broke me. I'll break him.

I set off to do exactly that, only for a voice I want to forget sounds close to my ears. Much too close considering how I was merely hanging on by a thread.

"Mai," he says, his hand enclosing my wrist and bringing me against his chest. "Let me explain."

"Shut up," I whisper, despising how it kills me to be harsh to him. Even though he's a liar. "I'm through with this. I hate you. I should have never let you back in."

This isn't the first time I told him something similar. But I never meant it, especially not like this.

"Fine. I'll let my bullets do the talking." With that, he withdraws a handgun, firing a round of ammo directly at Ryu's chest. A gasp flees my lungs like a caged bird having its door opened and set free, Haru's arm wrapped securely around my waist as Ryu tucks and rolls away to avoid taking damage.

"This is a double-cross, moron," Haru says, directing his gun to the sky and slowly squeezing the trigger. "Jokes on you."

* * *

 **All questions will be answered in the next chapter and the epilogue. I know you're probably wondering what the heck just happened in the last section lol**

 **One chapter left before the epilogue! I was originally going to make this story 22 chapters, but I think the next chapter will suffice as the penultimate before the grand finale. Sorry about the late update for this one!**

 **Chapter 20: Or Die Trying**

 **Chapter 21: Phantom Limb (Epilogue)**

* * *

 **Killer Disco Queen: Thank you! :) I hope you enjoyed the opening with Yuki this time. Akito will definitely have a lot of 'airtime' next chapter as it is the final showdown as everything is explained. I have yet to see how I'm going to navigate writing all the upcoming action, but it should be interesting haha**

* * *

 **SweetLiars: Aw :) I haven't been able to get back into Kdramas or much of TV lately. The last Kdrama I watched was Cheese In The Trap. Maybe she'll apologize in the epilogue. Though...he might be too far gone. And yup! He was a target. But its a whole lot of cover-ups and shall be uncovered the next chapter. Thank you! :D**


	20. Chapter 20: Or Die Trying

**Chapter Twenty: Or Die Trying**

The bullets fired from Haru's gun sailed through the bright sky, coming down like hail and plummeting too fast to be avoided. Teeth are grit in pain with each graze of a bullet, the trio barrel rolling and evading the onslaught of ammo they could, steeling themselves for the battle that had just begun.

Mai's very heart quivered, her hands itching for Old Reliable strapped to her leg, though paralyzed at the thought of using it. To become a killer again...the assassin she'd agreed to be with her unit, though she wanted a way out of it. She hated robbing someone of their breath or use of their limbs. Stealing their very humanity from them; their family, their soul, their spirit.

She shuts her eyes, seeing crimson dripping off her fingers from behind her eyelids. Feeling its warmth and making vain attempts at blocking out the heavy, coppery, almost metallic perfume it carried. She'd bled a man dry, leaving his expiring body on the lonely gravel, soaking through his clothes as if they were just as thin as a coffee filter. In the puddle of dark red that pooled around his corpse, lie his wedding plans, the daughter his girlfriend had prematurely as the result of her shock, the college degree in computer science that he docked over 182 hours of study time into. And it was her fault.

She shoves her blood stained hands beneath her armpits, cold and stiff as she forces her feet to keep moving even though her heart slows to the point it barely beats. She shakes her head, muttering under her breath, "No, no, no..." because she wasn't Ryu's marionette, anymore. He wasn't the puppet-master still controlling her, pulling her strings, making her dance with death. Her wet hands grow numb as the wind drags her flesh through its teeth, scarring her with goosebumps as her cold and grim thoughts rival the gust.

The trigger bit the skin between her thumb and forefinger, its kickback something she'd been trained to not jump at, though her heart itself flinched as her mind slowed the speed of the bullet, and she watched it pierce the stomach of the groom on the way to his bride. She'd been the obstacle to stand in the way of him getting to the church on time. And he made his vow with his life instead of his lips as his body crashed to the ground, like a giant with rope around its legs, taking a fall worthy of their size.

She'd lowered her gun and tucked it into the holster around her thigh, robotically crouching down beside her victim as he coughed and gurgled and spat blood, getting her right in the face. He weakly clamped a hand to the gaping wound in his abdomen as he wheezed, though the barrier was no match for the rapid flow of blood loss inside and out.

She doesn't bother swiping the evidence from her face. She needed it to stay there. She needed to not forget that she was the monster that had been cultivated by Dr Frankenstein. No, instead, she fishes out her knife in quick succession and presses it to his Adam's apple.

The young man stares at her, a mixture of hatred and pity leaping to his eyes. She looked around ten...maybe eleven to him. While he knew business was business and she was just hired help - a hitman - summoned to snuff him out, he couldn't get past the fact that she wasn't a man at all. She wasn't even a woman. But a girl, hardened and refined into a murderer that killed in cold blood. He couldn't bring himself to forgive her for wrenching him out of this world and sending him plunging into the next. But...he felt sorry for her all the same. Because he knew she'd have to live with the memories of what she'd committed this day. She'd have to recall what it felt like to have his heart beating in her small, child hands. The sound of a .45 puncturing a body three times hers. And the traumatizing odor of his life and his death that would always haunt her every thought.

So yes, he hated her.

But he also sympathized.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, unable to get her mouth to obey her master's words. That killing yielded no apologies. "I'm so sorry that you're dying..."

His eyes rounded, a small tear licking its way down his cheek and meeting the blade of her knife just below his chin. He watches in awe as she tears off her mask and tosses it aside like a Frisbee, allowing him a look at the face of the grim reaper in the body of a child.

It was taboo for an assassin to leave behind any traces apart from their calling card. Maybe she figured she was safe with him. Dead man tell no tales, after all.

But...could she really kill her enemies?

The man that owned her and was forever tattooed into her skin with a metal rod. Or the father of the boy that raped her, making off with the final piece of innocence she'd intended to reserve for Haru. Could she actually...murder her boss? The man that took her in when her foster family kicked her out, abandoned her on the streets. The same man that pretended to look out for their best interests, tough but stern.

She wasn't sure if 'could' was the right word.

Had to? That was more like it.

If you're the dog to bark first, you _are_ the alpha. Even if all you're doing is just blowing smoke. Its all in the execution and the illusion. And these men that stood against them were masters at hiding behind smoke and mirrors.

"You see, Mai...our operation dates all the way back to when Kureno himself was an agent," Akito begins, his malicious features shadowed. "He's our elusive fourth member. Or, at least he _was_ until he was killed in his time in prison. The weakling," Akito grumbles, smacking his lips as if the words tasted awful.

"And though we're not big on monologues of our plans, it matters not if we tell you," Hiyagota continues, putting out the cigar that resided between his teeth since they arrived. "This mission has already been carried out whether we die here on this field, or if we live on to see another wretched day. Our point has still been made."

Akito smiles smugly. "Indeed. You fools entrusted all of us at one point. You believed we were striving to bring about justice, that we were good people. And yet, like wolves and goats among sheep, we have infiltrated without you having a clue as to what we were up to. Your own enemies were _right_ under your noses."

"And with plans to leave once we accomplished that, there were things that needed to be handled while we were here. People we wanted to take down with us. People like _you_." Hiyagota laughs. "And every last idiot fell into our trap. Gone without a single being noticing their absence. On the off-chance someone did, they would no longer be around to miss anyone."

"You see...not every villain in a story has a reason. Nor do all of them have a motivation for being wicked creatures." Akito stretches his stiff fingers, and cracks his neck. His crazed smile growing like a wildfire. "They just are."

"Enough talk. I'm craving a fight," Ryu sneers, his intentions full of menace though he doesn't brandish a weapon. "Its you and me, Mai. Fisticuffs. Just like I taught you." He looks between Akito and Hiyagota. "You two can have at it with her boy toy. And _do_ remember to have fun." His voracious eyes rake over her, working his lip between his teeth. "I know I will."

Haru looks to Mai, his eyebrows furrowed. She nods to let him know that she can hold her own and that it was okay for him to focus on the other two. But not without reminding him to be careful, squeezing his hand.

 _I trust you_.

She faces forward with determination, empowered by his show of confidence, and clinging to every drop of strength he could offer. Coming face to face with the nefarious sadist that raised her...she'd need it.

Before Haru has a moment to reload, a sword is sent spiraling towards his head. He only manages to duck at the very last second. "I'm fine," he says, jerking his head in the direction of the man watching her every tick. "Stay on your guard. I got this."

Once Mai double checks that he's safe, she focuses on her own fight. Thought not without fear cutting its way down to her bones. She rubs her sweaty palms on her thighs, in hopes of him being oblivious.

"Don't keep me waiting, Mai. Its time for you to show me how much you've improved." The man smooths his hand over his hair, his excessively plump lips boastful with his cocky smile. "Your master has missed you."

She grits her teeth, analyzing the situation at hand like its a chess match. One where it would end only when one of them captured the king in one or two moves.

 _Check._

 _Checkmate._

If she's truly the Queen - traditionally the most powerful chess piece on the board - she had to go about it strategically. And not play herself in the process.

Mai spreads her feet apart in a wide stance, holding her palms up in contrast to his defense of fists. The sun caught on his brass knuckles at a certain angle that was sure to blind her if she wasn't careful.

He runs forward with fists drawn.

And she practically springs off the ground, anticipation rendering her breathless when she manages to bring her foot down in a powerful axe kick that lands right in the middle of his toes.

But Mai hadn't expected him to be wearing steel toes.

She screams, hopping around on one foot as the other throbs in pain. It wasn't meant to hurt her...it was supposed to be the move to break his toes, and allow a window to follow up.

This was not going well at all...

All the color drains from Mai's face, and she bites back another yelp when he grabs her by the throat and his nails dig into her flesh. The pressure and stabbing pain is unforgivable as the walls of her larynx squeeze together, contracting with the weight of his hands.

"Still scared of me, huh?" He mocks, yanking her towards him and placing his manufactured lips near her ear. "I love you when you're terrified."

Her face turns dark shades of pink the longer she's deprived of oxygen. She claws at the hand around her neck, failing to force her lips apart to beg for mercy. And not really wanting to.

With the shreds of energy she still holds onto, she knees him in the groin. And is sent skidding back when he shoves her away, his hands crossing protectively over his crotch as his face flashed angrily.

"You'll regret that," he snarls, swearing when Mai pounces him, pinning him to the ground with her body. She straddles him, clammy hands feeling around for her gun until its locked up in her grip, shaking as she does.

The muzzle taps his forehead with an obtrusive clack.

But even at gunpoint, he's still wearing that contented smile.

Like this was the last step before the hollow victory sure to come.

"I hate you for what you did to me. What you made me." She narrows her eyes, condemning her tears for wanting to show themselves. "I trusted you!"

"A mistake you can only blame yourself for..." he answers, just as nonchalant as a shiftless sloth on vacation. "Look at yourself. You're still _weak_ and _foolish_ as the day I found you. You wouldn't have the balls it takes to kill me. And you know it too."

"Shut up!" She shouts, bringing the butt of her gun down to smack him in his temple. "You don't get to tell me who I am, anymore. That's up to me."

"Go ahead, and shoot me then. Man up," he challenges, his hand enclosing her wrist until he's moved the gun into his mouth. And he closes his eyes with a peace of mind that made her ill. Showing just how _truly_ he doubted her tenacity, and was watching for every crack created under his pressure.

Her fingers twirl along the trigger. But she just...she _can't_.

How _could_ she kill _him_?

"Do it, Mai!" Haru commands, taking a blow from Hiyagota's blade that makes him grimace. Though he readily counters the next swing. "Finish this! Only you can."

Mai breathes heavily, torn between her past and present self. Twisted and hopelessly lost about becoming a murderer of the man that made her one. Conquering evil with evil.

But she can't think anymore about it...when her fingers squeeze and a shot explodes through surgically enhanced lips, blood spattering her in the face and clothes. Detonating a thick and unbearable coppery stench that's almost as foul as the smoking corpse beneath her.

She tumbles off of him backwards on all fours, shocked out of her mind, and still-

Shaking.

But he'd let himself die. He let her kill him, when he could have easily overpowered her and sent her to an early grave. But even in the end...he still won.

He'd wanted to die.

A high-pitched sound that barely resembles something human blares across the battlegrounds. And Mai spins around just in time to see the body of Hiyagota fall, sending dust from the ground flying into the atmosphere, and settling over him.

Now that his only two allies in this not-so civil war were dead, it only left him but one choice.

And that was to eliminate the one whom killed his comrades.

Akito surges forward with blood pouring from his ocean of obsidian and into the eye welled shut with bruising, raising his massive sword up high to sink it into Haru's chest until the cavern swallowed it up to the hilt. Like a whale consuming a man without mercy. But Haru's feet were kicked out from beneath him, his eyes becoming moons as his back hits the hard turf with a thud that ends in dead silence.

He gives a yell that threatens to rip his throat in half as the weapon meant for him is inherited by someone else. Someone...he never dreamed - could bare to imagine - would take a blow for him as the result of his own recklessness.

Metal slices through flesh like an apple, the foot - and the shin that bridged it - dropping to the grass as the girl collapses, her vision swirling in patterns and gradients as no sound could be produced from her lips. She heaves, drawing in ragged breath, as her heart pleads to be pierced.

Just to make it all stop.

Until the shock would wash her brain in numbing waves, muting the nerves that declared her handicapped.

"Mai!" Haru howls, cursing his voice hoarse as he scrambles over to her side, taking her trembling hand in his as her face scrunches in inexplicable anguish.

Akito's machete dangles from his hand, foreign blood dripping off its blade as he warily eyes the pairing. It was two against one, and he wanted to even the score to make things fair again. He never planned for this...this display of protectiveness and the thing these young fools prattled on about.

This _love_ thing.

Now the question that concerned him was...where did that leave him?

"Ha-" Mai gulps in oxygen with a large shuddering breath, her other hand reaching for her thigh, trying to determine if this was real. She couldn't be missing half her leg...she couldn't be bleeding out and-

Dying.

"Mai, no," Haru chokes out, his free hand grabbing for her other one as he shakes his head. "Stop. I don't want you talking right now. I need you alive."

"Get..." she pulls in a breath, her chest tight as a straitjacket. "...him..."

"As entertaining as all of this romantic crap is, I'd like to speed this along," Akito comments, debating on whether he should bother cleaning up his sword. "I have places to go, people to see-"

Animosity taking control, Haru releases his grip on Mai, ripping Old Reliable from her uninjured leg. He doesn't even hesitate before firing at Akito's face, blowing his head off and relishing in the satisfying ring of the gunshot as it blasted through his skull. Dead silence rippling across the vicinity the instance his body joins the rest.

His white-knuckle grip on her gun tightens even further, Black Haru starving for more vengeance as White Haru grieves for his girlfriend.

He didn't know what needed to be handled first.

Destroying the corpses of their enemies until there was no body left to be buried.

Or to call for help, despite knowing his voice would be lost to the wind.

He grumbles under his breath, crawling until he's beside Mai once again. His fingers drum on his knee as he stops to think. To prevent her from losing any more blood until they got to a hospital...he needed to bind the wound. He needed something like...a tourniquet?

He nods with afresh determination, searching the area for what he'd need, abstracted from the tears falling down his cheeks. He considers tearing off Akito's shirt and pressing it to her wound until he gathered everything. But he banished that thought quickly, wanting no part of that maniac on her.

Instead, he brings the collar of his shirt into his mouth, tearing off the material with his teeth and setting to work. He winces as he sees her own tears turn crimson as they mix with the blood smattering her face. His own severed ear was crying for medical attention, but he couldn't bring himself to care when the only girl he loves could stop breathing any second.

And that was his scariest reality.

"Mai...I'm going to have to wrap this around your thigh." His voice breaks off before he can dare try to comfort her, his eyes gravitating to the stump that heavily soaked the tufts of green beneath it. "It'll hurt. But I need you to trust me."

"Guh," she gurgles, her eyes squeezing shut. "Do it..."

He leans down, pressing his forehead to her own, panicking at the dropping temperature of her skin. He captures her lips with his, to distract her and to take a kiss...just in case its the last. He exhales against her mouth as he gingerly and carefully lifts himself up, swiveling around until he's holding the cloth directly over the gash.

He steels himself.

"3...2...1..."

"Ah!" She shrieks, her back arching as the pounding torment shuts out the environment around her, nearly making her go blind.

He bites his lips hard, forcing back the nausea that rose with each cry, wrapping her bleeding appendage so that it staunches it temporarily. When he finishes, he grabs for the choker he had specially made for Mai. Tracing his fingers along the face of the gemstone.

With a tourniquet, you need something to tie it with.

He would _hate_ to use the band of her necklace for it.

But, he wasn't so sure he had a choice.

"I'm sorry, Mai..." he says thickly, wriggling the gem until its free, tucking it into his back pocket for safe keeping. With the black and white strap, he tears it in half with his incisors, wrapping it tightly as he can manage around her knee and knotting it.

She whimpers through it, and it kills him.

But it was the only way to cut off the circulation of blood in her arteries long enough.

Approximately, it bought him an hour and thirty minutes before she would succumb to necrosis.

Hospital...

Right.

"I'm gonna carry you on my back," Haru declares, swiping at the sweat and tears that rain from his stormy eyes. "You'll be safe, soon."

He makes his way behind her head, on his knees, silently vowing to himself that he would keep his word. He would never lose her.

He'd rather die first.

She remains silent, her eyes closed as he tucks his arms beneath her, propping her up against his chest.

And with that...he shoulders both of their lives to the nearest hospital.

Over thirty minutes away.

...

One Day and Emergency Surgery Later...

"What's wrong with _you_ , Miss Grouchy?" Foxy asks, plopping down in the chair beside my bed and kicking her feet up.

"Seriously...?" I drawl.

She sighs, twirling her red locks. "What even happened to you? The doctors say it was some kind of accident, so I assumed it was a car wreck. But I don't think that's the case." She nods her head towards the door. "That boyfriend of yours was said to be pretty banged up before he took off."

Haru was here?

Well, of course he was. He probably had wounds to dress and pain to treat.

But had he stopped by to see me?

Even once?

"You guys make me ill," she drawls, examining her nails when my gaze returns to her. "You're _so_ lovey-dovey."

"Jealous?" I ask, a hint of a smirk tugging at my lips.

She scoffs. "Girl, please. I happen to have a very hot date lined up after I'm done here. Rude much..."

I lay back and close my eyes, warmth crowding the cold in my chest. "Thanks, Foxy. For being here."

Even though you didn't have to be.

"Don't mention it." The seriousness of her tone makes me crack an eye open, though she's quick to scowl when I do. "I mean it. Don't mention this to anyone. I have a-"

"-Rep to maintain. I know," I finish, the medicine leaving me loopy enough to smile. "Thank you for risking it, anyway."

The next minute or so is quiet enough that I can hear the steady beeping of my EKG. Like she's deliberating what dry retort to give next. But what she says renders me completely speechless.

"Anytime."

...

Tohru keeps me company with magazines, her penchant for looking on the bright side of things, and shadow puppets.

Yes.

The kind where you turn out all the lights (except the machines that keep me in the dark about the nature of my injuries, like the IV) and use a flashlight to cast shadows on the walls using your hands. But I have to say, it was highly entertaining when she used a squeaky voice for one hand, and a thick french accent for the other.

Though it made me a bit sad for the way it reminded me of Haru. And our time spent together living out youth that we had never experienced. Complete with root beer floats and a playground.

Towards the end of visiting hours, she flips through a teen magazine, throwing questions my way for a quiz.

"What's your idea of a perfect date?" She reads in a clear, eternally kind voice. And it flows like its imported from the land of milk and honey. "Is it a) A picnic for two, b) A summer bike ride, c) A romantic movie, or d) Hiking?"

I smirk. "A paintball war."

I wish we had done that before-

My mind stops short, my thoughts hitting a barricade that I refused to go through.

Tohru's face scrunches up cutely. "I don't think that's an option for this one. Maybe we could write it in?"

I wave away that notion, offering a smile that's glaringly strained. "Ah, there's no need." I sigh a little. "What I really need is some coffee."

It always helped me when I was down, after all.

And there was nothing like coffee from Mr Hashirama.

The only cups he didn't spit into were the ones served just for me.

My heart lurches to a stop. Then gradually resumes again.

 _I missed them._

 _How long has it been since I saw them last?_

"I think...I think Hatori loves me," Tohru muses, her lips forming a more tender smile than the last. Revealing a maturity that was so unlike the bright and bubbly girl.

I pause. "Really? How about you? Do you feel the same?"

She blushes, her hands flying to her cheeks. "Y-Yes." She squeals. "I'm just...I'm nervous about it. If I told him, everything could change."

"But I thought you'd be the first to embrace progress," I say. "I would think you'd see this as a positive thing."

She bobs her head, the pink in her cheeks calming. "It is. But with everything that's happening with the transition at the agency, I-"

"-Wait. What?" I blurt out, shocked despite myself. "You know about the _agency_?"

She gives a smile. One that's almost...teasing. "I've known since we first met. Hatori and I have been together for two years. He originally asked me to strike up conversation with you when you were under investigation for some awful rumors." She chews her lower lip. "By that point, we already knew each other. But I didn't want to pry or stick my nose where it didn't belong. Hatori understood, and he asked you directly."

Ah, how could I forget? The gossip about me allegedly sleeping with Akito for A-class missions and a high pay roll. The part of me that delighted in dark humor was teeming with laughter over that nonsense now. They had no idea how far from the truth that really was.

"So...you're an actual friend? Not just someone sent to spy on me or something," I confirm, though even I know that sounds ridiculous for someone like her.

She waves her hands, her eyes wide. "Of course! I love you, Mai. You're one of my best friends." Her eyebrows crease in fierce determination as her hands still their frantic movements. "And if things get as serious as they seem to be becoming...I want you to always be in the know. If Hatori and I take things further, I promise to tell you first." She moves her sleeve back and makes a fist. "I'd write it in blood if I had to."

I burst out laughing, ignoring the stitch in my side. "Now I'm really not sure that you aren't an agent. Who else talks like that?"

She beams pleasantly. Like I just paid her a first-class compliment. "My mom used to be part of a gang. I guess I inherited more than just her smile."

I shake my head.

Tohru was Tohru.

What more could be said?

...

The next few days pass in loneliness and sleep. I spend most of it too drugged up to really know what was happening and whom was talking to me, holding my hand with warm fingers and tender touches. All I knew was the hand-holding started off timid. Hesitant, even. As if the stranger was paranoid of how I would react if I knew their identity. Recognized the feminine and delicate hands that refused to part with mine the entirety of the evening.

But on this particular night...I was awake.

I was turned on my side, my hip pressing into the twin mattress as I stared blankly out the window. I was so caught up in thoughts regarding Haru's whereabouts and what I would do when I finally got of here, that I hadn't even registered the soft footsteps. Or the closed door that heralded them. It wasn't until I felt the bed dip beside me that I jumped, startling the woman behind me.

"Oh, darling! You gave me a fright." She claps her hands over her chest, her eyes wild and popping. "I don't need to be hospitalized for a heart attack on top of the stroke."

"Mother," I breathe, wondering if I was simply under the influence of the strong medicine. I was starting to wonder if the drugs I was hopped up on were laced.

Her hands fall to her sides, though they open and close. Open and close. Her amber eyes darting around the room as if fearing that someone would catch her at any moment. Looking over her shoulder every few heartbeats.

"What are you doing awake, Mai? You should be resting."

"I _have_ rested. I'm more surprised you actually got my name right, _mother_ ," I spit out, feeling self-righteous and emboldened at the thought of her being at my mercy. Because she came to me. "Was it you visiting me these past few nights? Since when do you care about whether I'm living or dying?"

"That's not fair," she huffs, her arms coming crossed at her small chest. "You know why I didn't keep you. You've received my e-mails."

"Have I?" I retort, surrendering to emotions I didn't care to kill any longer. "How is it that you're even speaking so clearly? Wasn't I just visiting you in the hospital before all this happened?" I narrow my eyes. "Or was that just some ploy to mess with me?"

"You're not thinking straight." She pinches the bridge of her nose, as if dealing with the equivalent of a drunk toddler. "You really should go back to sleep. I'll leave."

"I'm not finished," I say, sitting up until I'm looking her squarely in the eyes. "Whether I'm like this or I'm not, you're still a manipulative, cold-hearted, witch. I just never had the courage to tell you to your face."

She gapes at me, and I resist the urge to take it back. Because I meant to do this. I meant to hit her where it would hurt. If she really did make a full recovery from the stroke and the expressive aphasia...why should I continue holding back? Its time she listens to me. And I mean _really_ hear me. Not have her tell me what's going to happen and how its going to be.

Its my turn.

"You want to know something else?" I throw out, feeling snide and unforgiving. But too keyed up to care. "A family that's loved me more than you _ever_ have, has offered to adopt me. And I've decided to accept."

Her mouth drops open a fraction more, pain in her eyes.

"It might suck that, for some reason, I can't bring myself to hate you. No matter how bad you made me feel about myself. Even through all the times you transferred money to not tell anyone that I'm your daughter. Or the impersonal e-mails. Or the fact that you've _never_ apologized for any of it."

Keep going, Mai.

Stick it to her once and for all.

"But I don't want you in my life." My nails bite into my palms, leaving angry red crescents. "I don't need to spend my life trying to earn your approval. Or trying to please you. I don't need any more broken hearts. You've caused me way more than I should have allowed. But I'm done."

I grow more angry when tears blur my eyes, and I'm quick to retreat my gaze to my lap. Something safe to look at. But I can't help but to furtively peer up at her through my eyelashes when I hear something that sounds vaguely like a sob. One that's no louder than a small whimper.

She blinks hard and looks away, her throat rolling with a harsh swallow. Stricken.

Slipping her purse strap over her shoulder, she gets up, making her way out of my room with her head held high and the scraps of her dignity.

And that's the last time I see her.

...

I feel incomplete.

Sure, there's the residual pain. But all I have to do is pop a pill and it dulls the aching a fraction. What it doesn't do is take away this...sensation...like my leg is still here.

Even though we all know its not.

Tonight, I'm being fitted for a prosthetic leg after they remove the bandages. There's talk of them cultivating something that appears to be real, and feels real, even though its not truly mine. But then...I told them no.

The two bottle blonde nurses simply shook their heads, as if this was the rape all over again and I was just touchy right now.

That I would change my mind later.

The next thing they threw at me was the idea of using stem cells from my bone marrow and reconstruct the leg I had lost. Technology had gotten more advanced. They were duped into believing that this would somehow fix me and make everything okay again.

Screw them. And screw this.

"Alright, Miss Sohma. Its time to remove the gauze," Dr Koshi says, rolling her stool over to the side of my bed. She glances over, her features lighting up at the sight of all the teddy bears, balloons, and flowers that had been delivered.

"Aren't you the popular one?" She giggles, slipping her glasses on and its light. "That's good. Friends and family are important in times like these."

I fight the intense urge to roll my eyes, feeling like crap but not caring enough to dim this woman's bright and sunny mood. Really, it made sense for her to be happy. She had scar-free skin, the nose and lips of a model, and _both_ legs.

She must be thrilled.

"You should know that the sight of your... _injury_ can be shocking. Its okay if you don't want to look. We can simply have you fitted and proceed. Some patients do prefer to look in order to have closure. Its all about what you're comfortable with."

How about you leave me alone and-

"I'm fine with looking. Thanks," I mutter flatly, folding my arms across my chest as my eyes impatiently searched the room.

I haven't seen black or white since I first arrived, outside of the white walls and tile floors. Haru was nowhere to be found, and there was nothing around with his name on it. My team - or more accurately, Shigure - bought me the stuffed animals. Ayame was responsible for the balloons, which surprised me as its been two weeks since I've been admitted and he's still the assassins instructor. The flowers were Tohru and Hatori's doing, though they haven't visited for a couple of days.

Where was Haru?

"I understand how you're feeling," she says, her fingers pausing just above the first layer of bandages. "But if you are-"

"-Save it," I snap, having to bite my tongue to cut off the insults that might have slipped.

Funny.

I guess I lied.

Destroying this woman's stupid positive attitude was exactly what I wanted. Because it made me sick to see it. I know I'm the worst person in the world for feeling this way. But when you've been through heartbreak after heartbreak without rest and your whole life has only amounted to sorrow...its hard to see someone dumb enough to believe it all gets better.

I know from experience that it doesn't.

Her lips smooth into a sad line, melancholy marring her expression. Deciding to let the silence become our conversation, she unwraps my knee from its covering, systematically lifting it to allow more slack. And the more skin I see...the more broken and damaged, discolored inch of it that's revealed...

The more nauseous, hurt, and angry I become.

A gasp parts my lips, though I'm quick to slap a hand over my mouth and stifle the sound.

Its pale blue and white, speckled with hints of brown like blood that had dried. Its mismatched and dis-configured, and I expected that. But part of me was still in denial. That when I had lost it in the fight, it had been a distant dream, or one induced by the medicine prancing through my veins. But now that I'm actually looking at it and knowing that I'm awake...

"Miss Sohma..."

"Give me a minute," I demand, brusquely. I turn my head to hide the darkness drowning my eyes. "Please leave."

She gracefully rises up, making an exit so quiet you'd think the agency personally hired her to look after me. It wouldn't surprise me these days.

Not like this.

The moment my hand drops to my side, a whimper escapes me. My lip trembling despite myself as I nervously slide my fingertips along the nub where my leg should be. The moment I get too far down, I recoil, hissing in pain as it feels like I've been sliced through all over again.

I cry out, the strain on my voice rolling through the room and bouncing off its paper thin walls. I collapse backwards on my pillows, my hands grabbing for the sheets beneath me as I'm slashed and stabbed through a part of me that no longer exists. Like my toes are being roasted over an open fire as I'm tortured to the point I crave unconsciousness. Just to escape this. I can't...take this...

"Miss Sohma!"

It doesn't even bother me when Dr Koshi grabs me to help me straighten up, too distracted by the torment of this moment and the tears free-falling from my eyes. I faintly register a piercing feeling through my wrist and take refuge in the black that feeds itself on my mind.

I submit to the dark, thankful when the pain meets its match.

...

They're holding a memorial service for the man behind my botched amputation. That's what I gathered from the mass e-mail sent out to everyone in regards to the loss of the agency's head, and Hatori filling in his shoes.

I also figured it was all to bury the truth of there ever being a mole. Because if word got out, fear would spread faster than a cold, and it would break morale. People would turn on one another as they stopped trusting and started doubting - questioning.

But, where's the justice in that?

For us?

Akito fled his conviction. None of it was fair, as it was all for the sake of saving face, and keeping the peace.

I almost wish I could bring Akito back and return the favor of his little parting gift.

I cant my head to the side, staring at the pink of the sunset but not really here. In another time and place where I had both legs, and the promise of a future that I could live with.

The moment my leg was skewered was the exact instance that future died. What good were you as an agent if you couldn't even stand?

You...were nothing.

"Miss Sohma, we will begin the procedure in one hour," Dr Koshi says, peering at my monitor and periodically checking to see if I was adjusting to the pain medicine properly. "I don't know if it will make you feel better. But, the leg that has been created looks stunning."

I silently trade my lack of focus for giving the woman attention, mildly ashamed of my earlier behavior and curious as to what she was talking about.

"You see," she continues, re-claiming her seat, "Not only is it finely crafted of metal instead of the pseudo-skin we use for normal prosthetics, but it is designed for the wearer to eventually conduct themselves normally. Walking, riding bicycles, and jogging can all be possible with this leg and physical therapy." She scrawls some notes in the illegible penmanship that doctors are known for. "I would want you to see our PT specialist at least three times a week, five if you're up to it."

 _I bet I wouldn't be able to swim, even with a new 'leg.'_ I snort at the thought. _It would probably rust._

She chuckles lightly, tearing the page off her notepad and setting it on my tray. "For that, there are means of protecting the leg itself from rain and even chlorine. Or...if you are willing to compromise, you can use the conventional prosthetic that can handle all elements if you care for it."

Before I can fully register that I thought out loud, the door to my room slides open.

And in steps-

"Moo Man," I breathe, my eyes flicking towards my uncovered injury. I hurriedly throw my blanket over it and ignore the pain, scared of how he'd react to seeing me like this.

Messed up and useless.

One of his ears is only half there, and it draws my gaze first. Most of the fight ran together like the days that I've been in and out of unconsciousness. I vaguely remembered him being wounded at all.

My heart leaped as his grey eyes pushed past every wall I'd built up since being injured, crashing through until they're demolished and all he sees is me.

 _My soul and heart and brain and everything else that I wanted to hide._

I glance pointedly at the heavy blanket.

 _Well, almost everything._

"I'll give you two some time alone," the Dr says, an intuition to her tone that she doesn't conceal. A smile decorates her full lips as she slips out the door and into the hall.

And I find myself entranced in the emotions that cross his features, his hands coming untucked from his pockets as he approaches.

If it were anyone else looking as sad, furious, and heartbroken as he did...it wouldn't sway me. If anything, it would only make things worse.

But this was Haru.

The same boy that kept his feelings locked up tighter than a maximum security prison. He was now completely unguarded, his heart thrumming like bees as my head met his chest and his arms went around me. I feel the weight of his head on mine and the whisper of a pained breath that rushes out, as if he'd held it since the second I lost my leg and time ceased.

My body shakes.

But I'm more so insecure than afraid about my loss.

He's the one creating the tsunami passing through his body and rocking whatever calm I'd barely maintained.

"I'm sorry," he groans, his voice gravely and raw as he holds me tighter. "I'm sorry that I was too slow. I shouldn't have...I'm sorry, Mai."

I shake my head, tasting salt on my lips as my cheeks dampen. It was hard to tell who the tears belonged to. But it didn't matter how many clouds grew heavy, it still looked like rain.

"There's never a reason to blame yourself over this," I mumble, frowning when he scoffs. "I refused to let you play damsel in distress. You were in trouble." I swallow the bitterness that threatens to choke me the more I think about what could've been. Where I could have been, what I could have become.

"I didn't think about it, really. I just knew it would have to be you or me, and I would never let it be you."

"I wish you hadn't done that," he growls, his voice several degrees darker. "How am I supposed to live with myself when you sacrificed yourself for me?"

I angle my head slightly to look at him. "Its exactly that reason that you _should_ live. Otherwise everything I did was a waste."

The room is overcome by silence as we both accept the truth in my words. Even despite the acrid aftertaste it leaves. And I had to try my best to not meditate on the pulling of my scars or the faint pain that leaked from the leg that was MIA.

That is...until-

"Can I see your leg?" He asks, pulling away from me just so he can allow me room. As if expecting me to comply. "I..." he clears his throat. "I need to."

"Need to?" I echo, bewildered as to why it was so important to _him_. Besides, I was far from okay where he was involved. I didn't want him to see how I've always looked on the inside. In pieces. Broken. Damaged. I wasn't ready to stop hiding yet and face him. I wasn't ready for him to see how ugly it all was.

I shake my head, the ends nearly smacking him in the face with each swish. "No."

"Mai," he says, voice shaking. "Please."

I hunch forward, wrapping my arms around myself in the absence of his. "I don't _want_ to, Haru. Can't you understand that?"

"I need to see it for myself...I can't explain it. I just know I won't be able to stop thinking about it until I do." He places his hands over my own as they hugged my waist, bringing them up to his lips as he pleads over and over again. "Please let me see it."

My throat slams shut and my voice remains trapped in my vocal chords. I couldn't verbally refute it, no matter how adamant I was about him not seeing. Because he was stubborn. And he would fight me on this every step of the way if it meant reaching me. Filling my soul no matter how cracked and weak and crumbled it was.

I turn my head away to face the window again, focusing my everything on the view of glittering, neon skylines as my voice finally broke free of its confines.

"Fine."

 _I don't want to see your face when it happens._

He allows one hand to stay on mine, the other venturing somewhere prohibited. Trespassing. I can feel the gentle - but calloused - sensation of his fingers curling under the blanket, dragging out the unveiling inch by dreadful inch. I find myself muttering under my breath words that run together and blur to the point they just vaguely sound like 'don't' and 'please stop.' But he doesn't. And the air is somehow thick and hard to breathe as my eyes squeeze shut like a shark's jaws until I feel a draft taunting my skin.

He blurts out a curse towards my new flaw and his own failings, turmoil laced with loathing writhing off his body in harsh, jagged intensity. And my eyes snap open as I become sharply aware of why he had to see it for himself. Even though he'd already watched it bleed when he salvaged the rest of me.

He wanted to know that it actually happened.

That...he was justified in hating himself.

And I couldn't stand it.

"I'm sorry," he rushes out, hopping out of the bed and my head whips around at the movement. "I'm sorry Mai..." he spits out expletives, nearly tripping over himself to get out the door. "I can't, I can't be here right now. I'm sorry."

"Don't go," I whisper, tears falling hard and fast when the door closes with a thud.

...

Last night, I was given my new leg.

It was everything Dr Koshi had promised.

State-of-the art steel, carefully done and extravagantly high grade as if it had been crafted for the woman's own daughter or beloved instead of me. A criminal shut in heroic skin that wanted to be anywhere but in her own body.

I was a far cry from being like everyone else.

But even the weight of something being there and pretending that my leg still existed didn't help. Because there was a phantom pain that lingered somewhere in my chest. Like a pressure that absolutely refused to lift, no matter how many optimistic texts Tohru sent me, or empowering posts and funny memes Foxy shared.

Because I was still so hurt that Haru left. That he didn't even bother trying to communicate with me about this. And talk like he always asked of me. And that feeling planted the beginnings of a grudge and mild indignation within me. One of the last things I wanted was to be mad at him.

But I am.

I am angry.

My phone buzzes, and I roll my eyes expecting to see yet another text from the girls. Only for my breath to catch when its something else entirely.

 _When do you get released?_

 _I need to talk to you._

 _\- Moo Man_

I swallow. My hands wobble slightly as my fingers move quickly across the screen, sending the message and allowing no seconds of hesitation.

 _I get discharged this afternoon._

 _Why can't you just come here?_

Part of me couldn't help but leave in the second part of my message to him. If he knew me at all, he'd know that I was upset.

I'm jolted from my thoughts when his response wakes my phone. And I fumble with it for a second before I unlock it.

 _Its more private this way._

I bite my lip, a rave of nerves bouncing off the walls of my chest.

 _Where do you want me?_

He replies quicker this time.

 _I'll pick you up._

And with that, I set my phone down on my tray and lean back into my pillows. And I try to not consider all the possibilities and potential outcomes as I force myself to watch the sitcom in front of me and not the clock. Though I couldn't deny that my eyes darted to it in between the laugh tracks as I silently counted down the minutes.

...

Just after I'm wheeled to the waiting room to sit until Haru arrives, a man with forearm crutches struggles into the chair beside me. And he expels a breath, glad to be resting. Even though time didn't seem to be kind to him, with some of the wrinkles on his forehead and the smile lines, he didn't look a day over forty-four.

But something about him struck me as...familiar...somehow.

The second he looks at me with his hazel eyes, I know.

I recognize him.

 _"You idiot! Why are you taking so long with this bum? You think you're playing hero? Do you really believe you could save this man?"_

My bullet had lodged itself in his spine, and converted him into a paraplegic. He was said to be paralyzed from the waist down for the remainder of his life. Only...he was walking. Regardless of him using crutches, it was something.

Something better than being bed-ridden.

"You," he addresses me, his inflection serene as if already knowing I'd be sitting here beside him. In this precise moment in time. "Its nice to see you again."

Um...what?

He smiles, crows feet appearing at the crease of his eyes as he angles his body to face me. "You _do_ remember me don't you? We met in a less than desirable situation. But I thought I didn't look _that_ much older than I did back then."

I laugh. Awkwardly.

"Um. No offense, but...why are you being so nice to me? I ruined your life. You should hate me."

 _Whoa there, Mai._

 _Don't go giving him any ideas._

He reaches over and pats me on the hand, though I jump at the honk from outside.

"That's my ride," he says, his arms twitchy as he uses his crutches for leverage to stand. When he finally does, sweat has beaded upon his lip from the effort. But he still looks happy as can be.

 _How is that possible?_

 _Can you truly be that happy when a piece of you is missing?_

"You were just a child. A lost and misguided child." He shrugs. "The damage is done. What would be the point in staying mad at something that's over and done with? It would be most foolish."

The light beep of the horn sounds again, and he laughs. "My wife is mighty impatient. But I love her anyway."

He looks over at me one final time. And he looks me in the eyes, earnestly and honestly, offering me one last kind smile.

"I'm sorry that you lost your leg. But I believe that you'll overcome it. Just like I have." He cants his head. "Instead of letting it be a hindrance, turn it into a secret weapon. There are advantages to being about to survive with just one leg. You're already tougher than the rest of society. And you'll thrive more than they ever will with _their_ handicap."

With those profound words and a farewell, he walks out.

Right before he can see the tears fall.

...

I'm relieved the moment we arrive at Haru's dorm, completely free of the tense car ride and the nurses constantly popping up to see how I'm feeling.

He closes the door behind him, wheeling me towards his bed as my hands clutch a teddy bear that Shigure purchased. There was a whole class of them in the car. But there was only so much we could carry with me being in a wheelchair for the time being.

When we come to a stop, he takes a seat on the end of his mattress, directly in front of me. And he's just shy of eye-level with me sitting up higher than him.

I fight the impulse to fidget with my necklace, because just like my leg, it was no longer with me. Instead, I take to hugging the bear to my chest with its chocolate fur. And we sit quietly as he searches for words of explanation.

But before he can say anything, my mouth works faster than my brain and I speak my heart.

"You hurt me."

He breathes out, his eyes closing tightly as if that sentence pierced his heart. And now that its hanging in the atmosphere, it just feels that much more painful. And corporeal.

His gaze once again rests on mine. Even though his own irritation and frustration assails him. "That's why I left yesterday...because I don't ever want to do that to you again. Never," he grits out, his hands clenched tightly as his expression. "I've caused you too much trouble. I've screwed things up for you, Mai. Just because I was too stupid to get out of the way. Just like everyone says about me."

"You're not stupid," I say firmly, leaning forward until I'm even closer. "You had no idea what was coming. You completed the mission, even with this hiccup."

I wince at my choice of words, recognizing it for the understatement that it was.

His own disagreement is in the stiffness of his form and the snort that leaves his nose.

"I wrecked your ability to _walk_ , Mai."

My hand flies to my mouth, something just as familiar pulsing in my ears.

I robbed Haneul of the same...didn't I? And, if I couldn't forgive myself for the bullet that came from my gun. For how weak and oppressed and submissive I was to Ryu...how could I ask Haru to not be mad at himself for not moving in time? He was too blinded by his own rage to see what I was only now seeing.

People made mistakes.

We were prone to error and fallacy.

Some of us didn't know better, and some of us couldn't do better.

Its what connected us all as human beings. We weren't perfect creatures.

So why chase perfection?

"Then I'll use my wheel chair," I say, sitting up straighter as something bold spreads through me. "And then I'll crawl...step...and eventually, with physical therapy and, and maybe some heart...I'll walk again." I look him dead in the eyes, floored by the sincerity of my own speech. "Because I'm not going to spend the rest of my life caving in to what makes me afraid and allowing what happened to end in vain."

His anger subsides and gives way to awe, and my fingers tighten around the bear a fraction more. I wasn't sure if he would challenge my bravado with something a little more rational. But instead, he flips a lever on my chair and gathers me into his arms, the sudden addition of my weight causing us to fall backwards.

He kisses the corner of my mouth, staring deeply into my eyes with admiration and a tinge of regret that still doesn't want to let go. "I want to help you, somehow. If you'll let me." He kisses me again. Only this time, he lands one directly on my lips. "I know I can't make up for my mistake. But I want to do what I can to erase what I did. Even if that means I go with you to every session and help you when we get back here. We'll find a way. But at the end of the day...I'm so proud of you, Mai."

I smile, and smile wider still when I feel his lips lift marginally. He looked so much more gorgeous when he wasn't scowling. He may not be the happiest with himself. But he would heal. And so would I.

Somehow.

I trail my nails lightly over his severed ear, my heart beating off rhythm with a yearning to kiss it better. I'd forgotten he'd lost a part of himself in all of this.

"Having two ears or two legs is overrated," I say softly, leaning in to brush my lips over his ear lobe. "We can do just fine without them."

He chuckles. "That's the great thing about you and me, baby." I flush at this new pet name. And feel my cheeks warm all the more when his hands clasp behind the small of my back. "You can hear for me, and I can hold you up."

I feel myself melt into him, and I'm almost overcome with the insane need to share our souls. To somehow merge them together to be closer than we were already.

"There's only one other thing I need to take care of..."

His eyebrows draw together. "What's that?"

"What about my life as an agent? What's left for me?"

He ponders this for a few moments, the beginnings of a smirk twitching along his lips.

"I think I might have an idea."

...

Epilogue

Yuki makes his way into the small office, sauntering towards the front desk to sign in to the clipboard. The sleeve of his shirt bunched at his scarred wrist. And it only serves to rattles his nerves further when he looks up to see the receptionist making sad eyes at him. Though the moment they make eye contact, she's quick to look back down at her desk, stacking papers and toying with paper clips.

He sighs, setting the attached pen back down, and carrying himself to the seating area. The lobby was full of plush sofas and arm chairs that begged to have you talk about your life for hours on end. And this was just the waiting room.

He found himself in a blue chair, directly beside a girl that sat with her knees up to her chest, completely fixated on the mosaic of carpeting as if it were hypnotic. Her hair was the rich shade of a pretzel, reaching down to the middlemost of her back. Her fringe obscured her eyes, alluding to the mystery that she was. A brain twister that no else had cared to solve.

But one Yuki found himself intrigued by.

"Its odd that they don't offer refreshments, isn't it?" he questions, his velvety smooth voice making her take notice of him. "You'd think with how many hours we spend here, they'd at least provide some sort of incentive."

The girl nods. "That's true. But I think it would be a lot more appropriate if they just passed around alcohol instead. You know? To cope with everything."

Yuki manages a small, polite smile. "I think that would be rather detrimental to everyone's progress, don't you?"

"Hmm. Maybe. Or it could make all this worthwhile." She shrugs. "I don't really know if I'm going to continue...I seem to be more than my shrink can handle."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be," she says, waving that away. "That's just the way it is in the life of Machi. Who else refers to themself in the third person but a crazy person?"

Yuki rests his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. "I don't believe there's anything wrong with that. Its...unique. Either way, I hope you get better soon, Machi."

"Tch. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about being _better_. My mom was a perfectionist, and it was suffocating to live with...who says I have to be?"

 _She understood._

 _His mother...was so like that._

 _So convoluted in her motivations, yet putting on an act of perfectionism._

 _But he was flawed. And so was she._

His smile softens, his heart pumping a little faster. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Touche'."

She glances over at the windowpane, watching the snow fall against the glass in peaceful patters, pulling down on the sleeves of her threadbare sweater.

"Hey. When we get out of here...would you want to walk around in the snow with me? It would be...imperfect."

Yuki bobs his head, leaning back comfortably. "In that case...I'm in."

...

After Hatori became the new boss of Sohma Agency, he turned everything on its head. The relationship ban was lifted, the interrogation unit only allowed those eighteen or older so they were in interrogation out of their own consent. Not forced to. And the same went for the assassination and bomb squad.

Yup. Things were a lot more relaxed around here...

"Alright, its time to do your drills," I command, earning several groans from tens of young faces.

" _Aw_. But Miss Hashirama-"

I stare out at them with my sternest expression, making mouths clamp shut and heads to hang.

"Need I remind you of the rigorous training _I_ went through when I was your age? I would think hearing that story five times would have sunk in by now," I say, my eyebrow quirking in question. "You've all done warm ups. Now its time to do suicides, lunges, and mountain climbers. Don't make me add burpees."

At my threat, they're lightening quick to kick things off, despite how red in the face and sweaty they are from my intense stretching regimen.

I pace the room with a smile of satisfaction, amused at how they suddenly adopt a perfect form the second my feet pass in front of their view.

It wasn't always like this, though.

There was a _long_ period of adjustment before I was even able to stand with my metal leg, let alone teach a class how to work like well oiled machines and fight for the greater good. A good that I was once too jaded to accept for myself. But at Haru's suggestion, before we turned twenty-one this year, that I teach instead of remain a field agent...I couldn't help the song in my head that my heart began to beat to. One of mirth and excitement and far less baggage than what I was used to. But one that I became accustomed to as time passed.

However, it wasn't an easy path to follow.

Both literally and figuratively.

I wanted to quit. I almost did, actually. Several times I stumbled or couldn't get out of a chair. There were weeks that would go by where I just wanted to lie in bed because it all felt like a lost cause. Moot point. By the time I was eighteen, I was at an impasse. Because even though I could walk for a few minutes at a time, it wasn't enough. And I had nightmares of getting injured again, being confined to a chair, and never recovering a second time.

I was afraid.

But Haru was there with me, just as he promised. Whenever I would get tired or exhausted of all the failures and missteps, he stood by me. He encouraged me and pressed me and was my anchor every day of the year for almost six years. With leap year...that's roughly 2,161 days.

And he never gave up on me.

Not once.

Even though I was ready to give up on myself.

"Do three more, then switch to long-lever crunches," I bark out, delighting in the way their arms shake and they breathe hard.

It wasn't out of sadism that I was glad for it.

But because I knew all that pain and strain meant strength they were gaining.

Eventually, these exercises wouldn't even cause them to break out into a sweat.

The moment they hit that inevitable plateau...was when I would make things hard.

I was very pleased with how capable they were to handle any challenge I threw at them. It reminded me so much of Haru and his beautiful and admirable resilience. I would be sure to tell them every day how much they improved with what they need to work on. To tell them of where they were weak, but also of the areas they were powerful in.

A hand rests lightly on the small of my back, and my lips form a gentler smile, my legs ceasing in their pacing.

"Hey, Moo Man."

I spin around to face him, slinging my arms around his neck as his go around my waist and he tugs me close.

"You almost done here, baby?"

I blush thirty shades, just like I always did when he called me that. Knowing him...that's exactly why he does it.

"If they're not collapsed on the floor, then no. You tell me."

He glances over my shoulder. "Half of em' are. Is that enough to appease you, Queen Mai?"

I roll my eyes, remembering when he first called me that. "Give it a few minutes more and only one of them will be standing. Trust me."

He snorts at this. "A power trip a day keeps the sanity away, yeah?"

I nod. "Of course."

I revel in how natural it feels to be in his arms, my class panting and heaving as more drop like flies. I shake my head a little at their theatrics. "You all know not to lay down with your heart rate up like that. Its not safe."

"Miss Hashirama," they gripe in unison, gradually sitting up and standing on wobbly legs.

"You heard me," I add, fighting back laughter. "Either you get up or do push ups. Its your choice."

They scramble to their feet - albeit slower than the first time - and start in on jumping jacks. Anything to avoid the dreaded strength portion of the workout.

"Want to grab some dinner at New Leaf?"

I brush my nose against his, grinning like a lovesick fool. "Do you even have to ask?"

Now that Tohru ran the place as opposed to my dad, every food item was not only loogie-free, but also the tastiest and most addicting thing I've ever tasted. The ownership rights were transferred just two years ago, right before Tohru and Hatori's wedding. So while dad entered early retirement, Tohru's life had only just begun with her man at her side and a restaurant under her domain.

The place was completely transformed, while still maintaining the former owner's flair. Where there was once tacky neon green name tags and checkered aprons, was a satin, deep red material. For the apron and name tags respectively. The vinyl booths were all replaced with newer ones, while still keeping with the theme of cherry colored decor. The tables were the one thing that stayed the same. Being the sticky surfaces that they always were. It was a nod to what the joint used to be, and how it truly turned a new leaf under new management.

Foxy was promoted to manager, right under Tohru, and was steadily working towards her GED. She decided to seek out the help she needed to overcome the aftermath of rape. An aching vein we both bled from. And even though things weren't always sunny with a high of eighty, she was happy and more trusting. We now met up every week to shop and get coffee together so we could catch up.

I detach myself from Haru and instantly miss him, pivoting so that I face my worn out protegees.

"We're done for the day. Feel free to hit the showers, we meet here tomorrow morning at six am."

Just as some of the more vocal children open their mouths to complain, I hold up a finger.

"One word about it and you _will_ stay to do fifty standing jack knives. For _each_ leg."

Not a single soul wastes time escaping, practically flying out of the door as some of them squeeze by each other to be free of my training. Haru and I share a laugh. Both of us tidying up the training hall before walking out hand-in-hand.

The air outside is the right kind of chilly, though rivaling how good the sun felt on my face, as we make our way towards the pub. Its a stark disharmony to the warm atmosphere of New Leaf, home of the world's best brewed beer and dumplings. Though I'm feeling wistful enough to order Yakitori and a vanilla malt.

Just like the day we first met and I spilled fruit punch on him, he sits across from me. Only this time I put my feet up in his lap and he keeps them there. His hand reaches across the table for mine, and his rings slide against the single one on mine. Its the one that tells me each and every day to _Love Again_ whenever it gets hard to keep myself open. Whenever being dependent and trusting Haru with my life can feel like a chore when memories of my past surface.

But it got easier.

With each secret smile and malt and game of 20 Questions we shared, it felt fun and exciting. Our relationship was more like an adventure - with good moments and bad ones - and we never ran out of space to explore. We only grew more knowledgeable and wise. But the joy never faded. And the happiness was never gone for too long.

Tohru arrives at her table, pen and notebook in hand, armed and dangerous. Because even though she owned everything in this place, she didn't want to forfeit the opportunity to serve her customers personally. It allowed her a chance to get to know their stories. And like a bartender comforting a weepy drunk, she listened with her heart on her sleeve and a big smile.

"What would you two like?" She asks, her ocean blues sparkling.

"The usual," Haru and I say. I can't help but laugh when we speak at the same time, though I'm quick to follow up with ordering a glass of root beer on the side for him. With his favorite soda and my malt...I had a feeling they'd go good together.

"Coming right up!" She cheers, bounding off into the kitchen to give her chef the orders. She'd fully fleshed out the staff and had two men busing tables, two girls on dish-washing duty, and a chef and her assistant. And now the place was always exploding with bustling activity. Everyone came for the smell of freshly baked cookies and drinks on tap, but stayed for the quality meals and the friendly service.

I pluck one of the bread sticks from the basket with my free hand, biting into it with a satisfying crunch as crumbs tumble down my cheek and spill onto the table top. "I never thought I'd miss burnt bread and seats with holes in them...but I kinda do."

He stands in the booth, biting onto the other end of my bread stick like we're in Lady and the Tramp or something. He gnaws his way to the middle of his end, and I try to play along. But...my concentration is broken by the giggles bubbling in my throat. And before I know it, I fall back in the seat in a fit of laughter as Haru finishes it off. His face still just as blank as the day I met him.

Gotta give the man _some_ props for such an impressive poker face.

Even now.

"What were you _thinking_ , Goth Boy?" I ask, in between laughs. "Seriously?"

He gives a shrug, folding his arms. "I was trying to be romantic. But in the end, it could only fail."

I scoot to the edge of my seat, prying his hands from him. "Don't go pouting on me, _baby_. Its the thought that means something. Just like the time you brought me Smores in a ziplock bag."

"What a mess that was," he deadpans, looking away.

I use my fingers to tilt his chin in my direction, a smile teasing along my lips. "Didn't matter. It was still incredible, and it made for a good memory that I've always held onto. Besides..." I smile. "...it gave me something better to associate trains with. Because of that day, I will think of trains in a differently."

His intensely grey-black eyes look right into me, his fingers busily twirling one of his rings. But whatever he was planning to say next is foiled by an ill-timed interruption.

"Here you are," Tohru sings, setting down my plate of meat on skewers and his tray of dumplings. Our drinks are set down right in the middle, beside the salt shaker and napkin holder. She bows, saying, "Enjoy your meal," before floating over to the next table to serve an older couple.

Just like that.

"You were saying?" I prod, gesturing with my hand for him to continue.

He looks at me for what feels like minutes more, only to shake his head and take his chopsticks out of their wrapper. "Nothing...it can wait."

My eyebrows raise to my hairline, though he's too occupied with his food to really notice.

"Oh. O-ok." I shovel three bites of meat into my mouth, slurping as much as possible through the thick straw to stave off my curiosity. It didn't hurt that I was pretty hungry from today's events. Our chewing and the background chatter of those around us reigns over the lack of conversation in this moment.

I'm happily enjoying my vanilla milkshake when, in the most random and causal way, a ring box is placed in front of me.

Its pretty fair to say I choked.

"What the he-" I cough, clapping my hand over my chest several times. "Haru!"

My voice is reduced to nothing more than a croak, watching as he pops it open with skilled, calm fingers. Like it was something he could rehearse in his sleep.

"Its for you..." he scratches the back of his head, the faintest of blush coloring his cheeks. "I'm doing it right, aren't I?"

"I don't know. What _are_ you doing?" I sputter.

"Proposing...? At least, that's how I was told I'm supposed to do it."

I give a dry laugh, so off my guard. "Last I checked, the guy gets down on one knee. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I'm not trying to be a jerk by any means.

I'm just...really surprised, is all...and confused as to why he'd want to spend the rest of our lives together when he babysat me 2,161 days, already.

"More sure than I've been about anything," he declares, straightening from his slouch. "I love you, Mai. And even though we're in a crowded place and I don't know how to ask you properly...I want the person that I live for to be closer to my heart than they already are. To play dumb games and talk and work to save people like we wished they had done for us." He laces our hands together. And my pulse skyrockets into the next orbit.

"I want us to do it all, as one. You're the reason I'm deciding to love again. And I'm not sorry to break it to you...but I've never stopped thinking about you or chasing you. Even when you fought me, you're the only one that doesn't run away from me because I have two sides. You love me and treat me as if I'm not crazy, like I'm one person with one personality. And no one has _ever_ done that for me."

He removes the silver ring from the box, complete with the garnet gemstone from my choker, garnished with rosette. My heart pinches, my gaze entirely fixed on our hands as he slides the band onto my left ring finger.

"This is not just a promise to willingly love again. Its not just a vow to love only you, and to never betray how you feel about me. But its also an apology."

He cups my cheeks, making my eyes clash with his. And I watch the emotions that flicker through them, like an old black and white movie, filled with hope and romance and everything he wants us to be.

"This is me saying sorry for having to use the band I gave you, from your necklace. For you losing a part of you in the first place. I just hope that I stand a chance at making up for what I stole from you."

"Haru-"

"-Please," he breaks in, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. "No more making excuses for me. I just...want you to love me despite all the crap I put you through. That everyone else made you go through."

I shake my head a little, my hand moving to his to weave our fingers together. "Of course I love you. You're mine."

He smiles openly and brightly enough that I have to do a double-take, my photographic memory taking a snapshot that I would look at any chance I got.

"Do you want to go back to my apartment and split a '95 Cabernet Sauvignon? Its my mom's."

I nod fervently, scarfing down my Yakitori as fast as my body will allow, though I'm fully aware that Haru's laughing at me the entire meal.

...

Before we went back to his place, we decided to make a quick stop at my parent's. Mimi was home for the weekend, so I wanted to take advantage of everyone being home for winter break at once.

The moment I knock, the door swings open wide enough to add another dent to the wall, creating a larger hole from all the years it had been flung into it.

Mimi drags us into a bear hug, her flowery perfume launching a full-scale invasion in my nose.

"Hey girlie," she squeals, tightening her grip until I hear my back crack. "How's life treating you? It must be _so_ exhausting going all Double 07 all the time."

I choke out a laugh, struggling for air in her hold. "Its not too bad..."

Haru gives a grunt - whether out of agreement or the weight on his lungs, I don't know - before we're both released into the arms of oxygen. Apparently, Mimi still worked out...and she abandoned her restraint a few train stations back.

She rolls her eyes, giving me a playful poke in the arm. "You shouldn't be so modest, babes. Its bad for you." She sighs, cocking her hip as she folds her arms tightly across her chest. "Just like how pizza and burgers are bad for _me_. I've been such a fattie since the holidays started. See."

She turns so that we can get a good look of her backside, giving it a little shake. "Like I said. Fat. Guys like a booty, but not like this one."

I glance over at Haru, elbowing him in the ribs when his eyes linger a second too long. He gives a forced chuckle, stalking off into the living room without bothering to remove his boots.

Chicken.

Out of an embarrassing hint of insecurity, I check out my own outfit in comparison to Mimi's.

I was dressed a little more sexy than how I used to. But Haru hadn't said anything about the change. Which was more than a little disappointing considering the three hours I banked into my shopping trip with Foxy.

My boobs were accentuated by the plunging neckline of my black bandage crop top, clinging tightly to my toned stomach, and decorated with white stripes that crossed at the center of my torso. My skirt was almost a floor-length midnight black, cut with a slit up the side that kept my prosthetic hidden and left my real leg to take center stage. I was actually excited that I donned my red bottoms (one one foot, no less), and hadn't tripped a single time today.

But now, looking at Mimi's flawless look...I felt a little stupid.

And under-dressed.

She was dressed to kill in her off-the-shoulder bright and tight red dress, paired with her intimidating black platform heels.

My hair was wavy and ringlet-free. But her intricately curled highlighted hair was _too_ stunning to compete with.

Maybe I should go to her for fashion advice, next time.

"Oh wipe that look off your face, Mai."

I jolt at the sound of Mimi's voice, her knowing and prying eyes doing battle with my wide and surprised ones.

"You're hot as I don't know what. You clearly don't pay attention to how that man looks at you. He _stares_." She clucks her tongue, as if this is common knowledge and my high school diploma needed to be re-evaluated. "He's in love with you, and everyone knows it."

"I know that," I mumble, defensively. "But...I want him to be attracted to me, too. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Heck no," she says. "But its obvious he wants you." She turns on her heel, grabbing me by the hand and dragging me to the living room. "Watch and learn, honey."

"Mimi!"

"Shush," she berates, her exasperation surround sound for the world to hear. "I'll prove it to you. And then you'll give me all the _deets_ on just how he proposed to you." She meaningfully appraises my ring, before pulling me more forcefully into the next room.

I have no clue what she could _possibly_ be up to. But she's a crafty one...and unnervingly unpredictable.

We arrive upon the scene to see Haru standing in front of the fireplace, one hand tucked into his pocket, and another holding a photograph of me the day I was adopted. I was dressed my best, because I felt an inane need to impress the judge that day. Just to up my chances of things not falling through. Because I would be majorly upset if I couldn't become part of their family. But it all worked out in the end, and it made for a pretty spectacular photograph. Especially since Haru made me laugh right as it was being taken, and my eyes were half-closed and my mouth was open unattractively.

"Yo," Mimi calls, jarring him from his trance and directing his flat eyes our way. "Come sit on the couch for a second. I want to test something."

He sets the picture down and obeys, without question as to what this all means or why she was bossing him around. He reclines into the brown leather sectional, comfortably settled in and silent.

"Now, its your turn," Mimi says, smiling deviously as she gives me a shove hard enough that I stumble. I flap my arms like a bird, my heel catching onto my skirt and sending me falling into his lap.

He catches me effortlessly, barely making a noise when I land a little too forcefully and my weight catches up with me.

I throw my arms around his neck for stability. And blush like Tohru on a hot summer day in front of an adult store.

"Hey," he says, a smile dancing on his lips.

"Hey," I echo back. "Sorry about all this. Mimi can get a bit crazy when she hasn't eaten her fifth meal, yet."

" _Excuse me_!" She screeches, hotly. "Is that a crack about my weight? That was pretty sucky of you."

I snort at this. "If the insult fits...or, doesn't fit, in this case."

She curls her hands into fists, like she's about to storm out of the room or throw something.

What she does is much worse.

"Haru," she begins, sweetly. "Mai here wants to know if you think she's sexy. I wasn't going to humiliate her by asking you outright, but...things have changed."

I narrow my eyes at her, heat warming my cheeks.

"Well, that was low."

Mimi cackles maniacally, sashaying out of the room - once again - in full effect. "You can thank me later."

Haru's eyebrow lifts. "You want to know what?"

I slap him on the shoulder. Hard. "Don't make me repeat it."

He winces, though he refuses to nurse his undoubtedly sore arm. "Again with the domestic violence. Before we get married, we need to get counseling. Or...anger management classes."

Just for that, I slap him again.

My eye twitches. "Shut it..."

He carefully lifts me off his lap, turning me around so that I face him directly, before he re-situates himself on the couch.

He kisses me on the chin. The nose. The forehead.

"I love you, Mai. And I've told you just what I think of you before."

"You have?"

He nods, looking faintly offended. "I don't waste my words. And I never lie." He shrugs. "I might withhold information, but I'll always be honest with you. Especially when I say you look hot, and that I've been thinking about what you're wearing underneath your clothes all night."

My breath hitches. And it gets further and further away when he kisses down my neck, the vibrations of his words against my skin tickling my neck.

"When we get back to my place...I want to prove to you how hard its been to keep my hands off you. If you're okay with that."

"Um..." I swallow, my eyes closing just so I can come back to myself. "A-As long as things don't get too...um...far. I want to see where we take things. I mean, where you take things." I let my head drop to my hands. "I'm so awkward right now. Ugh."

He removes my hands from my face, laughing softly. "You're cute when you're nervous."

I sniff, turning my nose up in the air. "I thought I was only cute when I was feisty."

"It goes for both. Anyways, we should probably go see your parents. If you want to have time for the main act, that is..."

Its safe to say that Haru and I left an hour later. Though he definitely didn't walk out without sporting hand prints that strangely resembled my own.

...

Haru jiggles the key in its lock, breathing a sigh of relief when the door gives and we're swept up in the cozy temperature of his apartment. He'd forgotten to turn off the heater before leaving. But even though it was an expense, it was much appreciated after being out in the cold the entire walk over here from home.

Its a quaint place with plenty of room for the two of us.

But because of the fact I still volleyed against pre-marital sex, despite what happened to me, I mostly stayed with my family when I wasn't working at the agency. But there's no doubt in my mind that things would change as the impending wedding grows closer.

I strip off the coat Haru let me borrow, delicately sticking it on the coat rack, and rubbing my hands together.

He tugs the corded string of his lamp, flooding the room with its warm glow. It illuminates the beige walls and the tan carpet. It dips over the snug and well-used love seat that had seen plenty of company, from Yuki and I. The couch is a mismatched - yet festive - red and green, smothered in pillows and stray popcorn kernels from the last movie we watched...two days ago. The counter is littered in cereal boxes and unwashed bowls. The bookshelf is full of nothing but thrillers, action movies, and awards he's received as a top-notch undercover agent and bomb squad specialist.

It just felt so...homely.

In a really, _really_ good way.

"Make yourself comfortable," he says, setting up his stereo. "Any requests?"

I seat myself on the clean cushion, tucking my leg beneath me and hugging a pillow to my chest. "FTIsland."

Even though his back is turned, I can tell he's smirking.

"Of course you would..."

'Pray' by them streams through the speakers, in mono-stereo for the full experience. And with the extra bass and the way the vocals traveled back and forth between the left and right speakers, it was like reliving the concert from all those years ago. When he first held me and I just _knew_ I was in trouble.

All my nerves fade behind the song's melody. And completely dissolve when Haru slips his hand into mine, and he gives a tug until I'm standing.

He moves my hands to hook behind his neck. And his arms circle my waist, slowly shuffling his feet in a box. Seguing into a waltz to our song, regardless of how fast it is.

He brings his lips close to my ear, his breath warm and smooth as melted chocolate. "Are you still a _good girl_ , Mai?"

Chills roll all over me, and I flush at him bringing my past words into our present.

 _"I thought you'd know Sohmas have c_ _onnections, by now. You've never used the Sohma name to get a good deal or get out of a detention?"_

 _I shake my head, curiosity buzzing in the back of my head at the potential stories behind his words. "Nope. I'm a good girl."_

 _I could almost kick myself the moment I realize how that sounded. And Haru doesn't make it any better by responding with-_

"I'll believe it when I see it," he whispers, his tone thick with insinuation that makes my stomach twist.

His hands inch down, and I step close enough that I press against him. "What if I don't want to prove you wrong anymore...what if..." I nuzzle into his neck, my breath coming out more shallow. "What if I want you to touch me like this?"

I wouldn't take my clothes off, or anything.

But I want to know...what our boundaries are.

What they can be.

My feet leave the floor as he brings me into him, his lips hovering dangerously over mine. His eyes are hooded. Darker as they peer down at me. I lick my lips and he groans. He brushes his over mine, and I melt. And come alive. My body burns as hot as the sun, threatening to explode until we kiss, and I moan at the relief I find in his lips, and his tongue, and his heat. The coil of tension in my stomach relaxes the more of him I feel.

A sensual track follows up the last song, in the same moment his tongue dances with mine, and I find myself unraveling to his increasing heartbeat. His fingertips tremble as they touch my skin. My arms...my leg...my face...a lance of pleasure zipping through my rib cage. And instead of it making me remember something I'd forced myself to forget...it makes me feel like I'm floating along clouds in Heaven, warm and light with the beauty of Haru's love for me. And how freeing it is that we're together, alone, in his home.

When we do finally manage to disentangle from one another, we share a bottle of wine. Toasting like he used to with Yuki when they were children, swamped in blankets as his arm stays around me, until I fall asleep on his chest.

Even as I drift off to sleep.

The night is wonderful.

This life...is incredible.

Yuki escaped the interrogation lifestyle, and underwent therapy. There were rough nights where he had nightmares and stints of when he'd lash out at me for what I'd taught him. No matter how often I'd apologized for it. When PTSD talked, we had no choice but to listen, sometimes. But slowly...over the years...he's improved. And while the bad dreams haven't stopped for him or for me, he was learning to be human again.

Kagura and Kyo were now officially a couple. Kyo denied it at every waking moment, but we'd all seen the stolen kisses, and the silent but obvious looks he gave her when she wasn't looking. We all watched as he fought with her. And argued about not wanting to go anywhere with her to do anything. But he always followed her in the end.

As for Rin...well, we don't really talk. Last I heard, she and X were back on again. Though most people would only give it three days, I'm thinking it might actually last between them. So long as she's changed.

Everyone got their own version of a happy ending.

Even though I had an ugly beginning, and a terrifying and confusing middle...I'm happy.

I learned that real family isn't always blood-related.

That you don't have to remain enslaved to your past, or harbor unforgiveness towards yourself.

That people can and will disappoint you. Not everything will be fun or easy. You will be caught off guard, and hurt, and break. Some of the things that scare you the most are the best things. And will forge from you a force to be reckoned with.

You should own your flaws, so they can't own you.

Because...being imperfect is okay.

Its enough.

 **The End.**

* * *

 **Wow.**

 **I'm at the end of this story.**

 ***We're at the end.**

 **Because we got on this ride together. And are now stepping off together.**

 **Throughout the two years, three months, and ten days since this story has been published...so many things have happened, in and out of writing.**

 **I've become an adult.**

 **Physically** **and Emotionally and Mentally.**

 **The struggles have aged me in heart.**

 **But I've come out more able to handle what's next.**

 **And through everything else I've written and experienced, this story has been a safe place. Kind of like a base in tag. Its been there. And the characters have lived on these pages, among your reviews and support.**

 **I've been ready to end this story since...maybe...Chapter 5 of No Strings Attached? But even though I'm glad to have brought this story to its conclusion, I feel sad too.**

 **I'll miss Mai's temper.**

 **Haru's deadpan.**

 **The action. The romance. The fun of writing about missions, and putting my own spin on secret agents. (Especially with how much I _love_ Totally Spies lol)**

 **But thank you for reading it.**

 **During its good days, and its bad ones.**

 **My favorite moments would have to be the times they took care of Ayure. But I also loved the nightclub, gymnastics, and sorority missions. If you want, let me know what your favorite was.**

* * *

 **Thank you _Killer Disco Queen_. I truly believe your encouragement and exhortation is endless. And I don't say that lightly. I hope you liked the ending I decided to give to Yuki. Its pretty open-ended as to what'll happen to him next. I figured it was a better choice over him staying dark and running towards more emptiness. I wanted you all to think Haru was really the bad guy. At first. Though I _know_ this chapter is sure to surprise everybody (including me. It almost wrote itself.) I love ya, Queenie! And even more so if I only had a heart.**

* * *

 **Thank you _SweetLiars._ Girl. Lemme tell youuu. You're amazing! ^_^ For loving Kpop and Kdramas (I'll choose to turn a blind side to your distaste for salad), I gotta say...you have _great_ taste. ;) Yuki's hopeful/happy ending is for you. Though it might upset the Queen, it had to be done. xD And yeahhh. Kyo's pretty clueless when it comes to romance and all that. Hence his odd relationship with Kagura haha But I love ya! And am thankful to have gotten a chance to talk to you and read a couple of your stories! Thank you, again. :'D**

* * *

 **Thank you _Kuramasgirl19769._ Even though its been some time since we've last talked, your support definitely never goes unnoticed or ignored. Thank you! :)**

* * *

 **And thank you to everyone that's ever given this story a chance. Whether you've been silent or loud. I'm deeply appreciative of your support! :)**

 **I hope to see you all for another story.**

 **But until that happens...**

 **Peace! :3**


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